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JP Morgan Says It Had A Perfect Trading Second Half In 2010, Lost Money On Just 8 Days In 2010, Made Money On 96.9% Of Trading Days

Tyler Durden's picture





 

For those wondering why nobody wants to trade ever again on what are now purely legalized fraud markets (and thank god Ze Germans are dumb enough to buy them at any price), here is the reason:

  • JPMORGAN RACKS UP THREE PERFECT TRADING QUARTERS IN 2010
  • JPMORGAN TRADERS HAD PERFECT SECOND HALF, BANK SAYS
  • JPMORGAN TRADERS LOST MONEY 8 DAYS IN 2010, DOWN FROM 42 IN '09

In other words, of 260 trading days in 2010, the firm lost money on 8, or 3.1%. In yet other words, the firm made money 96.9% of the time. We'll repeat that: JPM made money 96.9% of the time.

We expect the 10-Q will confirm this data which was discussed during the firm's investor presentation. And if Bank of America, and its Calcutta-grade trading desk repeats the same trading perfection it had in Q3, then it's really over.

 


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Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:52 | Link to Comment lettuce
lettuce's picture

after reading this on bb when it popped across, i knew only moments later it would show on here.

 

Goldman WHO?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:08 | Link to Comment Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Pop?

WHY DO YOU ACCUSE THEM OF INSIDE TRADING KNOWLEDGE?!

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:24 | Link to Comment cunningtrader
cunningtrader's picture

Correct Headline: 

JPMORGAN MAKES MONEY THANKS TO BENDOVER GIVING THEM TAXPAYER MONEY FOR FREE

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:38 | Link to Comment chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

It reminds me of the All-Drug Olympics:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4090/weekend-update-all-drug-olympics

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 13:49 | Link to Comment Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

JPM and the effective IBs were tasked with restoring the nation's 401Ks by Helicopter Ben and they've are being paid handsomely for their cooperation in this Fed assault on free and fair markets.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:53 | Link to Comment NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

do they have a line item for profit from wrongful foreclosures on military

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:26 | Link to Comment Zedge Hero
Zedge Hero's picture

Yeah it's right next to the one for food stamps.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 20:02 | Link to Comment Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

and food stamp cards

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:55 | Link to Comment Alcoholic Nativ...
Alcoholic Native American's picture

nice!

//goes to check on his pot roast

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:55 | Link to Comment HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

They are good, and so what???

Are you jealous of their success in stock trading???

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:57 | Link to Comment Alienated Serf
Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:28 | Link to Comment homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

LOL. Sounds just like him. Always repeating his "strong economy" mantra. BTW - who was stupid enough to give him a 99% community rating? Oh yea - when you're surrounded by the financially inept, Robert Kiyosaki sounds like a God.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:47 | Link to Comment Alienated Serf
Alienated Serf's picture

same icon too...

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:02 | Link to Comment nwskii
nwskii's picture

If they are so fucking good then why do they need trillion dollar bailouts from the taxpayer, If things are so AWSOME as you claim then why is the USA 14+ trillion in the hole?? I could go on but everyone knows your on Bernanke's payroll to puke garbage on this site.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:40 | Link to Comment chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I am going to go against conventional wisdom here and state that I believe JP Morgan had a great year because they really are that good.

That being said, I also have a huge cock and I'm currently fucking Lady Gaga on weekends between gigs.

I am Chumbawamba.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 19:30 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

Lady GAG GAH?

Your one sick puppy...........LOL

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:10 | Link to Comment lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

hamywanger: when you can't find two ply toilet paper.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:13 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

You guys fall for hamy.everytime!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:17 | Link to Comment A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

So with ALL the volatility in the May-August time frame, only 8 days of trading losses?

I smell a Market Manipulator.

