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Leave Dennis Alone!

Benjamin N. Dover III's picture


He's been called "schlubby," "functionally retarded" and a "total idiot tool." He's been accused of "carping, acting out, and cartoonish behavior." His name is fast entering the vernacular as a synonym for "uber-douchebag." (As in, "Joe Kernen may be an even bigger Kneale than Donald Trump. Nah . . . Trump is way Knealier.") One blogger is so perplexed by his bizarre and annoying behavior that she's resorted to armchair psychoanalysis to understand him ("[W]hat happened to this guy in childhood, or adolescence, or a previous life that made him the way he is today? It has to have been something horrific, right? You can't just be born like this, can you?") He himself admits he has a "high obnoxious quotient" (and that's apparently after trying to "reign it in"). And judging by the comments on this site and countless others, there seems to be a widespread obsession with inflicting damage on his reproductive organs.

No, they're not talking about Glenn Beck. These uncivil and unprovoked attacks are directed at Dennis Kneale, CNBC anchor and financial reporter par excellence. Is it any wonder he momentarily lost his composure recently while addressing bloggers on his show?

These Kneale-bashing "digital dickweeds" -- as Dennis so cleverly called them -- don't seem to understand that ad hominem attacks have no place in journalism. They insist on lambasting Dennis for every minor foible (who hasn't copped a double-feel off a colleague and a subordinate's wife in the back of a taxicab -- with her husband present?) and weakness (who doesn't carry a 2X3 of Jamie Dimon in their wallet?).

But the truth, I suspect, is that they're just jealous. It's not difficult to see why. First, Dennis has unmatched insight -- like the time he suggested on-air that Steve Jobs' health issues were really just a case of "PMS". The fact that the suggestion came totally out of left field makes it all the more original and gutsy. Second, he's a paragon of journalistic integrity and decorum. His comment that successful financial news TV is all about creating "conflict, drama and struggle" to "fool" people into learning, makes perfect sense. After all, what is journalism but the the art of deceiving people for their own good? And third, to top it all off, he has the rugged good looks that one would expect of a bona-fide TV personality (no, that's not a pompadour, and yes, the camera does add a couple of chins).

Like the other members of the insignicant new media, Tyler and this website are also guilty of giving Kneale a digital wedgie. So what if Dennis refused your offer to contribute to ZH or participate in an open and unscripted debate? When one's busy trying to hold on to one's coveted 8:00pm timeslot on CNBC one doesn't have time to trifle with the irrelevant bloggers that one devotes airtime to chastising. And if you're so much smarter than Dennis, how come you don't have your own financial entertainment show? Anyone can present facts, figures and cogent opinion, but only a select few have that je-ne-veux-pas-savoire-quoi that makes a Kneale.

So to all the cowardly anonymous dickweeds out there, please stop saying Dennis is a pompous, half-witted meathead who'll do anything for ratings. Or that he's a sycophantic stooge of the banking industry. Or that his attitude should be adjusted with a pair of plyers and a blowtorch. (And, while we're on the subject, the "Sterilize Dennis Kneale Before It's Too Late" T-Shirts are really uncalled for.) Instead, take a cue from the ladies in that taxicab, and just leave Dennis (and his reproductive organs) alone.


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Sun, 08/02/2009 - 01:07 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/01/2009 - 15:26 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/01/2009 - 14:05 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/01/2009 - 14:35 | Link to Comment ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Sorry..cannot leave DK alone. As I posted on Karl Denninger's MarketTicker after watching these:

One thing ya gotta give credit to DK on - he was honest on one thing - at least we know he only cares that the market goes up and that money can be made - the facts, math, and related suffering folks be damned. As long as he has his...he proved what a morally corrupt person he is. He is truly a dickweed.

In that way he seems to be speaking not only for himself but CNBC as a whole.

Hey Dennis - here's a piece of math: it is reported the CNBC viewership is down 28% YoY and I'll bet the second derivative of that stat isn't showing any green shoots.


Sat, 08/01/2009 - 04:16 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Sat, 08/01/2009 - 00:53 | Link to Comment Sigma X
Sigma X's picture

CNBC is brought to you by the Sham-Wow and denture cream.  Oh yea, and  Who do they think is watching I wonder?  Its gone from appealing to a mostly investment industry based crowd, to mom and pops, gram and gramps.  If there's not a story, the markets weaker/stronger than in recent memory, they're doing something wrong these days.  Turn off, tune out, drop the remote.  No need to discuss how irrelevant Dennis Kneels is, just ignore him and the "summer rally" edition of squawk box...

