This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Human Traders Wake Up....And The NYSE Breaks

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/27/2011 12:53 -0400

New York Stock Exchange

A perfect reminder of what will happen when SkyNet finally faces carbon based competition.

- advertisements -

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:57 | 1212136 Robslob

0 Bid?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:58 | 1212138 Bodhi

John Conner has reprogrammed a terminator. Just waiting in line at the time machine to send him back.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:02 | 1212163 Dreadker

lol just as long as when they crush bernanke in a printing press he doesn't mutter "I'll be back!" (picture a bernanke arm sticking out holding a dollar bill lol)

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:38 | 1212352 EvlTheCat

Maybe what you suggest could be his eternal damnation. That way when he utters the phrase it is more of a punishment to him then the rest of humanity.

Could you imagine being stuck in a ground hog day scenario with Bernanke as the main character, trying to figure out what the right choices are to break the loop? Now that would be a hell on Earth.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 16:43 | 1213514 economoder

I laughed for five minutes. Good job sir.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:58 | 1212142 disabledvet

Maybe it was Dostevsky who said "it's all in the execution."

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:57 | 1212148 Hedgetard55

Barry's COLB lists his father's race as "African"?

So, Ghaddafy, Bam Bam senior and a white Afrikaans born in S. Africa are all the same race?

It's a forgery.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:05 | 1212162 SheepDog-One

If thats the best the CIA can do these days, the spooks have gone WAY down hill!
Africa is a CONTINENT, spooks! Not a race! Obamas father would have been properly identified under race as 'Kenyan'. WOW the dumbing-down has extended well into the best and the brightest.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:31 | 1212309 Stormdancer

Sorry...Kenyan is nationality, not race. In 1961 the "race" box would have read "negro" or "negroid". It wasn't until 1962 that Carleton Stevens Coon's "The Origin of Races" proposed that black African populations were too diverse to be lumped into one classification and divided the "negroid" classification into two racial groups called "Capoid" and "Congoid"

It was not until still later during the civil rights era that groups like the Black Panthers decided that "negro" was a perjorative term and and put forth the term "black" as a descriptor.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:04 | 1212178 fuu

Well actually yes they are all the same race. Human. Moron.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:10 | 1212212 Hedgetard55

If we are all the human race (which I agree with, the concept of race is bogus) then why the classification on the COLB? So fuck you, dickhead.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:20 | 1212263 fuu

Maybe because people still like to use broken classifications for people. See it everywhere. Job applications, DL applications, business applications, etc ad nauseum.

Sorry that I called you a moron though. I just got peeved at the whole 'race' thing. I don't see race anywhere on the biological classification scheme. Surely scientists would use race there if it meant anything at all. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_classification

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:38 | 1212372 Hedgetard55

fuu,

I also apologize to you for my language. Sorry.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 14:10 | 1212574 Lower Class Elite

Civility. Hats off to you both.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 14:19 | 1212622 Bananamerican

on ZH?....surely we live in end times....

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 14:43 | 1212798 chumbawamba

Eighth rule of fight club:

If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

Get on with it, ya pussies.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:04 | 1212917 fuu

But I want to fight you!

Still think you are walstreetpro2 though.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:06 | 1212939 NotApplicable

I loled.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 14:45 | 1212819 chumbawamba

Eighth rule of Fight Club:

If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

Get on with it, ya pussies.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:22 | 1213034 Buzz Fuzzel

The classification is necessary to distinguish the victims from the oppressors, where have you been for the past 50 years?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:11 | 1212203 JW n FL

The Secret Service doesnt know any good forger's... I am sorry there is no logic to that statement.

But on a more serious note...

The FED prints $15 Trillion Dollars... gives Billions to Gadaffi and the birther stance is the best you can offer your fellow Americans?

I hate to be the one to point out that People who fall for the “Dog and Pony Show”.. waste energies on the “Dog and Pony Show”... and thusly perpetuates the “Dog and Pony Show”.. are as good as being dis-information specialists.

something maybe you would like to think thru the next time the Ghetto / Trailer Park Drama starts swirling around in that very deep and well thought brain of yours.

Trump is Trash. Trump is a scumbag who has bankrupted how many corporations? More than Lil Bush did! So that’s a LOT! Trump owes Contractors and Sub Contractors Money from Coast to Coast! He does not pay what he owes and takes pride in screwing people! Sounds perfect for Washington DC.. but the Dumbass Masses prefer someone who is Not so open about being a scumbags.. the People want to be tricked!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 19:40 | 1214145 FIAT_FixItAgainTony

+10

agreed, why even bother with the smoke and mirrors and dog and pony show?

for those that still so dwell....

how much did smoke and mirrors increase your wealth today?

how much did dog and pony show increase your wealth today?

oh, so both answers are NOTHING so why even waste the time on them.

good lord, i've spent too much on it already just writing this !

i've been on the solution trail for just over a year now.

time to gather folks. best place is in the courtrooms.

statutory law has failed since it is unconstitutional anyway.

big money attorneys get clients out of everything because of that fact.

common law is proper procedure now.

a republic, if you can keep it.

count me all in !

constitutional silver bitchez !