 

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 02:12 | Link to Comment The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Rigged Casino - heads they win, tails you lose.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:30 | Link to Comment lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

I agree Hamy. People are just angry they can't be like JPM. Happy days are here and I am growing weary of all of these sorry pusses. Can't believe you got mobbed junked.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:47 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

keep up the good work, Hamy - you always make my day :)

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:13 | Link to Comment Bob
Bob's picture

He is funny.  And the only intentional commedian who has made it at ZH.  Hamy!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 20:05 | Link to Comment Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Hamy is a satirist - think Swift:

http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:55 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

that's why they don't need reserves.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:19 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

COGS are nearly zero, they write the rules, they are self-regulated; they damn well better be make a killing.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:13 | Link to Comment AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

+1 Buzz. LOL  Did you (or anyone) hear Allen Meltzer's interview on Bloomberg today? God forbid these bastards hold more equity capital (north of 20%) and be accountable to anyone.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:56 | Link to Comment Sutton
Sutton's picture

I thought they were getting killed in silver.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:14 | Link to Comment tickhound
tickhound's picture

Catherine Austin Fitts when asked if silver could bust JPMorgan "No. They could feel it but,... JPMorgan is the US government, and the US government has nukes"

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 21:41 | Link to Comment El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

    ...." getting killed in silver."

     When they lose it is laid off on the taxpayers, we are all now short Silver....  Hi Ho Banksters, they get free ho's on the tax payers.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:55 | Link to Comment SashaBelov
SashaBelov's picture

And when are they gonna disclose their balace sheet and let us see, that any investment that is not working for them is just pushed aside?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:56 | Link to Comment oddjob
oddjob's picture

During those 8 days the offices must have been on fire,...or something.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:57 | Link to Comment SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

Big deal.  So did RobotTrader and HarryWanger.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:59 | Link to Comment MonsterZero
MonsterZero's picture

Congrats JPMorgan.  You're either a winner or a loser, they seem to be doing well, how are you doing?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Not doing too bad Chump - because I probably have more Silver than they do, and I didn't even get a Tax Payer Bailout or 0% interest loans.   

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:49 | Link to Comment MonsterZero
MonsterZero's picture

bailouts by citizens 0% loans.. all part of the game.  Look at Ireland giving corps lower tax rates than other countries.   This is simply a non-nation party participating in the game humans have played in for centuries called "Control the World".  Long live the truly free market where laws are made to benefit some, no sympathy for the majority.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:00 | Link to Comment SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

Wow.  I am watching President Obama, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, give Warren Buffett, a Medal of Freedom.

I just threw up in my mouth.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:13 | Link to Comment Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

How about a go fuck yourself medal for some of those douchbags!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:21 | Link to Comment Alienated Serf
Alienated Serf's picture

mega lulz

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:34 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

They can give each other citizenship awards all day long till they get scholeosis. But they can never get the trust back.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:59 | Link to Comment Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

buy silver! Make these fucking crooks go bankrupt covering, and put that bitch Blythe out on the street selling her ass for $5 a trick.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:39 | Link to Comment I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

FIVE DOLLARS for Blythe?!?!?   ummm...do I get a beer with that?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 14:59 | Link to Comment tickhound
tickhound's picture

There is no reason for jpmorgan to have any down days.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:00 | Link to Comment Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

With Joe Sixpack and corporate insiders no longer playing, who is on the losing side of all those trades?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Prof Gulliver
Prof Gulliver's picture

The American taxpayer.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:22 | Link to Comment Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

In the form of the Federal Reserve.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:49 | Link to Comment anyways
anyways's picture

Bingo!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:01 | Link to Comment HarrisonBergeron
HarrisonBergeron's picture

Shouldn't there be a doctoral student at U of Chicago working on a thesis on how this is not statistically possible? Doesn't Steven Levitt love that type of analysis Oh wait, that would be instant blacklist for life.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:18 | Link to Comment A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

+9 Standard Deviations

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:23 | Link to Comment AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

Good one...lol

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:23 | Link to Comment jobs1234
jobs1234's picture

Agreed, if they are making money, who is on the losing side of these trades they are making?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:36 | Link to Comment spinone
spinone's picture

Anyone stuck in this fraud of a market - pensions and 401K's

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:00 | Link to Comment scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

It dosent mean that all JPM traders were up everyday...but it's still a freakshow.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:00 | Link to Comment lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

the trick is to value your trades at the price of your choosing. since nobody is watching it's surprising jpm lost on 8 trading days. maybe they have a conscience? naaaaaaaa ......

