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Jamie Dimon “I Wouldn’t Panic About What I’m About To Say..."

Tyler Durden's picture


Reports Bloomberg: "JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon said some municipalities will need to renegotiate their debt and that hundreds of them may “not make it.” “I wouldn’t panic about what I’m about to say,” he said today at a U.S. Chamber of Commerce event in Washington. “You’re going to see some municipalities not make it. I don’t think it’s going to shatter America, I just think it’s a part of the credit cycle." Precisely: and it is precisely the part that JP Morgan comes in and offers sale leaseback offers to said munis, and other ingenious financial solutions that see munis selling their assets to the bank which after the Fed, has the biggest balance sheet, and can thus offer to engage in some even more creative asset-liability mismatch. Also explains why unlike Meredith, Jamie will not only not be asked to come in and testify to congress over his abrasive observations of an insolvent American reality, but will be lauded as a hero as he will provide funding to buy insolvent municipalities a year or two of time, which upon expiration will see Jamie end up with even more assets formerly belong to taxpayers, but by then everyone in the current District of Corruption cadre will be long gone with their part of the spoils. And so the "credit cycle" turns.


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Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:42 | 1118197 Rahm
Rahm's picture

Jamie Dimon:


"Eat crow, bitches"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:45 | 1118200 Rahm
Rahm's picture

Flock of Crows:


"We'd rather eat the Jamie Dimon of the JP Morgue"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:48 | 1118223 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture


First of all, you're a slimy white-collar criminal bankster bitch.

Second, judging by your active manipulation in commodities, Mr. Fraudster-Dimon, I'd say you're the one showing signs of panic.

Silver taken down bigtime today, only to rally back up almost 1% above opening price.  300 days of that and.......

That's what I call defeat.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:54 | 1118255 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Yeah, silver won't even phase JPM.  Worst case they do a swap with the Fed to take it off their books then they go long and laugh.  When you have the total power to allocate losses to other parties it's not hard to win in every trade.  The American suckers get to eat their losses so I hope everyone is hungry for shit sandwiches.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:59 | 1118282 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

That assumes the counter-party demanding their physical just happily goes away silently.  As the USD sinks, less and less of the large hedgies are going to want a USD cash settlement in lieu of the metal.  Then what?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:11 | 1118323 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Then what?

Then they change the rules mid stream. Don't like it? Make them play by the rules. You see, every day of this insanity is a direct and clear challenge to the people of America in particular and the world in general.

"Don't like it? Then do something about it...................Yeah, I thought you wouldn't."

Not trying to be cruel or in your face here, but this is what it all boils down to. The bully Fed is standing in the school yard with your lunch in his hand and he's saying to you...."Do something little boy."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:16 | 1118382 UGrev
UGrev's picture

CD, you know as well as I do that is must be BEYOND too late for anyone to get pissed off enough to do anything about it. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:31 | 1118447 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I didn't say putting our foot down would fix this mess or make it better. Never even implied that.

What I was saying was that we are being challenged and the reason it goes on is because we, the collective "we", allow it to go on. "We" are not powerless folks. We aren't helpless victims regardless of what we tell ourselves. I'm not talking directly to this board as much as I'm talking to the general population.......who of course wishes to remain the victim and thus won't be reading this or anything else on ZH.

I refuse to be the victim and declare there is nothing I can do to stop it. Of course there is. However, there is no will to do anything about it. Put 10 million people in the streets of 10 cities total and it will begin to slow down. Put 20 million and the powers will get very upset. Put 30 million and it will stop.

I'm talking about stopping the bleeding. The patient might still die even if the bleeding is stopped. Does that we we shouldn't even try? Rhetorical question.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:08 | 1118544 UGrev
UGrev's picture

I wasn't trying to imply that you were implying what you thought I was trying to imply. I agree with you; my assertion is that 10 million people of like mind and equally pissed off will not congregate until it's beyond too late. We are too willing, as you said, to take the whooping. But I think this is mostly because we can't find 10 million, you's and me's that we can trust to absolutely crush the streets of washington. 

Just do me a favor and let me know when the bullets start flying.. at least then I should be able to see who's who and what side I should be on. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:36 | 1118749 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I wasn't trying to imply that you were implying what you thought I was trying to imply.

Sorry if I implied......umm......ah hell, just forget it. :>)

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 18:37 | 1119254 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

James Allen  stated, "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 20:30 | 1119661 UGrev
UGrev's picture

shall we start the cloning process and storm washington?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:23 | 1118414 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

I keep saying this will take much, much longer than anyone has forecasted to go down as in SHTF.  What that means is not that the numbers are wrong but the PTB will do anything to continue.  If that means hiring XE to assist in the patriotic efforts to reflate the bubble (gods work after all) then they will..

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:36 | 1118467 Hansel
Hansel's picture

People die, but corporations can live forever.  The banks will continue to deprive everyone of the assets built and accumulated by generations of people.  The banks are fine with waiting you out, taking free cash from Bernank in the meantime, because you'll die first and cease to be a problem.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 20:46 | 1119701 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Common Law Living Trust bitches.

