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How A Charlotte Stripper Got Credit Suisse To Admit To Mortgage Fraud And That "Someone Should Go To Jail For This"

Tyler Durden's picture





 

As part of today's subpoena of Credit Suisse over mortgages (which is yet another reason why when this is all said and done MBIA CDS will be back to trading spread from points), we encountered the following stunner. We won't bore you with details, so here is the gist: in a series of emails, represented below, we discover the beyond ridiculous story of a Charlotte stripper who had a Stated Income Loan with Credit Suisse, and when the Swiss bank decided to start backing into her actual income, which goalseeked to $12,000 a month (read the analysis on how this was achieved), which apparently raised some internal flags, and demanded that the loan be investigated, the broker claimed that the stripper's never formally disclosed income is credible and her loan should remain Stated. The last email in the thread: "Someone needs to go to jail on this one." And yet, nobody, not even Angelo Mozillo has, courtesy of the SEC. If there is one email thread that encapsulates all the excesses in the housing bubble, this is it. As for the rhetorical question at the end, we are confident that absolutely nobody will ever go to jail "on this one" or any other one for that matter.

Start at the bottom and read up.

h/t Manal Mehta

 


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Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:41 | Link to Comment michael.suede
michael.suede's picture

I would have Stated the loan only if I was provided pictures that prove she is hot and below the age of 25.

 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:42 | Link to Comment Fancy Bear
Fancy Bear's picture

+1. This discussion is worthless without pictures.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:26 | Link to Comment Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Much like the Osama discussion.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:38 | Link to Comment Popo
Popo's picture

Strippers in New York call $12k a month "chump change"

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:54 | Link to Comment infinity8
infinity8's picture

no doubt - but I am surprised nobody asked about her hotness factor. And seriously, there's plenty of people operating in cash - what planet is that douchebag from that doesn't know about buying money orders to pay bills?

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 04:21 | Link to Comment The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

The guy that took her loan app didn't need proof of her hotness factor, it was obvious while she was signing docs.

Better titled, "Who Conned Who"

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:18 | Link to Comment chrisd
chrisd's picture

They don't in the carolinas

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:41 | Link to Comment treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

Surprised they didn't require her measurements.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:25 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Dental records are vital in this case.  Did she have a full compliment of teeth?   If not, in what configuration were they missing?  

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:46 | Link to Comment Optimusprime
Optimusprime's picture

The word is "complement" here, Rocky.  Cheers.

Sat, 05/07/2011 - 11:50 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Ow!  I need flogging for that one.  

Not that I'm into flogging... not that there is anything wrong with those who like it.

Think I'll quit while I'm not so far ahead.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 23:39 | Link to Comment WizDumb
WizDumb's picture

touche !!

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:42 | Link to Comment NotAllowed
NotAllowed's picture

Blythe was that you?

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:54 | Link to Comment 6 String
6 String's picture

This is better than my porn channel.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:53 | Link to Comment tamboo
tamboo's picture

some of the pink pony girls dont do too bad

but they have to work a bit harder if you know what i mean.

 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:59 | Link to Comment carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Could we call her in for an offsite interview....

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 17:58 | Link to Comment QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Why does Mr. Sacco think they are called "liar" loans?  Only 5.56% - you be doing good so far! Do these guys get hired right outta "B Skool" or what? Is the anyone on the planet that does not know why people opt for "stated income" apps? Come on, WTFU? 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:03 | Link to Comment Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

I wonderr if the IRS is looking into this too. Lots of cash is there taxes? If she turns some tricks It's still illegal but shed have to report that income (IRS can't call the cops on you if you pay taxes on shady money).

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:07 | Link to Comment Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture

This is nothing; I've heard of real estate that comes with 'exotic dancer lodger' as standard for some of the banking market, loans with the same bank, of course (and no rent paid). Not even close to a joke; actually getting a flat without the optional extra was apparently harder than it should have been [cue Basil Fawlty shoving lovely buxom ladies into closets when partners came around].

 

At this point, if you're surprised you really haven't been aware of the excesses.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:12 | Link to Comment cxl9
cxl9's picture

"..divorced woman with kids.."

APPLICATION DENIED.

 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:35 | Link to Comment Weisbrot
Weisbrot's picture

seems like she's motivated

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 07:22 | Link to Comment just_looking
just_looking's picture

good catch, this probably answers the hotness question.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:14 | Link to Comment equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

America in a nutshell : lots of paper pushing whores in one service industry dealing for whores in other service industries.  And most of the people that do real productive work have scum bag unions all over them.    

Respect for the small business who actually do something productive on their own back.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:20 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Hey, she could be the Queen of Lap Dances for all we know.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:26 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Or, something else.  See my comment on dental records above.

Teeth hurt.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:27 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i dont see any pictures included with the application ....they should be the make or break

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:31 | Link to Comment Weisbrot
Weisbrot's picture

not her, she makes more than that.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:31 | Link to Comment Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture

You're behind the market: a top stripper now wears neurowear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w06zvM2x_lw

 

 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:29 | Link to Comment Die Weiße Rose
Die Weiße Rose's picture

why is that so hard to believe ?

