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It’s October 1, S&P down 20 pts, you’re Chairman of the Fed. What do you do?
You stare down into the solid gold basin in the second floor executive washroom on C Street, chuckling lowly to yourself. The memory of the impertinent Congressman asking the location of the Fed’s gold—your gold—fades. You catch a glimpse of your perfectly coiffed beard and immediately sober, then smile wryly at your reflection.
The shorts are feeding again at the S&P trough, feeling confident. Let them be confident. It's October, afterall. You fish in your pocket for the keys to the Bell Jet Ranger and clasp them as you close your eyes, going down the mental pre-flight checklist.
SFP wind-down–$35 billion–check.
Agency POMO--$2.6 billion—check.
Agency MBS POMO TBA--$25 billion—check.
NFP tomorrow—check.
All systems go.
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Disclosure: See here.
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Mitsui Seiki :: we made tomahawk cruise missle parts on those monster mills.
Even as the stench of the intestinal aftermath of last night's double beef burrito combo platter wafts unabated from your private commode, you step quickly to your desk and carefully unlock the solitary contents of the desktop, a leather briefcase that, judging from its scarred and stained skin, had seen more than its fair share of late night, hastily-called meetings in the dark canyons of Lower Manhattan. The well-oiled locks click open as you enter the codes, and with your brow furrowed and eyes squinting, you carefully scrutinize its contents. Belgian passport, Swiss account passbook, a few 100 Euro notes, a stack of Hong Kong gold depository receipts, assorted reports, and your trusty Berretta 92FS 9mm semiautomatic pistol. You pick up the Beretta, deftly push forward and back the barrel slide with a satisfying click, and admire its heft in the moist grasp of your pale, fat fingers. You allow yourself a hint of a smile. An older model - all metal, U.S. made, manufactured on the fabled Mitsui Seiki line. The best. Too bad there aren't more products like it left in America, you muse. Maybe then you wouldn't have to . . .
Reality in the form of the harsh, metallic ring of your desk telephone rouses you from your brief reverie. You automatically glance down at the caller ID screen while reaching for the receiver. Paulson. Again. Christ, you think, will this ever end?
Kill yourself?
My bet is he upgrades to a hot little journalist (CNBC?) bimbo wife like his predecessor did...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Mitchell
I guess he could crawl back in bed...and turn off his cell.
I guess its just one more stressful day of many for Big Ben. My bet is you keep the liquidity flowing. Thanks for the great article.
I guess Ben could crawl back in bed.
http://www.benbernanke.net/images/Ben%20Bernanke/Anna_Bernanke.jpg
Really good writing by the way. Spare and draws you in.
This market is climbing until a bank failure etc.
Humans are unable to do corrective pullbacks. Been that way all through history. Cheap credit has made it worse.
Once inflation picks up, it's go, go, go with the rate rises. Go with the Dollar rally, go with the China bubble pop!
Bernanke and co burst out of FED in an armoured van, Hank with a fat cigar. "I love it when a plan comes together!" (Cue A Team music)! Dee.. deee. de.de.....
I yet to see more dum idea to save the real economy. When the Roman empire at its pinacle had posts out in Europe,it was easy for Barbarians to keep attaking those outstreched posts and keep weakening them slowly but surely. I wish those people think in historical terms and look at a macro pisture. You can't prop up a failed model. And once the enemy(in our case the shorts,or so they think)knows you are week,they keep on attacking,and you keep on expending blood,untill there is no more blood,or blood becomes water.(in our case,you keep on pouring dollars,untill people stop you,or the dollar becomes a worthless paper).
You consider trading in the Bell Jet Ranger for something with a little more range, like a G650, go in your office and print whatever funds you need to make up the difference, then get airborne on your way to a country lacking an extradition treaty with the US and where beards are the norm (e.g., Afghanistan, Mauritius, 16th Century England).
you miss the double entendre - EB is a brilliant writer
I do what Lloyd tells me to do. Onward and upward to 1150
Love this post. Excellent imagery. Had a cathartic laugh. Good work.
The real crime is quarterly window dressing... as if it should matter what asset managers are seen holding, rather than how they're performing. Reversing this one-day sex act today only brings us back to a two-day norm in actuality. Sometimes, walls ARE a worry.
EB you are A W E S O M E
Love the deep stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSAqr3GH8PA
UNREAL video. love it. l. o. led. multiple times
Your post is obviously taken from the first couple of paragraphs of Ben's auto-biography (which has yet to be published)
You nailed it...now I'm forced to delurk and resign in shame for leaking.
-J. Reagan
who's writing it? Smells a lot like Patricia Cornwell.
Today's finish didn't come on the heels of a market moving " EVENT ". Data noise is only good for letting out a little air here and there at the resistance lines.
A failed 10T auction on 10/7.....now THAT would be an " EVENT " !! Could be the boyz are liquidating positions now to salvage upcoming auctions as directed by Heir Kommandant BB.
Is the bear market rally rolling over ?
MORE:
www.zerohedge.com/forum/market-outlook-0
Punt.
What do you do? Print more money and go shopping!
I love this website & hope the creators read my BIG THANK YOU FOR EDUCATING ME !! Sincerely .........
"What do you do?"
Why you tell your brother's son's second cousin to go massively short on your behalf.
hmm, that second cousin could be your son, not so smart if I were you
..and then you think... "in a country where CONgress needs to CONvene to consider passing a law telling 360,000,000 people that texting while driving is now illegal, in a nation with that many clueless idiots, who can't figure this out for themselves----why,I can get away with anything..".
A++++ poster.
Yeah, the shorts need a little fertilizer now and again, you can't get clippings if the grass doesn't grow.
When does the lawnmower start?