Irish Stress Test Results, And Full Irish Financial Measures Programme Report

Tyler Durden's picture

And so the Irish bank sector is about to nationalized.

  • IRISH REGULATOR SAYS FOUR BANKS NEED EU24 BLN MORE CAPITAL
  • BANK OF IRELAND NEEDS TO RAISE 5.2B EUROS OF NEW CAPITAL
  • IRISH LIFE NEEDS TO RAISE 4 BILLION EUROS, CENTRAL BANK SAYS
  • EBS NEEDS TO RAISE EU1.5 BLN IN CAPITAL, REGULATOR SAYS
  • ALLIED IRISH BANKS NEEDS TO RAISE EU13.3 BLN IN CAPITAL

More details:

  • Irish Central Bank used BlackRock to conduct the loan portfolio test (basically the whole thing is a sham)
  • Irish Central Bank sees €13.2 billion potential capital loss from deleveraging
  • Irish stress tests see 10.5% core tier 1 ratio in base case; see 6% core tier 1 ratio in adverse case
  • Irish Central Bank says each bank to have loan deposit ratio of 122.5% by 2013
  • Irish Central Bank says banks have to deleverage EUR72.6bln by 2013

Full report below (link):

The Financial Measures Programme Report

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Crisismode's picture

You only need to know 2 things:

 

(1) Just BTFD.

(2) If there is no FD, then it was all priced in.

Long-John-Silver's picture

(3) BTFS Today's spike is tomorrows dip

TwoShortPlanks's picture

I'm waiting for the run.

camaro68ss's picture

is it snowing over there or something?

Fearless Rick's picture

+1 blarney stone kiss

Absolutely, fucking brilliant.

As the memorable Stan Lee would say, " 'nuff said."

rocker's picture

Is that a run on the banks.

AT least the Irish have the balls to tell the bond holders, Fuck You.   Something Americans lacks, Balls and Knowledge.

Americans only understand what the news media tells them.   Bullshit Noise.  I live in a stupid society.

This pretty much guarantees PM's move upward. Did anybody notice how much money Bloomberg reported that we gave to China and Foreign banks.  Go Bloomberg.  They also pointed out that Lloyd Blankfein lied under oath about the window borrowings. Blankfein said they were there once. Not True. Perjury???  Yup !!!

Dr. Porkchop's picture

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2011/mar/27/dutch-bankers-bonuses-axe...

 

The Dutch scored a small victory with ING Bank, centering a campaign around Twitter, threatening to withdraw their money unless they axed the banker bonuses... it worked. Not bad... where's the fortitude of the American people?

 

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Fortitude and American no longer belong in the same sentence.

Dr. Porkchop's picture

It's the only way anything will get done. The lawmakers in the US have proven to be all equally worthless. The only thing they fear is a run on the banks. Of course, in the new totalitarian America, the organizers of such an act would be branded domestic terrorists and the goon squad would come and burn them alive in their own homes. Never mind the fact the bankers used the exact same tactic (threatening to remove billions, trillions) if the government didn't release bailout money. You can commit such acts when you're a suicide banker.

I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Apparently congress has decided that the word "perjury" may not be used to describe The Bernank, Blankfein, or any other bankster.  Instead, please use the newspeak words "partial information," as in "Partial Information = Truth." Remember; if Mr. O'Brien says that 2 + 2 = 5, then it equals 5 damnit!  Now Mr. Winston Smith, don't step out of line again or else you may be called before congress to testify about your blashphemous, terrorist behaviour.  Say hello to Meredith Whitney for me while you're there... 

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Hopefully the Irish are wearing diapers today.

unwashedmass's picture

 

well, let me buy a bushel of euros on this "good" news.

TruthInSunshine's picture

 

Not to worry. TEPCO says groundwater in Fukushima has 10,000 times legal limit of radiation. Ireland can sell whiskey to Japan.

