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"Ladies And Gentlemen: This Is A Bank" - The Fed Provides A Critical Resource To Clueless Bank Directors... Or Has A Very Twisted Sense Of Humor
Tracy Alloway at FT Alphaville has caught what has got to be a glitch in the Bernanke matrix. The Federal Reserve, in what one can assume is likely a very critical resource for bank directors, says that while newly appointed Bank Directors may have such mission critical skills as "basic management experience and skills, an inquisitive attitude, and a willingness to commit time and energy to bank matters" they likely miss "a basic knowledge of banking and what to consider in overseeing a bank." Well thank goodness the Fed is there with this critical 5-minute guide in providing bank directors with all the information they need on how to to run a bank. And they wonder why some are skeptical about the soundness of the bank system.
As Tracy highlights, the key point for those charged with the critical task of ensuring the stability of the financial system:
“Many people who are asked to serve on bank boards have little training or experience to prepare them for their new roles,”
said Patrick M. Parkinson, director of the Federal Reserve Board’s
Division of Banking Supervision and Regulation. “This website has been
developed with new directors in mind, but there is plenty of useful
information for those who have already spent time on bank boards.”
And:
While a director’s job is important and carries responsibility, it may not be as daunting as it first appears.
In fact, you can effectively use your knowledge and experience gained
from your own profession in your role as a director. It is likely you
already possess many of the attributes of an effective director
- basic management experience and skills,
- an inquisitive attitude, and
- a willingness to commit time and energy to bank matters.
The only thing that may be missing is a basic knowledge of banking and what to consider in overseeing a bank.
The discussion that follows focuses on the basics of being a director.
The legendary Green Bay Packers football coach, Vince Lombardi,
recognized the importance of teaching basics to his players. Even after
winning championships and being surrounded by future Hall-of-Fame
players, Lombardi had a tradition of beginning every preseason training
camp the same way. He stood before his players, football in hand, and
said, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” He assumed his players were a
blank slate at the beginning of each season. With that in mind, we begin with the basic discussion, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is a bank.”
What the hell is going on?
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"What the hell is going on?"
In the same way that the last thing the ruling class wishes to see in a population is an engaged, aware and proactive citizenry (the ideal is one that is disaffected, disinterested, distracted and mentally and physically unhealthy, thus easily cowed) neither do they wish to have proactive and healthy directors.
So apart from the seats the management controls through various means, the remaining directors need to have an effective education level of my 9 year old grandson.
PlayStation anyone?
They got a whole bunch of Doublespeak guides for new squids:
Even the Treasury has their own anti-terror unit:
http://www.ustreas.gov/offices/enforcement/ofac/
Their motto: Ignorance is Strength.
---
Here's some more comedy for the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZPJnrbq6qo
Many critical professions require certifications before one can even get close to making decisions professionally.
Apparently overseeing a Bank isn't one of those professions. Having dumped trillions into propping up the Banking system, it strikes me that it's now time to insist on more training than a video for 3rd graders.
I'd also add that the "Money as Debt" video should also be required viewing:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2550156453790090544#
In fact, this should be mandatory viewing in order to get a High School Diploma.
Amen
the new ABA/IFE Fed course for Bank Director's Open Book Test, of course. guess, Mortgage Banking 101 is not applicable ANY...MORE! They must pass the course to obtain tenacles, brilliant. Obstacle course and maze on final.
Perhaps even worse is when Bernanke stands before Congress with his Fed presentation and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen: this is a bank.” And they cheer and reappoint him. Have they no shame?
And have they no shame, the big government boosters (shades of Sunstein?) who are arriving daily on Zero Hedge to block the calls for stopping the greed monsters.
Government spending swallows 38 percent of GDP, annual deficits are hitting 10 percent of GDP; the debt ceiling heads for $15 Trillion and the Congressional Budget Office says we’re on track for the debt to equal 100 percent of national income within this decade.
Investment bankers are looting the Treasury, both political parties now have street cred worse than John Edwards, and the most big government president in history is creating jobs by taking away jobs.
TARP inspector general Barofsky says, regarding the 2008 financial cliff hanger: “We are still driving on that same winding mountain road, but this time in a faster car.”
Barofsky’s report says the government now “has done more than simply support the mortgage market, in many ways it has become the mortgage market, with the taxpayer shouldering the risk that had once been borne by the private investor.”
