How Europe Can Eat Its Cake And Have It Too: Hiking Rates As The EFSF Goes Into Overdrive

Tyler Durden's picture

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mynhair's picture

EFSF = European Foundation of Stupid Fucks.

dlmaniac's picture

MOPE goes global, bitchez.

StychoKiller's picture

I've never been stupid enough to stomp on the gas & brake pedals at the same time, especially on an ice-covered road!

disabledvet's picture

The claim by Trichet is "oil prices are too high" as his reason to raise rates.  Isn't this what some guy by the name of Greenspan tried and resulted in some "Mad Money" guy screaming "they're NUT'S!" live on CNBC?  And of course when "the Mad Money guy" screamed this "that was speculative" since "the economy (sic) was doing great at the time."  How can anyone claim "the collapse in Europe is speculative" now that we know Belgium got 30 plus billion from our Fed?  Unless of course "gold was the collateral."  Just speculating of course.

koeleköpke's picture

That's maybe the reason why a fucking belgian VLD-parliament member called Mr. Tommelein (a liberal not a socialist) wants to sell the Belgian 200 T gold (at these "all times high " prices) stored with the Fed NY. 

Cleanclog's picture

Sorry to say again . . . QE3 will be buying Sov. debt and munis.  Can't let banks and pension funds fail.  Can't let Portuguese, Spanish, Hungarian, Italian, Californian, Oakland, Texan, Chicagoan debt have service costs rise 500 bps.   More debt will be issued to "fix" the problem of too much debt.  It would be funny if it weren't so absurd.  

tony bonn's picture

this is a solution which only a chairsatan could invent...

fuck you bernanke...

RobotTrader's picture

Like I said.

Everything is going to get monetized or bailed out.

It is the only solution.

Particularly when the world looks in amazement at The Bernank's ability to sky the SPX 100% in a scant 2 years with horrid economic fundamentals.

Printing and flipping electronic digits has proven to be the magic elixir for any and all financial convulsions.

kengland's picture

Who's the largest holder of Portuguese debt?

disabledvet's picture

my understanding is Spanish Banks "and by extension Germany itself"--although it sure looks like the ECB now.  I mean "the line in the sand is Spain" yes, yes?  Meaning "bank bailouts European style" of course.  There have been no actual "bailouts of the States themselves."  Good question.

kengland's picture

Margin call on Spain then?

Yardfarmer's picture

CreditAgricole, SocGen, and other French financials hold over $10 billion.

RobotTrader's picture

What is amazing is that no matter how low or cheap these PIIGS stocks go, there are always swarms of speculative locusts ready to pounce on these stocks to make a quick 70% gain.

Just goes to show you how in today's world, virtually every trick will be attempted in order to "make your year" so you can spend the rest of the summer out at The Hamptons.

MarketTruth's picture

Robo, with your looks and brains, are you telling us you don't spend the summer in the Hamptons? i'll gladly invite you over for our normal weekend party. All those great trades you talk about, surely you must have a few acres with a modest home of your own. Right?

Ferg .'s picture

Ugh , AIB . I have relatives who bought ( and unfortunately still own ) this garbage back in 06-07 when it was trading at/near record highs .

mdwagner's picture

It's not possible to stop QE without the US government defaulting, IMO.  We'll probably see state and city QE next.

I know, silver bitches and BTFD.

mynhair's picture

No, an end to QE just means most of the Lib voters will die in the street.

falak pema's picture

prost and goulash soup for all!

MachoMan's picture

Goddamnit Tyler, you can have your cake and then eat it...  you're better than that...  you just can't eat your cake and then have it...

The Count's picture

And now for something completely different:

Who else thinks that ABC News' Martha Raddatz is starting to look rediculous when she dons a helmet and body armor and reports from Afghanistan? I mean, she looks like a freakin grandma that pooped in her pants. Ever see her smile...? Add to that the not really young looking anchor and the program just looks silly. And hey, I am a senior citizen myself!



magpie's picture

It should be good fun to have two "good" and "bad" Central banks at the same time. Swap them around, maybe have some Doppelgänger laughs, lose some bonds, print and repo back and forth - learning the tricks from Maestro the Great Depression Professor.

mightybillfuji's picture

And lets be clear. Every member of the pigs is Also a member of the efsf. Each of them is now EVEN MORE INDEBTED as they own percentages of the Portugal would be a great zerohedge article to show how many billions each piig owes now to Portugal at an 80 billion number

mynhair's picture

So, when does the EUR jump up?

thatthingcanfly's picture

I'm just stoked I'm not the only one who knows it's "eat your cake and have it," vice "have your cake and eat it."

<wipes tear from eye, stifles audible sob>

MachoMan's picture

Actually, the title was updated after a quick flogging by me, see above. 

BlackholeDivestment's picture

After reading through this bullshit, there is no doubt what is upon the alter. This is about the sacrifice of the individual, independence, freedom, liberty and justice for all. The entire offer upon this generation is an offer to sustain  tyranny and corruption. This neo-world order Europa ''ConTRAPtion'' is not going to saddle the beast and ride accross the bridges of Babylon to security. ''The Ghost And The Darkness'' remains. Deep Capture rules this criminal global market both night and day. The clueless murdering bastard ECB Euro Peons are pathetic, entrapped theives, robbed of intelligence and they are not alone. 

  Europa, she's ah drunka off of da market cup of ''BTFD''! I see her image on the 2002 Greek Two Euro coin The combination of that old saying, ''like a two dollar whore'' and that Revelation scripture,  makes you go hmmm?

News flash, the whore riding the beast was known as Ishtar in Babylon, before it became fallen, and that saddle was on a man eater. 

 Communist China PIIGS love Barack Hussein of Babylon now but, they might ''change'' their mind if they new about his favorite 80's beer. Crack and Old E never measured up to European standards but, Europa is to drunk to escape what is now written upon the King of Babylon's wall?

Ahmeexnal's picture

Major war is about to break out between EU members.

It's already priced in. BTFD!!

Itsalie's picture

All the talk of EFSF of 440b euro, but check out its website link below. So far it has only issued 5b euro of bonds and disbursed just 3.6b euros. Either they are getting insufficient demand from the PIIGS (which means the PIIGS are doing better than advertised - so why then is Portugal surrendering?) or their bookrunners Citi/HSBC/Socgen are having a tougher time selling more bonds than they are letting us know.

Anyway the first 5b euros had 9 times more bids than the issue size with japan finally buying 20% of whole issue (yes, the yield was low 2.89% but better than toilet paper yields). Yet since January they have stopped issuing more EFSF, aka 3 months of silence. And Portugal will need 5b euros next week, and another big chunk in June. So why is Mr Regling the EFSF CEO so busy rebutting the FT for calling the EFSF a huge CDO (aka Ponzi scheme) yet doing nothing to raise money for PIIGS?

ak_khanna's picture

All the Euro strength of the last couple of weeks is dependent on whether ECB raises interest rates on Euro today and commits to raise them in the next few ECB meetings. If the ECB does raise interest rates today they screw the weaker euro economies like Greece, Ireland, Iceland, Portugal etc. as their cost of borrowing goes up. If they do not raise the interest rates then there will be substantial Euro weakness.  Keep in mind that the stronger countries in the Eurozone, the Germans and French want a weaker Euro which will boost their exports to the rest of the world.


Urban Redneck's picture

Raising rates & increasing monetization

one little formula change

QE^ to QE∞

Trichet is a socialist out to save the single EMU at any cost.