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It's 4 PM: Does Comcast Know Where CNBC's Viewers Are?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In a sad twist of fate for Comcast, its recent business channel acquisition, which numerous independent reports have alleged has become nothing but a prattling brown-nosing drone for the administration, spewing forth an endless barrage of mindnumbing propaganda, is seeing an ever increasing plunge in its viewership (which arguably validates said independent reports) which in November dropped to 47 in the demo, a 36% slide from a year earlier. Nowhere is this more obvious than in what's left of the audience of the original CNBC icon: Maria Bartiromo. The once jet-setting, and now merely setting money honey, whose Closing Bell slot starts at 4PM, has stooped to having the dubious reputation of being in possession of the weakest 25-54 demo among all of CNBC's November viewership, at just 41K per Nielsen's, a massive 51% drop from November 2009, and a 11% drop from October, it seems CNBC's ever sparser viewers have decided that even icons have a useful shelf life. But that's ok: we are confident that once the next round of CNBC "business rationalizations" takes place shortly once the NBC Universal transaction formally closes, the $ Honey will be able to fall back on the proceeds from her latest bestseller: "The Weekend That Changed Wall Street: An Eyewitness Account", which since publication on September 7, has blitzed almost to top of the charts and currently languishes in the much coveted spot #10,655 of bestsellers.

And not too surprisingly, the other biggest loser: the Fast Money Halftime Session, which has plunged to the same 41k viewership: a whopping 56% decline YoY (and 11% MoM).

Yet what would a CNBC Nielsen poll be if it didn't include the one, the only, the very, very funny Jim Cramer. In all honesty, the Mad Moneyer (dormant SEC investigation into theStreet.com aside: what happened there SEC? not enough nudity on the site?) has had two months of worse ratings previously in his career.

And a blast from the Klownshoes past: "Buy CIT (pre-bankruptcy) at $46.74 - I don't see this big commercial lending problem."

 

 

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Wed, 12/01/2010 - 18:57 | 770038 malusDiaz
malusDiaz's picture

Teevee?

I've been clean for 8 years -thank-you-very-much-no-thank-you.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:01 | 770055 wretch
wretch's picture

Clean for seven years here.  Easier habit to break than the interwebs, clearly.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:04 | 770067 malusDiaz
malusDiaz's picture

The internet isn't an addiction... Right RIGHT!?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:25 | 770134 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

must...  surf...   ZH...

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:47 | 770592 rocker
rocker's picture

Too Funny.  Another Bass Ale please.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:56 | 770609 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Maria would do well if she finally did Playboy.  It certainly helped Farah's career.  Jim Cramer should be the poster child for what happens to a person who sticks bobby pins in electrical outlets a few too many times.  I think it burned out a few of his chromosomes.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 14:04 | 772376 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Yeah but Maria has a gut like she was pregnant a few months ago.  I think Playboy is in the business of SELLING magazines.

 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:42 | 770185 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

 

problem is simple...they report on activities in another dimension....and most of us who are active in the marketplace are tied up keeping abreast of what is happening there...in the market...on Earth...in the Northern Hemisphere.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:01 | 770225 shushup
shushup's picture

I stopped watching them about a year ago. I was sick of the lies and BS on this station. I'd like to know the truth about the state of the economy even if it is not reflected in market price (example; last 3 months). So glad I found Zerohedge.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 01:17 | 770974 zwscott33
zwscott33's picture

stopped watching summer of 09.

 

Dennis Kneal: This recession is over!!!!

 

He was kinda right, in a certain delusional NBER sorta way

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:57 | 770346 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

Tee Vee? Do people still use that relic of uncontrollable speed (FF/RR/SKIP/etc) content delivery? That is like the stupid people who still use XM/Sirius versus Pandora/Last.fm/etc.

And for f--- sake, TV has those annoying commercials even though you are paying for cable TV. What fool pays for content AND endures commercials?????

PS: Maria truly is past her expiration date. Not just her 'outdated' content, her outdated visuals too. Maria you are not alone, the CNBC writers in general are to blame... though your genetics are not the best either.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 03:38 | 771173 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I only watch "Holmes on Homes" (HGTV) and other practical shows.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:15 | 770040 etrader
etrader's picture

Maybe its time Maria bowed out  gracefully  to MSNC like Mr Ratigan and Ms Drury takes over the closing Bell for the Key demo's.

Maria's never really been the same since, that "deep probing" interview on Citi's Dassault.

If CNBC US just  followed  euroland or asia's output style, maybe the bleed would stop.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:31 | 770152 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

Ratigan's Run-on Sentences have actually found a niche at 4pm MSNBC Foreclosure Fraud +1000 Dylan!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:53 | 770214 shushup
shushup's picture

He and bathtub boy should host a show together. ratigan has copied his style well.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 18:57 | 770042 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

what question is this Tyler?!...u know I am here ...refreshing ZH pages every few minutes..

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:52 | 770211 breezer1
breezer1's picture

who are you and what have you done with reggie?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 18:57 | 770045 themosmitsos
themosmitsos's picture

Take it easy on Melissa Lee

QEasian FTW ;)

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:00 | 770047 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Boob job, tight sweater. Problem solved.

Look I don't make the rules, I just call em as I see em. If there was anything to her reporting then she would work somewhere else. Problem also solved.

Disclosure: I don't even own a TV. I'm just making the usual generalizations one makes in these situations.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:00 | 770051 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I see Cramers old buddy Kudlow is down there kicking ass for last place too.

LMAO.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:39 | 770435 akak
akak's picture

Yeah, I hear tell that freshly-dug graves are often soon covered with green shoots!

GREEN SHOOTS!  GREEN SHOOTS!  Throw enough "mustard seeds" around, and something is bound to come up!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:03 | 770054 DavidPierre
DavidPierre's picture

Throwout your God damn TV... have not had one for over 40 years and don't even miss it.

You want to change the system?... change your mindset!

Just unplug from all that Bullshit!

TV = Propaganda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nlf4LNhczY

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:28 | 770141 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

At least you are clear on the subject.

You know why they call it programming, right?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:03 | 770230 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Don't forget the remote control. Cuz that's how they implant the programming, ya know.

