JPMorgan Seeks To Buy 10% Stake In Twitter For $450 Million, As Dimon Tries To Copycat Goldman In Opening Tech Bubble Shadow Market To High Net Worth Clients

Tyler Durden's picture

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Dr. Porkchop's picture

Credit Default Tweets bitchez.

StychoKiller's picture

Dr. Porkchop, get in this bag, JP Morgue wants to sell you! :>D

Popo's picture

Credit default nothing.

This is essentially a risk free investment. In the event the company gets in financial trouble again, they'll be bailed out.

They get the upside, you get the downside.

repo's picture

This is all in response to the revolutions occuring in the Middle East.

JPMORGANChase is run by the Rockefellers.  They want influence and control over technology that can be used during an unrest.  Just like it is rumored that the Saudi King wants to own Facebook for $150 billion in order to control it and then shut it down if needs be.

 

 

Ray1968's picture

Nah... I don't think that's the case. They're just trying to keep up with the Goldmans.

Tech Bubble Redux.

Michael's picture

If I were interested in controlling the world I would do the same thing.

Rothschild owns Reuters which owns AP. These two media giants disseminate all daily talking points to the big 6 news channels.

Time to break up this monopoly with;

The United States Antitrust Law

The United States Antitrust Law is the body of laws that prohibits anti-competitive behavior (monopoly) and unfair business practices. Antitrust laws are intended to encourage competition in the marketplace. These competition laws make illegal certain practices deemed to hurt businesses or consumers or both, or generally to violate standards of ethical behavior. Government agencies known as competition regulators, along with private litigants, apply the antitrust and consumer protection laws in hopes of preventing market failure. The term antitrust was originally formulated to combat "business trusts", now more commonly known as cartels. Other countries use the term "competition law". Many countries including most of the Western world have antitrust laws of some form; for example the European Union has provisions under the Treaty of Rome to maintain fair competition, as does Australia under its Trade Practices Act 1974.

RICO
The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (commonly referred to as RICO Act or RICO) is a United States federal law that provides for extended criminal penalties and a civil cause of action for acts performed as part of an ongoing criminal organization.

Careless Whisper's picture

and now they own the weather info too. i'm not accusing anyone of planning to frontrun the hedge funds and commodities traders, maybe they just like monopolies.

http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2011/01/31/rothschilds-buy-majority-stake-in-...

 

disabledvet's picture

they've bought the weather!  they've bought the weather!

dick cheneys ghost's picture

angry Irishman talks about the financial crisis in 2 minute video. classic

 

http://nakedempire.wordpress.com/

Michael's picture

I love how the Irish don't hold back throwing the F-bomb around.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Heck disabledvet, they already control it anyways. Now they just want to control dissemination.

So you can stand with hail falling on your head and read "Sunny day" forcast and go nuts with Cog Diss!

And if I were a twitter competitor, I'd be delighted. Once them bankers get you, hockey-stick growth starts to flatten out. You go from being a demand-side, organic company to a supply side, ad-whoring media corporation.

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/the-fascinating-dr-chippalone/

Moe Howard's picture

They are so obvious now with the control of the media. If it were the Italian Mafia that was doing the same thing, there would be an uproar to end uproars. But since the people who own the government are doing it... who is going to protest?  Now they are getting close to having a majority of elitists on the SC. The problem is you can't have RICO trials if the lawyers and judges are in their pockets.

 

 

<HELP> for explanation

theprofromdover's picture

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but if I were the bad guys, buying up ALL the comms. would be the thing to do.

So no surprise. Skype must be def. next.

 

Good thing Egypt, Tunisia, Libya are happening now; gives us in the West the chance to see how momentum runs out if you don't have a viable and and cohesive government-in-waiting. (The generals take over)

Small is beautiful. Every state has to cecede, otherwise you cannot have any real people power.

Atomizer's picture

$2 Billion Federal Reserve Bank Notes Printed 1933/3/20 

I once worked for JP Morgan. We were driven to fail - 1998 Commerical 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZDBtmdOgps

 

:P

Josh Randall's picture

Do they plan to bet against their newest clients too like Goldman ?

Careless Whisper's picture

Twitter has 253 unique users per month? Oh puhleeze. I don't know anyone that uses the twitt. No one! Maybe the revoltists in some parts of the world use it for communication, but are they the target audience for advertisers?

I call bullshit.

