Ivory Coast Splinter Dictator Captured By French Forces, Handed Off To Rebels; Cocoa Plunges

Tyler Durden's picture

And like that, we now have one less conflict. From Reuters "French special forces have detained Ivory Coast's Laurent Gbagbo and handed him to leaders of the rebel opposition, after French tanks forced their way into his residence, a Gbagbo adviser in France said. "Gbagbo has been arrested by French special forces in his residence and has been handed over to the rebel leaders," Toussaint Alain told Reuters." We would prefer not to visualize what happens to Gbagbo in the hands of his news captors. Importantly, considering the primary determinant in cocoa prices YTD has been the ongoing civil war in the African country, the promise of an end to hostilities sends Cocoa prices plunging, dropping the 10 metric ton contract by nearly $100 in the span of seconds.

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SWRichmond's picture

House of Saud: take note.

caconhma's picture

Algeria comes to my mind.

Then, we will see the real french military capabilities and its dwarf supremo comendanto brilliance.

tonyw's picture

Time to redeploy to Libya for another short operation.

caconhma's picture

This is exactly what Bush, the Congress, and the rest of zionist puppets thought would happen.

Well, bye-bye the American dream. Bye-bye the American empire...

caconhma's picture

This exactly what Bush, the Congress, and the rest of zionist puppets thought would happen.

Well, bye-bye the American dream. Bye-bye the American empire...


What is Hezbollah doing in Libya fighting Qaddafi? After all, they fucked Israeli "supermen" big time.

Finally, don't forget Yemen. It is an America nightmare!

Sudden Debt's picture

That guys should be put on a liquid salt infuse mixed with adrenaline and be cut slowely in 5mm pieces starting from his little toe and forcefeeded with his own bodyparts.





Moric's picture

Seem a bit excessive... Would you seriously want someone tortured that way?

Sudden Debt's picture

Yes. I'm a firm believer for the "eye for a eye, arm and backbone" principle.


weinerdog43's picture

I'm sorry, but that's simply appalling.  He may get what's coming to him, but torture is unacceptable. 

Pool Shark's picture


Was Christopher Walken involved in the operation?


LFMayor's picture

+ one Fredrick Forsyth


barkingbill's picture

gbagbo isn't any worse in my view then the other guy who we support who is a total neoliberal....sell out your country to the IMF kind of guy. 

AnAnonymous's picture

In  this US world order, this makes him the better man.

spiral_eyes's picture

gbagbo just another puppet, just another wannabe warlord. save the sadism for heinz.

frenchie's picture


not so long ago Gbagbo was a "grand ami de la République"...

augie's picture

Hah, you know its a sad day for uncle sam when the frogs have to step up to the plate to end a conflict.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Côte d'Ivoire is a former French colony, they were stepping up to the plate there for the last 100 years at least.

augie's picture

if by stepping up to the plate you mean oppressing the people of the ivory coast since 1893 then I agree. They were real quick to protect coca interests back in 02' as well.

BorisTheBlade's picture

No, by this I meant 'messing with local affairs' without any judgemental attachment whether the French were oppressing or liberating Ivory Coast. It's quite subjective in the end, usually it works in one of the two ways: if 'we' are replacing some democratically elected dictator for our son of a bitch, then we are liberating, if someone else does the same, then it's called oppression. And then another big thing is whether the African countries are better off by themselves, Zimbabwe aka Rhodesia comes to mind, which is also a matter of a long debate. TIA.

AnAnonymous's picture

Nothing to debate.  Duplicity all the way. The conditions of the locals were propaganda to suit the colonial powers agenda.

The only thing that the locals earned in the process is a dramatic  report on  their conditions. When  they were under colonial dominion, everything was rosy and all, great improvements and all. Mere propaganda.

In the US world order, duplicity reigns supreme. Governments fix the reports anytime it suits them.

For example, propaganda has it that the colonial powers ended slavery during their occupation in those parts of the world.  Mere talks supported to avoid facing the very reality that all the colonial powers had slavery under their authority.

Before they entered, slavery was. When they were in, slavery was. When they left, slavery was. The only thing the locals earned or lossed in the process is that during the colonial  oppression, slavery was kept a hush hush.

Tibet and China are a different story as China ended effectively slavery in Tibet.

It is all about propagated conditions of life to suit western colonial powers. So the debate is pretty short as debates should be grounded in reality, not fantasies.

MachoMan's picture

Hopefully it won't end like vietnam...

caconhma's picture

Hopefully, it will end up worse than Vietnam. So Americans will see there are a lot of things to fix in America.

