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iTimber
Turn out there was an app for that after all (and it was in fact designed by a bunch of Princeton Ph.D.). Not one to rest on his laurels, Steve Jobs is already getting people in line for the next generation, the iPlunge, while the FoxConn suicide team is hard at work on the iMonkeyhammered prototype.
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hey TD-I've been digging the iShort app
Obama economic team looking for the iShitmyself app.
... or an iFailed / iBlameBushAgain app to go along the line.
Don't forget the iVeNeverHadaRealJob app
With all the tranny-porn being viewed over at the SEC, Steve Jobs may want to develop an iSpankedTheMonkey app.
I mean, to mark official entry into bear mkt with a tag "Steve Jobs" is just plain magnificent. It has been so predictable, that it is comfortable as f!ck!
Here's a dumb title from Yahoo Finance.
May Pending Home Sales Tumble to Record Low- AP
The number of buyers who signed contracts to purchase homes dropped in May to the lowest level on record, a sign the housing recovery can't survive without government incentives.
They forgot to add - "at these prices" Just like the equities market.
"...Steve Jobs is already getting people in line for the next generation, the iPlunge, while the FoxConn suicide team is hard at work on the iMonkeyhammered prototype."
LOL
Where do you come up with this stuff? Funny as hell.
You're either seriously dark or darkly serious. Regardless, I love watching the mind of Tyler Durden on daily display. This is much better than any Monty Python comedy because it's made fresh daily.
Hey CD / How you doing these days? We hope well...
Doing well, thanks for asking. Where ya been? I haven't seen you around in weeks? Vacation? Job search? Wife search? :>)
None of the above buddy... We're pretty stable around here. We normally keep a low profile anyway. Noticed a lot of newbies to the site, and would rather read than comment. Tyler and staff still executing their business model very well. It's nice to see some youngsters doing great work, thriving, and contributing to society. You hang in there, and keep a positive attitude. Manage your risk well... I keep saying now for over a year that "There is No Market" anymore. Be well... nice catching up.
The iCaramba app is supposed to be out soon.
+1 (nice play)
Couldn't agree more - this site freakin rocks...
iPlunge, love it!
At least there was no volume associated with the down size move, huh?
There will be lots to talk about this weekend as families gather.
"as families gather", indeed.
Distribution time has almost ran out.
At least there's some volume ;0)
LMAO
Jeez !! The Dude just went HFT on me.... Fcuk These nanosecs do count!
LMAO
The dude abides....
And runs a co-located server at the ZH compound.
Dude,
The best line in the movie:
: Also, let's not forget - let's *not* forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either.
LOL
What's the 3 most important aspects to blogging?
(co)location, (co)location and (co)location. :>)
Is that yours? Can I use that?
Awesome...
Tyler, did you know there was a IFoodstamp Iphone app? Steve much be so Riiiiiicch selling that one!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UjbLV3SQPjk/S-zMm9V_vTI/AAAAAAAAABQ/gYxEXDQWqXU/s400/iFoodstamp2.jpg
All these are nothing in comparison with iBrain they introduced to general public in late 90's.
Lookout below! Unless this gapdown closes fast, you do not want to be sitting in equities holding your dick.
So I should let go of my dick?
MsCreant? Have you let go of your dick yet? Lizzy?
Keep holding on to your tally-whackers and switch over to tranny-porn using Steve Jobs' new iPhone app called iSpankedTheMonkey.
deleted
I too highly enjoy the twisted humor of Tyler Durden et al. I just wonder how y'all churn out these stories so fast! It's near real-time with event occurrences. Which of course makes this the best site on the net.
and every time the NYSE servers go down, ZH also goes down ;)
Whatever, ZH is one of the best sites ever.
ZH has been solid since they upgraded hardware over the weekend.
http://www.zerohedge.com/article/it-upgrades
I'm pretty sure I've seen the Ice Princess at least once since then.
