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JPM Finally Turns Those Damn Machines Back On

Tyler Durden's picture




Sure has been a while since the SPY IOIA page has graced Zero Hedge.

Damn it feels good to be an SPY market making gangsta.

 




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Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:31 | Link to Comment kaptainkrunch
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Accompanying song..some comic relief

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eniw_S8JaJM

 

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:31 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

Seems like GS traders took that "DO NOT BUY ANYTHING!" memo a little too literally.

 

JPM, bro, you're going to have to step in for a bit.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:41 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:44 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:55 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:18 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 10:53 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:00 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

Thanks TD....nice to see an old friend back!

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:09 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:19 | Link to Comment deadhead
deadhead's picture

one screen shot does not a pattern make. there is some history here.

see executive order 12631.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:13 | Link to Comment Tripps
Tripps's picture

these stupid fund managers are bidding up BAC, GE, CAT, even C all week. a NUKE could go off and these morons and the hft would be bidding them up

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:20 | Link to Comment mattco
mattco's picture

Why wouldn't they be buying? CAT is expecting $10 eps next year (yeah, right). BAC just got away with murder (lying about Merrill deal) and GE was slapped on the wrist for manipulating their earnings. This is the new bull market. My friends Kudlow and Dennis Kneal said everything will be okay. And if that doesn't work  uncle Ben will print some more fiat and prop this crap up. 

You missed JPM in your analysis. They should have a p/e of about 200 by the end of the day so don't forget to buy them too.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:31 | Link to Comment aldousd
aldousd's picture

Why wouldn't they lie if they just have to pay a few million to rake the benefits of billions and billions? It's better than a very effective advertising campaign.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:40 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

Why wouldn't they be buying? CAT is expecting $10 eps next year (yeah, right)

 

And i expect my income to be 400 000 000 $ next year,an improvement of xxxx.xx%, and i have just done an IPO of myself and i am currently trading at 55$/s ...

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:50 | Link to Comment mattco
mattco's picture

Congrats! I plan on making 5 gazillion dollars next year too. Although I will have to give approx. 75% to NYC, NYS and the govt. I am planning on going over to my local JPM branch and asking for a loan to buy Spain based upon my projected future BS earnings. Maybe they will give us a better rate if you come too. I think Portugal or Iceland can be had for your meager future projected salary. Want in?

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:53 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

better yet, you buy Spain, and ill buy Portugal and some other nation with the spare change and we can start a new trend of sovereign mergers and acquisitions ...

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:00 | Link to Comment Oso
Oso's picture

I think what they said was, "if we have a normal recovery, we can make $10 EPS by 2012.".

 

phenomenally stupid, i agree.  its like MS analyst using "2011 normalized" earnings estimates to value banks. 

GS shockingly just upp'd their GDP estimates to be entirely positive all the way through next year.

 

WOW.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:05 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

it is fairly possible for those revenue and growth predictions to come trough; but that would require one small thing to happen; we would need have a real economy, not a WS playground ....

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:10 | Link to Comment Tripps
Tripps's picture

dude, cat ceo pumped his stock yesterday yes...but the 8-10 EPS is if WORLD GDP goes back to old highs and done in 5 years from now

 

what type of ceo is thinking about 5 years from now? one who wanna pump their stock only and make headlines

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:15 | Link to Comment DrRaolDuke
DrRaolDuke's picture

What does VWAP look like???? If this is HFT responding to the big opening dip this morning (as part of the government run false confidence program) should'nt VWAP dislocate?

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:21 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:23 | Link to Comment DrRaolDuke
DrRaolDuke's picture

The other hedge funds are not laundering money for the Fed.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:42 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

that is true; they are laundering the money for the Russian mob ..

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:37 | Link to Comment Gordon_Gekko
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They don't have the convenience of a fucking printing press backing their operations.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:45 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:02 | Link to Comment Oso
Oso's picture

well, the answer is because a lot of hedgies are very close to their high water marks and so are gunning their longs.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:21 | Link to Comment kaptainkrunch
kaptainkrunch's picture

Intraday 1 min VWAP on SPY about to get hit 100.01 vs. 100.11

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:23 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:24 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:25 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:33 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:30 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:32 | Link to Comment Project Mayhem
Project Mayhem's picture

We need an appropriate slur for JPM  now that we have 'vampire squid' for GS

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:07 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

This is lame but I will give it a go.

JP Organ Chase, Dick-kering with the DOW???

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 15:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 17:46 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 18:00 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 19:03 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

Chtuhlu Maggot

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 22:09 | Link to Comment Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh's picture

JP Moneybags comes to mind.  Not quite evil enough.  Neither is the cartoon photo - his actual pic looks far more evil.

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-46359380430213_2064_31992048

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e9/JohnPierpontMorgan.jpg

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:36 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:53 | Link to Comment mule65
mule65's picture

Looks like a financial squeeze gonna save the day.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:21 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:52 | Link to Comment Scott Bryan Hill
Scott Bryan Hill's picture

The funny thing is that this is not Operation Mayhem - this is now Wall Street Frankenstein.  Fire Bad!

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 13:38 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 14:51 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 14:59 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 18:06 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 21:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 22:30 | Link to Comment sellside_pov
sellside_pov's picture

They would not advertise their risk positions.  Only client trades appear on these screens.  The whole point is to advertise that they are doing client business in a particular name so that clients will see them as knowing where the liquidity is, and send them more flow.

Wed, 08/05/2009 - 22:08 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 22:36 | Link to Comment Anonymous
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