It's Really On: JPM Tells CNBC It Is Systematically Reviewing Foreclosures

Tyler Durden's picture


We predict that within a week, all banks will halt every foreclosure currently in process. Within a month, all foreclosures executed within the past 2-3 years will be retried, and millions of existing home sales will be put in jeopardy.

And like that, mortgage fraud goes global. JPM stock down on the news, as the American foreclosure process is now effectively shut down. More as we get it.

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goldmiddelfinger's picture

Numerous divergences and trend breaks 15m ES. Way to go Jp Mo

cindycheng's picture

I want to express my admiration of your writing skill and ability to make readers read from the beginning to the end. I would like to read newer posts and to share my thoughts with you. oilseed expeller

MrMorden's picture

Squatters, bitchez!  

The Rock's picture

...and iphones and ipads and blackberries and netbooks and 3D LED HDTVs and ...

S.W.A. - Squatters with Attitudes (not Southwest Airlines)... 

snowball777's picture

And brain cancer, and pancreatic cancer, and...

breezer1's picture

i wore a dress to the bar once. i didn't have to buy a beer all night. wife won't let me have it anymore, says i just come home drunk.

NoVolumeMeltup's picture

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

New_Meat's picture

Bawney, "Hot Bottom" will be so jealous. ;-0's picture

is that you cogdog? i never seen you in a dress, but  bet you have one.

Commander Cody's picture

Many gays wearing dresses on this site, including a few females I bet.  If you are offended, then leave.

ElvisDog's picture

But when you wear a dress life is so free and airy. Plus you can accessorize (not as good in written form without the inflection).'s picture

dresses, skirts and high heel, bitches†

bet a lot of you guyz, seriously, would like to dress up.

New_Meat's picture

what's it like, I've never been that way before.

-- Ned

akak's picture

you are gay, flaming homo who wears dresses

And you are clearly a repressed, personalityless drone who wears the prison uniform commonly known as the business suit.

But thank you for the most puerile and inane comment ever posted on ZeroHedge, next to the textual diarrhea of HarryWanger and JohnnyBravo.  I do believe that 45 junks (and counting!) are a new record here.


PS: Whatever happened to the virilently pro-Wall Street trolling of HarryWanger?  His few posts lately that I have seen have been positively tepid in comparison to his former radical bullishness.

Cathartes Aura's picture

whoa! and thank you akak for helping some of us late-comers to make sense of this string. . .

tho' of course, not everyone here makes sense even with interps. . .

nuinut's picture

seconded, on both points.

Problem Is's picture

"Squatters, bitchez!"

Fraudulent MBS and Foreclosures from JPM, bitchez...

      Jail for Jamie Dimon, bitchez...

           Madoff time bitchez...

Turd Ferguson's picture


Looks like I'm not going to have to make my October mortgage payment after all.

Daddy's headed to Vegas!

Dr. No's picture

What are you talking about?  Vegas?


What Vegas?

We're going to Vegas.


Turd Ferguson's picture

Jack Daniels, blackjack & strippers.

Though not necessarily in that order.

ZackAttack's picture

Jack Daniels, blackjack & strippers.

Then, the rest of it, you'll just blow.


Joeman34's picture

Zack, by my estimation, 3/4 of your comments on this site contain some reference to cocaine.  I think it's time to consider you may have a problem...

chopper read's picture

who junks this?  its a classic.

"i spent most my money on booze and women, and the rest i just sqaundered."


chopper read's picture

who junks this?  its a classic.

"i spent most my money on booze and women, and the rest i just sqaundered."


chopper read's picture

who junks this?  its a classic.

"i spent most my money on booze and women, and the rest i just sqaundered."


chopper read's picture

who junks this?  its a classic.

"i spent most my money on booze and women, and the rest i just sqaundered."


New_Meat's picture

kinda' got it the first time ;-)

Uncle Remus's picture

Whoa. Glitch in the Matrix. Matrix.'s picture

turd obviously your probaly a dude wanting strippers. but can you tell me what a woman would want. jack daniels/vodka, ...............  &     ??????????????

Sausagemaker's picture

a) Diamonds

b) Shoes

c) Sven the Swole-up Swedish Masseuse 

NoVolumeMeltup's picture

someone to notice her and pretend her inane ramblings about the Fall TV lineup is interesting.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I think you may have just explained to me why I'm usually alone.

StychoKiller's picture

Most women just want someone to really listen to them and care that they exist -- sorry ladies, I'm already married (coming up on 26 years).

still kicking's picture

That's actually my preferred order, I like to be drunk and either happy because I won or depressed because I lost before I go see the strippers.

tmosley's picture

Damn, I knew I was being stupid when I paid off my house in cash.

Oh well.

puckles's picture

No kidding.  I've been feeling that way for a while now.  Who knew?  And if this doesn't work, there's always hyperinflation...

Iam_Silverman's picture

No kidding!  Debt free here, and no iPad, iPod or any iThing!

Maybe I can kid myself about the honor in satisfying my committments and being a man of my word?'s picture

robo has an itit.

or itities.

Cathartes Aura's picture

can't have "sitting ducks" if they're roamin'. . . ponder the intentions behind the action. . .

johngaltfla's picture

Good luck using the ATM's. The banks should be shuttered for a week while they figure out this con game....

Uncle Remus's picture

Yep. Grabbed some "holiday" cash today.

Ragnarok's picture

Heather Gray Swan?