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Honoring My Humble Father
Let
me begin by wishing all the dads out there a very Happy Father's Day.
It's another beautiful day in Montreal and I want to head out there and
enjoy it, but first let me introduce you to the most important man in
my life, my father, Dr. Thomas Kolivakis. That's him with his two
grandchildren, Thomas and George. Another Thomas, their cousin, is in
Crete with my sister and brother-in-law.
My father was born on
December 22, 1931. As a child he lived through the second World War, an
experience that had a profound effect on him. First, like many of his
generation, he is deeply religious and has repeatedly told me that his
most important relationship is the one with God. It has helped him
persevere and deal with his personal challenges and it has given his
life extraordinary meaning.
My father doesn't believe in what
Marx described as using religion as the "opium for the masses." Instead,
he prays, reflects and strives to be a better person by understanding
the deeper meaning of the gospel. I often catch him reading the bible,
and even though I'm not religious, I'll ask him what he's reading
because I'm curious. He will explain it to me and relay it back to every
day life.
The second thing that I noticed about my dad being
brought up during the war is that he values education and hard work and
doesn't believe in materialism and waste. If he sees me throwing away a
piece of bread, he'll chastise me and tell me to freeze it instead.
Drives me bananas sometimes but he's right, people are starving out
there and we tend to take a lot of things for granted.
When it
comes to his work, my father is incredibly devoted. He's almost 80 and
has worked for over 40 years as a psychiatrist and still follows
hundreds of patients very closely. My brother followed in his footsteps
and I know part of me wanted to, but I got sidetracked and developed an
addiction to macroeconomics and financial markets which I still have.
Ironically, with his limited knowledge of financial markets, my father
is much wiser than I am, stating flatly that the "stock market is all
gambling," all part of what he calls "aero-capitalism" where individuals
make a lot of money "selling nothing but hot air."
One of the
things my dad keeps repeating to me is that "when it comes to money and
sex, only too much is enough." He's seen a lot in his career and knows
that money doesn't buy you happiness. He knows all about what Pete
Peterson, another product of Greek immigrants, calls the meaning of enough. Having been diagnosed with MS at the age of 26, and recently turned 40,
I know money isn't going to bring me happiness, but I still want to be
rich because I'm still clinging to the silly notion that money buys you
freedom (it can but it can also make you miserable).
Both my
parents taught their three kids proper values in life and continued to
do this even after a painful divorce when we were relatively young. They
believe in education, hard work, and treating people with compassion
and respect. My father sent us to French private schools and always told
us that as long as we lived in Quebec, we should value the French
language and culture.
But going to French private school also
exposed me to money and other value systems. I remember back in high
school, my well-to-do friends' parents were buying them cars, so I sat
down with my father and asked him to buy me a car too. He listened to me
patiently as I ranted on about how it's important to fit in, and asked
my brother to join the conversation. I'll never forget what he told us:
"I will never buy you a car. As long as you're doing well in school and
complete a Master's at a minimum, I will pay for your food, clothes,
vacations, give you some allowance, love you and support you. That's it.
I learned how to drive at 29 at Soldier Field in Chicago when I was a
resident and bought my own car. You will buy your own car when you can
afford it."
I also remember when I first got to CEGEP (two year
college mandatory in Quebec before university), I was enjoying my new
found freedom. I had a hard time going from a strict French private
school to college, so I abused my freedom and partied a lot. My grades
suffered and my parents were not pleased. They decided not to send me to
Greece that summer and I was fuming. I told them I would find work and
leave on my own. My father told me to "do it."
So I did it,
found any job I could. I worked in a smoked meat factory in the east
end. Never ate smoked meat ever again. I worked at a Jewish cemetery
digging graves with a shovel and wheelbarrow. That was the hardest job I
ever did. Didn't last long there too. Finally, I found a job cleaning
tennis courts near my house which paid me well. It was fun, got to tan,
and made enough money to head off to Greece and party with my buddies on
the islands. Best years of our lives! But the lesson my parents taught
me was that I was fortunate enough to go to school and should take it a
lot more seriously. I never took the value of an education for granted
ever again.
Last summer, my sister told me that when she had her
boy, she realized just how much we owe everything to our parents. We do
owe everything to our parents and I don't tell them often enough how
much I love and cherish them.
The Quebec Association of Psychiatrists recently awarded a lifetime
achievement award to my father for clinical work. He's an extremely
humble man and wasn't comfortable making a speech. I was in Toronto that
day helping a Montreal commodities manager seed his fund, but my brother, sister-in-law, and two of his three grandchildren were in attendance.