Thing is though, these are the exact reasons I watch the first hour of Haines and Burnett, as I want to see what the storyline for the day is going to be (and I haven't traded a stock in years). I do have to skip over the debating stock pumpers sections as well as any politicians though, as those are both beyond nauseating.

When I see Steve LIESman in the studio though, I know I'm getting the story straight from Uncle Ben's mouth. Box him up with Santelli though, and it's nothing but a bitch-slapping contest between Keynesian and Freidmamite rhetoric.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 00:32 | 770496 akak
akak's picture

When I am cleaning out my refrigerator's meat drawer and have to wipe out that odious slime in the bottom of it --- composed of the months-old sticky residue from leaking ground meat blood gone gangrenously putrid, cheap lunchmeat sweat, rotten fish drippings with their radioactive rankness, and the accumulated flowover from all the various refrigerator spills of the last few months such as spoiled milk, brown decomposing lettuce essence, and the surprisingly bilious byproduct of a leaking cottage cheese container six months prior --- when I am dealing with all that, I am reminded of Steve LIESman.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:45 | 770194 minus dog
minus dog's picture

Well that might be a bit of a waste...   Younger people like myself don't so much have a "TV" anymore, as they have an "extra large monitor where everyone can see it".  It is a tool, doesn't mean you have to watch their programming on it.

I have never purchased (or used) television service.  Ever.  

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:00 | 770243 DavidPierre
DavidPierre's picture

Forty years ago ..."I was just a soldier on my way to Montreal"... 

The best advice ever! 

John Prine : Spanish Pipedream

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whpf4Xs2ww8&feature=related

Johnny Cash singing Sam Stone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-fc2j38Ab4&feature=related

 

Hello In There

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_PbfxNsdZs&feature=related

"We lost Davey in the Korean War"

"All the news just repeats itself...

 Old people just grow lonesome..."

Enjoy your youth!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:19 | 770491 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

.

.

Prine sings:

"Blow up your tee-vee

Throw away your pager (?)

Move to the country

Plant a garden...

Try to find Jesus on your own"

(roughly translated/remembered)

... sounds good except for trying to find anyone/anything other than your SELF.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:23 | 770516 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

.

.

Where It is really at:

Johnny Cash - A Thing Called Love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YVYczqD2b8&feature=list_related&playnext...

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:54 | 770612 gs_runsthiscountry
gs_runsthiscountry's picture

wow....now there is a name I havent heard for awhile.

John Prine just isnt a name I expected to see in type. I was introduced to his music as a youngster on fishing and camping trips. while not my normal rotation of music it does bring back memories.

Good grief...i will have some of these old songs stuck in my head for awhile.

Nice post david.

gs_

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:15 | 770678 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

.

.

Where It is really at:

Johnny Cash - A Thing Called Love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YVYczqD2b8&feature=list_related&playnext...

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:01 | 770056 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

If only Cnbc could get Marisa Tomei

Then even I'd watch that bullsheet

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:07 | 770059 TheGreatPonzi
TheGreatPonzi's picture

A TV program, by its very definition, cannot provide profitable investment advice, as the profitability-to-come of an investment inversely proportionally declines with the number of people going on the boat.

If CNBC starts to tell people to go into gold, becomes bearish on the economy, talks about a Ponzi and stops its pro-gov propaganda, it would be the "bell" signal to sell your PMs.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:03 | 770060 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

  These guys JUST DONT FUCKING GET IT. There is only so much propaganda people can take down their feeding tube before they reject it and seek out independent honest sources of information which is why I myself are personally here for over a year now. Evidence of that is Jim Cramer's fall from grace now that he is a laughing stock because he has outed himself as a waterboy. When people lose faith it cannot be regained. It takes years to earn a reputation and minutes to destroy it. 

   What genius thought referring to Erin Burnett on Morning Joe @ 8:30 every AM to give the "Market Report" thought it was wise to refer to her DAILY as "International Superstar Erin Burnett"? 

  Why are MSNBC shows all declining?

Why even though many here do not enjoy Glenn Beck does he have the highest ratings?

Why is it that Judge Napolitano has been moved up to a prime time slot on Fox News?

Why are Olbermanns ratings in the toilet?

Why has Kneale gone the way of the Dodo?

Why is Alex Jones finally garnering massive ratings for a internet run radio and tv show and just ran a 250k money bomb last month?

And why is Zero Hedge  accumulating more and more viewers on a daily basis?

  Because they speak the most truth and "People are suckers for the truth Bubba"

  And it is contagious.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:09 | 770085 Bill Lumbergh
Bill Lumbergh's picture

Well said...even if they only had 10 people watching they would probably be subsidized just to continue the dissemination of the propaganda.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:24 | 770130 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Ratigan will go after the banksters, then he starts thst left right BS. I have been listening to Alex Jones for yrs. take 911/truth out he would be even bigger, & he's usually pretty close. Glen beck getting better ......

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:26 | 770135 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Sir John,

I enjoy your posts often.  I consider you a reasoned and rational fellow.  But you have missed the point per CNBC.  It has been allowed to continue with its perpetual major malfunction because it has existed within the greater body of the mother ship, GE.  And all the while that this has been the case, the various malfunctioning personalities have continued to suffer under the delusion that they are too important to be released from the mother ship, no matter the absolute laziness and lack of preparedness inherent in their daily presentations.

Rather than picking one of the many low hanging fruit there, let us report to a favored son, none other than Joe Kernan...a fellow who spends more time picking out bumper music than preparing hard questions for smarmy investment bankers...and cracking jokes that regularly disrupt the flow...or trickle...of useful information that might accidentally appear during his three long hours.  Why just today, in response to the massive futures move this morning, his partner cited "Good production numbers in Asia" as the reason for the move.  And in response, the much loved Mr. Kernan responded with, "Weak dollar...that's how it works now."  End quote, mind you, literally.

Now never mind that futures did not actually respond to the asserted stimulous, those Asian numbers, and never mind that Chinese numbers are manufactured by a Communist nation of central planners.  Again, "Weak dollar, that's how it works."

Comcast, I should think, will have an entirely different opinion of these things, however...that is if they can close while there is any value left in the entire network.

But sir, we share with equal enthusiasm the notion that credibility lost is almost never regained...which our markets are currently suffering...but the subject of another post.