Might be. I'm only on the site 16 hours a day so I might have missed something. :>)
So is this just dollar appreciation? Silver tanking, gold tanking, and stocks tanking. Everything in dollars is going down as the dollar goes up? While at work I can not play with fun charts and look fr myself.
Looks more like currencies other than the dollar are appreciating. The USDX is down 1.12 right now.
But yeah, any major downward move in gold or silver during COMEX hours can be assumed to be manipulation, and should be bought into.
Liquidations baby... gotta cover the losers...
I guess it's all Europeans that are liquidating, then, as the dollar is down, while the EUR and CHF are way up.
That's what you said when it was 1245.
Holy shoot gold got a whoopin. I think the wedge may have broke.
I was also saying it at 1145, and 1045, and 945, and 845, and 745.
I'm still winning, JB. I have to admit that you are a brave man for using a self portrait as your avatar on ZH. I applaud you.
Of course, I said to go short at 1220 the LAST time it was there. It did go down, but then it went back up in one last parabolic wedge.
I'm still in the money on my call, actually. It's still below 1220. Although, what a boring call.
I'm using the GOPs portrait as my portrait.
It seems to work well in appealing to the goldbugs as well. I noticed I haven't been junked that much today. Maybe it's my call, or maybe it's because they're like... "finally, one of us!"
DXY down today as well, Euro and Franc are way up.
AUSSIE YEN dam
dollar is down, or am i hallucinating...
dollar is down, or am i hallucinating...
aussieyen... duh
care to explain. im all ears.
looks more like CHF/JPY today
So two questions come up:
1)Will it keep accelerating down to double digits?
2)Is the Squid getting leveraged to do a short squeeze before letting it fall?
This is what happens when you leave HAL 9000 in the hands of interns as you head off to the Hamptons for the holiday. LOL! Love it.
This plunge is probably intentional, and is designed to garner public support for the forthcoming $5 trillion QE megastimulus.
+5t
+(-5t)
I don't think it is intentional, just forgone. I agree it will be the first step in the justification for QE 2.0. I believe the final step will be when the world credit gets hammered by a "bottom-kill" of Sovereign credit roll-over, caused by a "junk-shot" of exploding debt default (initialy private/commercial) which will finally put an end to the fiction of "well capitalized banks" through official asset mis-pricing.
This plunge is probably intentional, and is designed to garner public support for the forthcoming $5 trillion QE megastimulus.
Could be.
Also could be a threat to insure FinReg passes next week.
Or it could be the real deal, the collapse of the market in front of the depression.
We should know early next week or when the final vote on FinReg takes place.
sschu
Up 29.5 points in the ES in 30 min. Beautiful day, week, month. Those shorts are paying off too.
Thank you ZH for upgrading your servers just in time for the slide. It's nice to have company while the market plummets.
+1billion oz of Au and Ag.
In retrospect they will see how mild this data looks. The multiplier effect of all those without jobs without both checks and unemployment will lead to horrendous job loss and this should be the clearest signal the the Fed that they are just throwing money into a furnace.
We need deflation to cure us. Healthy, beautiful inflation and Americans need to not spend their lives in debt servitude to their homes.
The multiplier effect of all those without jobs without both checks and unemployment will lead to horrendous job loss
Yep, next month is going to be ugly to the nth power. State/local govt budget cutbacks will be adding to unemployment.
They believe they have textbooks for these kind of events and that they have witnessed it before when the truth is they are being written and it is called "Death of Keynesianism"
Jesus John, I'm just sitting around waiting for your sound, comforting words :)
+100
We can only hope. The sooner Keynesianism dies the better.
That is beautiful. I would lovelovelove for that to be true.
Doublepostedawesomeness.
No really, it's gonna work! They just need a little more time and maybe a little more QE -- about 5T will probably take care of it.
Truer words were never spoken
But TPTB would get wiped out by the defaults if we had a true deflationary reset. They learned from the New Deal. This time they have their political ducks in a row. Talking about reprisals for strategic defaulters.
