JPM Q2 Earnings Summary

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Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:37 | 1455387 ZeroPower
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Wierd, no mention in there of their "uber silver short tied to derivatives that exponentially fail at silver>$36/oz".

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:42 | 1455394 Captain Benny
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Mark to unicorn is a pretty magical accounting standard.  We all know that the silver shorts are on somebody's books, even if that somebody won't come out and reveal it.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:02 | 1455435 malikai
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What difference does it make? It's not like it is their money at stake. I hope it all does blow up, and they get a $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bailout. It's a small price to pay for divine interthiefdom.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:10 | 1456080 ZeroPower
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Probably the b.o.d of the COMEX, worth a shot looking over there.

Fact of the matter is, JPM makes as much $$ going long at the right time as they do going short at the right time. $45s was clearly the right time for the latter... lets see what happens now for the former part of that.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:10 | 1455451 slaughterer
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From Reuters today, JPM has insignificant VaR for commodities.  They are fully hedged, it seems.  Sorry, but this "JPM has a massive silver short" rumor is false.

"JPMorgan's value-at-Risk (VaR) for commodities stood at $16 million in the second quarter, compared with $13 million in the first quarter and $20 million a year ago, the U.S. investment bank said in its earnings report on Thursday."

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:51 | 1455530 snowball777
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Sure all commodities are exactly the same...and oranges and apples and bananas are too.


Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:21 | 1456140 ZeroPower
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Unfortunately, VaR is a bad joke. Even some newer concepts like expected shortfall or Conditional VaR are still just as flawed.

You mentioned a 16MM number up above. Thats great, probably with a 95% or even 99% of that not happening.

But hey, that other 1 or 5 % (depending on the sensitivity) shows absolutely nothing about how much in fact is possible at being lost, since its outside the sensitivity.

Theres tons of research done on how VaR, sucks. A shame its still used in practice by Risk Heads.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:19 | 1455853 fuu
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A) We trust corporate reporting now?

B) We trust corporate accounting now?


Damn where was I when that memo went out?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:39 | 1455389 digitlman
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10,000 people hired to fuck up the lives of the other 330 million.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:44 | 1455397 gimli
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No ..... Jamie's vision is to eventually hire every American -- JPM is currently connecting the emergency sprinklers in their buildings to public gas lines. Don't worry --- he has a plan.......... 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:59 | 1455548 augie
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Get fucked Jamie, you meretricious crotch pheasant. 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:41 | 1455391 Captain Benny
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I guess its okay if CSCO drops 10k employees that actually do work from their pay so that a junk bank can hire 10k people to add no value or contribution to society.  Perhaps I should say they are hired to extract value from society.  Banking at its best.  To all those JPM employees that read this:  Are you blind to see the hazard created by your participation in the cartel?  What drives you to work at the Morque?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:45 | 1455401 HowardBeale
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10,000 new criminals at work? Astounding! This is clearly a blow-off top in financial crime.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:46 | 1455403 papaswamp
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Making money from money. Or how to complete fool the world via peices of paper based on nothing. It's good to be the emperor.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:47 | 1455406 double 007
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Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:49 | 1455408 Josh Randall
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Hired 10k people ? Boy, China, India and the other BRICS must still be booming then, because he sure as hell didn't hire them in the US. Unless adding people to SNAP is considered adding headcount

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:50 | 1455410 bania
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i think cisco just let off 10,000 employees. we're moving people away from building communications infrastructure and into much more productive paper shuffling activities. end sarc.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:05 | 1455443 malikai
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Rent seeking != paper shuffling. And, by the way, the Morgue also needs network people. How else are they going to get that <1ms HFT advantage?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:51 | 1455413 BeerWhisperer
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This should put the DOW at 15,000 today...

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:56 | 1455419 chump666
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yawn...on the BS.  must be some weird borrowing/swap going with the Fed or something...we don't know about.  keep the retirees happy portfolio going

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:58 | 1455424 chump666
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and too think that the hedge funds that should do better are mostly neg...


Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:56 | 1455420 A Man without Q...
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It's the $80 bn plus of home equity loans (c. 50% of market cap) that you want to worry about.  We cannot resolve the mortgage crisis until we are honest about the problem, but when the banks have such large second lien exposures, they cannot afford to be honest..

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 07:58 | 1455425 swissinv
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were there any trading lossed for Q2?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:02 | 1455432 trampstamp
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Sure futures rose because of JPM earnings. It's more like option spreaders goosing the indices to make a butt load of money off of people this Friday expiration. Buy out of the puts/calls on high beta stocks that report earnings this week. GOOG comes to mind.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:05 | 1455439 snowball777
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Hired more than 10,000 employees year-to-date

In the US?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:06 | 1455445 Esso
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 rev. $26.78b

Not too shabby. That's about $108 from each & every US citizen. They must really produce a fine product. So what is it?

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:20 | 1455473 BeerWhisperer
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Loans that will yield higher risk reserves then what they have to cover them.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:13 | 1455456 rsnoble
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Fuck JPM.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:18 | 1455468 slaughterer
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I never thought I would see the day when

JPM = good bank

GS = bad bank

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:19 | 1455471 Sean7k
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And your derivative exposure is how much? And your reserves as a percentage of that exposure are how much? 

JPM and Rockefeller are the banking system. They are agents of the owners of the FED. Support of the FED makes us all complicit in the transfer of wealth from the US to the Elites. Every dollar you consume or produce is another link in the chain of debt slavery.

What can we do? Stop making links and start making alternative financial systems...

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:39 | 1455505 Johnny Lawrence
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Where is their prop desk trading factored into all this?  None of these banks lose money trading anymore.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:55 | 1455543 firstdivision
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I would guesstimate that of the 10K jobs, about 7k are part-time bank teller jobs (minimum wage ftw) and 3K were good paying, but were recently laid off (JPM laid off a a fair amount of their retail side FI/Equity traders/analysts).  And voila! You now can say you're helping the phlebs get jobs.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 08:58 | 1455549 WoodMizer
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Max Keiser supports ZH, but I keep reading posts that suggest he is a shill.

If Keiser is a paid mouthpiece, who/whom is he shilling for?

I like the simplicity of his GIABO movement, but some of his socalist rhetoric concerns me.

I am new to Max an I want to know why many ZH members seem to have a negative view of him.

I am not trolling for an argument; I just want to know if he is dangerous.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:17 | 1455625 firstdivision
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Everybody is dangerous to blindly follow.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:31 | 1455692 WoodMizer
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I wasn't planning on following anybody, I am thinking of supporting him as a layman's source for the "Cliff's notes" version current econ events.  I find him caustic, but he is soothing compared to msm econ coverage.

I am more concerned that he might have a connection to the dark side, aka tea party/ Koch bros. 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:54 | 1455765 augie
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TPTB spread disinformation as well man, if your experience with Max has been fruitful, why would you believe another person over yourself? I think of all the conspiracy theories out there, roughly 90% of them are all government generated to destroy the credibility of the 10% that are true. I could be wrong, but I think this applies to the real world as well. 

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:18 | 1455630 firstdivision
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Everybody is dangerous to blindly follow.

Thu, 07/14/2011 - 09:28 | 1455674 Josh Randall
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Mad Max is solid! I don't agree with his AGW stuff but he's obviously smart and passionate and shining a spotlight on murky corners of the financial world people don't get a chance to see or would even know about it if it wasn't for him

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