You can still order them, for now.  Hurry, before the IRS succeeds in getting their injunction.  So far the judge is putting up resistance.

I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 01:49 | 1120451 Dburn
Dburn's picture

Let me interject one possibility. Retirement Funds; this is the big one for the banks. Up till now they have been totally isolated as Americans go broke except by Americans who have to cash them in. The banks are looking at this trend in horror as this is their next target. Shrinkage in retirement funds means less for them  because in 2013, the first order of business for their legislative Ho's will be making 401Ks , IRAs and even pension funds prime targets on the war against the lower 90%. An army of locksmiths(lawyers) will fan out to break those bitches open to satisfy the debts (fraudulent debts made up by the banks as soon as this new legislation gets through) of the people who are going broke before they start tapping them themselves.

They can't wait for Americans to die as they pot of gold will disappear. This is the last great pot of Gold they haven't been able to get their mitts on. It may not be in the news or talked about much it makes total and complete sense especially in the context of George Carlin's (RIP) "we ain't in the club" rant. 

Anyone think they aren't paying out bribes like crazy? This is worth billions too. There will be eBay powered password protected auction site for the votes of all of congress. Bid em up.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:43 | 1118488 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I keep saying this will take much, much longer than anyone has forecasted to go down as in SHTF.


Not necessarily...a Constitutional crisis would do a lot to clarify the mind...and shed light on the FUBAR nature of the current situation.  In the meantime, there are a bunch of new members of the House of Reps that were sent to DC for EXACTLY THIS PURPOSE.

So while I am not forecasting what is about to happen, neither would I make hasty conclusions about how things will simply carry on like they have been carrying on.

In case you have not been paying attention, things are changing at the speed of light...and are entirely unpredictable these days.  And these new and wonderful and modern American Marxist/Banker markets can reprice themselves in minutes.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:55 | 1118830 malikai
malikai's picture

A brief look at the campaign sponsorship for the '10 election leads me to think they may not be in for a constitutional crisis. The last months of congressional activities reinforces that thought.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 23:14 | 1120135 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Thanks for the coherent thought.  However, I have been paying attention to activities in DC and what I find amusing is this motley collection of fools will somehow facilitate a constitutional crisis.  The  system will continue but you continue to pin some hope on the few left in DC with a brain AND a set of cojones, a rare combination indeed within the beltway.

Change is constant as is the overwhelming desire for the vast majority of America to continue the charade..

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 19:20 | 1119423 XenOrbitalEnginE
XenOrbitalEnginE's picture

Hiring me to do what? Did I apply?  Wait, I'm "X_O_E"!  Whew.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:32 | 1118443 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Exactly right CogDis, what rules? Theyre saying 'This is OUR game, see? You dont like it? What are you gonna do about it! NOTHIN, thats what'!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:52 | 1118523 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

TBTF privileges are reserved for the elite.  Municipalities won't be allowed to fail either but for different reasons and by other means.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:54 | 1118529 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I dont agree. Central banksters couldnt care less about municipalities which are largely mom and pops retirement funds. Making them whole for a comfy golden years and paying for their subsidized drugs and food and housing serves a central bankster NOTHING, and thats all that matters today!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:11 | 1118622 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

My point was missed.  We agree.  The municipalities won't be allowed to fail but it will be because the bankers will see an opportunity to take advantage of desperate local politicians trying to keep their constituents happy.  The banksters will be offering loans with onerous terms and when the municipalities default, the banks will be the winners.  Taxpayers will again be on the losing side of that transaction.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:58 | 1118853 DosZap
DosZap's picture

There's plenty We as a collective can do about it.

As Cog Dis said.

30 million in their front yard, would get their attention, and ANY Attempt at martial law to squelch it, would be their ultimate demise.

However, by doing the 99 week routine ,over, and over, they have guaranteed no one coming physically against the machine.

End that,stop SS/MC/(not entitlements BTW),and Welfare to the truly needy, and you have an Ultimate shit sandwich.

And they will be on the eating end.

If they start shooting Americans, and Armageddon is here for the IN CROWD.

Problem is, the Sheeple have not felt enough P_A_I_N, yet.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 19:28 | 1119445 Peter Carson
Peter Carson's picture

As noted below - Time for a new Max Keiser campaign :


Crash the entire Bankstering and Administrative crime syndicates.

Dont pay mortgages, credit card bills, loans, or


Possibly a way to exercise control, by throwing more fuel on fires already burning across mortgage markets.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 19:34 | 1119471 4horse
4horse's picture

...."Do something little boy."


the mere contemplation of which, doing something, results in this----->

soviet, they've long been ready for any such thoughts



Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:12 | 1118352 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

When you have the total power to allocate losses to other parties it's not hard to win in every trade.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:29 | 1118709 naughtius maximus
naughtius maximus's picture

Heads I win, tails you lose. Keep playing the game. One day you'll win for sure.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:15 | 1118645 tiger7905
tiger7905's picture

Some thoughts on a real silver price based on recent comments from Sprott.