"Their" homes? HAH! funny!
This is the captian speaking. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts for the flight to safety, but please be advised this flight has been overbooked since 2008. If you're standing, please just hold your nuts for the ride of your life since we will eventually be crashing and burning. The Gold flight was boarding at gate 4C, so if you missed it sucks to be you.
<thinks to himself...> "more nut holding?"
"boarding at gate 4C."
Sadly, those that boarded in the last few weeks were killed in an engine failure as the plane was leaving the runway.
-27 today alone.
patience young grasshopper.
Damn. -40. I guess being patient pays off.
WTF WTF WTF! What is happening to my quote screen...lmfao algos gone mental!!!
Maybe we can get a pop back to 1040 (backtesting the trendline is always bearish), only to plunge straight to 865. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
$20 down on gold ??!!
Silver is even worse...
WTF
aussieyen and loonieyen are = deflation
The rising wedge that I've been talking about broke finally.
You guys could have listened to me, but instead counted your future chickens before they were hatched.
"Maybe when gold hits 25000, we'll have a zerohedge convention" - akak.
Yeah, and maybe when martians come down and start killing us all, they'll bring us green cheese from the moon.
All you suckas that junked me for talking about the wedge should at least apologize. I'd rather you take this warning as what is bound to come and save your own portfolios though.
That's funny. Did you mean it to be?
I know, it's not in the ethics of the people here to admit when they're wrong. It's okay.
Just make sure that you don't lose money by holding gold if you bought at higher levels!
this is perfectly normal in a crash. havent you guys looked at what happened in 2008? gold will go down , sold off with other stuff...but not as far as other things, then ramp up big.
Someplace, somewhere a shipment of iPods is being interdicted and stripped of precious metals to cover the margin.
No it won't. That's what I've been trying to tell people for the last 3 months. The market crashes ONCE big and gold goes down. If it crashes again gold doesn't go down it skyrockets. That is game over time when nobody pays up the chips.
If that occurs me thinks things that happened at G20 will start comng out big time.
What are the chances of a late appearance by Doug Flutie to jam this back up?
Looks like they are attempting to grind it back up already.
Here comes the unexplainable rally, IMO.
stochastics are way oversold. It's not manipulation, it's due for a bounce.
In the face of today's reports? Why would it be 'due' for anything other than down?
Just curious as to your thoughts.
I've long been a believer that the stock market doesn't trade on news as much as it trades on technicals, and a lot of stochastics are hitting the zero line today.
When it hits zero, the HFT algorithms are programmed to buy.
Nobody is manipulating anything, it's just the natural technical outcome.
It's like when something trades over its bollinger band. It's GOING to fall, regardless of if the CEO just became Jesus and gained the ability to walk on water and poop money.
That is what's happening in the markets. Call it a dead cat bounce, call it what you want, but prices can't go down (or up) forever.
Your right - Lehman stock crash was purely technical - not fundamental
I can see how it's entirely prudent to use the 1% exception instead of the rule.
Did every other company in the SPX go bankrupt when the index went to 666?
Did every other company recover when it bounced to 1220? No, it was technicals.
Of course some companies go down fundamentally somewhat, but the drops are more based on technicals than anything.
Your right, flash crashes in various companies are completely normal
guys isn't the big surprise here....the dollar is in freefall?? significant no?
I wonder how long it will be before Apple comes out and blames the stock holders for the drop by claiming they're holding their assets improperly.
Gold is on its way down, too? Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe Wall Street will fall into the center of the earth.
gold down is same as in 2008, eventually it will gain its footing as safe haven and go back up
Right, typical liquidation. Gold is really the only avenue of liquidity available at this point and the drop is nearly a lock step tandem proof of that.
Remember, it was down almost 40% in 2008 from its peak. Do you want to take that chance?
What chance? This is it, gold is money again and once selling it to cover your ass is no longer preferable to going ass-less you won't be able to take a shit with out it
Everything isn't guaranteed. Just because you believe that doesn't mean that it's true.