Cdad

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:30 | 770293 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

Sir CDAD let me assure you I am certainly on the same page as you. CNBC/MSNBC/NBC are all now products of the TARP recipients of GE capital. They all believe they are now part of the elites in my opinion to have them and their bretheren repaid in their pieces of silver sometime in the future after they have done their part in relaying the White House globalist talking points. More succinctly they are either traitors or too mental handicaps incapable of original thought.
That is why CNBC recently recieved a Town hall with Obama with pre determined questions.
That is why Liesman is considered the man with GED access. Liesman is a tool who is enveloped in his self manifested self importance and his reward for Fed fellatio is to be the message boy for the Fed to the mainstream.
I once wrote Kernan and angry email telling him " how can I trust your cheerleading network when you cannot even get the aFLAC trivia questions correct?"
To my surprise he wrote me an angry retort telling me I was bitter etc. It's all about sellouts. GE soldout America for out tax dollars and are now co conspriators PRAVDA style. If there is something else I'm missing I'm all ears sir. I love to learn. It drives me.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:51 | 770345 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Correct, and dead on John. Pisani, Kernan, Liesman and all the other tools at CNBC should know better (and I believe they do), yet still refuse to report anything truthful, useful or honest. They appear to have NO conscience, and are only there to collect a paycheck and go off a prearranged GE script. They are becoming increasingly irrelevant as the ratings prove so. 

We must tune these people out, and focus on that which we know is real. ZH fits that bill. I tell everyone I know to bookmark and read this site daily. Many are doing just that.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:25 | 770415 velobabe
velobabe's picture

i am ¢'ing it is all about the pay check. can't blame them. i am sure Kernan is no longer an 80 handicap, so that is his K A R M A, not.

plus, he has gotten pudgy over the last decade, i have notice.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 03:48 | 771183 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Look, ya don't shoot your PC when a General Protection Fault freezes it, why do you therefore complain when the robots/talking heads relay what's written on the teleprompter?  I'm of the opinion that these people are clueless about what's REALLY going on, perhaps intentionally so.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:53 | 770456 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Dearest Sir John,

I am literally delighted to hear that Joe wrote back to you a snotty response.  I have written and yet not received that just reward which, I assure you, I would relish.

Indeed, GE is a corporation that should receive the fullest of federal investigation.  We have heard over the years of their various dealings with nations like Iran, but I do believe, in the end, the story will go much, much deeper than this.  Of course, what we are talking about now is crony capitalism which is corrosive to the republic.  Unfortunately, it will probably take some sort of seismic shift in CA, literally, before the White Iphone 4 seeking zombies join us in a certain amount, anyway, of consternation that CNBC would betray the US public with propaganda.  Hi ho!

Maybe it is the case that there is nary a wit of difference between us, good sir.  Be it the case, I look forward to reading your logical, relevant, and reasonable posts.  Rest assured, I shall step forth and support them.

I tip my hat, good sir.  I raise my glass to the death of NBC...which will likely come only when the Iphone 4 audience starts paying more attention to the broadcast segments than the do the commercial segments.  When this day comes...who knows...but I do pray.

Until then...

Respectfully,

Cdad

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:03 | 770063 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

But,but that's not what Jeffery Immelt says? Oh but that's right he is part of the new economic advisory board... They are all on the same cheerleading squad, only problem is the team is losing every game.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:28 | 770142 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

Nah man, Jeff's cool (beside that pesky "I'm a globalist" admission he made on Charlie Rose a few years ago then crawling back, stars and stripes in hand, to the government tit during the height of the crisis. Oh and proclaiming, on CNBC no less, that the GE dividend was "air tight" before cutting it a few months later).

I mean he is a class b board member of the NY Fed.

Class B means he was elected by member banks to represent the public. So he's got your interests at heart!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:04 | 770066 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

CNBsC.

It is surreal that people watch that bullshit. I can't even stomach that shit for 5 seconds.

Who are these tens of thousands of mouth breathers that actually do watch that absolute tragicomedy?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:11 | 770093 TheGreatPonzi
TheGreatPonzi's picture

Douchebags who think they can become quickly rich following Cramer's advices. That usually ends in tears.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 03:54 | 771185 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Make no mistake, those "dirt bags" are making FRNs in the current market(s).  Crazer could recommend Consolidated Drool and someone would probably make some FRNs.  There's gonna be a lot of unhappy campers when the Great Implosion finally happens!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:07 | 770076 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

CNBC NEEDS A BAILOUT - Here is the plan sponsored by Bennie & the Feds - for all the 99ers they will receive extended benefits to WATCH CNBC or at least have the channel on a muted TV in their homes - in this way CNBC can continue their propoganda activities as an all-day infommerical - I am Larry Kudlow & I approve this message -

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:09 | 770088 oogs66
oogs66's picture

Bloomberg news seems much better.  Still somewhat financial. It was nice to have a whole day and not one single analyst complain that all stocks move the same!  they only complain that they move the same on down days!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:10 | 770090 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Anyone else getting creeped out by the blinking genie levitating the sneeker at the side of the page? *blink, blink*

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:11 | 770094 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Am I reading that right? A less than 100K viewership nationwide in the primary demo?

I hope Comcast realizes that there are infomercials with more viewers...

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:15 | 770108 TheGreatPonzi
TheGreatPonzi's picture

When a State-sponsored propaganda organ ceases to have viewers/readers, the State simply funds it with taxpayers money/bank monek to maintain the illusion.

The Pravda continued to exhibit advertisings on the walls and continued to be considered as "the reference", even with 12 readers per month.

In France, where I live, the State-sponsored newspapers like Le Monde or Libération, despite having horrible stats of readers, are still considered the "reference" in my country, and they receive billions of government subsidies every year.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:23 | 770128 Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman's picture

Amen. (I am an atheist)

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:35 | 770159 TheGreatPonzi
TheGreatPonzi's picture

Amen, brother (me too).

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:13 | 770098 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Maria may be pretty but she has this habit of head flipping her hair, like a horse.  I cannot stand to watch her as her voice grates on me like nails scraching down a blackboard.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:13 | 770100 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Perhaps "Sheeple" are becoming an endangered species.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:19 | 770102 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Bloomberg has hotter bimbos. Margaret Brennan for one.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:15 | 770106 Cdad
Cdad's picture

OK Tyler...now, with this little gem, you are in my wheel house.  I shall be posting here on this page...for months.