JPM can play all they want but in time will get burned. But unfortunately as mentioned will likely get bailed out.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:47 | 1118229 sj213
sj213's picture

you mean "murder"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:18 | 1118386 tmosley
tmosley's picture

If it happened, I would call it a "justice" of crows.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:00 | 1118299 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Too bad he didn't come forward in 2007 and say I see a problem in the sub prime real estate market and specifically the CDO's and related AIG hedges.  Where was he then?


So the "big Short" is on again. Muni's have been priced in. As always, when they say "we don't want you to panic, but...... they really do want you to panic. It sets the trade in motion. Hank Paulson knows this all to well.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:55 | 1118538 So Close
So Close's picture

Actually a "flockof crows" is properly referred to as a "Murder of Crows."   Which I think we may all safely be able to find a little satisfaction in the beauty of the homonym and resulting ironic metaphor.  With safe satisfaction being in such short supply these days I will take it where I can get it.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:51 | 1118242 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture



The bad news is that your pensions have been looted... the good news is that if we take them over, lots of money can be made...some of it perhaps, by you!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:01 | 1118306 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

"...I wouldn't panic about what I'm about to say, but I FUCKING OWN AMERICA BWAAAHHHH HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:13 | 1118369 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Kind of a Bobby Knight quote about enjoying it.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:12 | 1118362 themosmitsos
themosmitsos's picture

What the fuck are you talking about you fucker? :P

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:34 | 1118459 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Meredith luvs Jamie.

Gasparino doesn't.

Municide bitchez.....
Wed, 03/30/2011 - 20:26 | 1119645 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Things will not get better in Amerika/World until at least one of these banker/corporate slag assholes is shot in the head live on CNBC.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:45 | 1118204 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Pennies on the dollar for your pensions, bitchez. Hope the retirees like dumpster divin.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:54 | 1118259 Cdad
Cdad's picture

You know Dog,

If our politicians had any sense or courage, and if they understood anything that has been happening over the last two years, and if they really represented the people, they would not raise the debt ceiling.

By definition, the Ponzi scheme ends when the last man in [Ben Bernanke and the preferred banks] does not have enough to pay off the next man exiting.  As such, this issue of the debt ceiling is the perfect end to the perfect crime that lasted until...just now.  Poof.  

"All Madoff bankers, please report to the justice department.  Thank you."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:58 | 1118284 malikai
malikai's picture

You're implying that congress, the executive, and judicials aren't in on the game. lulz!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:06 | 1118329 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

As someone noted yesterday, once you're elected/work for someone who's elected to congress your CAGR hits a pretty nice percentage.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:07 | 1118330 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Indeed...I am implying that not ALL of them are in on the game.  

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:25 | 1118416 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And those are the ones who are already blackmailed or have been painted as loons by the MSM.

Even if they manage to keep clean and gain some traction in the ideasphere, they will discover their fate is the same as the Kennedy brothers.

The idea that politics represents solutions, and not problems, is a mark of immaturity that was likely ingrained into you from a political school system.

Government is simply the most organized form of crime. To expect criminals to perpetrate crime onto others in your name is pure insanity.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:29 | 1118436 Cdad
Cdad's picture


Listen, I'm sure we would very much agree on the nature of government, how it should be reduced, defunded, shrunk down to paving roads and training an army, etc.  However, April 8 is the deadline. People will be voting...they are in congress. cue up the reply about going into congress guns blazing...right?  You might want to check the mirror for a maturity problem if you somehow think America will not have a government by next week.  Right?  In the meantime, and since I don't believe in the guns blazing approach, let's simply concentrate on the rule of law...which I suspect we BOTH would like to see upheld.  In this case, how it is the responsibility of Congress to determine the debt issue through a vote...and not Ben Bernanke's fiat providence.

Good grief.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 17:08 | 1118889 DosZap
DosZap's picture


let's simply concentrate on the rule of law.

Well, that's the heart of the matter, the sheeple and 98% of the rest of us do.

All the while the PTB, are making new laws and rules as they go along, and daring us to GET IN THEIR face.

We are in a no win situation, unless we're willing to pay the ultimate price.

We're not.

Basically with 9 of 10 of the Commie Manifesto tenets already in our Gvt/schools/laws, we're to put it succinctly Screwed.