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:03 | Link to Comment The Axe
The Axe's picture

If I got to I participate in POMO...I be making money...women.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:04 | Link to Comment prophet
prophet's picture

Where do I sign up?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:04 | Link to Comment luk427
luk427's picture

Don't forget the food stamps.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:07 | Link to Comment Ras Bongo
Ras Bongo's picture

US COVERT OPERATIONS TURN SOUR:


Argentina Confiscates U.S. Air Force Cargo

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703584804576144450144733380.html

US and Pakistan square off 

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/MB15Df01.html

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

People just don't get it. Either the fed dies or the US dies. It's just that simple.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:42 | Link to Comment UGrev
UGrev's picture

The USA that I awake to every morning is diseased, necrotic and needs a proper burial. This is not the USA my grand-father left Sicily for, to fight for and gain his citizenship under. This is a perverted, twisted, and corrupt USA. I would welcome the re-birth of this country under the rule of law as it should be. 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:11 | Link to Comment Mr Poopra
Mr Poopra's picture

It's always been corrupt, now we are just starting to understand the magnitude.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 02:27 | Link to Comment The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Spot on. Once you understand what the Fed is, you can see the root of all the corruption in the US. To understand what the Fed is, the best book is The Creature From Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin.

If America ever has an 'Egyptian' movement, surrounding and taking the NY Fed would be our 1st move toward liberty.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:07 | Link to Comment Sizzurp
Sizzurp's picture

Hard to lose money when you are an insider at the Fed printing factory.  Corrupt clowns probably think it is because they are so smart.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:34 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

smart enough to have an insider at the Fed printing factory.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

why dont they just tell everyone what they are going to do each day around 730AM and we can all become wealthy

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:09 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

I guess this is a more subtle backdoor bailout of the banks, subpennying and frontrunning retail specs with hft.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:09 | Link to Comment Insert witty title
Insert witty title's picture

I'm sorry to admit, but I worked for JPM in institutional equities for eight years in my twenties. Firstly in research then sales. 

I can tell you, first hand, that not one person I came across on the trading desks, either mates in FICC or equities, was smart enough to build a track record like that.

Even more so, management is appalling, especially in global institutional equities, and uterly incapable of formulating a group plan that could deliver such a record.

Of course you all know this, consider this my confession. I woke up, saw the beast and had to leave. But I will tell you now, without a discount window, with a PD relationship, without unlimited free fiat 'money' - those fucking morons couldn't string a track record like this together.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:12 | Link to Comment AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

You are forgiven...It takes a real man to admit his mistakes. :)

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:15 | Link to Comment Insert witty title
Insert witty title's picture

Christ, absolution from Andrew Jackson! Man my old team shot you and here you are, forgiving me for MY sins. 

 

You are the balls, come on reincarnation you are needed. Bring some of your mates with you!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:12 | Link to Comment anarkst
anarkst's picture

Nobody said that FASCISM doesn't work.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:13 | Link to Comment Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Your typical HFT target is to make a profit a very high percentage of minutes or seconds of trade.

So, really, in an environment where it's possible to achieve those kinds of objectives, making a profit on virtually all days is not that surprising.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:38 | Link to Comment razorthin
razorthin's picture

they must be stopped.  it's time to go egypt on their ass.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:14 | Link to Comment 10kby2k
10kby2k's picture

 

shit....i can't even hit the urinal cleanly 96.9% of the time

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:16 | Link to Comment Shameful
Shameful's picture

More throwing it in our faces. Openly advertising the scam. This would be like a casino having an ad campaign talking about their rigged games and robberies in the parking lot.

Might as well be this, warning not work safe for profanity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc

"Home of challenge pissing!"
Good luck in the casino.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:17 | Link to Comment 99er
99er's picture

SPX

JPM must be short today.

http://www.zerohedge.com/forum/99er-charts-0

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:18 | Link to Comment Rick64
Rick64's picture

 This is ultimate proof that the game is rigged. They are not hiding it anymore.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:27 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

It is not really rigged. Its just a new tax on all the non hft traders.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:37 | Link to Comment Rick64
Rick64's picture

You should work for their PR department.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:13 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

If you know how they structure order flow and hedges as one of the above posters described it, and you can front run and.get between buyers and sellers with hft, then you know that it is a tax, tribute, theft, or whatever you want to call it.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:38 | Link to Comment Rick64
Rick64's picture

I know what you mean, and I was just joking. BTW I didn't junk you.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:20 | Link to Comment AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

How could corporate clients work with these snake oil salesman? Do they enjoy getting their a** handed to them on every trade? Maybe they just love the prestige of interacting with the high and mighty investment banks.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:20 | Link to Comment fiatmoney
fiatmoney's picture

And who lost Money On 96.9% Of Trading Days?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:25 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Everybody who trades loses a subpenney or two, in each and every trade, to hft frontrunners.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:21 | Link to Comment Cecil Rhodes
Cecil Rhodes's picture

hmmm... this seems totally statistically possible in a free market.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:22 | Link to Comment AZSovreign
AZSovreign's picture

JP Morgan Chase Headquarters at 270 Park Avenue in New York

 

For those in the mood to bomb something...