I wish you well, otherwise, but gold can't go up forever just like anything else can't.
When the economy crashes like you seem to believe it will, there won't be many buyers for gold as it is...
http://quotes.ino.com/chart/index.html?s=NYBOT_DX&t=&a=&w=&v=i
euro up big!....change your plans euro bears.
I have a single long position in a Eurozone stock: QGEN. It's steady this morning, very surprising - must be the currency effect.
As you know, the biggest problem with the Titanic was there were not enough seats on the lifeboats to get everyone off....
Uh, a little technical correction here- there were not enough lifeboats, seats or no seats.
Don't worry about the selloff, measured in gold ounces we're actually positive on the SP500 today.
What about Uruguayan cocoa beans?
What about them?
Do they mine those out of the ground from a terminally finite supply or do they grow out of the ground every year powered by the sun in quantities limited only by the land mass they occupy?
They're another product that had an unusually high demand and disconnected prices.
They're also a product that you can arbitrarily use to measure stock indices by.
I still love my iOwnbullion app.
No need for much else these days.
>Monkeyhammered
LMAO, and I thought I'd heard them all. I don't see any more support (excluding our friends at JPM, of course) in the SPX till 950. "Be right and sit tight." Jessie Livermore
We might be some warped som-bitchez but hey, we're not stupid.
iGoldPlunging
Pound, Euro, Yen, Franc strong...DXY smashed wowza
gold will survive this. its the dollar movement i want someone to explain to me
aussieyen loonieyen = deflation
yes but wouldn't the dollar go up in a deflationary swing like this one?
im talking u.s. dolllar here.
The surprise will be tomorrow's employment report.
Since no one will be able to afford to repair their iphone 4:s (and therefore are suing Apple), how are they supposed to afFord a Ford. Just wait until that bastard breaks 10, it's gonna get murdered.
I love the smell of capitulation in the morning....... It smells like ......... victory.
whats up with the dollar thought when it went down stocks went up?
Typically when you toss gold on the market in a effort to cover debt it is followed by a jump in the currency supply directly proportional to the selling price.
But what the fuck do I know, I'm no fed economist.
We got a classic Keynesian counter-stroke scramble going on today: CBs pumping water out of EUR before vultures start feeding off the carcass. I spoke 2 weeks ago about an unofficial version of PLaza Accords whereby they've agreed to let the dollar decline. Both sides are motivated to let this happen.
Gold will eventually respond to this dollar debasing. But first hedgies are liquidating positions just to raise cash and cover margin calls on EUR shorts and equity longs. The snap back, however, will be sharp. QE2 is just 1 or 2 events away now.
Goldman refusing to let PCLN fall to a new low for the year, protecting their upgrade. Where are the arb algos to short this pig? It's managed to stay flat during the crash.
I've disliked apple for as long as I can remember. I guess I always viewed apple as PC for dummies. I was already very comfortable with the C prompt by the time I saw my first Mac. I thought the first apple I saw was a good improvement, with the mouse and GUI, but when windows came out, I always hesitated to buy an apple because they were substantially more expensive, and they had limited software. I figured they were more user friendly. I'm old enough to remember the days when installing new hardware on a PC was a night mare. I remember some sort of "conflict" happening quite regularly. Can't quite recall - started with an i? If you got that conflict, sometimes you could fix it with software, but once I had to move a jumper on the mother board. I certainly called it a mother board that day.
Windows 95 was stable enough and easy enough to use to forever remove and inclination I had to go to Mac, and XP just solidified it. Been using XP since its inception, with few issues.
