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Jim Cramer's TheStreet Now Resorting To $500/Hour Psychics For Stock Picks

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Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:00 | Link to Comment koaj
koaj's picture

BOOOO yah!!!!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:37 | Link to Comment bpj
bpj's picture

Jim Cramer said that Lenny Dykstra was an investing "legend". nuff said.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:37 | Link to Comment I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Now they just got every last soap opera watching housewife to empty their coffee can and dump into bank stocks.  Too funny.  This is going to end very badly.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:03 | Link to Comment bruce wayne
bruce wayne's picture

"I'm a psychic so I don't know"

Priceless.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:36 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Ha ha ha... priceless indeed Batman... Ooops I just gave your secret identity away....

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 03:23 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

The best way to spread confusion is through idiots. Look at how effective congress is at it.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:03 | Link to Comment Dixie Normous
Dixie Normous's picture

Now THIS is the type of sell signal I can sink my teeth into!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:07 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

 I'm really getting tired of these "talking head" types.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:06 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

does he still have a buy on CIT?  how about Bear Stearns?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:07 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

This week in rofl!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:09 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:09 | Link to Comment lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

Is that guy speaking from inside Cramer's ass?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:14 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

They make one of those plastic ball things for gerbil's.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:25 | Link to Comment mitack
mitack's picture

Is the echo-chamber-effect that makes ya think so ?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:34 | Link to Comment lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

No. I just thought it was another thing that Cramer pulled out of it.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:09 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:13 | Link to Comment bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Salted calls.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:17 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture
Chef: [singing] Say everybody have you seen my Balls/Theyre big and Salty and brown./If you ever need a quick pick-me-up./Just put my Balls in your mouth./Ooh, suck on my Chocolate Salty Balls (Stick em in your mouth)/Put em in your mouth and you suck em and you suck em.
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:15 | Link to Comment TumblingDice
TumblingDice's picture

dont understand; WHY?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:15 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:16 | Link to Comment Keyser Soze
Keyser Soze's picture

6 months: weird lady 1, Rosie 0

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:19 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Gold will hover around a 1000 for a very long time.

1059 ^13 Now thats some nice hovering.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:19 | Link to Comment reading
reading's picture

try psychotic...

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:22 | Link to Comment lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

thank you for that posting. it brightened my day.  i laughed so hard.   no wonder this website is so popular & fun ......... sincerely..........

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:22 | Link to Comment lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

thank you for that posting. it brightened my day.  i laughed so hard.   no wonder this website is so popular & fun ......... sincerely..........

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:23 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

What is the difference between an Economist and a Psychic...payment in cash upfront and palm reading extra.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:29 | Link to Comment AN0NYM0US
AN0NYM0US's picture

Pelosi Says House to Consider Extending Home-Buyer Tax Credit

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=abdeJothOA5w

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:29 | Link to Comment Ragnarok
Ragnarok's picture

What's the ratio of stocks at 52 week highs?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:29 | Link to Comment digalert
digalert's picture

WTF? I see green poops!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:30 | Link to Comment Pimp Daddy
Pimp Daddy's picture

He's at least more believable than Cramer

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:31 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Arianna Huff is gunning for Geithner's head.  which would open door for?

a) Roubini

b) Taleb

c) Lloyd from HBO

d) Jon Stewart

e) Valerie Jarette

f) Jon Thain

g) Dick Grasso

h) Soros

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:43 | Link to Comment Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Isn't it Lloyd's turn? I think he's got a lot of stock to sell and could use the cap gains exemption.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:54 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Aha...so that's Obama's big Gay announcement!!! Lloyd from Enterouge will be the new Treasury!!!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 22:52 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:33 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:35 | Link to Comment sondog
sondog's picture

Wow what a stupid industry I decided to dedicate my life to. FML

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:36 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:37 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:11 | Link to Comment Medic
Medic's picture

And if you act now, I'll include this super-duper, genuine, high-quality juicer / pocket fisherman / slicer-dicer.

 

All for just the low, low asking price of.......

 

This is what we have come to.  It's no wonder most of my hope has vanished.

http://medic-thelightofday.blogspot.com/2009/09/returning-hope-i-bought.html

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 22:42 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Handle with care
Handle with care's picture

Easy business as he only needs to write a single email to cover all trades:

"Dear valued investor,

 

I will be purchasing  *** stock tomorrow as its an obscure company, which means none of you actually know anything about the company and its low volume which means it will start rising when all you subscribers start buying after this email arrives.

 

This allows me to sell the much larger number of shares I bought yesterday at a handsome guaranteed profit.

 

By losing on this trade you'll learn that the market is rigged by people like me and when your account is empty you'll be a better investor as you'll never again have a losing trade.

 

Tradeliciously,

 

Cramer

If you're investing in the stock market and aren't sure who the sucker is, let me be clear, its always you

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 02:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:38 | Link to Comment Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

At least he's not the lead underwriter for WFC bonds.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:39 | Link to Comment richardprice9
richardprice9's picture

I'd put my money on Lloyd Blankfein of GS.  After Skeletor and Turbo Timmy, wouldn't this make sense?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:42 | Link to Comment chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Did you know the US government once sued 40 barrels and 20 kegs of Coca Cola?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Forty_Barrels_and_Twenty_K...

Martin Armstrong teaches me weird things.

I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:46 | Link to Comment mlope1616
mlope1616's picture

I know that the people on this site are probably not Cramer's target audience and that his "purpose" is to entertain and educate newbies, but once these guys get just a little bit of insight towards investing they quickly realize he's a clown.... his business model is doomed to fail in the long run no?

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:53 | Link to Comment Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

"there is a sucker born every minute". His model looks sound to me.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:00 | Link to Comment lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

There's no explanation as to why he's lasted this long, other than he serves his master well.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 20:36 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 12:54 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:03 | Link to Comment Fruffing
Fruffing's picture

Citi "has some interesting things coming up on the horizon."   No argument there...

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:20 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

I like the formula. They are all going to buy something and it's going to be good for them and maket them alot of money. I think they are all going to buy the farm.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:11 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:12 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:43 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

o_O

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 13:54 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Hi CB: missed your bitch n slap leadership!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:33 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

Sqworl, dudette ; WhereTF is your avatar ...

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Someone on ZH connected the dots...I had to go stealth...

How's it hanging CB?  I went extra long today on vitamin "C"...Vampire Squid tested negative on nutrients...x

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:58 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

What dots; dont say that someone on ZH found out your real name/employer/address 

 

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:04 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

affirmative...who knew!  its asw fo sho!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:21 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

bummer, didnt know WS was such a tight knit community.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:37 | Link to Comment Sqworl
Sqworl's picture

Changing name and avitar tonight...find me!

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:05 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 14:43 | Link to Comment alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I have no idea how to respond to this. I'm tempted to laugh but my stomach suggest puking.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 15:20 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 16:29 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 16:45 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 17:48 | Link to Comment VanWinkle
VanWinkle's picture

These psychics any good with college football spreads? Better yet, can they help me correctly pick all of the numbers from one of those multi-state Super Lotto games so I can get a +$100MM jackpot?

I'd love to tune out the markets for a while.......

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 20:23 | Link to Comment Lux Fiat
Lux Fiat's picture

Cramer on BSC:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUkbdjetlY8

Any amateur viewer who didn't smell the coffee after that deserves to take a bath.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 21:42 | Link to Comment Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

JESUS CHRIST THIS HAS GOT TO BE A FUCKING JOKE

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!