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Inception Letter From Ben Bernanke, CIO Of Federal Reserve Capital, LLC
In addition to the introductory information received on the newly conceived FRC LLC, we have also learned that the fund is rumored to have a lock-up period of 1 millisecond to allow HFT frontrunners to park their securities at FRC LLC, while the traditional 2/20 payment structure will be inverted, with Bernanke paying out 2% on all AUM, and will also pay out an additional 20% to any profit (or loss) generated by the fund for its LPs.
Letter from the CIO of Federal Reserve Capital LLC
Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in June suggests that the economic outlook remains unusually uncertain.
Recently, market participants have become somewhat concerned about how we are going to manage our portfolio. To provide support to mortgage lending and housing markets and to improve overall conditions in private credit markets, we purchased $1.25 trillion of agency mortgage-backed securities and about $175 billion of agency debt. We also bought some treasury bill last year and are doing pretty well on that investment. About 200billion or so of this paper will be maturing by the end of 2011. It seems there are a lot of people out there that are worried about the impact on the economy of our balance sheet shrinking if this cash is not immediately reinvested. We would like to take this opportunity to address those concerns. To be clear, we have no intention of reinvesting this cash in mortgage related assets. With over $1 trillion in excess reserves out there we really don’t see how it would accomplish anything. Instead, we have decided on a new strategy; we think you will like it. We are currently in the process of setting up Federal Reserve Capital LLC. FRC is a multi-strategy market leading diversified fund. FRC invests across all assets classes.
As our mortgage investments mature, we will use the cash proceeds to seed FRC. FRC will then go out and buy S&P 500 futures, wheat, etf’s, leaps, reit paper, speculative biotech stocks, BRIC assets, and anything else you can think of. The Fund’s mandate is to be long only-everything- anywhere on earth.
Oh, if you want to front run us, we will commence buying tomorrow as we already have secured a credit line from the FRBNY against upcoming maturities.
-Ben Bernanke, CIO
h/t Y
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The LLC is a nice touch.
For the Fed, it's an NLC.
I think you can figure that out.
Nice!
Well done, assetman.
Noooooooo!!!...LOL.
Ernest: Hang on! This'll make profits for these guys, where's our cut? Get Tony to pay this guy a visit.
Net Long Everything - EXCEPT the USD. You forgot that one point, Ben.
+1
They should add a disclaimer section which states that the FRN's that they issue may be subject to severe depreciation. However, that should, in no way, be taken as a vote of no confidence in FRC LLC.
India Times is running this as a "story"--- http://1click.indiatimes.com/article/095ognI3Yf6S4?q=Ben+Bernanke
ROFLMAO
LOL! Brilliant!
Fantastic!!! +100 - Would love to see the Fed be forced to make a statement regarding this article -
The Yes Men should get in on this one.
Is today April 1st? Because if it is not, I think the Fed is beginning to panic.
Coffee machine is broken at work this morning...this is sarcastic correct? The writing seems too coloquial/honest, but at this point in the charade nothing would surprise me.
Do I have to co-locate?
It can mature ... it is quite different to actually collect. Does default ring any bells?
Oh, I forgot you own the printing presses.
Dang, FRC,LLC is GOOD!
Welcome to the new paper....
Tyler, once again you had me laugh out loud at work - most brokerage/investment firms have a celebrity spokesperson - who, in your opinion, should be the spokesperson for the Federal Reserve Capital LLC? I was thinking Lindsay Lohan -
Yes has to be fake, the writing is too coloquial, but it is in good humor.
Problem is the sentence where it said they'll buy anything long, exactly what they did during the great depression, bought wheat like nobodys biz, price still went down.
Version Two Inception Letter:
Dear FOMC Members,
As you know, due to President Obama's recent epiphany, all US Treasuries have been declared to be cash.
Given the liquid nature of Treasuries in the past, unfortunately the conversion process has not been disruptive to general markets nor changed the money supply.
Also, the conversion process has removed the income stream for the Federal Reserve and we will no longer be needing the services of the FOMC. Thank you so much for your tireless efforts over the years.
In the future, the Federal Reserves plans to assist in whatever way it can to mange the surplus resulting from the 23% of the federal budget that formerly went to paying interest on the national debt.
Warmest Regards,
Ben B.
good one
if only reality weren't exactly this
Updated DOW daily chart:
http://stockmarket618.wordpress.com
There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration.I read and understand the entire article and I really enjoyed it to be honest.
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