And as I watch the Cramer Circus now, on mute because I can no longer deal with the perpetual contradiction machine known to himself as the Sad Clown, I shall write my dirge.

For I believe in the Republic.  I believe in God given Freedom.  And I believe in these things more than the next day trade on women's underwear or the mad traffic expected at Apple stores everywhere when they finally put forth the White Iphone 4.

The 4th Estate is an essential component of a free republic.  God help us all, and thank the good lord for ZH.  Let us hope TD is allowed to remain on station despite the treachery of the US Federal Government.

 

 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:17 | 770111 mynhair
mynhair's picture

So, Barfiromo's book is still ahead of Billary's?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:17 | 770113 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Investment/money porn kinda goes out of fashion when the entire teevee-viewing market has no money.

They should just start new programming.  Gourmet Roadkill and Recycle that Junk Mail! would be surefire winners these days.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:51 | 770209 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I've been saying for years that in the US, folks will be saved by Kudzu and Snakehead soup (and whatever "invasive" species that is locally abundant).

As for junk mail, I'm thinking of shredding it in order to create some sort of paper brick I can use to build my bunker.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 01:00 | 770953 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I haven't used a woodstove in quite some time, and I don't have a perfect grasp of the mechanics, but my understanding is that with a hydraulic jack, you can convert wads of newprint into "logs."

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:20 | 770117 sbenard
sbenard's picture

I am one of those that used to have CNBC on my television, but abandoned it entirely when I realized it was just the Obamapoligsit Channel. Good riddance!

I've traded better ever since!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:37 | 770170 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

And some of us around the office thought perhaps you'd lost some weight. You just look better these days.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:33 | 770123 sbenard
sbenard's picture

I am one of those that used to have CNBC on my television throughout my work day, but abandoned it entirely when I realized it was just the Obamapologist Channel. It look like a lot of other smart people saw the darkness of CNBC also. Good riddance!

I've traded better ever since!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:23 | 770127 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

Jabba the Haines, he must have photos of Immelt or with him.

The talking heads defend the wall street elite because the talking heads want to desparately be part of the club.  They think of themselves as the moneyed elite.  They think they are important to the whole process but they are actually laughed at as pawns.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:37 | 770169 sbenard
sbenard's picture

"Jabba the Haines" -- I haven't laughed that hard in YEARS!

 

Thank you for that!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:27 | 770138 Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman's picture

Just curious. Anybody realize that on the CNBS ticker during trading hours that when gold and silver are losing they show it just about every 4th or 5th flip? But when they are losing (either one of them) they show them every 10-12th flip. I think that's fucked up.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:19 | 770265 phat tails
phat tails's picture

Yep, and they pull the same kind of b.s. when the market is down.  Instead of red, they use yellow or green. Ronald McDonald is way more efficient in mind control...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOU7iCaM9G4&feature=related

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:29 | 770145 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Maria - where do we go "in terms of" "putting new money to work" "in this environment"?... Stay tuned for an "exclusive cnbc interview"

with sound effects...

"in term-sh of" 

"in this envirun-munt"

"exsh-clu-shiv she-nb-she in-churview"

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:10 | 770239 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

Ah, Maria. Brooklyn born and bred. "Today's action in the S&P Five Hundrit..."

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:29 | 770146 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

Maria has breathing difficulties, accompanied buy verbal bouts of "Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh", reminds me of when my principal said that my best friends "Were Not Students" at my school. Comcast should fire maria like Business Week did. They told jackoff-welch where to go too). She's a dope, bye-bye.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 03:59 | 771188 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Why didn't you turn her into US Customs for raisin smuggling? :>D

Sat, 12/04/2010 - 13:21 | 778112 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Cantaloupes hidden in there for sure!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:30 | 770422 velobabe
velobabe's picture

hey, they have her so buttoned up at the collar, that is why she is having breathing problems. jeeze, i have never witnessed such a clevage_less brigade on this particular female in all my life.

next, she will only be wearing hillary style pantsuits, all day long.

might as well show her chastity belt.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:31 | 770150 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

How about ZeroHedge, the new TV financial news network?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:36 | 770164 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

Never, don't waste his time: Hit & Run, we finger it out!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:44 | 770191 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Prolly happen, with advent of internet-TV.  Can hardly wait to see Marla hosting.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:34 | 770157 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Things will just get more comcastic.  On the internet side of the house they are talking about charging extra for bandwidth again (torrents or netflix).  They've been monkeying around with a lot of their backend infrastructure and breaking things - I think they are getting ready to put the smaq down.  Glad to not be a comcast customer anymore but the other cable operators will move if comcast can make it work.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:38 | 770173 mynhair
mynhair's picture

As Comcast no longer offers Usenet, they better not charge me for going elsewhere.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:36 | 770167 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

My faith in the American people is restored. There is little doubt that CNBC is nothing but propaganda machine and has been so deeply hell bent on supporting anything the democrats spout. It has been open, in your face and disgusting. There is little left on the whole network to be of value. They are all captured. Close it and start over with discussing business news reality

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:37 | 770168 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

"There's a lot of money on the sidelines."

 

POMO, bitchez!

 

(Is it enough, though?)

Quadruple POMO, bitchez!!!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:47 | 770199 tickhound
tickhound's picture

"shishtemic rishk"

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:37 | 770171 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

How stupid is Comcast for letting NETFLIX run their own programs over their own wires to their homes FOR FREE!!!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:48 | 770204 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

You pay for unlimited internet access.  So, why should Nflx be any different from You tube or watching clips from Msnbc, etc.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:40 | 770177 jkruffin
jkruffin's picture

Haven't watched CNBC crap since March 2009 and proud of it. Anyone who wastes their time watching these idiots, needs to get off extended unemployment benefits and get a job.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:45 | 770193 mynhair
mynhair's picture

And miss the infrequent Santelli rants?  Oh, wait, I've missed all of them.

TG for Goobtube instant replays.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:46 | 770198 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

The underlying problem - besides simply sucking - is CNBC is one giant advertisement.

My personal favorite is when they cut back from commercial, give a ten second blurb about something ("Dow's Green! Dow's Green! When we return expect another heaping portion of mindnumbing drivel"), and then cut back to another three minutes of commercials.