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:35 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

If you want me to be able to read all the way to the end of your posts, you're going to need to change your avatar.  I always get distr....

I'm sorry, what was I saying?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:16 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Jamie Dimon's phone number and address might be more useful.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:27 | Link to Comment jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

JPMorgan makes money in a completely rigged market, with free money, the fed's expert network, etc.  Wow...that must be news to CNBS.  Sign of good things to them I bet.

That also hit me about the NYSE. First I wrote about how generally speaking how monetarism and free trade ALLOW this whereas saner systems have controls in place (see tariffs) that could stop them.

But after I posted it, I thought of something really important.  It's the fraudulent NYSE, so I should of said.  So!

Take it.

We can start a new exchange AFTER Glass-Steagall and the switch over to the American Credit System.

So again, while losing other companies is bad.  Selling the NYSE is actually GOOD, because it's going to probably have to be sacrificed anyways.  Same thing with Nasdaq, etc. 

Now when it is sacrificed, it won't be an American company....Sgt. Shultz isn't the only german who knows nothing....nothing.

One less self-limiting behavior for Americans to get over. Sadly though 99 percent won't realize it was sold.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:27 | Link to Comment Biff Malibu
Biff Malibu's picture

You are absolved of all your sins, now go and sin no more.  Thanks for posting and please share more of your insight.  I've been studying technical analysis daily and diligently since 1996.  In my opinion, about 90% of it is garbage, however, there are a few things that I've found to be profitable.  Everything is always marketed to retail traders this and retail traders that.  I've often wondered what it would be like to peak over the shoulder of a trader at one of the TBTFs and see what they look for when plying their trade.  Or do they have such massive power that they can push an equity wherever they want it to go?

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:51 | Link to Comment Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Actually, being so big you can push equities around isn't a power...it's a cost. HFT is an outgrowth of what was once called "program trading"--that is, the attempt to perform optimal execution on large trades.

You should dispense with the notion that JPM employs people to sit around and pick stocks the way you might at home. My impression is that flow trading is done for the most part by algorithms now. If you work on an equities desk, chances are you're there to create and maintain hedges against a book of OTC or other exposures the bank has. If you're on the client-facing side, then you're "trading" products in much the same way Lowe's "trades" you a bandsaw.

These businesses are designed to, well, create profits, because that's what businesses do. And with Bear and Lehman both gone, it's a lot easier to set margins in a way that makes that more likely.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:07 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Good point.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:36 | Link to Comment Biff Malibu
Biff Malibu's picture

Thanks for your response, I guess you can never underestimate how much of an advantage it is just to make the market in so many equities and catch the bid-ask spread on every single one of them all day long.  We should start up a ZH chatroom to share ideas throughout the trading day. 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:58 | Link to Comment surferthx1138
surferthx1138's picture

I think we are just seeing the evolution of the GS squid; the Canadian exchange joining with the London, NYSE to the German. With the 'insider perspective' exposed here with regular frequency, it makes sense that the equation would evolve to new pathways. With so much attention on GS in the last year,  the JPM became the window for a big series of withdrawals from our system.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:29 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i would like to meet the guys who beat them on those 8 days.....now those are some lucky bastards

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:33 | Link to Comment FreakuentFlyer
FreakuentFlyer's picture

you think that is unbelievable? wait till you hear this:

nyse, bats, nasdaq, edge, tse, tsx, bovespa, hkex, yada, yada, yada not only made trading profits each day last year - they made money on each and every trade.

how rigged is that!!!! people!!!!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:30 | Link to Comment Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

JP sells shares to GS for a profit.  GS sells the same shares back to JP for a profit. 

