Interpol Issues International Arrest Warrant For Julian Assange For "Sex Crimes"

Tyler Durden's picture

Per, Interpol has just issued an international arrest warrant for Julian Assange. The offense listed: SEX CRIMES. And somehow Interpol does not have access to the Internet and is unable to pull an image of the wanted criminal. Unclear if Ben Bernanke will follow suit in the same Sex Crime category for repeated involuntary fornication with the world's middle class. In other news, we are now taking odds on a dramatic, globally televized slow speed chase on a California highway in Julian Assange's future?

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Rainman's picture

Only one person got fukked and he'll get a hundred years.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Not if he makes to Ecuador and his buddy Rafael Correa first.

living on the edge's picture

Gutsy play, I hope he makes it there and releases the info on the bank.

Arius's picture

he probably might want to consider moving the date of the release a bit earlier...

goldmiddelfinger's picture

Silly wabbit. he can't move his own pwison welease date

Sabremesh's picture

If they don't welease Woderwic, I'll scweam and I'll scweam, so there.

Croesus's picture

"Who is this Woderwick, to whom you weefer?"


"He's a Wobber"

"And a Waypist"



Fish Gone Bad's picture

This is just like Orwell's 1984.  Among all the crimes that people plead guilty to, they have to throw in being a homosexual, and knowingly passing on venereal disease(s).

Oh regional Indian's picture

The verisimilitudeousness betwixt 1984 the book and 2010 the year is actually quite stunning.

It gets worse when you realize that 1984 was actually meant to be 1954.

Put the first 2 and next 3 together and suddenly you have a rather wind-warping experience. Something that feels funny, maybe like a Margollen fibre "alive" under your skin.

Strange world indeed.



TwistedSys's picture

That's it. I am getting my "Free Assange" t-shirt tonight.

Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

Bloomberg is reporting that Julian was attending a Republican fund raiser in the men's room of Terminal 4 at LAX.  They were passing some notes under the stalls, and one inadvertently landed on the foot of a security guard.  


tmosley's picture

Have you ever noticed how you have never once said anything worthwhile?

You aren't Stephen Colbert.  Stop pretenting you are.

Dr. Sandi's picture

You aren't Stephen Colbert.  Stop pretenting you are.

I'd like to point out that there IS NO Stephen Colbert. Just this guy pretending to be him on TV, 4 nights a week.

hbjork1's picture

Dr. Sandi,

"I'd like to point out that there IS NO Stephen Colbert. Just this guy pretending to be him on TV, 4 nights a week."

Really?  Where did you get that story?

Red Neck Repugnicant's picture



Don't start with me, fartface.

I'll barbecue you like I always do.

Last week, you - quite ridickerously - told everyone that you had the cure for both cancer and HIV, and if your work wasn't so pivotal to society you would leave the United States.  In reality, you're nothing but a lab assistant researching tooth plaque.  


cuckoo cuckoo

Outrageous delusions of grandiosity is one of the hallmarks of opiate addiction. Either you've got a penchant for afghan tar balls, or you're just another internet douche bag with superman dreams.     

As soon as you retract your I have the cure for cancer bullshit, I'll reveal my identity. 


tmosley's picture

I see.  So you DIDN'T talk with Dr. Spallholtz.  You fucking liar.

I am not the one who developed either of those two products, though I have been pushing for more resources for their development and testing.

We have a cure for PROSTATE cancer, and a METHOD for developing others.  We do in fact have a product that targets the CD4 protein on the HIV that works well enough to disable both the virus and infected cells.  You have no idea what you are talking about.  You're nothing more than a half-baked Stephen Colbert impersonator.

Edit: and since you are so stupid, I thought I would post a picture for you:

That is us curing a mouse of cancer.  Have a nice day :)

hbjork1's picture


Very interesting post.  Is any comment available on how the selenium works?

tmosley's picture

It is a catalyst that produces short lived superoxide radicals that travel about the length of a bacterial cell before being neutralized.  This means you can coat a surface with selenium, and in the presence of oxygen and thiols (these are available from the bacteria themselves), and you get a surface that is immune to colonization by any type of cell.  This is convenient for medical devices, obviously, but also a legion of industrial applications.

