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How To Launch A Massive Hedge Fund Fraud?
Two environments seem to boost the efforts of small investors either to trade full time, or to launch their own hedge funds:
1. Bear markets (no one has a job anyhow).
2. Bull markets (anyone can do it!)
Fortunately, Clusterstock has put together a handy guide on "How To Launch A Hedge Fund."
Fortunately, or unfortunately, slide number six "Build the team" and bearing the advice "For example, Turn Key would recommend two accounting firms, Kaplan & Company in Chicago and Acquavella, Chiarelli, Shuster, Berkower & Co. in New York and New Jersey, and the Caymans" appears to depict an attorney (or recently victorious prosecutor) talking to a convict, complete with last-name-printed-on-the-breast bright orange shirt, handcuffs, choppy prison haircut and downcast eyes.
What, exactly, is Clusterstock trying to tell us?
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What, exactly, is Clusterstock trying to tell us?
That they are copy/paste, 17th tier moronic " journalists ". That blog is a waste of bandwidth and money. Blodget is a moron and should be in jail for his ML days.
And that Thiel is apparently short on moolah and needs some gulible people do ramp up his funds.
"Blodget is a moron and should be in jail for his ML days"
No kidding. I can think of few people in the mainstream with less credibility, and that's saying something for the financial media. I always hoped the Internet would bring about a time when idiots were constantly confronted with their own inadequacy and weren't allowed to continually reinvent themselves in order to screw more people. And yet Blodgy Boy's lack of both morals and basic financial intelligence is out the for all to see, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Blodget , and he still runs one of the most viewed financial sites out there. Owe well.
nd he still runs one of the most viewed financial sites out there
well, not really, just check the number of reads under every article; it's pretty pathetic, and most of the people that comment there ( avg. 4.5 per article ) make fun of him and that pathetic little blog. Everything else in your post is + 100000
Since I post on that site almost daily I would have to say that is exactly how it is.
He must read Zero Hedge, since they have just changed the photo in slide #6
Blodget is a moron and should be in jail for his ML days.
clearly, he is a complete dick.
he's not a dick; just blatantly stupid.
he's a dick.
Now, now children, let's just agree on him being a stupid dick shall we.
My stupid dick finds that offensive
The Swiss, such compromisers.
No, no, no! We need President Bambam to appoint a "stupid dick" czar, and then he can decide.
+1000
"'Stupid Dick' czar"... That's goddamn funny shit, KevinB!
DH - If he is, he is a pinky finger wave salute. Blodget, the poster boy for LDS. (No, not the Mormons)
I think I would take my accounting advice from the Aquavelva office in New jersey. Good aftershave, too.
I prefer Brute myself. :>)
It looks like someone from project mayhem assisted with the photo!
Shot across the bow, methinks. More serious armaments to arrive shortly, probably with a wicked tracking system (MPS - Marla Positioning System) before they make contact. ;-)
So was the after hours ramp this evening for show in response to Intel's beat, or to protect against the response to tomorrow's retail numbers?
Blodget. LOL.
(There's nothing else to say)
Clusterstock or Clusterf*dge (you can substitute dge also with ck)? The site is down now...
Um I a little have video from Nigeria (pipes, petrol, old tires and matches) and how they deal with problems like this. All I need is a dark room, top self vid/audio, jumbo sized bottle of tomato sauce, dim lights and roll video, spray liberal amounts of sauce all over the joint, then snap lights on, revealing the horror reflected in their own minds in each others gaze and presto all will be forth coming.
Hell send the hole mob my way, every reptilian sob that thought they were above it all. For those that have desensitized them selves via outings at their favorite house of pain *local or international* (friends partner used to be a Dominatrix before settling down, list of clients is long and noteworthy, the price of indifference in power-positions sure does take its toil eh!), I will take orienteering through the beautiful countryside of Swat Valley dressed up as crusaders and carrying banners proclaiming *man love rules OK* aka Top Gear episode in Alabama. Insertion will be via G-5A Galaxy pop and bang low level 500ft drop (cardio exercise is important to your good health and has be shown to increase libido..eh) once upon the ground happy meals will be distributed locally door to door in a heart and mind campaign, with the plastic toy being one of the last presidents since Roosevelt (start of the strategic national security policy) and any scum bag see above: in an love embrace with popular regional Prophets.