When the commercials aren't rolling - it's some "money manager" pitching his stock ideas or views on the economy (i.e his firm), a corporate executive pitching his company, some politician pitching their agenda, or the hosts blathering about something for interests of their masters. Of course don't forget the massive branding that goes on constantly by virtue of simply mentioning the companies at all. Company's pay out the ass for branding; CNBC provides it free of charge all day, every day.

And if you really wondered about the massively coordinated bleating over GM's IPO by all the financial entertainment channels -- they were fighting for that Ally Bank and GM ad-dollar. Most fawning coverage gets awarded that marginal buck.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:18 | 770260 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Well said on the matter of money managers pitching their book.  One can see how that is easier than actually investigating...or engaging in journalism.  However, this is part of what is killing viewership on the network...because we can all see what is happening with this parade of smarmy bankers.  You know, they used to have to "disclose their positions" when they registered their opinion.  Funny how that has gone away.

My soul dies a little for every hour of programing I ingest on this network...and I report here for my daily inoculation.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:48 | 770203 Let them all fail
Let them all fail's picture

Did anyone see the disgusting advertising of Cramer's personal product line last night on Bloomberg, I threw up pretty much instantaneously...It talked him up as some sort of investing genius, because his calls on his show have been so wonderful and all, its so nice how he preys on stupidity and his TV bullshit to sell worthless shit (to those who are obviously in need of help if they buy his crap)

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:50 | 770207 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

I bet Maria loves tequila shooters.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:30 | 770421 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

do you mean hooters?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:53 | 770212 oogs66
oogs66's picture

For what its worth, anyone remember the Tepper interview?  hard to forget but he asked them what drives their biz, and Joe Kernan admitted that no matter what they do - low cut blouses, a laughable 'heat' map - their ratings basically are correlated with stock volumes.  And since HFT's don't watch them, I can only assume its actual retail volumes that are correlated with their ratings.  No wonder they are focused on driving stocks up! Basically their pay is tied to stocks!  And remember Cramer is not just here to entertain you but educate you!  The education may never have been there but even the entertainment is gone!  

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 19:58 | 770219 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

I happened to be going into the office a bit later yesterday morning, so for auld lang syne, I scrolled over to CNBC - a channel which I had not payed that much attention to since the days of Cavuto. The "actionable" business object of discussion between Mark Haines and Erin Burnett ? What it felt like, for Erin, when her nose hair froze whilst on a CNBC trip to Russia. Perish that image, and send some nose hair clippers to Ft. Lee. CNBC: Trolling the depths of financial journalism. One has to wonder what the share numbers would be if CNBC did not run a real-time ticker ?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:02 | 770227 Teaser
Teaser's picture

Look, Tyler, I appreciate that you're keeping up with this "story", but if you and your cohorts would stop doing research on this story, we could easily get another 50% drop in viewership this month.  You do realize that the cable company reports when you're doing your "research", right?  So knock it off. 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:11 | 770240 Navigator
Navigator's picture

I keep CNBC on with the sound turned off in order to check the futures in the morning and to keep a watch on the trends of the averages as the day goes on.  I listen to Santelli when it's convenient but he's the only one.  I can't stand Kudlow, Kernan or MCC and I don't know why the network didn't send them to Faux a long time ago.  All 3, and others at times, seem to think the audience wants to hear them talk instead of the guest.  And all 3 have a very bad habit of interrupting guests so they can astonish us with their stupidity.  As someone has already mentioned, one of the worst is Kernan who ALWAYS stops the flow of an interesting interview with a stupid joke or sports story when the guest gets too far out of Kernan's depth with the subject...which is NOT hard.  

Several people on this thread have said CNBC is a promo for the administration.  I disagree.  Kernan, Kudlow and MCC are far right-wing corporatists.  CNBC will never get ratings with those three around. Corporatism is the basic problem for both the left AND the Teaparty.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:17 | 770680 rocker
rocker's picture

Your right on. They are sluts for the Republicans and Tax Cuts for the Rich. 

Remember the talking point. The whole rally is based on tax cuts for the rich.

If they just print instead of taxing anybody.  It is all good. Bail out more banks, please.

Did I say bail out more banks? Correction: Print for more banks.

Joe Kernen on bank bail outs, "It's all good". 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:19 | 770262 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Whether I'm personally long or short, I want to take a 10 guage to my set whenever I see these Fed-worshiping, Buffett-licking assclowns celebrate a POMO market ramp.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:43 | 770575 frankoo
frankoo's picture

And how do you really feel?  lol

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:22 | 770269 Smiley
Smiley's picture

TV is not important.  TV does not love you.  TV does not reflect real life. Every sitcom made in the past 30 years is...the same.

People who define their lives around programming times of any television program are pathetic and have my pity:  Sad little creatures.

 

 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:20 | 770271 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Check out Michelle Caruso-Cabrera's new hairdo and her red straightjacket.

Even Tyler Matheson isn't the slightest bit interested.

 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:23 | 770277 razorthin
razorthin's picture

and Faber's turning into a phat phuck.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:51 | 770604 rocker
rocker's picture

Kermit's right on his ass.  Too many donuts.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:29 | 770284 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Yeah...that new hairdo makes her look even more predatory than she normally does...Now she looks like a fucking Peregrine Falcon. Maybe after her insane book managed to get published, she feels like she needs to wrap up and stop the back-arching to be taken seriously. Well...the only thing I EVER took seriously about her was her boobs.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:31 | 770297 suteibu
suteibu's picture

My head just exploded listening to Pisani.  Never got to the phat phuck.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:36 | 770432 velobabe
velobabe's picture

kevin caron, w/stiff us st. nic?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:30 | 770274 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

         Seems like it may be appropriate to post this again for anyone who missed it and cares.

 

               The Sexy Stupidity of CNBC

Ok….I will admit it up-front: I do watch CNBC. Why I watch CNBC, I am not sure. Its surely isn’t for the cutting-edge economic analysis, nor the dynamic program content or the even temper of the pundits. I guess the sad, awful truth is it has more to do with tits and asses than anything else. Of course, the loss of Liz Claman to Fox Business certainly did not help in that respect, but there are still ample reasons to keep the channel firmly locked on CNBC, with the volume necessarily muted.

