Listing The Best Replacements For Larry Summers

Tyler Durden's picture

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traderjoe's picture

I'm glad to hear stuff like this coming from Bloomberg, which every now and then slips in a bit of truth to try to stay credible. 

I'm not intimately familiar with the matter, but I'd take a bit of disagreement with listing Hank Greenberg. While I'm sure he's not a prince, he wasn't at the company when all of the CDS naked writing took place...

bigdumbnugly's picture

how about daffy duck???

he's just a duck, but he's a greeeeedy little duck.

bigdumbnugly's picture

man i miss those.  thanks for that shameful.

alas, yes, i suppose one could say daffy is pretty much pro-gold.

Shameful's picture

 I love loony toons, shame kids don't get it now.  Made it my mission to make sure my nephews have access to them.  They of course love it :)

bigdumbnugly's picture

couldn't agree more.  in fact i had a hard time deciding which would be my avatar - bluto or foghorn. 

but now in honor of "the tunes" i'm switching to that other big, dumb, and ugly hero of mine...

Lord Peter Pipsqueak's picture

How about Kenneth Lay?Talent like that should not go to waste.

A bit hard to get hold of these days,try P.O.Box 88888 Paraguay.

cossack55's picture

Or his next-door neighbor, Hermann Goering.  His 4-year plans kept a broke economy going for years.  Guns or butter updated to guns and butter.

old_turk's picture

Ken died right before he was to go to trial.

His forwarding address is now:

POBox 666

Hell, Hell 666

knukles's picture

Way too suspicious.  Bet he's really alive and well living incognito as the janitor at the International UFO Museum & Research Center in Roswell.  Late day before closing, they let him parade about in an alien gray latex gimp suit.

Restcase's picture

At his current address, he wears a wooden overcoat and gophers deliver the mail.

TradingJoe's picture

I don't understand what you people want, the above are all "nice dudes", highly qualified to break a cup while getting some water and while they are at it leave the Pipes rusty! :-))

Everyman's picture

The great Carnac!

Answer:  A monkey, a solar calculator, and a case of bananas.

Question:  What is the best replacement fo Larry Summers?

sweet ebony diamond's picture


This guy is more than welcome in the ZH bleachers.

cougar_w's picture

I would have expected Ghengis Khan in there somewhere. Guy knew how to destroy an empire. Oh I guess he's dead now. He should still be on the list to show that we're serious.

DonnieD's picture

Nero would be a perfect fit.

cougar_w's picture

Zactly! Who are these other no-name clowns anyway? Real class-A destroyers or GTFO.

Art Vandelay's picture

Great list, but I think that many of these people are already under consideration as the next manager of the Chicago Cubs.

old_turk's picture

Left off Bozo the Clown.

Oh! Wait!

He's dead too ... dang.

And Twicky the Twerp has bookings through 2012.


FEDbuster's picture

Chris Dodd is at the top of my list.  He is available, he is responsible for much of the mess, he is not in jail (yet) and he has already been paid off by the Banksters.

Peter Schiff is my dark horse pick.  He would spice up the meetings, he is not afraid to call a spade a spade (you know what I mean),  he has some great ideas to really fix the economy and he could bargain for a get out of jail free card for his Dad.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

I take it satan is too busy for the job?

dukeland's picture

Berney Mad_OFF anyone? Now this guy could teach OBAMAO how to cheat even more.

Common_Cents22's picture

Madoff could make government very efficient.  He only needed an old IBM 386 pc to run things.   Ahh throw in a bigazz laser printer and plenty of bill stock.

dukeland's picture

He dosent need the IBM m/c any more. OBAMOA gang has already dispensed with the Accounting rule book. No need to hide behind the phony audited numbers. Hell with proper staticstics .. just take a cue from Greece, now Spain or even its own Dept of Labor (or Dept of Lies).




sumo's picture

Phil Gramm, the former senator for Enron.

Spalding_Smailes's picture

Maybe Phil Gramm can come back to complete what he started ...


..."the Gramm Lach Bliley Act in 1999, that was authored by three Republicans, Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas, Congressmen Thomas Bliley of Virginia and Jim Leach of Iowa. This bill overturned the Glass Steagall Act and allowed for the absolute deregulation of the banks when awarding loans"...

Duuude's picture



One Prankster to rule them all.


Bring back tha Hankster.



Bankster T Cubed's picture

I can't believe you forgot candidates #1 and #2


CHARLES PONZI (his exhumed body)

goldmiddelfinger's picture

The bespeckled mortgage broker who's always foiled by Ditech

Catullus's picture

Mishkin and krugman.

buzzsaw99's picture

i nominate tweedledum.

Screwloose's picture


How could they overlook the one man with a sol[i]d gold reputation for destroying any economy?

It's got to be... Gordon Brown.


Kataphraktos's picture

Wait, didn't Jimmy Cayne kill himself by jumping in front of a subway train?

Oh, wait...

Scisco's picture

May I humbly suggest Jim Cramer? We need to make the politicians look hip again now that Obama has lost his shine.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Break Bernie Madoff out, he can get the job done!

contrabandista13's picture

You beat me too it dude....  he wouldn't even have to move from his current lodgings.

still kicking's picture

I'm disappointed, nobody mentioned Jimmy "the fuckup" Cramer.

Shameful's picture

I think the list got truncated, I found the rest.

Beelzebub: The Lord of the Flies and the Demon Prince of Gluttony.  Naturally he is a shoe in as Summers the Hutt has been under the tutelage of old Beelz.  On the plus side not only is Beelz more personable then Summers the Hutt, he also has an old world charm about him.  Negatives: Might put forward the wrong example to kids about over eating.

Abaddon: The Destroyer. As the great destroyer no one would be more fitting to oversea the current economy and help bring about change.  After all you can't have change without destruction!

Mammon: God of Wealth.  It may be hard to pull him away from his job at GS, but what a boon it would be to the administration to have the personification of greed right next door.  No more need to call up the Street and ask, greed itself would be present in the flesh! As a side bonus he was Hell's ambassador to England so I'm sure he can clear up the BP spat.

Belphegor: Lord of the Opening. A natural choice because his presence can grant wealth and new discoveries.  He does tend to be a bit moody and a controversial figure, but after Summers the Hutt it should be no problem to deal with.  Might be a long shot because he is difficult to lock down in a contract, but should the administration be willing to make the "sacrifice" we are hopeful they could secure a being to help bring wealth and innovation back to the US.

/For my own perosnal decsion I would love to see a Jim Rogers or someone who at least is not openly praising crony capitalism.  Though I will see one of the choices I list above far before that happens.

H. Perowne's picture

What, no love for Gordon Gekko? I mean, they had Colbert testifying in character just last week in front of Congress. Why not just give up any pretense of being responsible adults on the Hill?

StychoKiller's picture

Responsible adults on the Hill?  You sell unicorns, don't you?

Dismal Scientist's picture

You need a European socialist if you're really going to hit a home run on economics. Either that or an Icelandic banking boss. Remember these guys actually have experience in destroying a country as well as a company.

mynhair's picture

How about Colbert?  Some one to make us laugh as we go down the tubes.

willien1derland's picture

With all due respect I think in a bid to reduce the deficit we outsource this role - C'mon you can all call the office & receive superior customer service!