• Steve H. Hanke
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    Authored by Steve H. Hanke of The Johns Hopkins University. Follow him on Twitter @Steve_Hanke. A few weeks ago, the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) sprang a surprise. It announced that a...

IBM Jumps 2% After Hours After Earnings Beat, Guidance Hike, Despite Margin Miss

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Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:14 | 1185505 kote
kote's picture

lol beet

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:16 | 1185514 luster
luster's picture

an earnings beet.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:16 | 1185512 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"Earnings Beet"! Does that mean that, despite that fact that it was pulled out of some moist brown stuff, it is still a sweet, purple-colored treat?

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:18 | 1185513 oh_bama
oh_bama's picture

DID I TELL THE LOSERS TO BTFD???

HEHE

  • WHAT IF YOU TRUSTED THE FED AND THE GOVERMENT?
    WHAT IF YOU UNDERSTAND DEEPLY WHAT QEs ARE?
  • WHAT IF YOU SUPPORTED THE TROOPS?

IF YOU DID ALL OF ABOVE? YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A TON OF MONEY!!!!!

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:24 | 1185555 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

Not sure if you are sarcastic or not. Or you could distrust everything, have purchased silver, and 'made' a ton of money.

p.s. Please stop shouting.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:18 | 1185518 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Probably means it will be down 5% tomorrow.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:23 | 1185544 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

or now....

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185553 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Happens four times per year.  Not on IBM...but on INTC.  It prints its high right about now, and sells into oblivion the following day, taking the tech trade down with it.  And so the chimps are printing the top and setting the short on it...'nother day, 'nother counterfeit dollar printed, jammed into a bank, fed into a computer, pooled up, jacked in...and scalped.

The New American Marxist/Banker Party would like to thank you for chasing cars.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:46 | 1185649 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

INTC is like a sterile bull. It just sits there and eats people's wealth.

Dead weight on four hoofs.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:55 | 1185672 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Are you sure you're not talking about CSCO?

At least INTC pays a measley dividend.  CSCO is a true black hole.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:17 | 1185744 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Brother Truth,

Was it you or brother Cog...who wrote last qtr that after a $50 run it will be time to short NFLX?  Either way, it looks like tomorrow might be that day.  

As for Intel and Cisco...these names remain hung over from 2001.  It is amazing...but there it is.  The Nasdaq is Apple...period.  Until tomorrow, that is.

Hell of a fake, shitty world...

 

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:24 | 1185771 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Had to have been CogDis.

The easy money in this festering pig of a casino has been made. That writing is on the wall.

When it all burns down again this year, the sheeple who get sheared will get that thousand yard, glazed look in their eyes.

But at least there are fewer of them participating in the parlor vs 3 years ago.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:20 | 1185519 Racer
Racer's picture

Great thing currency destruction for earnings surging past guestimates eh....

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:18 | 1185520 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Dont forget Jnpr, Up $2.00. 

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:22 | 1185530 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Heh, my INTC is skying 6% in the after life.

And so many of you guys were dissing me big time for buying that last week.

LOL.........

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185548 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

take the money and run. the chart looks horrible. but nice trade anyways.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185550 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Great job on INTC....excellent earnings and balance sheet....

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:24 | 1185533 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Short sellers getting creamed after hours.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:30 | 1185568 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

ah dewd, u spoke a little too soon. i'm seeing ibm going red. 163. ooops. something someone said?

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:30 | 1185584 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

No problem, Robo will now just say he sold the top.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:46 | 1185652 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

He bought it at the 09 bottom at just sold about 15% minutes ago before it gapped down...like he does with every stock.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:45 | 1185644 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Short sellers getting creamed after hours.

 

Robo,

What are you talking about?  Assless jeans have not budged.  Burritos...nothin'.  The snap back in steel stocks...oh, what a sickly rally....classic UnicornDew powered move.  

As for the winners, they could not wait even five minutes to sell them...

I'm concerned, Robo.  Are you well today?

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:56 | 1185676 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

In what stock?  IBM?

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 18:05 | 1185907 Twice a Day
Twice a Day's picture

Made a major mistake and inadvertently junked

RT's comment. Will not happen again, 1st time on

this site, very new, sorry.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:24 | 1185536 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Watch it gap down now.