 

Careless Whisper's picture

yeah, so. i guess that page alone is worth $10,000,000 ?

dewd, some stupid vid can get 1,000,000 views on youtube in three days. big deal. shanedawson is talented, but how much is his youtube chanel worth? twitter supposedly gets 240 million visitors a month and the shanedawson chanel on youtube gets about 15 million -- so if twitter is worth $4.5 billion, his youtube chanel is worth $250 million???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhK9hSUHm0g

 

 

 

 

 

Moe Howard's picture

The only place I see or hear about 'Twitter' is in the old school media outlets and gigantic corporation comcast mscrap cnnfoxconcrap portal news sites. Those idiots are always bringing up this distraction notalents tweet this or that shit. If I ever saw that krutcher clown on the street I'd ram a tweet up his frigging nose followed by whatever camera that is he is constantly flogging everywhere. These are the people who are going to rule the world and they think a bunch of shitty homepages called facemyplace is worth billions and one line comments are worth billions more? These banksters are only good at bribery and corruption, a good thief doesn't leave a trace, these idiots with MERS and default swaps etc - if we ever have trials they are all hanging, the evidence is everywhere. Shit, Bennie Shalome the Printer brags about giving trillions to his European bank masters. Bring on the guillotines; I'll tweet your ass later.

 

<HELP> for explanation

Careless Whisper's picture

Bring on the guillotines; I'll tweet your ass later.

if i had a facebook page, i would post that on my wall.

Guy Fawkes Mulder's picture

I bet Ashton Kutcher could put you in the hospital if you pissed him off enough.

Under your nose, and while you sleep at night, Twitter (and Facebook) are becoming mainstays in the lives of the younger generations. I actually saw a college girl get really, really upset when her 4G iPhone got too low on battery to leave on. I told her that "if you die in the Matrix, you die in real life" and she was like "Yeah!"

Believe it or not, this slave girl is going to be more valuable in the coming Brave New World Order than the older generation of useless fogeys (more years of obedient, profitable labor left in her than them), and after the martial law and the wars, she will still be alive and still addicted to the internet features provided on her iPhone, and non-believers like you or me will be dead or marginalized.

Facebook and Twitter let rumors and inflammatory videos spread like viruses or wildfire in Egypt within groups of friends and between them. Some are predicting that social media will inflame "anti-dictator" movements in Venezuela and Iran next.

For releasing official news, there's really nothing faster than a tweet. Much like traditional media outlets, sponsorship of barely profitable or unprofitable venues pays itself back when it comes to shaping public opinion. The Morgue and The Squid know what the fuck they are doing by getting involved in the funding of Facebook and Twitter. The profits they will make whether investors and the markets value these companies up or down are a nice bonus.

The 6 Monolithic Corporations That Control Almost Everything We Watch, Hear And Read

Michael's picture

When I use twitter I usually tell everybody what time of day I took a shit.

Guy Fawkes Mulder's picture

No, you don't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07c07pNLqig#at=15

But I can imagine what it would be like if you did.

pitz's picture

I don't know how valuing Twitter at $4.5B gets the country any closer to energy independance, or a host of other goals that actually would make a difference in the lives of Americans. 

At least Pets.com and Webvan.com had business plans. 

gordengeko's picture

Goldman interested in owning a piece (having access to??) of more than 500 million active users personal information, thoughts and photo's.  Now JP Morgue interested in owning a piece (having access to??) over 200 million active users personal/daily thoughts.  Don't know about you but it makes my skin crawl to know these two fucking companies now probably have immediate access to all of this personal info.  Hmmm, could they possibly be collecting some of this data and mining this shit for some kind of purpose?  They already pretty much control the financial realm, so I highly doubt it is just for monetary gain.  I'm no MIT statistical monkey but if my peabrain tells me that if you mine all this personal data and throw it into a large database (hhem...skynet), you could probably figure out some pretty crazy shit (hhem webbot).  NAH

gordengeko's picture

http://advancedtrading.com/algorithms/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=221601101&_requestid=172142

Now tell me G-sacks and JPM don't have some MIT chart/numbers monkey in some back room right now trying to figure out what they can do with all of this personal information.  Collective conscience predicting future trends?  Everything we do is on the grid and accessible.  All it takes is some money, since everyone can be bought nowadays, and you can accumulate pretty much everything on everyone if you had the means to do so.  Facebook/twitter have the most valuable commodity on the planet.  The innermost thoughts, feelings, photo's and activities of the "Human Resources" that they already control.  Since they already know your financial health (or lack thereof), where you live, where you work, etc... you are freely giving them (FOR FREE!!!) the one thing money can't buy.

Moe Howard's picture

Why, also, in the course of one week does Microsoft [hotmail account] and Google [by way of youtube] and faceplace all three suddenly want my mobile phone number in the guise of 'helping' me with better security if I should forget my password?  Am I the only one out there who they are asking, in other words, are they kicking in the door any minute, or do they really want my burner number to help me to a more secure homeland future? Anybody else? Should I lock n load? Shit.