MachoMan's picture

We see the problems...  they're everywhere and undeniable...  we just don't want to fix any of them because it means individual sacrifice and the collective is every bit if not a worse moral actor...

franzpick's picture

Cocoa weekly still intact and parabolic.

TideFighter's picture

Damn, those Special French E'clair de Forces are tough.


falak pema's picture

They are called 'force de frappe'...code name : Licorne...'eclair' is chocolate cake...very appropriate to Ivory coast!

High Plains Drifter's picture

backed my armor and air assets against african irregulars......yawn....not impressed.....

Sudden Debt's picture

The US has the toys but the French have some mean ass military.

If the French stationed somewhere, they always make a PR mess out of it because of their brutality.

They also still have a legionnaires force who do special ops and are made up out of crooks and savages.

It's typical that Americans think of their army as the best, but I don't think the US has many forces that can take on those guys. And once the money dries up to fund the US toys, they US will really need those guys if they still want to represent something.


High Plains Drifter's picture

well i don't care about if my army is the best or not. i would like it to come home and be disbanded. i am not interested in whose army is the best. that is the bailiwick of fools.

falak pema's picture

Yes but the République is like a fickle queen of old Bourbon lignage...Let him eat french cake as he won't let us eat cocoa, that's intolerable. We have plenty of that in France. He can come in golden exile here and let us run his country for him. After all we know more about Cocoa than he does. 


PS : I hope the price of coffee comes down now!

Kina's picture

Gadafi take note. The longer he stays the longer his death will be.

Global Hunter's picture

Looks like the French will succeed in getting their IMF puppet in place, the one who likes to sell Ivorian assets to the French on the cheap.  Nice work France.

High Plains Drifter's picture

does this mean that france will be taking a bigger part now, in the global "war on terror"  i must say, they are getting just a tad froggy as of late......hmmm?

AnAnonymous's picture

the one who likes to sell Ivorian assets to the French on the cheap.


Actually, it is also something else.

The French have woven a network of fixed public contracts in order to subsidize their firms, as subsidizing is regulated under the EU.

Works pretty simply: the French loan money to those countries so they can  build inadequate infrastructure projects. The job is given to a french company that receives indirectly french money: subsidizes.

Countries like Japan  have given up bidding for those contracts and even bypass the paid shill in position in order to give to charity as they know the money is going to finish as a hidden  subsidize for the french companies.

Money laundering...

Rodent Freikorps's picture

The French are just re-enforcing the lesson for any dictators who might have forgotten that sub Saharan Africa is French turf.

Or, the rebels being muslim, this could be payback for the Arab League giving a nod to taking down Daffy.

High Plains Drifter's picture

but, but, but, i  thought these african nations were free and independent nations.

Rodent Freikorps's picture

The CFA franc (in French: franc CFA [f??? se?f?], or colloquially franc) is the name of two currencies used in Africa which are guaranteed by the French treasury.

CFA Francs are used in fourteen countries: twelve formerly French-ruled African countries, as well as in Guinea-Bissau (a former Portuguese colony) and in Equatorial Guinea (a former Spanish colony).


Ivory Coast is one of those 14.


anynonmous's picture

And to think he could have been enjoying a splendid lunch on the terrace of his Paris penthouse if he had gone away quietly, instead he finds himself hanging by his nuts in some bamboo dungeon

ibjamming's picture

It's the type of personality...it's what get's them there in the first place...but it's also what KEEPS them there long past their "prime".  What you suggest is what "I" would do...but then, I don't have the personality to be a dictator either.



falak pema's picture

This is part of a new paradigm for Africa : we're back! but this time it's not us Westerners, not our puppet local dictators, but UN/IMF surrogate puppets. That makes it kosher from 'human rights' view point. But we still know how to count in terms of balance of trade...

ibjamming's picture

This is part of a new paradigm for Africa : we're back!


And why not?  What the fuck did the Africans do with Africa after we gave it back?  Nothing...  I say use it or lose it.

falak pema's picture

It wasn't yours to "give back"! When you understand that you'll start becoming a normal human being. 

AnAnonymous's picture

Do you have spare room  where you live?

If yes, use it or lose it.

snowball777's picture

Buy the Chocolate Dip!

slewie the pi-rat's picture

jeeez, snoball!  great new look!  first thought: don't eat the orange snow.  (zappa, ok?  don't eat the yellow snow...).  2nd thought:  is that an apron or is he doin a men in tights thingy for artists?  anyway, i can't tell if you're curling yer lashes or plucking yer eyebrows...and i think i'll just tell ya how fabulous the look (!) and just not ask anything else, ok?

Rockfish's picture

Everyone has thier vise, for the US it's oil for the French it's chocolate.