If there is one person (other than Jim Cramer and Larry Kudlow) whose opinion I value less than all others, it is Michelle Caruso Cabrera. Politically she is an absolute fucking idiot. She is so biased to the political right, and so sure of the supreme wisdom of unfettered capitalism, that she reminds me of one of those Picasso paintings of a man with one eye on one side of his head….blind to all except the narrow angle of vision of that one eye. But, as long as the volume is muted, then it is kind of perversely enjoyable to watch her flash her fake tits through those tight sweaters. The only problem with this scenario is that even with her scorching voice muted…you can watch her face and sink into a grinding rage because you know exactly what she is saying: When she sticks her tits into Robert Reich’s liberal face and those lipstick-slashed lips start hammering away like a top fuel hemi….you just know she is calling him a fuckwit for ever doubting the conservative, capitalistic wisdom of Enron and Glenn Beck. Or, conversely, she is admonishing him for believing that Social Security is kind of a nice thing for old, poor people to have.

And, there is B-cup Burnett. Ok, she kinda fall’s short in the pulchritude department, and her nose is more Cyrano De Berjerac’s than Mona Lisa’s, but she does at least try to maintain a more muted capitalist rabidity than does MCC (Michael Pinto notwithstanding). She has a decent ass, of sorts, is not knock-kneed like MCC, and as long as you look at her face in frontal view instead of profile, as a Money Honey she stacks up reasonably high on the erecto-meter.

The newest bank skank to debut on CNBC is the undoubtedly sexy Amanda Drury. This Aussie import is a welcomed addition to the existing lineup of credit cunts. I really have no idea what her ideology is, nor do I care….but she does have a fine arts degree, so probably finds Larry Kudlow to be a barely tolerable ass….even when he is coked up. Despite all her charms, there is one problem with her…..her teeth look vaguely crocodilian, but is made up for because unlike MCC, who acts like a carnivore, she just looks like one.

I guess at some point I have to mention some of the male lineup here: Jim Cramer, well…he doesn’t have tits, and although he is an ass, he doesn’t seem to have much of one. If one had to pick somebody in the world NOT to take investment advice from, JC would top the list. This guy changes his opinion like Maria Bartiromo changes her hair styles. He is all over the map. One day, King Kong Amyl Nitrates is a BUY BUY BUY…..and the very next day the KKAN CEO is up one the Wall of Shame and their future outlook wallowing in the House of Pain. He is also a shameless bastard in that he uses ever opportunity to tout himself……not being able to form a paragraph without it being wrapped around his “Charitable Trust” or the fact that he was once a Hedge Fund manager – albeit a crooked one. Well, anybody these days who is proud of being a Hedge Fund manager is either a damn fool, or is totally insane….both being highly descriptive of our boy Cramer.

No treatise on televised finance would be complete without mention of the poster boy of coke-head economists: Larry Kudlow. Larry is of course a confirmed free marketeer, and a rabid Republican….and proud of both. Never mind that Larry is almost always wrong – that is to be expected from any economic prognosticator who is stupid enough to broadcast his opinions on national TV, what bothers me about him is the tone of his show: argumentative, confrontational and full of sage, dumb-fuck advise. Another thing unfortunate about Larry is when he gets his motor boat going on some Keynesian crap he works himself up into such a lather he starts sounding like an 80 year old woman who has just discovered speed. But, I love Larry. He failed upward so successfully that it should give everyone hope that if he can do it, so can the most despicable loser in Christendom.

Dennis Kneale. I only mention this wonky bed-wetter because CNBC finally smartened up enough to fire his miserable ass.

Most of the other male pundits on CNBC are duller than stale dishwater. Mark Haines has a reasonable sense of humor, and does manage to carry on some reasonably interesting banter with B-cup Burnett, even if it is about tomatoes. The only thing I can pass on about David Faber is that the CNBC producers need to provide him with either elevator heels or a lift stool. Simon Hobbs seems to be some sort of off-handed Euro-trash addition, mainly for his accent, since there seems to be no other apparent reason for hiring him.

I don’t wake up early enough anymore to listen to Joe Kernan, which subconsciously is probably why I sleep late anyway. Bob Pisani is pretty vanilla in a tiresome kind of way. No matter what is happening in the market, Pisani always seems to have a seemingly well thought out answer….if shares in Tampex is down and stock in Gorilla Dildos is up, Bob can be counted on to lay out some complex divergence scenario at play in the underlying linked fundamentals. It’s all bullshit of course, but it sounds good to the idiot producers and probably sends what few fools who are still trading in the market running to their computers to calculate the PE ratios of both companies. Rick Santelli….the Great Santelli, the father of the Tea Party Crowd. The Rickster is probably my favorite hairy-legged type on financial TV. He always seems to be surrounded by drama – standing in the pit in Chicago with a bunch of bond-trading thugs. And, he always manages to piss Steve Liesman off….and anyone who can send Liesman chasing around after his own tail in impotent rage, is my kind of guy. An odd thing about Rick, although he may be the most financial savvy pundit on CNBC, he seems in a curious way to have backed away from the whole Tea Party thing. Maybe it is just me, but he seems oddly embarrassed about the whole thing…..and I can almost sense his palpable derision at some of the crap his CNBC colleagues come up with.

Ok, enough of that shit…back to the LIBOR whores. Sue Herrera is the lynchpin of CNBC in that she has been there the longest. For obvious reasons, Sue will never flash her tits or wiggle her ass for the benefit of the viewers. For one, she probably considers it beneath her, and second….well, she is fatter than a market hog. She is not bad looking in the face for an oldster, and probably is passable in a closing time/beer goggle sense. As far as I am concerned, she is more of a volume ON type.

Bertha Coombs seems pretty bright, and she is kind of sexy in a mature, Cuban kind of way. She does however, seem like a pretty tough broad: somebody who would slit you throat, then kick you in the nuts as you lay dying for bleeding on her shoes. Sharon Epperson is kind of cute, and she seems vulnerable standing there in the trading pit of the New York Mercantile Exchange. We rarely get any body shots on her, so it is hard to tell how hot she really is.