Have a look around that website.  There is a lot of good stuff there.

Rick64's picture

 Wish you all the best for your research. A worthy purpose.

chopper read's picture

no doubt this turkey, RR, is sitting in a cubicle somewhere, and since he gets pistol whipped by his boss, needs to take it out on us. 

Calmyourself's picture

Hey, did you find Obammy's college transcripts yet?  How about anything the empty suit ever wrote as editor of the Harvard law Review?  No, not yet, how about this GWB had a higher GPA than the watermelon Goracle..


i-dog's picture

Don't feed the troll. Just junk her and move on.

chopper read's picture

always do.  he's a bitter little 'dumbo-crap', isn't he?  

...still playing into the 'divide and conquer' of the ruling elite.  

Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

I'm bitter?  Are you kidding me?  I spend my entire time on ZeroHedge laughing. And when I'm not here, I'm out living life and enjoying it.  

You guys are the most humorless, bitter, cynical, overly pessimistic, psychotic, overly dramatic losers I've ever encountered in my life. 

tmosley's picture

There's a kind of sick desperation in your laughter.

chopper read's picture

i actually have faith that he'll come around eventually.  theres nothing more enlightening then the pleasure of being proven wrong, if one can see it. 

Calmyourself's picture

Just so stupid, thought process a millimeter deep, tough not to poke with a stick..  I shall attempt to let my better angels rule..

Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

Hey i-dog

What's your delusion?  Are you a bunker dweller?  Are you an ammo hoarder?  Canned food specialist?

Wait a minute.  I know.  9/11 was an inside job, right?  Yep, that's it.  

cuckoo cuckoo

MurderNeverWasLove's picture

 OK. Right now I'm thinking total setup. Everyone of import had foreknowledge, and here's my kicker -- if I were running this operation, I'd script it like all this. I'm thinking that actually the USG is the big winner. It's a clever operation. A sort of weapon of mass propaganda. It's taking the whole diplomatic business to the big show, with juicy tabloid stuff, orgies and fetishes, and the old smuggle the guns in with the Bibles, and condom-busting sex scandals bad enough to phone up inter pull. The making of the folk hero ploy is working a charm with ass-anger and Uber Laudenum.


Think of what a kick it would be to let a world full of leaders in on the fun, by letting them write their own legends, and get to feign all sorts of outrage. Thing of the utility and entertainment value one could get out of such a setup. To me, it's all pretty rich, and since there will be very few who actually dig through all of it with a clue about what's going on, some newly discovered tidbit suddenly sparks whatever.

Ass anger just another operative.  Total distraction from what the reality of the situation is.  He and his girlies are in.


The bank play is probably cover that could yield some clemency for a soon to be tits-up bank.

caconhma's picture

"Interpol work focuses primarily on public safety, terrorismorganized crimecrimes against humanityenvironmental crimegenocidewar crimespiracyillicit drug production, drug traffickingweapons smugglinghuman traffickingmoney launderingchild pornographywhite-collar crimecomputer crimeintellectual property crime and corruption."

How come there is no single Interpol office in the USA? We have here everything they are looking for. So, where are they?

It appears that this fucking world went really mad! I've never heard before that  criminals can sue witnesses for violating their privacy by giving true and honest testimonies.

As for the freedom of speech in the USA and EU, it is an ancient and forgotten history.

Stuart's picture

Yup, not going to call total BS yet on these charges but for them to come out now, AFTER he's clearly pissed off key Govt officials around the world, gimme a freakin' break.  If he did commit these crimes, why were they not pursued earlier.   It smells like a total setup to put him out of business.  Problem is, it'll backfire HUGE, unbelievably, unimaginably HUGE.  They'll make a hero out of him.  

Julia's picture

I will take good care of him. He just needs to come to me and I will hide him from that nasty Interpol in my beautiful Colombian breasts from all who try to hunt him down. 

LiquidBrick's picture

I need a hiding spot too.  Your coordinates?


Julia's picture

How much money do you have my pretty brick or are you just the right size to pleasure me?