In the end, however, the real reason I never bought an apple product was because of the people who bought apple products. The clincher for me was listening to some metrosexual dude almost break down into tears when he noticed a scratch on his iSomething laptop. Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't believe this. I'm going to have to get a new cover! On and on. Christ, grow a pair dude. I think I view apple users as the same type of folks who drive a Toyota Pious and think they're helping the earth. Clueless leftist weeny types. Vegetarians for moral reasons who drink milk, and, who when I tell them that the life of a dairy animal is substantially more brutal than the relatively short life of a beef animal have nothing to say - smug pseudorighteaousness needs not reason.
The iFad craze is as bad as the Twilight craze. Both make me ill.
Wow, a windows virus just gained sentience and is posting on Zerohedge.
You're just mad because you have a hard time infecting Macs, and because they last 2-4 times longer than PCs.
And they cost 2-4X more.
Why would you WANT something that will be obsolete in a year to last for ten years? So you can have a slow ass clunky computer?
And it's not even true that Macs last ten years. My friend's macbook has been in the shop FOUR times in two years.
Apple really is PC for retards. The only reason why it doesn't get viruses is because like 5% of people have Macs, so nobody cares to write viruses for them. Then again, my PC just runs antivirus software on its own and never gets viruses either.
And buying a PC saved me 66% over the macbook that had lesser specs than my computer.
Somehow it doesn't surprise me that you'd pay 2-4X too much for your computer though, just to be stylish.
You're already paying 2-4X times too much for gold. You must have money to burn.
duplicated, edited.
It was IRQ (Interuption Request).
RE: Apple - the funny thing about their computers now is they rely on the PC market to invent and polish hardware before using their linux port of an OS on it. Its always a generation behind and cost twice as much for the same thing as a PC.
And if you think Apple OSes are pretty, you should look at some of the crap those Linux nerds have developed. Fully hardware accelerated 3D GUIs....windows that burn down when you hit the X. Crazy stuff!
My parents bought an Apple because they are afraid of electronics. 'Nuff said.
Bingo on IRQ. Always used to have conflicts... XP pretty much sealed the coffin on that issue.
and ditto on all the pay too much for the same hardware comments for apple. Effectively, it used to be a closed platform where they had their own hardware and software... fortunately for the rest of us, the chip market (and everything else) heated up and competition created marvels at fractions of the cost. As a result, apple started offering pc components in its rigs...
apple has already conceded the issue. It's purely a question of branding and software preference. And, with Windows 7, I think you're going to be pretty hard pressed on the software issue...
Hey Tyler, why don't you just unleash the Zero Hedge Bot right now and sink this damn market once and for all?
The US Mint report, year to date for 1oz. silver eagle sales show 18,168,500 sold. This number is every ounce of silver the US has mined so far this year!
The Comex-approved depositories reported another silver withdrawal on Tuesday of 489,913 ounces. Very little silver buying by SLV since December - just no sizeable silver bullion amounts to be had!
Big, bad bear raid on PMs going on today - will the bulls hold? Or fold?
OT: Anyone have any idea why the EUR is so strong today [other than european banks borrow less [this time] from the ECB]???
Gold droping like a stone and the EUR going up against the swissie? What's going on?
i think the euro is strong because the dollar has dropped big. gold is being sold off with other assets, that's perfectly normal to me as i expected that looking at the charts in 2008. it will however recover as a safehaven i think and may even blast up after a near time weakness
as to why the swissie isn't going up as much as the euro, i'm not sure
Leo, h01y omg wtf low prices. Chinese solars are really cheap today.
In my head, I can picture Leo right now looking at quotes like that guy from the ad (Staples or Office Max) "Wow that is a great price!" over 3000 times today.
Excellent fake out today. Watch as we cross into the green yonder!
Wheee! Look at the PPT go. Maths quiz of the day - how many days do the average American have to pay taxes for, to support todays intervention?
Alternatively, calculate the theoretical loss of purchasing power, as a direct result of the covert dilution of the money supply that is taken place behind the curtain.
Haha nice
PS vol comparison will be key, over 30k contracts on the minis at the 10:00 mark alone, sweet.
Certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. Thanks windows vps | cheap vps | cheap hosting | forex vps
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