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 23:39 | Link to Comment GWTH
GWTH's picture

Ben Dover has either co-opted Maureen Dowd's soul, or...

You know what they pay her Benny? Ben D. Yeup, wait for applause. 

As for DK:

Sat, 08/01/2009 - 00:40 | Link to Comment MinnesotaNice
MinnesotaNice's picture

I agree that there is a distinct Maureen Dowd flavor to Mr. Benjamin N. Dover's writing style... and I love Maureen Dowd... however Mr. Dover you need to include at least five words in each column that your readers have never heard in their lives, nor will expect to hear again, before you will have a chance of attaining the fine journalistic standards of Ms. Dowd. 

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 22:27 | Link to Comment mark mchugh
mark mchugh's picture

Brilliantly written, Benjamin!

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 21:41 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 19:28 | Link to Comment Trader Joe
Trader Joe's picture




Dennis Kneale

....really.....I do


Fri, 07/31/2009 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 15:48 | Link to Comment Marley
Marley's picture

OK, time to show my colors.  I make my moral case this way.  Business wants and has obtained individual constitutional rights.  Individual rights have been the cornerstone of western society, afterall.  Also if an "individual" conducts themselves in a psychotic manner that creates an endangerment to themselves or society, we incarcerate them.  The hypocrisy is, though, as long as a "business" makes profits, psychotic behavior is OK.  It's OK to kill or oppress millions of "individuals", as long as those individuals are of different color, race, religous belief, etc.  It's OK to hijack a nation's military might for business purposes (since most businesses don't have a military to support "national interests" yet, they use your tax dollar supported military).  It's OK to falsify quarterly earnings.  It's OK to pump and dump.  It's OK to cheat millions out of their life savings and endanger their subsistance.  "CNBC made $ 330 mil last year.  yippie!  Oh, buy the way your 401K isn't worth squat, because you've been lied to about inflation, unemployment, the economy, and who knows whatelse, but hey, CNBC made $330 mil last year."  What is wrong here?  Am I the only one that feels this way?  If that is the case, I'm proud to be called a "dickweed".  I'd rather be a dickweed in an equatable world than an enabler of the killing fields.  Just saying.

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 19:13 | Link to Comment Pietro_F
Pietro_F's picture

Business is the confluence of individual efforts.

Sat, 08/01/2009 - 12:08 | Link to Comment Marley
Marley's picture

I see, so that's how they sleep at night.

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 17:51 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 22:17 | Link to Comment Cheeky Bastard
Cheeky Bastard's picture

dennis kneale is just a little bitch who sucks on immelts cock so he could keep his lame ass job with Z rated media outlet .. period .


edit: thank you for the tumbs down Beaker

Sat, 08/01/2009 - 13:29 | Link to Comment bbbilly1326
bbbilly1326's picture

FYI, there is nothing inherently wrong in sucking cock .....except if you're a homophobic bigot.

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Joanito
Joanito's picture

Dennis Kneale is a reasonable enough comedian, but he crossed whatever line of integrity there ever may have been for tele-econo-tainment-esque tv semi-serious news like substance when he started going after bloggers.  If he was serious about seeming serious, he would have just accepted that he is a target for criticism, like all other media and political types, and kept spewing his dribble without so much as a mention of blog world. 

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 13:27 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 13:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 12:34 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 12:06 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 11:03 | Link to Comment erich
erich's picture

Jamie Dimon is very alluring.  Can't blame anyone for noticing.

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 10:26 | Link to Comment D.O.D.
D.O.D.'s picture


hmmm, I'm a lil rusty on my swiss, but does that say,

"you don't have that thing that i don't know what it is"?

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 10:01 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 09:56 | Link to Comment Danz Gambit
Danz Gambit's picture

I thought DK had been declared persona non grata on ZH - best to leave it that way.

Well written article though, thanks Ben

Fri, 07/31/2009 - 09:47 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 17:44 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 09:46 | Link to Comment Anonymous
Fri, 07/31/2009 - 08:36 | Link to Comment Anonymous
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