This little party will be dubbed the *Aristocrats go camping*
Skippy...the classic joke...three religious figures faced with mob man love or death by indigenous people...two being of Abrahamic faith choose man love by the mob and barely live...where the Buddhist chooses death and perceives reincarnation, there by escaping befoulment...wait for it...the chief says OK!......but first the man love mob....then death! aka the Aristocrats go preaching.
PS. ready to receive TDs/Marlas boot of love, really ppls the actors in this little game are cowards once stripped of their shields or circumvention of the shields and they weep like children when confronted, under no circumstances should you enable them with your fear or dread of their actions to diminish you.
Crazy is its own boot of love. It needs no help from us.
easy on the acid there captain ...
Sooooo Skippy. Whatcha doin?
Oh, and be careful, too much exercise can hurt your libido. Damn, probably shouldn't have said that.
Looks like another short hitting the wall.
PS: CAPTCHA sucks.
Jeff Macke = skippy.
I had to think about it. I saw him blow weird on air once. But it had some insane kind of sense to it. That really works aldousd.
The cayman islands. It's like a corruption spawning ground where thousands of lawyers and bankers shoot corrupted spunk through enough internet bandwidth for a continent.
I would think the only thing you need to do is run for senate.
Oh... you mean start?
I still challenge you guys, why don't people buy America?
Why do you invest overseas and make our dollar weak?
Do you love your country? Sick of Big Oil?
Why the fuck do you own their stock then?
I say launch a corporate takeover and buyout America's debt.
Stop giving it to the Communists.
hey Marla, start up the music feed!
In all seriousness, my frivolity aside (years spent with a TS/crypto clearance, association with all manner of genial Polly's and Elite members of society, and too many tree landings/dragged across DZs, things going boom next to my head *our shit not theirs* have left me with a dark sense of humor) the fight does not reside only in the vagary's of economics or their handlers, be it politician or CEO, the real fight is with the legacy bond holders.
I personally respect ZH for its reasonably un-filtered assessments of the investing landscape in near real time Intel, you are voracious in apatite. My only caveat would be that this fight is historical in nature and not a product of weird science gone horribly wrong. To only speak of the wrongs committed now and not all the other trespasses against our forefathers considering the gift they bequeathed upon us *a Republic* and as Ben said *as long as you can hold it*.
Skippy...come on now the critical thinking shown here alludes to me, even bigger better things from this blog other than wealth, for what is wealth with out freedom...adue
Me thinks Skippy is looking at current events as the 3d & 4th derivative rather than looking for the 3d & 4th derivative from here. Solid foundation there. Indeed Anon, there are many ways to communicate.
Remember, freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
I would never go back now for any amount of money. Miles Kendig
Maybe skippy's message is some kind of code. Could it be about this?
http://www.blacklistednews.com/news-5933-0-11-11--.html
Anyone on ZH care to comment about the content on www.deepcapture.com? I just finished the Story of Deep Capture by Mark Mitchell, and found it an intriguing read to say the least. Many similar names, people, and places pop up in the narrative. Can ZH specifically comment on the likes of people such as James Chanos and Whitney Tilson and there appearance in such a document? I have scanned through the archives here a bit and found a few mentions here and there from the likes of Cheeky Bastard and such, and Tyler mentioned it way back on 5/3/09, but all in all not too much about www.deepcapture.com. Willing to take the flame if I'm not working hard enough on this one. Interpreting many of the comments by some ZH posters around here in the context of the Mitchell story is rather disturbing. Any comments?
yo Altan; the stories which are on deep capture were discussed in depth here on ZH in the past few months. I think that i was in July that we had a 200+ comments discussion on Dendreon and the role of today's mega hedge fund managers in shorting of Dendreon stock. Also, there was a discussion about various segments of the market which allowed for the perpetrators of those crimes to go unscattered, and not just that, but to rise into prominence after the Dendreon carnage they put fort. If you look into the archives of ZH really really really hard you will find that thread and the comments underneath it. I'm not sure what the name of the thread is; but it was posted in late July/early August.
Thanks for the lead Cheek. Spent a lot of last night trying to comb the archives and find some stuff, but I must have been too out of it. The early piece in May that Tyler submitted is there, but goddamn I wish we could sort the results chronologically in the advanced search function (ehem, Marla!). I haven't gone back and read everything yet but revelation is near up on. Mike Milken is a very interesting character. One whose heart I would like to devour whole in my hand while it still beats. Anyone else think that these short squeeze rallies we have seen since march could be on the back on phantom stock to help create the squeeze? I'm not even sure how it would work, it just seems like a logical next step.