$12000 a month is only 400 a day -

plenty of strippers make 600 a day and do 4 or more shows each day,

and that is just stripping...( they work several clubs)

good Escort Girls make at least three times as much a day.

welcome to the real world - where have you been ?

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 04:31 | Link to Comment The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Damn, to think of the tons of PMs I could have bought had I been a different gender, 35 years younger, in the 'right' business, and 150 lbs lighter.

Max Keiser needs to re-direct his break JPM campaign (buy silver) toward this demographic segment if they're making this kinda dough.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 18:40 | Link to Comment velobabe
velobabe's picture

well my mortgage broker bitch, stated my income was $8000. a month. i don't think i have ever "earned" $8000. in a year. this bitch fraudulently typed this number in after i had verified i made $2500. a month off of investments. this is a very sick world of finance. this shit needs to stop, these emails reveal what pathetic sociopaths are in the real estate industry. bill black did a most wonderful show with gonzalo lira today, on his weekly broadcast. mr black is just such a sound person. why aren't guys like him, taking over this shit for brains administration, geithner, bernank, obama nigger ass?

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 07:23 | Link to Comment just_looking
just_looking's picture

I agree.  I a home is usually most americans single largest investment, then the 'professionals' in that industry should be required to be licensed in a manner at least as stringent as insurance reps and stock brokers.

 

Seems like much of the fraud was created by these mortgage brokers, and then not noticed or overlooked by the banks, then passed on to investors.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 19:19 | Link to Comment Die Weiße Rose
Die Weiße Rose's picture

velobabe, then why did'nt you tell mortgage bitch that you only make $2500 a month and you don't want the loan, because you might not be able to pay it back ?

You can't really blame the finance Industry for wanting to give you a Loan, after all that's what they are there for. Everytime I got a Loan I lied my head off, since I am self-employed, but I would not blame the bank for giving me the Loan, in fact i made sure that I never ever defaulted on any Payments on any of my Loans and I am very proud of that .

I just never over-committed myself and would rather go hungry, then default on a payment.

I just always tried to live within my means and theres plenty of people like me ,

but some people just have bad luck or get greedy, with margin loans etc...

but why is that the banks fault ?

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 20:24 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I just never over-committed myself and would rather go hungry, then default on a payment.
I just always tried to live within my means and theres plenty of people like me,

You'll never get rich with an attitude like that, sucker.

But you know what they say: poor folks choose their lifestyle.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 21:05 | Link to Comment Die Weiße Rose
Die Weiße Rose's picture

ah blunderdog, I think I get where you are coming from,

you probably think it smart to take out huge margin loans

and then lose your shirt, house wife and kitchen sink and be enslaved

to the bank for life...is this your Idea of getting rich ? I have seen that done,

Greedy people like that get sucked into get rich quick schemes,spat out and burned,

but most only realize too late. These are the slaves, who are trapped with no lifestyle.

I have no debts and I am quite wealthy, without even trying.

whereas you probably bought silver on margin loans, and now you have to slave

like a blunderdog just to pay it off - or otherwise - flee the country and hide.

This was the story of the GFC....leveraged up to the eyeballs on margin loans,

betting on get rich quick schemes !

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 22:10 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Naw, point is, just about everyone who's really rich got there by ripping people off and fucking them over.  Most have been bankrupt more than once.

Learn their ways if you want to play.

I'm just not that interested.

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 21:14 | Link to Comment Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

Maybe Velobabe can do lap dances and earn a little more?

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 21:00 | Link to Comment indio007
indio007's picture

For the people that don't understand why this is the bank's fault,

It's obvious from the emails that all they gave a shit about was 2 things

whether the insurance was going to pay out and whether they could put the loan back to New Century whom I'm assuming was the originator.

 

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 21:14 | Link to Comment illyia
illyia's picture

we are confident that absolutely nobody will ever go to jail "on this one" or any other one for that matter.

but, then again, they may be burned alive...

Thu, 05/05/2011 - 22:13 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

I love the supposed authenticity of banks. Stamp it sideways and its good.

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 00:29 | Link to Comment PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

It's a two level justice system: one level for bankers and for for the Hoi Poloi who actually go to jail.

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 02:02 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

if they need bank statements, time to create a credit union for strippers..  call it..

C.U.N.T.S     Credit Union of National Tramps and Strippers

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 08:45 | Link to Comment GoldmanBaggins
GoldmanBaggins's picture

+10

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 07:20 | Link to Comment just_looking
just_looking's picture

Looks like the bankers were saying no, and the mortgage broker kept pushing.

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 22:16 | Link to Comment Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

"I had her primary and three investment properties" In other words, most of the money was for investment or rental properties that had a certain rental income. What would be the rent on nearly $1,000,000 worth of real estate? Shouldn't that income be included?

Fri, 05/06/2011 - 22:14 | Link to Comment Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

"I had her primary and three investment properties" In other words, most of the money was for investment or rental properties that had a certain rental income. What would be the rent on nearly $1,000,000 worth of real estate? Shouldn't that income be included?

Sun, 05/08/2011 - 17:55 | Link to Comment Meatier Shower
Meatier Shower's picture

"So she mails cash out to pay her bills? Those envelopes could get heavy full of small $ bills."

I suppose these geniuses have never heard of a money order.......

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