JP sells shares to GS for a profit.  GS sells the same shares back to JP for a profit. 

JP sells shares to GS for a profit.  GS sells the same shares back to JP for a profit. 

JP sells shares to GS for a profit.  GS sells the same shares back to JP for a profit. 

You get the idea.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:31 | Link to Comment EB
EB's picture

New study confirms PD Tsy traders actually salivate after hearing F-E-D at 10:15 am EDT.  This chart explains it all:

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:15 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

flag as brilliant (1)

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Gimp
Gimp's picture

P, P, Po, Pon, Ponz, PONZI........nuff sed

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Gimp
Gimp's picture

P, P, Po, Pon, Ponz, PONZI........nuff sed

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:32 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

I guess those bonuses are justified after all.

</sarc>

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:34 | Link to Comment gwar5
gwar5's picture

That pretty much sums up the economic dissonance being created by the criminal Bankensteins -- the ones bailed out by the taxpayers. 

The world is broke, sovereign debts are on the verge of default, and global food riots are occurring amidst "The worst economic crises since the Great Depression"  --- and JPM makes money 96.9% of the time without breaking a sweat.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:36 | Link to Comment Racer
Racer's picture

Shouldn't that be

JPM stole 96.9% of the time

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:39 | Link to Comment razorthin
Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:39 | Link to Comment campag
campag's picture

can we stop now with the juvenile -"buy silver to bankrupt JPM".

I think their figures show how good/crooked at trading they are.-31

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:43 | Link to Comment Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

And we’re all supposed to believe this is just the result of their superior market insight and trading acumen; just like we were all supposed to believe back in 2007 that rising housing prices at triple the inflation rate was reasonable, and back in 2000 that Enron was the model corporation of our future. If JPM’s remarkable performance is truly the result of unsubsidized risk investing and trading in fair markets, then there is no explanation for why they aren’t all billionaires.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:51 | Link to Comment I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

JPM cashes out 97% of the time...yeah so what....you got a problem with that, huh tough guy?  What are you gonna do about?  Huh?  Forgettaboutit wiseguy!  Kapish?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:52 | Link to Comment highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture

lets see with 70 T in Level III (the whole residential real estate market is ~43T) and TARP 1.0 -POMO.x  when you have your capital requirements met then I guess the world is right. JPM the great food stamp processor.  What would be the  Storming of the Bastille event here?  Remember Louis XVI, France faced a major economic crisis, initiated by the cost of intervening in the American Revolution (and not invading England) , and exacerbated by a regressive system of taxation.  Now Back to today's news Buffet gets out of Bank of America ( yea right another 40T level III) and Gates Foundation dumps Goldman (another 40T) more Warren insider trading... We can only hope the insolvent JPM, BAC, GS, C sewers of synthetic toxic crap get flushed. These interventionist policies are a financial chicanery and political death spiral.

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:12 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

there has NEVER been a tax more regressive than property taxes

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:53 | Link to Comment Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

So they have not covered their silver shorts yet.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:56 | Link to Comment Muir
Muir's picture

Hey, just goes to show that they knew how to play those "fat tails."

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:56 | Link to Comment Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/china-investment-corp-hikes-stake-morga...

Morgan Stanley can do equity for silver swaps with china all day long.

Nothing is going to save JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs from losing complete control over the silver and gold market. They can HFT up equity till they blue in the face but any fool that gives them gold or silver to play with will simply get eaten as well.

Do not ask for whom the insanity bell tolls. For it tolls for thee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkeFHT96TUA

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:55 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

and, here's how they do it....end of day ramp coming up (as always)....but that bitch the Dow has a quad-top in 12330's - as if technicals meant shit. maybe "this time it's different" stay tuned

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:39 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

ooops...having a little trouble; touched the -60 again at 24 minute mark. Ben! Ben! where are ya?? need another miracle....

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:57 | Link to Comment topshelfstuff
topshelfstuff's picture

Though its never brought up, just imagine how many "Bags" of Gains in the Personal accounts of all the members of the gang....would make their Bonus look like petty cash

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:58 | Link to Comment AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

This is not unusual. Although I would call it "vacuuming", not trading.  Market making and the ability to borrow at near zero interest rates makes it not only possible but fairly frequent of late. In the 1st Qtr of 2010 Goldman, BofA, JPM and Citigroup all were "perfect".