Altan - It is possible that the recent decision to actually enforce the law related to the ban on naked short selling has created upward pressure in the markets. If you think about it, the ability to not deliver the shares was literally a way to print money by just shorting massive amounts of shares you didn't have and at some point in the future buying it back. Demonic really, and it could suggest that now that you actually need capital and available shares to short (that are not called in at the worst time) that the real capital is going to be employed on the long side. Couple that with 401k money flowing into the markets and fed liquidity chasing too few company shares, and what you have is what we have.
Who the hell edits the stories for this "Clusterstock" site? A cursory glance around a few recent news stories already implies that they don't know the difference between Hank Paulson and John Paulson, and think that Ken Griffin is "Ken Griffith".
here are some of their more memorable articles
http://www.businessinsider.com/did-gold-traders-stage-a-bear-raid-on-the-us-dollar-2009-10
http://www.businessinsider.com/john-carney-why-naked-shorting-isnt-really-that-different-from-regular-short-selling-the-two-cows-version-2009-9
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-banning-naked-credit-default-swaps-would-crush-credit-markets-2009-7
http://www.businessinsider.com/ivanka-trump-is-weirdly-smart-2009-2
i think this will suffice
One can not do anything except laugh at the idiots over at Clusterfu .... uh ... i mean Clustestock
And Blodget is a retarded little bitch who should be serving Bubba, with a complimentary hole, everyday in prison ....
sarc?
Did they mean for that article to be taken seriously? That wasn't tongue in cheek? Pick a good name and the right team of offshore accountants and lawyers? That's it? Egad.
Read my latest comment on deporting alpha. Even though portable alpha strategies got hit, pension funds are still hot & horny over hedge funds. Too bad they don't realize that most of them are charging alpha fees for what is essentially leveraged beta. How to launch a hedge fund? These two guys discuss the topic, a must watch, especially the part where they discuss picking the right name like the "enhanced leveraged structured credit fund"!
"enhanced leveraged structured credit fund" Bwwhaaahaaa Classic Leo. WhoT!
With folks with the quality of Blodget running wild no wonder it is so easy to sucker "institutional inwestors" out of billions. What a way for the fed to push the institutional side to pump billions into the stupendously stupid idea of reigniting the shadow banking system to its former glory by making Beta seem like Alpha in a ZIRP world. Support the program, provide adequate funding, the fed & treasury provide the risk free leverage and endless liquidity, walk the chalk line and there is paper in them thar hills. What a racket!
Just don't forget to pick up a 3 for 3 suit special that include shirts, ties, socks & belts for those CNBC appearances you cube dwellers out there who are reading this.
how did you miss this ?
http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/10092009/watch.html
US Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D-OH) is talking to Bill Moyers about the state of the economy. She claims it's a "Financial Coup D'Etat"
ht mish global econ
POTY
This is what gave the Hedge Fund industry a bad name. Hedge Fund pioneers such as Soros, Tudor Jones, Louis Bacon pretty much invented macro investing across borders.
In the last ten years, as with any investment (buy-to-let) the rewards just attract the 25 year old 'low hanging fruit' who raise money for a fund off the back of 2 years bull market trading at a bank. It also attracts the sharks and the bolier room scamsters.
We used TURN KEY hedge funds when we first started our fund. They SUCKED!!! Customer service was terrible, and the paperwork they put out was crappy. The accounting firm KAPLAN was also less than stellar. Just a guess, but things around there got really sketchy right around the Madoff debacle and employees started leaving!! Coincidence??
Not that it matters much, but the article is a paid product-placement ad from http://www.turnkeyhedgefunds.com/, the outfit promising to "provide an easy, efficient and economical "Turnkey" process for starting a hedge fund". I think the picture in question was supposed to suggest that if you don't want to end up with an orange wardrobe, you had better secure a top-dollar legal team at the outset...
www.turnkeyhedgefunds.com
I've seen it all, now. They probably give you a complimentary Snuggie and a Sham-Wow for signing on the dotted line.
Unscarred - Don't forget the fully refundable platinum alpha six month trial membership in Pre-Paid Legal, PPD.