We are now, and have been for a while living in a socialist/fascist state.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 18:26 | 1119208 zaknick
zaknick's picture

You're wasting your time; guy's a pussy.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 17:41 | 1118988 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

slewie thinks that w/out QE to well past 4.8.11, Treasury checks will bounce. 

i'm not up to speed b.c the 'tea party' was co-opted so fast, it just made me laugh.  so, since i don't giva flying fuk about the MSM bullshit, iyam not aware of the size of their majorities in the legislative bodies.  can one of you geniuses help me here?

hey!  if they can shut the fuker down and cause mass goobermint "worker" furloughs, and mil RIF, great!  maybe it is possible, i just haven't seen the #'s, is all.  instead of hopium II, howzabouta link?

it seems the Morgue is relying on municipalites to serve up The People's assets to them to keep from any "drastic cuts in services"  which might also be negative for Homeland Security. locally, or any other fukin bullshit reason they care to dream up.  with 2 other guys, a very close friend of mine canvassed the entire city of petaluma, CA, for min. wage @ 30 hr weeks, i might add, about 15 years ago to stop the privatization of the then-needed new sewage treatment plant.  once the common folks understood the "possible" criminal intentions of the city council and "da boys" who were paying for their "vacations" and a few other nice things, too. 

once we got the debate outa the "chamber-controlled" press, and established that the new "private" utility would not be subject to the P.U.C., he said people were running out from the neighboring houses so they wouldn't wake the babies by ringing the doorbells and saying "i'm next, ok?"

the bundles of petitions resembled benny hinn's "prayer requests" and by the  time the elevant P.U.C. Office, which had thus far "played along", of couse, finished weighing the fukers, the rest of that little "agenda item" took less that a minute to resolve.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 01:01 | 1120370 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture
George Carlin – The American Dream

“But there’s a reason. There’s a reason. There’s a reason for this, there’s a reason education SUCKS, and it’s the same reason it will never … ever … EVER be fixed. It’s never going to get any better, don’t look for it, be happy with what you’ve got. … … … BECAUSE … THE OWNERS, OF THIS COUNTRY, DON’T WANT THAT! … … I’m talking about the real owners now … … … … … the BIG owners! … … … The Wealthy … … … … … the REAL owners! … The big wealthy business interests that control things … and make all the important decisions. … … … … Forget the politicians. They are irelevant. … … The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . … you dont. You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. … They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. … They got you by the balls. … … They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying … . . . lobbying, … to get what they want . . . … Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they don’t want . . . they don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. … … They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that . . . that doesn’t help them. Thats against their interests. Thats right. … … They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting FUCKED by a system that threw them overboard 30 FUCKING years ago. … … They don’t want that! You know what they want? They want obedient workers . . . Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. … And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they’re coming for your … Social Security money. … … … They want your retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? … … … They’ll get it . . . they’ll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this FUCKING place! Its a big club, and you ain’t in it! … … … … You, and I, are not in The big club. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care! Good honest hard-working people . . . white collar, blue collar it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means . . . continue to elect these rich COOK SUCKERS who don’t give a FUCK about you. They don’t give a FUCK about you . . . … they don’t give a FUCK about you. …. …. They don’t care about you at all . . . at all . . . at all, and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Thats what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. Its called the American Dream, … cause you have to be asleep to believe it . . .”


-- George Carlin

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:34 | 1118455 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Its THEIR game now! Theyve bought off all the clowngress politicians while america slept, full of good times and bubbles and burgers, flippin houses.

Now the FED and all its people listed on speed dial on Wall St are saying 'Its OUR game now! You dont like it? What are you american people gonna DO about it! NOTHIN, thats what!'

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:58 | 1118541 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Now the FED and all its people listed on speed dial on Wall St are saying 'Its OUR game now! You dont like it? What are you american people gonna DO about it! NOTHIN, thats what!'


Huh?  These guys...these TBTF bankers are always one bad T Bill auction and one FASB change of heart from oblivion.  What do you think happens if the debt ceiling is not raised?  If silver hits $50 next week, how is that going to play on the JP Morgue books?

I don't believe in guns blazing, and neither do I believe complete surrender and apathy.  

There is a place between these extremes...and this place is right in front of your face.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:37 | 1118740 naughtius maximus
naughtius maximus's picture

There will never be a failed T-Bill auction because the fed is doing all the buying. The fed is protecting the dog (the government) that protects them. The federal reserve would be irrelevant in anarchy. The punch bowl will never be taken away. People have more trust in what is in their wallet than any spiritual conception. The concept of God is questioned by everyone at somepoint in their lives. But can you say the same thing about a dollar bill?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:04 | 1118313 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

"Pennies on the dollar for your pensions"

That's the tragedy of all this. The municipalities aren't broke, they have those big bloated pension funds. It's the banks that are broke, so they sink their vampire fangs into the pension funds and bleed them away. Bastards.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:32 | 1118442 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Big bloated pension funds? Yeah, right. The pension funds own the MBS bags of shit. The pension funds are so drastically underwater that those who are expecting to live off their pensions will be in for a rude awakening.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:47 | 1118207 RNC
RNC's picture

"panic" ? that is so 2008...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:04 | 1118318 In Fed We Trust
In Fed We Trust's picture

Tim Geithner:

"We have decided to give these fallen cities to the Chiense to settle some debt issues."

"This will be a booast to our GDP, as many Chiense will desend in on, and live in these fallen cities."

"Let's welcome the Chiense with open arms. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:30 | 1118434 LostWages
LostWages's picture

What will happen to you if you panic.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:46 | 1118208 Live_Free
Live_Free's picture

Executive Officer Jamie Dimon said some municipalities will need to renegotiate their debt and that hundreds of them may “not make it.” 