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/05/a_perfect_quarter_for_four_big.html

The situation has been rigged in favor of the big banks to the detriment of those not "to big to fail", meaning the general public.

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:58 | Link to Comment RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Proof that PigMen make money hand over fist in any market.

Especially prop desk traders at the blue-blood firms.

And by the way, JPM probably has no silver shorts of any substantial amount.  Just a myth.

Best way to survive the trading jungle is to figure out which way the likes of JPM are pushing the tape and just follow their coat tails.

Any other strategy of trying to "Buck City Hall" or "Out-trade the Big Boys"  is a death wish.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:29 | Link to Comment lieutenantjohnchard
lieutenantjohnchard's picture

as mentioned before the old robo catfish mouth will refute himself sometimes day to day, other times post to post. this gem is a beauty. on another thread today the old catfish told us trading was easy. "It really isn't that hard." post number 963662 for gits and shiggles. now he tells us a few hours later that it's a jungle - a jungle i tell you - out there, and to survive ya gotta ......

btw, catfish. thanks for layup on the jpm silver short myth comment. i'm gonna keep that one in my back pocket for future reference, along with the it's over, caput, done for the gold and silver rally comment.

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:06 | Link to Comment ThirdCoastSurfer
ThirdCoastSurfer's picture

Hurray for Capitialization!

And capitalism. 

The largest coordinated mob in almost any situation rules the roost.  

The only exceptions are sometimes technological or situational superiority.

When you control all three you are 96.9% correct.  

Now if the trading cabal can just get rid of those pesky "Expert Networks"....

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:14 | Link to Comment Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Hey HamyWanger.....you seem to be the type of troll that uses lots of chap stick,and kneepads.-15

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:30 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Dp.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:31 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

I think most newcomers haven't met the Wanger yet; he has been a little quiet lately

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:29 | Link to Comment topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

No but he gets a kick out of the fact some people still havent.figured out.his shtick. The name should.give you a clue....

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:17 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

No one on this planet comes close to that sucess rate without a tell on the others guys deals.

Card Reading bitchesssssss.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:16 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

No one on this planet comes close to that sucess rate without a tell on the others guys deals.

Card Reading bitchesssssss.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:16 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

No one on this planet comes close to that sucess rate without a tell on the others guys deals.

Card Reading bitchesssssss.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 16:29 | Link to Comment Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

The "tell" is the trade tape itself. That's the beauty of it.

A professional in equity HFT once described it to me this way: "It's like the easy questions on Jeopardy--everyone knows the answer, but the winner is the one who hits the button fastest."

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:00 | Link to Comment Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

"In fact your Grades are the worst in Faber History!!!" (read JPM went very bankrupt in 2007)

"Yes Dean Wormer but we're really hoping our mid-term Grades will..." (JPM picked up 2010)

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:07 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

well, what's remarkable is they failed to hit 100%. I mean, really, it's like shootin' fish in a barrel, no? That market is a thing of beauty....where else can you make up 20 Dow points in the last 5 minutes? It's so "resilient". Where's Cramer?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:15 | Link to Comment Charlie Bravo
Charlie Bravo's picture

LOL

Those jackasses at JPM never bothered to thank us taxpayers.

Charlie Bravo

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:27 | Link to Comment bebopgun
bebopgun's picture

What was an average success rate in the 1970's or 80's?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 17:47 | Link to Comment Scottj88
Scottj88's picture

Don't be fooled, JP morgan and all of its friends in the elite banking system are one of the same.  They are all major shareholders of the private central bank The Federal Reserve.  These banks are the proxy for the Federal Reserve, as this giant house of cards is quickly being blown at.  Everyday that passes, the scam becomes more visible to the public and the day we realize that the true power of this world lies within the banking industry, we will see the curruption that has abrewed via the Federal Reserve.

I can't wait for the day when house of cards falls down, good riddence to these jackasses.