Look at the valuation of IBM - this is more insane than 2007, especially with what there is to look forward to.

Make sure you don't Seven Out, mofos.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:33 | 1185561 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Massive P/E's, eeking out small Special Olympics earnings pole vaults over a bar buried in the ground.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:29 | 1185566 Cdad
Cdad's picture

...and the trade is already over.  Don't you love the New America?

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:28 | 1185574 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Just great...well guys like Robo are impressed.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:38 | 1185615 Cdad
Cdad's picture

You know Dog....if I only had $8 billion from POMO and a super computer co located in the room next to where Duncan Niederauer takes his afternoon dump, I coulda made that sweet trade, too.

Now...three hours of jibber jabber, reverse psycology, we know that you know that we know bobbing and weaving, followed by, "Historically cheap valuations that long term investors should...." yada yada...and bingo...profit!

Who needs a fucking job anymore?  Just print money and give it to me!

The only question regarding DC and this entire mess is...who is going to have the courage to drag Ben Bernanke out of that damn Eccles building...and save the nation.  Everything else is hyperbole.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:51 | 1185661 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Drive by with high pressure fire hoses and evict them like rats!

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:24 | 1185772 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The price of gold alone should inform those who have the power to remove Ben Bernanke from his station.  It is not complicated...like criminal syndicate Wall Street bankers would like to make you think.  

And indeed, a fire hose would be the best method....'cause that would shut down all those co located computers in the room next to where Duncan Niederauer takes his afternoon crap...which would be a nice secondary effect.

 

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:22 | 1185538 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

What's margin compression? Just BTFD....

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:35 | 1185582 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Just another Harvard term that Louis Rukeyser used to throw around back in the Flintstone days that means shit today. You know, Hindenberg Omen, Death cross, EPS, PE. Who cares? BTFD

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:25 | 1185546 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Probably buy some Toyota tomorrow.  That thing is down big from the highs.  Nikkei futures getting bounced hard right now.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:04 | 1185715 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Someone should set up a retail crossing network where we can deal directly and bypass the parasites. I'll gladly take the other side of your trades Robo. Just buzz me everytime you have a brainfart.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185551 Pain Train
Pain Train's picture

Sellin' more calculators, bitchezzz! (Sorry. Longtime reader but first comment. I've been dying to do that.)

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:25 | 1185552 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

Strange they didn't mention all the layoffs that somehow went under the media radar.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:35 | 1185603 max2205
max2205's picture

MCD HIRED 50,000 HOMELESS TODAY...RELAX

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185559 HUGE_Gamma
HUGE_Gamma's picture

Anyone just hear Piper Intel Analyst on Bloomberg? guy was talking silly

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:26 | 1185562 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Probably see a lot of hedge funds take profits in GLD and SLV to chase some of these tech stock screamers bouncing off the lows.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:36 | 1185607 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

You're probably right. And what will happen is GLD and SLV will blip down a nano-fart before continuing their 10 year bull run whilst that shyte you pimp will continue to devalue.  Dont worry though RT , whilst this system is intact there will always be a welfare check for you and a project to move into. Heaven forbid when the system inevitably implodes though - turning tricks for the local mack isnt going to be enough anymore.

Sucker.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:40 | 1185626 The Axe
The Axe's picture

HOLY SLAP SHOT BATMAN    IBM   hit the shithouse....lol

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:00 | 1185695 tmosley
tmosley's picture

I think we'll see a lot more failure and hindsight from you.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 17:10 | 1185729 ZakuKommander
ZakuKommander's picture

The vitriol you unleash for merely commenting on the mentality that drives the markets is undeserved.  

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:30 | 1185572 treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

Takes serious software to keep track of this ponzi.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:33 | 1185585 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Short into this pop right now.   This is a guaranteed slam dunk fade within a week.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:37 | 1185621 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Week?  More like 5 minutes.

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:41 | 1185637 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

No doubt, that was a nice profit if you hit it at 164-165...

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:49 | 1185655 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Youre right , i was working on 2010 timeline. This ponzi is RIP.  The juice is running out boyz. As someone here signs off :

prepare accordingly. 

Tue, 04/19/2011 - 16:34 | 1185591 max2205
max2205's picture

TD somebody read this and slammed it...nice headfake

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