• Monetary Metals
    05/02/2016 - 01:28
    The price of gold shot up this week, and silver moved proportionally. Headlines are screaming for gold to hit $10,000 or $50,000. Does this alleged new bull market have legs?

JPMorgan Pretends To Shut Down All Prop Trading Desks, In Latest Smoke Screen Act Of Volcker Rule "Compliance"

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Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:02 | 555843 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

The only things that happen naturally in an organization are friction, confusion and malperformance.
Everything else is leadership

Wed, 09/01/2010 - 00:27 | 556021 knukles
knukles's picture


As in did the final form Volcker Rule retain the exemption of Banks to trade Gold and Silver for their own accounts under the pretext that such constitutes mainline business?

Betcha, betcha, betcha.....

In days of yore, t'was rumored Kings to be  stingy, not relinquishing the Kingdom's Purse Strings, Departments of Treasure or Mints (and not as in after dinner, little grasshopper).

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:03 | 555851 LePetomane
LePetomane's picture

Oh no!  How will I go on?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:05 | 555857 Voodoo-economist
Voodoo-economist's picture

uhm would that include their notorious PM intervention team?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:07 | 555863 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

shit if they did that gold would be 2000 in a week :)

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:27 | 555944 taraxias
taraxias's picture

Don't get too excited, they are being transfered over to the FED

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:07 | 555867 silvertrain
silvertrain's picture

 Going to have to ask the doj on that one, ive been wondering how that investigation is going..

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:07 | 555868 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

DON'T SAY THESE THINGS! You're scaring the kids!

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:24 | 555933 Treeplanter
Treeplanter's picture

It appears they were active today.  Fat chance they go away.  Smoke and mirrors.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:06 | 555859 Man with no name
Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:13 | 555889 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

"We’ve got too many banks chasing too little volume..." She said.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:34 | 555968 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

Also look at the ES vol vs Index option volume... all humans are gone

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:15 | 555895 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

hmm... looks like pretty old news. 3/8/2010

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:16 | 555902 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

“No one’s going to get screwed. We’re not going to do crazy things on compensation at the end of the year.”






Whenever somebody tells me : don't worry, I WORRY!

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 16:05 | 556088 mephisto
mephisto's picture

“No one’s going to get screwed. We’re not going to do crazy things on compensation at the end of the year, because you won't be here to pay by then.”

Fixed it for you.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 18:20 | 556413 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Blythe, such a lying ho, must have been difficult for JD to cut this money losing department.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:25 | 555936 DosZap
DosZap's picture


It's shit like this, that makes me puke........

“Don’t panic,” she said in summing up the 35-minute call, a recording of which was obtained by Bloomberg News. “No one’s going to get screwed. We’re not going to do crazy things on compensation at the end of the year.”

Meanwhile, back at the Gruel bowls..........

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:06 | 555860 Ragnarok
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I, as a casual poster on ZH and contributing nothing of substance to the process, demand more details! ;)

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:09 | 555875 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

and I demand more nudity on this site!

Robotrader where are you!

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:26 | 555940 DosZap
DosZap's picture


He Exfoliated............

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:30 | 555956 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

Gold is up today...probably won't see him come around until the next $2 cliff dive...

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:06 | 555861 ginunn
ginunn's picture

Will this - should this - have any impact on their massive short positions in the metals precious metals markets?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:23 | 555931 Tarheel
Tarheel's picture

i imagine it would be terrible for gold and silver, but would provide a great buying opp afterwards

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:26 | 555942 midtowng
midtowng's picture

Well it certainly helped precious metals today.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:31 | 555961 fuu
fuu's picture

Or the move in metals today helped with the decision to cease operations...

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:57 | 556049 knukles
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They're probably trading those positions on behalf of some unknown client account......

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:07 | 555862 barthezz
barthezz's picture

Guess I need to start my phd now that the free money is gone or I apply at the FED... BPS is still hiring...


Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:08 | 555870 BlackBeard
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Sr. Ethics Specialist, fuck yeah!  Kick up the feet....

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:14 | 555896 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Trader position open as well

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:18 | 555912 koaj
koaj's picture

NYFRB Trader job description:

-normal hours are 8-4

-come in and set Atari to "BUY EVERYTHING"

-put your feet up and play Tetris for the rest of the day

-at 4p, turn off Atari

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:21 | 555923 What_Me_Worry
What_Me_Worry's picture

What, no porn?  Eff that, I'm going to the SEC then.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:28 | 555945 LePetomane
LePetomane's picture


Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:23 | 555928 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

If you want, I can mail you a PHD template where you can fill in whatever you want and print it.

For the gold seal, you can try to find something in the bonbon box that looks like a seal.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:08 | 555865 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Tyler -

if true what does this portend for the ownly (freudian slip) 2 forms of real money?


Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:07 | 555866 Shameful
Shameful's picture

This could be really funny if true.  Would love to see the action of them closing out the commodity positions. Need more info.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:13 | 555887 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Funny thing is that CITI just started a commodity propping desk. Maybe they are playing tag team for the smoke and mirror act?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:14 | 555893 Voodoo-economist
Voodoo-economist's picture

someone closed lots of positions during the last dip, OI plunged quite hard. Maybe related if true. 

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:08 | 555871 MrTrader
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Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:11 | 555884 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Fuck the P.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:17 | 555906 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

What if the P = Pomona?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:09 | 555874 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

What's going to happen to all the Umpa Lumpas that operate these pump machines? I guess they have to beg Willy Wonka to hire them back

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 21:49 | 556717 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

They're finding positions with their cousins, the Grunka-Lunkas, making Slurm.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:10 | 555878 silvertrain
silvertrain's picture

 They are probably just relocating it to Singapore, Isnt that where there new Gold Bullion outlet is supposed to be started in September?

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:15 | 555897 What_Me_Worry
What_Me_Worry's picture

What kind of world are we living in where an honest American company, like JPM/Chase's commodity trading unit, can't go on making an honest living in America?  Courtesy of us giving them interest-free, risk-free loans of course.  Yet, it is still a sad day.

I will buy more puts, in their honor.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:15 | 555900 Hansel
Hansel's picture

They don't want in these markets.  They just want a % of whatever you plan on doing in these markets.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:16 | 555901 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

 JPMORGUEN.....the legend lives on.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:20 | 555917 Pondmaster
Pondmaster's picture

EST 11:55 silver prices took a noce slide shortly after lunch (in New Yorks finest cafes )

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:21 | 555919 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Some great comedy on BBTV with Jeremy Siegel giving his usual stand up routine.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:23 | 555930 aldousd
aldousd's picture

JPM appears, even through the crisis, to be good at anticipating future political fallout. Perhaps this is an indication that prop traders are about to get politically gang raped by the bully pulpit.  I'm not defending them, per se, but they have been politically savvy, and have remained just a few steps ahead of the rest of the pack for the past few years on that front.  This is not a commentary on what a sad state of affairs we're in when politics determines the course a gigantic corporation will take, but simply an observation.

Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:31 | 555959 No One
No One's picture

I doubt JPM is anticipating anything. I am willing to bet that Obama's team lobbed a friendly call to President Dimon. You know, a little heads up... 

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