Is he refering to the municipalities or the sheeple attempting to survive the wealth effect?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 17:41 | 1119023 DosZap
DosZap's picture

hundreds of them may “not make it.” 



Does this mean cities CEASE to exist?

That's the way I read it, and if so, HE damn sure is not the one to make that declaration.Nor assumption.

This is a Finance fkr!!!, albeit one of the most corrupt, and crooked on the planet.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:47 | 1118213 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

I just soooo glad Jamie was wearing his Underdog costume and cape, so I would not be inclined to panic.

The I-131 levels are "really" "really" not something to get out of your chair about, no sirree!

Just more SOP examples?  Just more activation to get out of that chair?


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:45 | 1118215 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Fuck Jamie Dimon and the horse he rode in on.

Thu, 03/31/2011 - 10:27 | 1121242 unununium
unununium's picture

+1 incredibly appropriate cliche

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:48 | 1118225 luk427
luk427's picture

And Meridith Whitney got nailed to the cross for telling it like it is.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:57 | 1118272 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

Precisely!  I was reading the comments to see if anyone else connected these dots.  If not, I was going to post the same exact comment.  +1

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:19 | 1118366 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Tyler connected the dots for the reader.

Also explains why unlike Meredith, Jamie will not only not be asked to come in and testify to congress over his abrasive observations of an insolvent American reality, but will be lauded as a hero as he will provide funding to buy insolvent municipalities a year or two of time, which upon expiration will see Jamie end up with even more assets formerly belong to taxpayers, but by then everyone in the current District of Corruption cadre will be long gone with their part of the spoils.

Yes, it does explain exactly this, TD.  Nice.

Dagong is correct; these are The Credit Wars.  This post describes only one domestic battle, between the banking class and American taxpayers.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:18 | 1118385 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

While PIMPCO tried to put up a song and dance that all was fine and she was a liar. In related news, CNBC President reportedly said: "I don't want to panic you, but Steve Liesman just used the men's room after another 12 taco lunch.."  

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:38 | 1118468 AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

she got blackballed by finanical media  even Gasbagino


Charlie Gasparino Raises The Possibility That Maria Bartiromo and Meredith Whitney Have Had Lobotomies

I think his thread is still open for comments


as is the one at HuffPuke

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:48 | 1118490 luk427
luk427's picture

I think Meridith exposed their scheme before it ran its course. Peter Schiff says she sugar coating the situation.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:56 | 1118842 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

meredith whitney does not know what the fuck she is talking about, jefferson county, the poster child for muni bankruptcy, has even avoided it for the past 3 years, and the reason they are going bankrupt is due to rampant fraud by JPM and couple of local crooks, and peter schiff, even though I like him, is a shitty investor.  BTW, 25% of the year is over and haven't seen a big muni problem yet.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:46 | 1118226 Logans_Run
Logans_Run's picture

What absolute arrogance. Has he forgotten about the part of the credit cycle that came due for him but he avoided it due to Hank and Ben?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:47 | 1118228 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

If Jamie says dont panic, I wont panic.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:49 | 1118230 doggis
doggis's picture

i would KICK jaime diamon in the NUTS, but "JAIME"  is a GIRL'S name!!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:50 | 1118249 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

I want to pronounce it 'hi may'.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:00 | 1118300 Live_Free
Live_Free's picture

Jaime Diamantes dice ciclo de crédito putos!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:48 | 1118236 Horatio Beanblower
Horatio Beanblower's picture

"The full extent of the multibillion-euro black hole in Ireland's bust banks will be detailed on Thursday.

The breathtaking losses in Allied Irish Bank (AIB), Bank of Ireland, Irish Life and Permanent (IL&P) and the EBS building society will be set out as the new coalition Government attempts to finally measure the debt mountain."

Read more:

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:50 | 1118237 digalert
digalert's picture

Jammin Diamonds: "Our enhanced turbo teleport to the FED leaves JPM firmly in the driver seat."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:53 | 1118239 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

I wouldn't expect anything less than expert advice from the people who caused the problems in the first place.

Reagan had it wrong. He should have said the scariest phrase in the English language was "Hi we're from JP Morgan and we're here to help."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:51 | 1118244 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Dimon should be getting his fudge packed at sing-sing.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:02 | 1118297 philgramm
philgramm's picture

Fascism at its finest: gov't goes knowingly goes into debt. Allows corporate interests to come in and save the day. Privatization of public assets. These days you can't tell the difference between your gov't masters and your corporate masters. Long live mussolini!!!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:51 | 1118245 mmlevine
mmlevine's picture

I wonder if Jamie's municipality will make it.  What about Jamie's mom and dad?  Will their municipality make it?

Arrogant prick.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:10 | 1118337 SilverFiend
SilverFiend's picture

Dimon does not have a mom and dad in the traditional sense.  He was spawned from the primordial ooze from the bottom of a swamp.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:14 | 1118633 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Very nice imagery. And so fitting, too.