King_of_simpletons's picture

It is always 'sex' that throws an activist,  a do-gooder in jail on some made up carnal charge. Memo to future activists: Cut your cocks and freeze it in a nitrogen canister when you go about "activating". 

BTW OT, this is the great Chinese hoax I was talking about earlier in another thread:

Cornubot's picture

Well, yes. Assange has admitted to having had sex with a lot of swedish girls while in Sweden. In one interview he couldn't recall which girls the allegations of molestation and rape were about, because he apparantly had sex with too many girls in a short time.

In Sweden you (ie if you're a woman) can retroactively charge a man with rape if he wasn't good enough and you have regrets. In this case two of the women got in contact with each oother and got a bit disappointed that they weren't the only ones who screwed Assange. So they pressed charges. 

Assange fled the country, apparantly having been caught with his pants down. One of the allegations is supposed to be that he did something he said he wouldnt, ie "I promise not to....", but did it anyway. That will be rape or molestation in Sweden.

Anyway, Assange uses his fame from his ego-show Wikileaks to fuck girls. No surprises there.

Cluebat for foreigners visiting Sweden. Don't fuck the girls. In the end you will be fucked. We're not as liberal sexually in Sweden as you are led to believe.

As for Assange warning about "there will be attempts of entrapment", that was just his way of trying to look good, very well knowing that he leads a very promiscous sex life and eventually someone will be "not satisfied". It is also doubtful that CIA/whatever has recruited a 20-something, and a leading politician in the socialist christian movement in Sweden, who is one of the women who pressed charges for molestation (but not rape). 

DocLogo's picture

this is the same bull shit they used to try and discredit scott ritter

molecool's picture

... or Elliott Spitzer. Yeah yeah - he did it - but I'm sure a good portion of the U.S. Congress has been hiring strippers on many occasions. The story is the same - some people wanted him gone and that was the one way they could take him out.

GoinFawr's picture

'they' tried the ol' Honey Pot gambit on Ralph Nader too

Bananamerican's picture

It's an oldie but a goodie....not a very imaginative crowd are they?

New_Meat's picture

who needs imagination?  You can't swindle an honest man. - Ned

midtowng's picture


I had forgotten about that. Thanks for remembering. Anyone who says anything inconvienent will be either a "sex offender" or a "terrorist".

Widowmaker's picture

National security for suckers is tough business.

Time for my daily crotch scan.

StychoKiller's picture

Knee-jerk reaction to bad (in this case, embarrassing) news:  Shoot the messenger (in this case, accuse messenger of a sex crime, the most hideous of all [really hard to get people to believe in cannibalism these day, apparently]).

Rylie's picture

Google has removed from the news search, Youtube has removed the Alex Jones channel today as well. 

Great day for Free Speach

Rylie's picture

Google News Feeds has nothing infowars used to come up as one of the Top feeds now nothing anywhere, also he posted a video last night on, Look for Alex Jones Channel on Youtube.

edited: Sorry typo

Winston Smith 2009's picture

"Only one person got fukked"

Yeah, him. Probably a fabricated incident.

sgt_doom's picture

From a most informative article below, which everyone appears to have forgotten:,00.shtml

"STOCKHOLM (Radsoft) — The internal affairs division of the Swedish police found that the entire dossier on the Assange case was leaked to the media. The Chancellor of Justice along with the 'IAD' are now going to pursue the matter in an attempt to find out who broke the law"

"The Chancellor's office says the police were contacted 28 August by Aftonbladet editor in chief Jan Helin who told them he had access to the complete dossier of the Assange case - something Helin today denies."


"The Aftonbladet leak becomes the third leak in the Assange case. Maria Kjellstrand of the prosecutor's office was responsible for the first when she - without legal backing - verified all details in the case with the tabloid Expressen.

The second leak occurred shortly after Assange's one and only interview with the police where he specifically demanded (and received) guarantees from the authorities that there would be no further leaks - and especially not to Expressen.


" 'The only victim here is me', Assange told the AFP in a telephone interview today. 'These accusations are baseless, and the process by which they've come out is disturbing.' "

'This entire rape investigation has been conducted without my input. No one has asked me any questions regarding the rape case. The police refuse to say if there is a warrant out for me or not.'