(and if TEPCO says it's 10,000x it's probably 1 million x)

 

Radioactivity 10,000 times the limit found from groundwater: TEPCO

 

Element's picture

When NHK goes quiet on reporting it (as they have today), and the video of the site stops, you can bet some really bad shit is developing there.

tmosley's picture

I guess we'll see what the DAX does this afternoon.

US markets don't look too happy.

Robot Traders Mom's picture

Wow...AAPL in another bloodbath today. Down almost $1, and probably only solvent for another 6 months. People continue to dump these shitty tech stocks realizing they are living on borrowed time.

Meanwhile, silver and gold doing nicely as people continue to realize what true wealth is...

You can go to yahoo finance and pull your own dumb little chart in Apple, like Robot does to get an idea of what blood on the streets looks like in graph form.

Bleeping Fed's picture

AAPL down less than 0.5% is a bloodbath?

Dr. Richard Head's picture

According to Robo, "Silver getting slaughtered" when it was down .2% yesterday in interday trading.  Slaughter and bloodbath are just common nomenclature at this point.

Buy the Fucking Dip, as I am going to dip my balls in it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR1hI_Ikuv8

jerry_theking_lawler's picture

24 Billion EU is a drop in the bucket. JCT....open the spigot....

traderjoe's picture

Approximately 15% of Irish GDP.

Billions, trillions of 'money' being thrown around these days. Those numbers have definitely lost their meaning.  

Cleanclog's picture

Irish Central Bank says banks have to deleverage EUR72.6bln by 2013

Wouldn't want to own Irish real estate in any form with that statement.

A Man without Qualities's picture

What it gives you an idea of is just how rich a bunch of Irish property developers got on the back of this lunacy....

Milstar's picture

True but I suspect most of those developers reinvested all their earnings for even more homes and projects.  

DavidC's picture

Not to me they haven't, not since I found out that even spending £1 miilion pounds a day every day since the birth of Christ (i.e. 2011 years!), I would still not have spent £1 trillion pounds.

DavidC

docj's picture

Approximately 15% of Irish GDP.

Insanity.  The Irish people are absolutely out of their minds if they consent to this (aka, not "Go Iceland").

JLee2027's picture

Let the banks go under. Of course that may start the "contation" the bankers fear so much.

Good I say. It's coming at some point anyway.

High Plains Drifter's picture

do you remember when jerry the king lawler slapped  andy kaufman  on the david letterman show?  ha ha ha ......

Rhone_Ranger's picture

Maybe they can borrower the bearded eggplant's printing press?

RobotTrader's picture

PigMen will be profiting from this event, as they are always pre-positioned properly by taking advantage of inside information provided courtesy of Brian Sack.

Heh, any wonder why Sotheby's is skying today?

More fancy artwork to be purchased, in order to impress the Ukranian escorts who will be arriving to The Hamptons in a few weeks....

Who would have figured that the biggest country bank debt bust in history would have created a bull market in fine art?

HelluvaEngineer's picture

I flagged you as junk because only a loser would try to impress an escort.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

HelluvaEngineer for the win!  That is the best comment of the day by far.  Dust off the "Fuck your couch, Bernanke!" t shirts, you win comment of the day!

bob_dabolina's picture

Yes you are correct.

Ukranian escorts have a visceral penchant for Gustav Klimt and the likes.

They can identify an artist based on just several brush strokes and all the financial services employees are just willy dilly to impress them. That must be the reason for the strong bid under BID.

Your analyses is second to none.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Tyler can we please have an ignore button?

Wynn's picture

mouse scroll wheel works well enough

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Not well enough to block momo charts. Feels like yahoo forums *cringe*

lizzy36's picture

They should just access the NATO reserve (aka frbny) discount window.

nobusiness's picture

Don't worry, expectations were for 25 Billion Euros

John Bull's picture

EUR/USD unch. Incredible... 

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Race to the bottom. Dollars just as shite as euros.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

This is a logical fallacy.  Both are not viable means of exchange, if the fact that they are not actual stores of wealth is taken into account, which it should be.