I would just add that he was fed liquefied kittens and puppies while in-satanic-utero, like all of satan's spawn.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:50 | 1118246 Gloomy
Gloomy's picture


We continue to watch the low volume levitation run as we head towards a denouement of the end of quarter window dressing, Friday’s NFP and the end of QE2 on June 30th. Earnings are good, analyst consensus for 2012 is very strong (too strong?). The hope is that the market might be able to “grow” into a reasonable valuation.

The sell off post Japan was shallow, and the snapback rally has moved up smartly. But as we mentioned yesterday, the volume has been abysmal, and the February highs were not taken out — yet — and they are a stone’s throw away.

Will Friday’s NFP report be a sell the good news situation? The gathering economic strength makes it more likely than not that the liquidity gusher will be turned off at the end of QE2. What might that do to traders thoughts?

And what of the wild card: QE3.

Here’s where things get tricky: It might not matter, because QE3 may already be here.

Keep in mind, Quantitative Easing is a term that was invented in Japan in the 1990s. While many believe that QE3 is dead in the US, from a global perspective, the Bank of Japan’s massive liquidity stimulus and intervention into the bond market is the equivalent of a US QE3.

Relative to the size of their economy, the BoJ spewed the equivalent of their own QE2 — in just 3 days.

How does that liquidity affect how you trade?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:50 | 1118250 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

I heard other snippets of his presentation on CNBS. Don't regulate the banks, raise the debt ceiling, etc. The tone, the presumption, etc. - it was clear one of our Overlords was telling us what we should believe. Fuck you bankers, fuck you.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:52 | 1118251 velobabe
velobabe's picture

jaime jammin diamond, is a cracker nigga†

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:54 | 1118256 ss123
ss123's picture

If things get really bad for me, I'm just going to tell creditors, "Meh, just part of the credit cycle. I wouldn't worry about it."

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:16 | 1118384 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

You ain't done that yet, what your waiting for?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:54 | 1118258 colonial
colonial's picture

This isn't news.  Many have observed that municipalities may well have to re-structure their debt.  The black swan here is whether a State like Illinois is forced into re-structuring.  I'm thinking that every trick in the book will be used to avoid this. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:56 | 1118265 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

A lot of these municipalities already did sale-leasebacks and other such financings for the past 20 years. These were done precisely as an end-run around voter-approval requirements for new debt.

But who cares what the voters think? They're morons. Look who they voted in? The people the do end-runs around voter-approval requirements.

The I-bank / bond lawyer / government cabal marches ever forward

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:56 | 1118266 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Muni crisis is probably another one that will blow over and will soon be forgotten.

Because like everything else, they will just "extend and pretend" and cover up the holes with even more paper.

Why would this situation be any different than all the other financial problems that were solved by printing more paper and marking things up to fantasy land?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:02 | 1118312 lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

another prediction from the genius himself who tells us that the trick to being the world's greatest trader like himself is to ... buy home depot and abbott labs.

in the next breath he tells us securities markets are marked "up to fantasy land," so go long in size.

what a bumpkin wrapped in clownsuit.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:57 | 1118539 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Keep the lips flappin, Catfishmouth.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:50 | 1118810 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

Tell that to the mom and pops that bought Auction Rate Securities from the broker-fucks you shill for...

More than two years after the $330 billion auction-rate securities market froze—deepening the most severe economic crisis since the Great Depression—hundreds or possibly thousands of individual investors are stuck holding the securities.

About $130 billion of retail and institutional investor money remains stranded in the troubled securities, according to SecondMarket, a broker-dealer and secondary market for illiquid assets, and they continue to be a drag on companies' bottom lines.

Auction-rate securities, which were issued by cities, schools, hospitals and others, are long-term debt instruments that are resold with updated interest rates in periodic auctions held by banks. Many investors bought them on the advice of their brokers, who often touted them as a higher-yielding, but still safe, alternative to cash. Then, in early 2008, Wall Street dealers suddenly stopped buying the securities at auction.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:57 | 1118843 Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

Munis boonies, quakes fakes, oil boil, wealth stealth, lobbying bobbling, volume impugn,  . . . reality is too horrible and fantasy is a dream.  Keep dreaming  . . .   keep truckin . . . like a do dah man and eventually you'll be the GRATEFUL dead.

Truckin', like the do-dah man Once told me "You got to play your hand Sometimes the cards ain't worth a damn If you don't lay 'em down" Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me Other times I can barely see Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:57 | 1118268 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Time for Jamie to backstop the Fukushima 50

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:56 | 1118270 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

 I just think it’s a part of the credit cycle


I'm supposing it's that part after the banks blow up the fucking world, move all the private obligations onto the public balance sheet, then call for government austerity.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:33 | 1118450 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

and then go in to to pick off the few remaining pieces.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:56 | 1118274 10kby2k
10kby2k's picture

Every article today is right on the truth. Whats the big deal? The municipalities over spent and the bill is due. That is not hard to understand.

Austerity isn't a walk in the park. Time to make sacrifices at all levels and pay for a decade long party.

Oh yea, exempt me from my portion of the tab.....i'm special.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:10 | 1118335 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

Troll. Austerity is the playground of the bankers. We should Jubilee on their ass(es).