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:27 | 1213100 VodkaInKrakow

Please tell me you are a birther. Please. Pretty Please!!!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:59 | 1212149 Mercury

One workstation on the fritz is all it takes to f- things up like this?

What does NYX think it's worth again?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:03 | 1212170 SWRichmond

What were you expecting? Failover? Redundance? That's so '90's.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:08 | 1212185 chumbawamba

It's still running Windows 3.0 with a beta version of Winsock.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:08 | 1212189 SheepDog-One

Yea well Im running a Commodore 64.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:13 | 1212231 rustymason

I'm still looking for a memory expansion chip for my 1980 Sharp 64K calculator because my Atari 400 (with cassette tape backup) is just too slow.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:38 | 1212375 chumbawamba

Amateurs. I'm running out of vacuum tubes to keep my ENIAC running. Fortunately, I have my Difference Engine No. 2 on standby.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 18:10 | 1213864 SWRichmond

Don't they have some kind of cloud or something? Oh shit, that's right, that doesn't work, either.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:25 | 1213061 Sokhmate

Which model? I might have what you'relooking for.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:57 | 1212495 dracos_ghost

Sorry guys, it's was me. I apologize, I passed out trying to carry my laptop.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Compaq_portable.jpg

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 15:32 | 1213125 VodkaInKrakow

CP/M

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:14 | 1212224 AccreditedEYE

What does NYX think it's worth again?

+1 LOL

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:11 | 1212151 TruthInSunshine

ChairSatan Bernank is determined to strengthen real storehouses of wealth - and that does not mean NFLX, when even a quality company like JNJ is hatin' on The Bernank!

JNJ's CEO says not likely to see double digit profits again. Thanks, Bernankincide. LULZ

"I am The Ben Bernank. I am Jack's angry sphincter. And I am Shiva, destroyer of worlds."

04-27 12:46: Johnson & Johnson (JNJ) CEO says does not expect return to double digit profit in near future, does not rule it out over time

04-27 12:40: Fed says it is prepared to adjust securities holdings as needed

04-27 12:39: Fed repeats to keeps rates exceptionally low for an extended period, keeps Fed funds rate in 0 - 0.25% range

04-27 12:37: Fed says increases in energy, commodities has pushed up inflation recently, expects effects to be transitory

04-27 12:36: Fed says inflation has picked up in recent months, however the underlying inflation is subdued

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:00 | 1212155 DavidC

Looks to me, over the last half hour or so, that the bots are just whacking around taking out (short! What does one expect?) stops.

DavidC

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:58 | 1212156 SheepDog-One

No problem, the robots have been spending non trading hours building T-1 terminators.

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:59 | 1212157 The Axe

Oh Tyler...your boy is finally going Full-Bull-RETARD Rosey http://www.cnbc.com/id/42782844 please....combined with all the silver bulls on ZH this should signal a top...lol

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:06 | 1212173 SheepDog-One

Top in what, the dollar?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:59 | 1212158 the not so migh...

HUMANS DETECTED>>>ALERT >>>ALERT!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:06 | 1212172 Threeggg

S&P downgrades Japans Debt ?

Haven't heard a word since it broke last night. ?

Oh well, carry on !

http://www.forexlive.com/183172/all/sp-cuts-japans-debt-rating

P.S. Nikkei was up strong last night ! +133.16

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:07 | 1212181 ArrestBobRubin

Ok, pop quiz: Which is the bigger phony:

the trading

Barack D'oh-bama?

Why didn't some of the "reporters" just go over and suck his dick?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:08 | 1212186 trav7777

Stop the humanoid, stop the intruder

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:13 | 1212215 Shitters_Full

Berserk!

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:22 | 1212280 LFMayor

+1
I should have invested in an arcade back then, and I could have sorted through and gotten all the pre '64s from the till.

who knew?

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:17 | 1212198 Threeggg

One workstation ......................

Must be that old IBM PS/1 that I have been telling them to get the 2121 memory upgrade for.

http://www.memorystock.com/memory/IBMPS1386SXModel2121.html

LOL

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:21 | 1212267 max2205

MBI was moon shooting , then nothing... convient

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 13:24 | 1212276 tedives

Tyler

Per the original Terminator movie, Skynet became self-aware last Wednesday, and Judgement Day was last Thursday (seriously - look it up), so I think Skynet is pretty much a non-issue now.

- Ted

Wed, 04/27/2011 - 14:36 | 1212738 espirit