 

<HELP> for explanation

gordengeko's picture

For me anyway, there is no use being protective with your personal information(at least being anal about securing it anyway), for about $50 (or less) anyone with half a brain can probably find a way to know more about you than you know yourself.  www.spokeo.com  And that is just talking about a regluar scam artist looking to steal your identity.  What IS worth protecting is your whereabout's, your thoughts, what you intentions are, etc..  All of which are FREELY posted on FB/twitter.  I hope people can see now why GS/JPM would be so "interested" in becoming an "investor" in these two sites.  Pretty soon most everyone on the planet will have an account with one or both of these.  The only true way of being off the grid is to keep that kind of shit to yourself.  Who knows, maybe the reason why they are so interested in these sites is because they are trying to understand human emotion (V), since they obviously don't give a fuck about this planet or it's people that they control. 

zinag's picture

This is a test.........now how do I get an AV? TIA.....please don't make me twitter for responses.

Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Did you say "tenticles".?

Fuck the morgan with a silver organ.Up the A$$

disabledvet's picture

or is it...testicles.  either way "they have a controlling interest" and "they're wrapped all around that bad boy."

Trimmed Hedge's picture

Twitter valued at $4.5 billion?

Facebook valued at $70 billion??

 

Some firm is estimating that Twitter *might* reach $150 million revenue this year -- giving a "best"-case scenario valuation of "only" 30 times REVENUE.

I have no idea about Facebook.

 

Are either of these companies even profitable??

There are many companies out there who earn $150 million annual PROFIT -- and yet are valued at only a small fraction of the above price-tag.

 

Truly insane!

I know, I know... it's all about "the future"... LOL

 

BTW, I was a GeoCities member back in 1998... you know, back when that was all the rage. You know what GeoCities is up to these days, yes? SHUTTERED YEARS AGO!

Careless Whisper's picture

Are either of these companies even profitable??

that, my dear, is a closely guarded secret, that the offshore "investors" are not entitled to know.

 

Guy Fawkes Mulder's picture

They are absolutely priceless companies for the social control and "human terrain" info.

They are going to be linchpin, sine qua non technologies that the alpha controllers of the coming Brave New World must possess.

This is my smartphone (RFID chip). There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My smartphone, without me, is useless. Without my smartphone, I am useless. 

UninterestedObserver's picture

And without your smartphone we can't eavesdrop on every text,email and conversation nor can we track your every move.

Trimmed Hedge's picture

"They are absolutely priceless companies for the social control and "human terrain" info."

 

I agree somewhat, but only up to a certain point. I'm sure they're using those as a couple selling points to the suckers... I mean "sophisticated investors."

Also, there are probably better methods out there for what you described.

 

Odds are, it's simply more along the lines of a greater-fool bubble, collect their various commissions during the ride, then profit on the inevitable way down.

We've seen this too many times already. Same shit, different "asset." Wash, rinse, repeat....

Careless Whisper's picture

@ Guy Fawkes Mulder

Harry, did you change your screen name?

 

Guy Fawkes Mulder's picture

My name is Charlie... Sheen.

http://videogum.com/278921/the-19-best-charlie-sheen-quotes-which-you-trolls-probably-cant-even-process/top-stories

edit: Only idiots think that "@" means you are talking "at" someone. The syntactical meaning of "@" is to immediately identify an account. On Twitter, the effect of denoting "@HamyWanger" is simply to create a link to Hamy's Twitter account. As a side effect, when Hamy is curious he can search for all @HamyWanger references to see who is talking about him or to him. @ is like a # for individual accounts.

Atomizer's picture

Twitter valued at $4.5 billion?

Facebook valued at $70 billion??

 

Who has the FaceFuck business plan to validate these numbers? Me thinks, someone at google and bling are calculating skewed advertisement revenue numbers to bloat this puppy.

Hulk's picture

Same business model as the .coms, no doubt...

Jackagain's picture

Yeah...sweet operation. Get fellow banksters and economic hit men

to create chaos around the world and then get paid for all the tweets and

Facebook activity. Why do you think GS & JPM are timing these buys like this?

 

These companies never guess on investments.......they control investments.

Misean's picture

So, private equity purcharsers of twitter are twats?

mynhair's picture

I have a twit account just to keep imposters away.

Let them buy the whole damn thing.

Jackagain's picture

What's new myn kitty? Stop over the CC for a few laughs.....I'll loan ya a clone.

Cheyenne's picture

I just want to reiterate something Wal$treePro2 said.

Problem is, that motherfucker was so real he can't be imitated.

He could come back, you know, as in spades.

Atomizer's picture

The banking cunts are creating nothing but failure at the expense of gamblers syphoning pennies from a couch.. End of story.