I can’t really put my finger on Melissa Lee. She is Asian, which should be a plus, but she is SO Asian it seems to have a boomerang effect. Her body seems to have all the required parts, but they seem to be put together by a weird kind of genetics that has more in common with Leggos than female biology.

Trish Regan, Becky Quick and, Julia Boorstin I lump together as all certainly being fuckable…but not near as sexy or as intriguing as Diana Olick….plus, Olick knows what the fuck she is talking about. Suzie Orman is like all other personal financial advisers in that she has the same dim-witted advice, but from a sex standpoint, forget it. No matter how they shade her makeup, comb her hair or try to jam her fat ass in Barbie clothes, she is a non-starter. She couldn’t get humped on a bad night in Juarez.

Melissa Francis cannot get out of the shadow of her own loud mouth. She sounds like a bullfruit with bad adenoids, or a Larry Kudlow with balls. But, I guess she might be decent in bed, if you could shut her up. Wait a minute…did I just say that? No, that ball-busting bitch would critique you on everything from the shape of the bones in your knees to your politics.

Fuck that.

And, we are finally here….the original Money Honey herself. Maria Bartiromo. Nobody seems to really know how old she, but she never seems to age beyond 40. Her classic Italian beauty has not really changed much in the last 20 years…oh yeah, her ass has ballooned out some, and her thighs probably look like mutant beer brats, but covered up and coiffured she is still one of the hottest. Of course, she certainly takes advantage of the people she covers, well, mainly their private airplanes, and if you stripped the words “new money” and “environment” from her vocabulary she would barely be eloquent enough to call the hogs. But, she remains an institution in herself – and one ultimately not to be fucked with: If you want to get into that, ask Dylan Ratigan.

I do not have one slim dime invested in the stock market. I do not own a single bond or covet any commodity. Yet, I watch CNBC. And, Ok….I shamefully admit that I do not always keep the volume down…only when Kudlow or MCC comes on. It is, after all, difficult to track which set of tits might be front-and-center without the voice cues. If CNBC would fire Kudlow and Francis (who refuses to dress sexy), and maybe keep Melissa Lee - who knows, I might get horny for Cubism at some point, and yes, unfortunately…keep MCC….but gag her and dress her up in a halter top, and only air above-waist shots….And oh yeah, Hire Liz Claman back from Fox, she is wasted over there, they dress her up like a fucking school-marm. And just for my sake, do some reversion back to the old days…..cleavage, tight sweaters, and that pouty-lip look like she is fixing to suck the wide-angle lens off the snout of an IMAX camera. That just might make the nut.

Yes, CNBC is stupid, biased and the center of their universe revolves around a subject most people find boring and frankly criminal. But, it is no worse than most sitcoms and reality shows. And even the totally beastly Michelle Caruso Cabrera, with her cock-sure bias and black, Republican heart, has tits that most prime-time actresses would pay for, like well…she did.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:03 | 770472 Cdad
Cdad's picture

What is most fascinating about your post is that you think it important enough to post again and again and again....this despite the fact that a child might have more properly written on the subject.

But pay me no never mind, as I know you will post it again and again...and what is more, I know why.

Cdad was here...and you are an idiot.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:41 | 770565 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Hey, thanks for the compliments, bud!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:39 | 770740 rocker
rocker's picture

Let me make this easy for all. The only reason you watch them is because Bloomberg is too stupid to copy their

tickers format.  That's all they have.  The best ticker information of data which is really bogus anyway.

But we do watch. For that alone.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 00:16 | 770837 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

simon hobbs is a morphing of c3po and a gay jude law.

 

 

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 02:50 | 771123 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I heard that about Bartiromo and the private plane trip from China.  Also I think the one that has real brains is Orlick and Sue Herrera.  You are correct that Sue has porked up, but she's hot in that I need ass and it's 3:00 in the morning.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 14:11 | 772419 velobabe
velobabe's picture

hey S T A R i think this is a repost. liked it back then when†

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:22 | 770276 moofph
moofph's picture

...this network shames the letters of the alphabet.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:23 | 770278 Bruce Krasting
Bruce Krasting's picture

It will be very interesting to see what happens. Brian Roberts has something to prove and some money to make. Therefore, same old same old is not going to work.  Some "favorite' faces will be gone soon.

If I were Roberts I would make a rule for everyone on air. If they cheer-lead markets, even once, they are off the air for a month. They go to the penalty box for the idiotic reporting we now get. If they grin and smile and make jokes when markets are green and get sad and grumpy and serious faced when they are red, they are off tv.

If Roberts did do this there would three significant consequences:

(A) The ratings would improve.

(B) Mark Haines would be unable to have 5 minutes of tv time without his upside view of everything being obvious to all. MH would gone in days.

(C) As a result of B, Roberts would get more A.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:27 | 770288 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Is there any way they can get rid of the faces and keep the boobs? I mean, that is the challenge...right?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:39 | 770434 velobabe
velobabe's picture

OH the many challenges we face in life, STAR†

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:45 | 770443 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

I know...I tend to agonize over the more important things in life.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:27 | 770527 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Dear Bruce,

Your analysis of Haines is quite spot on.  I'm not sure how many more times I can hear about his tomato plants...you know, as the republic falls into ashes.

I wrote him not too long ago.  He had a mortgage banker on and the subject was what was going on with MERS [although he did not refer to this entity specifically].  There he had one of the culpable on his show, one of those bankers that destroyed the underwriting and then pledged the mortgage twice or thrice to multiple investment vehicles.  And despite the fat target there in his sights, and despite online reporting for days on the subject of "The rocket docket," poor, hapless Haines showed himself to be either entirely ill prepared...or complicit in the banking crimes going on right now, coast to coast.

Comcast is going to have to do much more than suggest penalties.  Half of this staff, at least, will have to go immediately after the deal closes.  Mark my words.