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:34 | 1118456 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


"Sorry Mr. Bondholder, but that ain't my debt! You should really know better than to lend to criminals just to get some tax-free returns."

I can't wait to see the war of the upcoming property tax protesters vs. the cash-strapped munis. Why should anyone support an entity that is impoverishing its own community?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:43 | 1118489 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

I agree. But muni bondholder haircuts won't hurt the TBTF. Slightly over 71% of these nationwide are held by individual investors.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:18 | 1118383 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Sacrifices?  Surely you jest <sarcasm>

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:57 | 1118278 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

"Don't panic"


"bend over"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:05 | 1118286 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture







Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:37 | 1118470 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I've gotta wonder if Bill Gross is preparing to purchase California at pennies on the dollar.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:04 | 1118574 nohweh
nohweh's picture

Dimon is not  worthy of satire  He does a good enough job on himself.  He is certainly in no panic, and so what  if a bit of a merry car gets shattered. He is on that masterpiece of financial engineering- the Credit Cycle. The not so secret weapon of the Central Banking Cartel.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:58 | 1118288 camoes
camoes's picture

Jimmy Dimon will buy your school, hospital, prison and parks and pay the municipalities with silver short contracts, problem solved!!!



Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:01 | 1118292 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

By the way, JPM hasn't crashed yet, despite all the dire warnings.

As usual, they are 100% backstopped by the full faith and credit of the Federal Reserve Bank of NY.

And their largest depositors are all clients of Bessemer Trust, which includes most PigMen and politicians.

Ergo, failure is impossible.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:10 | 1118334 lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

ergo, ask lehman and bear sterns. remember, the clown told us recently that pigmen (leh, bear) always win and losers lose. so i guess leh and bear were pigmen before they were losers according to the genius.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:12 | 1118360 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

You really should read Othello....because you are sounding more and more like Iago every day.

In the event that you are not familiar with the character...He is one of Shakespeare's most famous villains...but his villainy is not the product of is that he posses no conscience whatsoever...and is driven purely by envy.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:40 | 1118772 samsara
samsara's picture

He really is a Remora.

Look up Commensalism.

He's the fish attached to the Shark,  Eating droppings.  Staying out of the way of the teeth, making his living. 

Indifference to the prey that the sharks feed on, he's just there to pick up the table scraps from the orgy.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:16 | 1118374 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Cramer is pumping JPM.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:00 | 1118293 SunBlaster
SunBlaster's picture

Jamie: “I wouldn’t panic about what I’m about to say,”
Blythe: "Psss, Psss, Yo Jamie, plz don't"
Jamie: "WTF bitch, let me talk!"

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:59 | 1118294 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

extricate yourselves from the system, people. protect & hide what little you may have left before they steal it all.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:25 | 1118691 billhilly
billhilly's picture

Yes, stop spending money on crap!  Buy PM's and neccesities only.  Get off of credit if you are able.  Downsize, simplify.  Starve the beast!  If we, the consumers, are 70% of the economy, then we have enormous power.  This is a way to change the system...stop feeding them (corporations and Govt.).  Pull as much money from the TBTF's as you can, hell it's not like your making any $ in interest anyway.

Take control of your own life, even in the smallest way you can.  We each have the power to do this and it can add up fast when some of the masses play along. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 18:05 | 1119105 DosZap
DosZap's picture

WE "WERE" 70% of the GDP.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:54 | 1118839 Oleander
Oleander's picture

I have been trying to get my FERS - they keep saying they did  not get the request.  I will now send it in daily. Today she reminded me 3x of the penalties (10%) I would pay if I did take it.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 14:59 | 1118296 fragrantdingleberry
fragrantdingleberry's picture

I'd pay to see Merideth's wrestler hubby body slam Jamie.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:01 | 1118302 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Well, that post sure got a lot of people talking. In the end they are not going to like the America that they are creating. I think it will become an uncomfortable place to live.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:01 | 1118304 ivana
ivana's picture

These are epic times and somehow tragicomic: one by one, parts of "democratic" system (munis, communal services, schools, health etc coming, employment, local councils, some govs ...) are collapsing and still - markets remain high!?!

2 parallel worlds. Reality and finance - completely detached.
Amazing, isn't it?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:56 | 1118837 scaleindependent
scaleindependent's picture


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:05 | 1118321 subqtaneous
subqtaneous's picture


|________________  What he said!

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:07 | 1118332 Bob
Bob's picture

Bullish for banksters is that cocksuckers like Michigan Governor Synder have already put in place new laws allowing States to take over any insolvent municipalities (incl school districts, counties, etc) . . . he'll make sure the banksters get haircuts only after everybody else is starved, I have no doubt. 

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:28 | 1118425 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Yeah.  And where are our Tea Party friends to decry the loss of liberty and democracy?

What? Nowhere to be found?

Aw, that's right...THIS fascist asshole is a Republican.