The are displaying TREASNOUS behavior, make no mistake.

http://thehardrightedge.com/america-under-attack-by-treasonous-bankers/

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 18:28 | Link to Comment 1000DOLLARsilve...
1000DOLLARsilvercrushthefeds's picture

5 bucks for blythe? The old nag looks good enough , ill take 2! 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 18:31 | Link to Comment 1000DOLLARsilve...
1000DOLLARsilvercrushthefeds's picture

I want the reporter that messed up for 5 bucks too! I have enough silver for lifetime supplies of both!!!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 18:32 | Link to Comment 1000DOLLARsilve...
1000DOLLARsilvercrushthefeds's picture

I want the reporter that messed up for 5 bucks too! I have enough silver for lifetime supplies of both!!!

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 19:04 | Link to Comment chindit13
chindit13's picture

It's easy to hit .969 when you have tomorrow's newspaper today.

It's even easier when you write tomorrow's newspaper.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 19:18 | Link to Comment chump666
chump666's picture

F**** em, they are long like most brokerge firms....nice panic is about to hit.  Lets see how they handle that.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 20:19 | Link to Comment Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

Gentlemen, we have to do something about those eight days.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 21:22 | Link to Comment Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

8 days? ...there's 5 trading days in a week but that's a fuking lifetime as nothing exists but a 1 minute bar... the whole Universe is in that 1 minute bar, everything! 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 20:36 | Link to Comment NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Maybe ZH has me paranoid but recently it does seem that the market has truly become the domain of the machines.  I will watch a stock moving up/down with volume and I will step in with a trade only to suddenly see the volume stop and the share price hover around my purchase point.  It seems that an actual human engaging in the trading process screws up the logarithms and the machines need some time to adjust to this.  Fucking makes me crazy.  This isn't always the case but it happens more times than I care to count. 

 

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 21:36 | Link to Comment chindit13
chindit13's picture

To the Prop Trading Desk of JPMorgan,

Nice work, folks.  Far be it for me to give advice to the semi-divine, but perhaps your Protestant work ethic has prevented you from noticing that John Paulson made himself $5 billion last year, and that he is afforded a mere irritant of a tax rate---15%---which allows him to pocket a cool four and a quarter Real Man Units. 

I know you're asking yourselves....who the f*ck is John Paulson?  Can that putz bat .969?  You know he can't.

Thus...THAT, AND MORE, CAN BE YOURS!

Yes, with the once-in-a-generation, nay Millennium, skills that allowed you to book trading gains even on Snow Days---which is better than Paulson, David Tepper, Paul Tudor Jones, George Soros, and G*d's Butt Man on Earth, Lloyd Blankfein---you, too, could be pulling in 2 and 20.  Forget that $10, $20, or $50 million insult Jamie threw your way and start thinking BIG MONEY.  Free Flowing Fiat.  The kind of money you know you deserve.  The kind of money that could afford you the lifestyle to which you know you should be accustomed.

All it takes, your lordships, is that you exorcise yourselves from that dead weight known as Jamie's Bank.  Build your own Chinese Wall, and keep out your own Mongol Hordes.  Come on, you know you don't really need flow, access to Ben's Drive-thru Window, advance word of the CUSIP's in tomorrow's POMO, TBTF Status, or those Red Phones to Ben, Tim and Barack...it's skill you've got, pure and simple.  Balls to the wall 240 trading days a year!  Be as good as you think you are.  Make that cash register ring. 

What's that I see up ahead?  Hampton's waterfront?  A Premier League Futbol Team?  BBJ instead of that low rent Pilatus PC-12?  Aerospatiale on Friday evenings instead of the LIRR?  Battling it out with Stevie Cohen for the Willem de Koonings?  Guest spot on Squawk Box with Becky?  You know, Warren's Becky, that cherubic little Love Muffin?

Cowboy up.  Got a pair or not? (Blythe, that means you, too).  Is it going to be Adios, Jamie or the shame of cashing a paltry $50 million?

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 22:23 | Link to Comment hambone
hambone's picture

Madoff has got to be sooooooooooooooo pissed.  He must be saying "why me"???  He must be wondering why he was the sacrificial lamb?  He played the game so well.  Unfortunate for Madoff he wasn't a PD and didn't have an IV in the monetary artery of Merica allowing him to mainline money for nothing. 

He had to earn his money the old fashioned way, bilking one investor at a time. 

How quaint.

Tue, 02/15/2011 - 23:33 | Link to Comment PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

"Why Steal Less, when you can Steal More?"

Wall Street Mantra.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 05:02 | Link to Comment Dan The Man
Dan The Man's picture

---

i hate them all

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