For us, the American citizens, the controlling reins of our government have been taken from our hands. The pages written by James Madison are now in the hands of Barney Frank.
“When we are born, we cry, that we are come to this great stage of fools.” –King Lear
The levels of public apathy and ingnorance are astounding. Just as in Plato's cave they will fight you when you offer the truth - and they are the ones that are chained.
That looks like an example website on 1and1.
I wonder if the FED has developed a similar course for the Senators and Congressmen who sit on the various banking committees. If the recent hearings are any indication they badly need basic bank training also.
I understand the direction of your comments but they remind me of rule one in any corporate or political power setting. The higher positions in ANY organization are always political appointments, not intelligence or skill appointments.
It's who you know and blow, not your qualifications that determines your ability to take the seat. I'm reminded of a local bank that some years ago decided they were now big enough to need a VP of Information Technology. Did they pick someone who understood networks or programing or even someone who could change out a video card?
Nope, the person selected was famously ignorant when it came to computers, software or the location of the on/off button on his PC. BUT he was very good as a Hoover vacuum cleaner and thus fit nicely into the slut...er...slot.
IT suffered for years and still does. But management is still delighted with their selection because after 7 years, the VP of IT can now turn his computer on and off.
This describes corporate America beautifully. No wonder we get our asses kicked. The peter principal - fuck up, move up.
Eh, duplicate. But I won't waste it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amOcenOhxGo
Outside NYC I meet the clueless face to face.
"I'm in banking" RBS JPM ( I'm one mile from Wilton Connecticut's AIG ) If you ask them to discribe the fiat paper we use daily "What is it? What IS money? What is written on the paper?" They think you're spoofing them.
They're too smart to have to concern themselves with such details.
The ATM's on the RBS learning campus in Scotland are stuffed with RBS notes. Wonderland by design.
"You can just make words mean anything you want said Alice"
The retort came as follows:
"The question is not what do the words mean, but who is to be The Master?"
To be fair, they nailed the target demographic.
LOL
One of my business acquaintances is a senior officer in a large business unrelated to banking. She was asked to become a member of a regional Federal Reserve Bank board (not NY). She replied that she didn't know anything about banking or economics, and was told that that was no problem at all, they preferred people with outside perspectives.
Interesting.
It sounds like an add for the local car wash.
Help wanted at local Fed Reserve bank. Experience not required and the propensity to doze during board meetings a plus. Please bring resume along with a Big Mac and fries to 1022 Main Street..........
and really, don't lose sleep over your new responsibilities
oh that web site is too funny. i failed question #1:
Check all that apply. A bank is a:
_ ATM
_ financial intermediary
_ a riskless enterprise
_ corporate entity
This is as weird as Uncle Sugar's upcoming " Austerity Handbook " for fellow Comrades in the People's Republik of Kalifornia. Intro : " Quit spending money you don't have because you're not allowed to print it ".
And the aforementioned bank training course should lead off with a well-known introduction : " The safest way to rob a bank is to own one ".
There is a condition that is worse than being blind.
It's imagining that you can see.
Back during the last years of the first Skull and Bone head; Daddy Bushwhacker, ''read my lips'' liar, I went to a local church in the D.C. Norther Virginia area one day. This nutball church invited a well known world renown Washington political insider and their claim to fame is, they are a master of political public speech.
The goal being taught was, how to speak with people you are trying to influence. At one point I was call by the scumbag expert ''a crusader'', after I said ''why don't you just tell people the truth?''. Keep in mind, this jerk bragged about all the people the skill being offered, which has influenced people like, The President(s) of the United States and other leader of nations, CEO's etc...
This so called ''church'' and this pathetic ''after church'' lesson on how to lie was filled with heavy hitting jerks that live and work the local scene inside the Beltway.
Well, that was some time ago and now as a witness, the teaching of ''how to be a successful liar'' has reach a level beyond tolerable.
Not only are the local churches under the strong delusion of such offers, the general public keeps buying selling and trading the lie.
There are no ''institutions'' here inside the noose of the Beltway that are not compromised and corrupt to the point where even the insiders are beginning to fear their own contempt.
People that are not ''mentally institutionalized'' by the new conventional environment clearly know and are able to see beyond ''read my lips'' at this point, even if they are young and ''can't recall'' the past ''pardon me'' times, time and again, the lie has become too obvious at this point even for the blind deaf and voiceless.