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:43 | 1118491 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

Gross ignorance is seems to be at the wheel with you, sir.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:34 | 1118461 Arkadaba
Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:46 | 1118500 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

Yeah, Maddow is always sooooo honest and accurate. PLEASE!

It would be in your interest to give up the Kool-Aid there, blue pill boy.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:55 | 1118532 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

What exactly did she say in this video that was dishonest or inaccurate?

Btw, gave up the Kool-Aid a long time ago - seems to me you are only partially detoxed.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:07 | 1118593 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Nevermind.  If he bothered to pull his head out of his ass, he'd find the same information from a variety of sources.

Hopefully, the ensuing court cases will dismantle the worst of this fascist power grab before he can destroy the state constitution...not to mention the state.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:17 | 1118354 the rookie cynic
the rookie cynic's picture

Yes, Jamie is a big liar and a hypocrite. A criminal. A financial terrorist to use Max's phraseology.

Any person or entity not having direct access to the Federal Reserve printers is destined to become debt slaves of the Primary Dealers. This includes munis and pension funds.

Jamie, Lloyd and others of their ilk are backstopped by the Fed. As such, they get their money for nothin'. They can restructure all of the muni and pension bad debt at zero cost on their terms. 

You, my friend, however, must continue to labor for every devalued penny. Real capital, as you know, is ultimately created by the labor of the people. To fund the PDs and their evil schemes, we must work harder for less and less. We are all Greece, now.

But what, me, panic?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:13 | 1118356 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

So, not the Bankers are going to take over all of our parking meters, toll bridges, tunnels.  Raise the fees and live like a king on tax payer assets.

Criminal.  I think this is intentional.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:13 | 1118370 ivana
ivana's picture

Of course

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:17 | 1118381 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Jamie Dimon will be the CEO of his new Mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP).


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:23 | 1118404 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

10,000 Jefferson counties. Looted by hook or by crook.

What happens when all the rational working people move away and there is nobody to pay?

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:22 | 1118405 SavingsTherapist
SavingsTherapist's picture

Jamie D market comment, early 2008: " It really bears watching".

Also an anagram of "Really bear, sit watching".


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:25 | 1118406 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

The Demon of The Morgue speaks

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:24 | 1118407 tallen
tallen's picture

If your reading this message, your thinking. So stop. Instead put some porn on and buy all the dow+ S&P Futures you can.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:24 | 1118410 vas deferens
vas deferens's picture

What is this?? Naked Gun 2 1/2  "There is nothing to see here"


Another raping of the American people, trading gov. assets to banks for more worthless electronic zeros and people are going to cheer JPM for doing so.   

WTF Give everything to the banks inturn the banks give the US electric zeros on their computer screens.

May as well be Farm Ville money.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:53 | 1118530 digalert
digalert's picture

What is this?? Naked Gun 2 1/2

If you picture Dimon played by Leslie all makes sense.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 19:36 | 1119478 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

He kinda sorta looks like Tickerguy, Karl Denninger.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:24 | 1118411 gkm
gkm's picture

What do you expect.  At the most propitious time to take down the banksters, the government handed them the giant dildo and said "please sir may I have another".  And so...

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:42 | 1118487 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

They (WE) will have another chance to take them down

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:24 | 1118415 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

It doesn't matter which financial crisis we talk about here, whether it's forclosures, sovereign debt, municipal debt, pension under-funding, whatever, the current solution is always the same that being extend and pretend. What we need to do on this site, and there is more than enough intellectual firepower here to do it, is figure out what is going to eventually change and throw this equilibrium out of balance and cause the landscape to shift. For example it seems that at present there is an almost insatiable demand for T-bills, the world is literally buying billions per day. Will something eventually take their place or is their really no substitute in which case the debt may be allowed to rise way beyond what anyone of us believes possible.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:28 | 1118421 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

The bell has tolled, we have finally arrived at the end game; it is now time to accept corporate sponsorship.  From the vantage point of corporate America,  the branding opportunities are endless.  Perhaps add some teeth to the naming rights-- make it punishable by a large fine should anyone refer to the rebranded municipalities as anything but what the corporate sponsor desires.  The City of McChicago, Mayor Rahm "Ronald McDonald" Emmaunel.  The typography of all of the letter "M"s to be replaced with the Golden Arches.  Los AnGoogles.  The Big Apple, where the world apple is replaced with Apple Inc.'s logo.  And why stop at the municipalities?  Street names can be sold to the highest bidder.  The brand exposure is priceless.  Meet me at the cross section of General Electric Avenue and We Bring Good To Things To Life Road.  I heard the eBay of San CiscoSystems is beautiful this time or year.  Endless revenue possibilities.  

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:39 | 1118482 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture


Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:55 | 1118536 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Cokeland, CA seems appropriate.

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 16:00 | 1118560 walküre
walküre's picture

Let's do a deal.

This piece of business needs a large marketing and sales effort.

Who is going to underwrite the deals? I know a few people. Does it matter that the title gets flipped a few times down the road?

Once that's done, lets construct a CDO as well. Again, I know a few people.

Money is there.

This is America.

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