JP Morgan - Buy The Dips... Unless Things Turn South, In Which Case Don't

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Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:18 | 213177 Bylinka (not verified)
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Thanks Tyler, I couldn't stop laughing. Regards, Alex

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:21 | 213180 Cognitive Dissonance
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".......JP Morgan comes out this morning with the conclusion that investors should buy the market unless things turn bad."

That line alone is priceless. Talk about hedging your bet. Any reply I might have beyond that line would be like shooting fish in a barrel and only make me look bad, almost like I'd be picking on poor old JPM.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:25 | 213184 Number 156
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So when did Dennis Kneale start working for JPM?

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:26 | 213186 Anonymous
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TD - think the puking baby you're referring to is the eTrade baby.

Looking forward to the day when I can contribute more to this site than firming up pop culture references...

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:36 | 213191 Anonymous
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Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:43 | 213199 Carl Marks
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It will rain tomorrow. Unless it doesn't.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:43 | 213201 Daedal
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Someone got paid to compile this nonsense.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:46 | 213205 Anonymous
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of course - the big banking "talent".

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:44 | 213203 Anonymous
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Given that GS (on behalf of JPM?) may find itself either prop chopped or cut off from 0% feed to their schemes – things sure look unstable to J(6pack)PM.

However dumb&dumber both firms have become...

So as long as GS blocks reform - feel free to buy this market. Should they fail, things might turn bad. One never knows what these bully kids might contemplate when all their lollipops pop out. Gee, we could even see a big sucking sound.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:47 | 213207 Handle with care
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This is like the Tom Mix quote, "To make money in the stock market buy stocks and then sell them after they go up.  If they don't go up, don't buy them."


Also love that in JPM land Euro weakness is a good thing as it, "remove one of the headwinds for European exporters." without apparantly creating a headwind for US exporters.  Maybe they're modelling the best of all worlds in which both the Euro and Dollar fall against each other simultaneously 

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 10:56 | 213213 Cognitive Dissonance
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LP Morgan and company is simply tailoring their pronouncements for the specific audience. Sort of along the lines of a President tailoring his foreign country (bashing) rhetoric for "domestic consumption" and not because he really means it.

They treat us as fools because we are fools for going along, regardless of whether it's JPM or our so-called national leaders.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:04 | 213215 CONners
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"...stocks trade on 11.5x this year’s earnings, in addition to the EPS integer moving up."

Is 11.5 their current integer? Jethro Bodine with a sixth grade education could do better than this.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:12 | 213219 Trifecta Man
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Just chart the QQQQ against its 20-week or 100-day moving average.  Go back to the year 2000 to see what it would have done for you.  It predicted the rally in 2009, and it now predicts the trend is down.  Ignore this at your own peril.  Don't listen to JPM.

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:25 | 213227 Anonymous
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I am absolutely right, unless I am wrong!

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:44 | 213236 Miles Kendig
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And Wall Street still wonders why Main Street has lost confidence in the ability of bankers to think critically... 

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:47 | 213248 Ripped Chunk
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Forever in debt to your priceless advice

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 11:54 | 213256 Anonymous
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China: tightening or (stealth) soft landing?

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 14:09 | 213427 wackyquacker
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no brainer. Buy low and sell high

Mon, 02/01/2010 - 18:34 | 213901 dnarby
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Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

- Will Rogers

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