Words
cannot express how proud I am of my father and how much I love him. He
has put up with my insufferable character which has gotten worse ever
since and I was diagnosed with MS, especially in recent years. I
have been through a lot, and he has stuck by my side every step of the
way. He's still there for me, patiently listening to all my problems,
consoling me when things aren't going my way with uncanny compassion,
and praising me when he's proud of me. I'm learning to listen more to
him, going to the gym, and will take the necessary steps to be a better
person, a lot more like him.
That's why today I want to honor the
most important man in my life, my father. Thank you for being the
greatest father and grandfather in the world. If at the age of 80, I can
look back at my life and be half the man you are, I will be proud of
myself. I leave my readers with the one video I absolutely love
watching on this special day. Happy Father's Day!
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Very nice post. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man.
Can we not honor our fathers by joining the fight against tyranny?
Lets free humanity.
III
Today, June 9, 2011 the world is less a warrior. I admired my father more than any other person on this planet; not for being a law enforcement officer, not for being a tough guy. I admired my father for his ambition. For 20 years, he went to work every day and was the first guy in the office. He wanted our family to have everything we needed and most of what we wanted. Dad accepted the inevitability of death with integrity. Most Indians have a strong and natural veneration for old age, as though it were a certificate of approval for winning the long and hard battle of life.
In March 2011, he said that dying was a natural extension of birth; that they were part and parcel and that he looked forward to seeing his wife, Betty, in heaven. Dad, you were always there for me and you will be missed tremendously. I attribute much of your success in life to your ability to maintain an elevated mood and staying disciplined. You always knew where you stood and you stood there. As one of the finest rifle shots the world has ever known, you will always be an inspiration and a hero. You taught me well and I will do my best to honor your memory for the rest of my life. In death, as in life, you were a winner. God Bless Douglas Eugene Parisian. Dean Parisian, June 9, 2011
A beautiful tribute, Chippewa.
And on that note, I would like to wish a commemorative Happy Fathers‘ Day to our Founders, with this quote from Ron Hubbard.
“[T]he world today has been led to believe--by mental philosophies calculated to betray it--that when one is dead, it is all over and done with and one has no further responsibility for anything. It is highly doubtful if this is true. One inherits tomorrow what he died out of yesterday.
“Another thing we know is that men are not dispensable. It is a mechanism of old philosophies to tell men that ‘If they think they are indispensable, they should go down to the graveyard and take a look--those men were indispensable too.’ This is the sheerest foolishness. If you really looked carefully in the graveyard, you would find the machinist who set the models going in yesteryear and without whom there would be no industry today. It is doubtful if such a feat is being performed just now.
“A workman is not just a workman. A laborer is not just a laborer. An office worker is not just an office worker. They are living, breathing, important pillars on which the entire structure of our civilization is erected. They are not cogs in a mighty machine. They are the machine itself.”
Beautiful day in the Bay Area too. Happy father's day!
Happy Father's Day Leo
You are a rich man, Leo. Your father is richer for the man you have become. And I am richer for having shared with you today the love you have for your father.
The father and family are the strength of western civilization, under God.
Rudyard Kipling
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Excellent post Leo.
Happy Father's Day to One and All!
my father is much wiser than I am: Fully right
stating flatly that the "stock market is all gambling," all part of what he calls "aero-capitalism" where individuals make a lot of money "selling nothing but hot air." Also fully right
So why the hell are you still in the finance business ?
Best thread on ZH for a long time. You honour your father with this wonderful post. Nice one
Leo honors all of our fathers with his post. Thank you, Leo.
I just honored my father by taking him and the family to what has to be the worst Chinese restaurant I have ever eaten in. I'd give the name and city, but since we had a great time anyway, I figured not to.
Life is like that-one terrible Chinese restaurant after the other, held together by love of family.
Terribly deep, I know.
God that place sucked.
hard work, thrift, honesty. As i've tried to say since arriving at ZH in Dean Acheson's words via Seeking Alpha and "Present at the Creation" we all know how it's done:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7sI4vwH2ohQ
Very thoughtfull post, My father died at age 56. I wish he was around today.
Mine was 50 when he left, point is we should all stop worrying about XAU/USD shit and enjoy life because it's too short
Thanks Leo...My 95 year old Dad to whom my daughter and I care for is indeed the "Most important man in my life" too. I honor him by sharing and caring for him what he has so graciously done for me.
Happy Fathers Day
Leo,
Nice post.
We are the lucky ones. I share similar thoughts of my father who is 90, and has been in a nursing home for the past 8 months. I recently sold the family home and spent the weekend cleaning it out, room-by-room, triggering memory-after-memory. A bitch of a weekend.
VYou are fortunate to realize how fortunate you are in having had a father like yours. Guys like him are what makes the good part of the world go round. Happy fathers day to all