Respectfully,

 

Cdad.....was here

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:06 | 770652 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Maybe they will hire you....that would just about be spot on, old chap.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:14 | 770674 phat tails
phat tails's picture

I feel your pain. I wrote to Mark Haines about the exact same issue and was equally disappointed when he gave that smug fraudsta a pass. I think all of those paint chips Mark ate as a child is starting to catch up with him.  The senile coward should be the first to go.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:38 | 770309 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Cramer is a cult phenomenon. He is just like all the brainless personal trainers, life coaches, personal investment advisors, alternative medicine gurus and all the other shit-hooks that use personality and PT Barnum antics to sell you something. He will always have a following...no matter how much money he costs them in bad investments. If there were not followers of the in-your-face-dumb, then Cramer and his ilk would not exist. They are just taking advantage of a market that exists.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:48 | 770446 RoRoTrader
RoRoTrader's picture

Fire away........that was so fucking good I will have to re-read all of it again.  LOL.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:39 | 770313 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

CNBS is a 24 hour-7day a week INFOMERCIAL for the banksters, investment biz and limo divers - nuff said...

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:44 | 770323 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

My favorite thing about old CNBS clips is looking at the PM vs stock prices.

From this clip:

Gold - $681

Silver - $13

Dow - 13,968

S&P - 1,545

Naz - 2,696

The most embarassing part is admitting that I used to believe they were talking about real stuff.  It took me way too realize what a bunch of shitheads they are.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:19 | 770402 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

An oldie, but always to be remembered when feeling oneself slipping into the vortex.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/23522110/

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 00:25 | 770874 mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

THAT'S A CLASSIC!!!!

Dick Bove: March, 2008 - Citi @ 20 "opportunity of a lifetime"

Agreed.  How often can you lose 95% in a year?

Too funny!

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 04:11 | 771197 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Ahh the good old dayze, I miss watching Jeff Macke trying to keep the pin locks of his brain from letting the cogs go loose.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:14 | 770336 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

The ShamWow guy is more interesting than Cramer, the Clown. 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:54 | 770348 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

Haines is more interested in tomatos than finance.....but, he has tenure, just like my ex-girlfriend, Maria. Joe Kernan....he is almost a lost cause, I would however, suggest to Comcast that they dress him up in drag, maybe with a bonnet like a rural, Russian housewife. He wouldnt make any more sense, but it would be damn funny to watch. Erin Burnett better watch those legs...you rarely see then, since they are covered by the info (well...sorta info) screens at the bottom of the telly. Saw them yesterday, and, she has a baby-fat problem...of course, she is the "international" guru for CNBC, so that, I guess, makes her more of an experienced reporter than her cohorts. Bullshit. She better slim down those legs. I have lived long-term in 14 different countries, and visited....I have no idea how many, I could care less about her "international" perspective, I want to see that ass slimmed down and showcased more.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:48 | 770449 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

I hope she gets uterine cancer.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:01 | 770467 Cdad
Cdad's picture

What a stupid thing to say.  Are you 12?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:08 | 770477 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

No.  I'm 41 and I meant it.  It's not like she's ever going to use it anyway.  Thank God.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:11 | 770486 Aristarchan
Aristarchan's picture

That is certainly giving him the benefit of the doubt......

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:56 | 770352 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Cramer getting skewered the day Goldman's stock crashed the day the market topped in April 2010.

 

 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 20:59 | 770355 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Corncast is worse than dish and believe me dish sucks.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 21:20 | 770398 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

Ive always hated boddiwomo, the barren, speech impedimented tony danza-in-drag fag hag sheepshead bay OTB clerk, but that is NOTHING in comparison to the burning hatred I have for burnett, the CFR's traitorous butt slut.  I hope something really bad happens to that demented bitch.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:21 | 770506 montanassky
montanassky's picture

Jim Crame has a new show it is called "Dow 30000 and beyond" is coming Jan 2011.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:28 | 770530 akak
akak's picture

"Dow 30,000 YEN"

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:27 | 770526 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

I'm afraid you ALL have forgotten the basic premise that any publicity is good publicity. If we all can't simply ignore these people we are feeding the beast. I suggest a 100% complete ZH boycott of anything related to television 'news'. Anything else is capitulation. Anytime you write about pathetic b-cups you feed the beast. Anytime you bitch about loudmouth Cramer/kudlow etc you feed the beast. Let's just stop talking about how obnoxious/pathetic/flat chested they are and IGNORE them. That is the only way to slay the beast.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:46 | 770583 optimator
optimator's picture

Nothing wrong with CNBC, one very minor change and they've got a winner with a huge dedicated audience.  One small change and their ratings will soar, with Cramer's ratings soaring above that.  Drop the CNBC logo and call it THE COMEDY CHANNEL II. 

Test my theory.  Say Mark Haines and Jim Cramer to yourself and see if you don't laugh?

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:55 | 770616 Richard Whitney
Richard Whitney's picture

MORE AMANDA!

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:03 | 770644 liberal sodomy
liberal sodomy's picture

She has a face and a voice made for anal.

Thu, 12/02/2010 - 09:07 | 771342 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

She already made that one clear:

Amanda Drury Goes Down Under with Joe Terranova ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfvzs_k2Jos 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:55 | 770618 colonial
colonial's picture

Like many above, I either track bloomberg or cnbs with the sound off and the cc on.  every once in a while cnbs will get a guest who can actually impart knowledge, same with bloomberg, but they're few and far between.   

What is so shameful is that the anchors seem to always want to keep the exchanges short and stupid.  When guests begin to discuss important but technical subjects often times cnbs staff cuts off the segment.  This is insane.  Since the credit crisis broke the global capitalist system, the issues are far more complex, yet here is cnbs dumbing it down and shortening up segments. 

I'm more worried about Bloomberg as they seem to want to follow cnbs.  Why can't we have a newsfeed that actually works to explain these incredibly complex and dynamic markets. 

Unfortunately, since ZH refuses to reveal its staff we're stuck with what we've got.  Its pretty much all lousy with Bloomberg being the best of the worst. 

Tell me why we all keep watching? 

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 22:58 | 770625 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Erin needs to flirt more with the guests or Jim.

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:07 | 770658 goldmiddelfinger
goldmiddelfinger's picture

Someone hit Maria in the face flush with a 2X4 and I assume it wasn't her dad's mafia crew

Wed, 12/01/2010 - 23:11 | 770665 BruceH
BruceH's picture

Very disappointed to hear the criticism of hard hitting Joe Kernan....

When he asks a guest "do you think the market will be up today?", I just can't imagine the intellect behind that fine face...

 

I did send him an email once, telling him that I thought he looked a bit like the Pillsbury Dougboy, and he responded immediately that he was going to start dieting...

 

the guy has it going on..

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