This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Live-Like State of the Union Updates Pre/Post Game and During the State of the Union General Motors Halftime Show

Marla Singer's picture




 

Granted, we are working from a rather small sample size, as we don't often pay attention to State of the Union speeches, but if the pre-game hints of the potential blusterfuck post-game are any indication, the latest American Apology Tour is composed entirely of domestic flights, and filled with alliteration.  Like, for example, the gist of the pre-game talking points purportedly passed out by the White House yesterday (complete with patented Zero Hedge EasyStand annotations and unredacted staff notes):

Allow us to translate for you, as between the "law of threes" and the repeatedly awful attempts at clever word games, you are as likely to vomit up your lunch as to have your faith in the administration (or anything else) restored.

 

Topline Points: Pre-State of the Union

**Not for Distribution**

Rescue [from the second great depression], Rebuild [the economy- great job on this by the way] and Restore [America's world leadership in the category of kowtows per hundred foreign dignitary hours].  (Hereinafter "R.R.R.")

No president in our lifetime has ever faced the challenges Obama has.  ("...unparalleled in our lifetime.")  [I mean give the guy a break, it's his first year on the job].

$1.3 trillion deficit blah blah blah economy, two wars blah blah blah health care costs blah blah blah bush sucked blah blah can I borrow a dollar please please please blah blah blah.

Faced with daunting challenges [Plouffe, can we get Jack Nicholson in a Marine uniform to chime in "Is there any other kind?" for the cameras after the speech?] Obama took strong and politically-difficult [You were right Rahm, "politically=suicidal" didn't exactly convey a positive message here] steps to R.R.R. blah blah blah.

Within one month of his inaugural, President Obama had shepherded [no, really, they used this word] the most far-reaching [and most limited grasping] [Five Year] economic plan in American history.  One year later we are beginning to see signs of [something... Rahm? Line please?]

The President saved or created (approximately) -1 second great depressions.  [Phew!  That was close, eh?]

The third derivative of jobs is 10% of its previous level one year ago and if you double count the hunk of GDP from last year that went to taxes by counting it again when we spend it this year as stimulus, you can sometimes squint and see some unusual growths on the economy's pancreas.

The President has been laying a New DealFoundation for [non]working families, [formerly listed large-cap but now] small business owners and economic competitiveness [compared to Venezuela].

Changing the way business is done in Washington [yeah, that's true, actually] standing up to special interests [like taxpayers] and making government [inspectors general] more accountable etc. etc.

Blah blah blah Iraqhanistan-wait-what's-that-behind-you-I-could-swear-I-saw-something-now-it's-gone-where-were-we-again and strengthening ties with the people who ordinarily control the section of [the Islamic Republic of] Pakistan defined by the better neighborhoods in Islamabad and 50m on either side of the M-2 motorway.

We are closer than ever [except maybe 1994, 1962, 1958, 1955, 1947, 1931 and 1917] on real health reform.

President Obama has also signed historic legislation.  [Again, can we get a Jack with "Is there any other kind?"]

For the first time evv-ah every visitor to the White House is being put on a list, resulting in an important subsidy to manufacturers of SCIP/STE secure phones which are now used to conduct all secret meetings.  The reduced travel also creates a smaller carbon footprint, making this White House visitors program the greenest in the history of North American plate tectonics.

We've also eliminated the influence of [non-approved] lobbyists.

After one momentous year [we sure this is how we want to put this?] in office, President Obama has governed as he said he would, making tough decisions instead of deferring them, thinking about the long-term well-being of the country['s unions] and not just his own, oneshort-term politics.

Make sure to refresh this page during the address if you experience dizziness, nausea or incontinence.

8:01: No, Barry, there is no "on time."  There is only early or late.

8:02:  Joe Biden looks like an ad for Crest Whitening Strips.  Biden and Pelosi in the same shot is all the argument against HDTV that ever need be presented.

8:04:  We are rooting for Pelosi to hit Biden's hand with the gavel.

8:06-8:08:  That's a lot of clapping for a non-campaign event.

8:09:  Make it look good Pelosi.  Party unity.  Make it look good.  I mean it.  That's right.  Strong smile.

8:12:  The Teleprompter bounce (left... right... left... right...) in full effect.

8:13:  One year ago I took office with two wars... a disastrous economy and...

Does this self-congratulation ever get old?  Apparently not.  It is starting to feel like an old Yorkshiremen sketch.

Depending on what your definition of "strong" is, our Union is strong.

8:17:  Looks like we are in for the "double down" strategy instead of a move to the center.  Can't say that's surprising.

8:18:  We all hated the bank bailout.  About as popular as a root canal.  (Thanks, I'll be here all week).

8:19:  Unemployment might be double what it is today.  (Yes, he actually said this).

War declared on big banks.  Congress cheers.  That will about do it for our coverage.

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 01/27/2010 - 19:45 | 208441 jm
jm's picture

They desperately need a half-time snoozer show celebrity appearance...

Michael Buble singing "Pennies from Heaven"?

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:31 | 208523 Steak
Steak's picture

ALL WHO DON'T HAVE POLITICALLY INCLINED FRIENDS!!!

SOTU DRINKING GAME ON ZH IRC!

http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=2c47eb3d297676f4aa7fcbfc65254485&serv...

here are the rules:

http://www.drinkinggame.us/

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:35 | 208712 strike for retu...
strike for return to reality's picture

Everything that needs to be understood about the US govt.

www.ae911truth.org

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:16 | 208764 Wilderman
Wilderman's picture

First time in 25 years of watching these events that I recall open, mocking laughter during the president's address.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 19:51 | 208445 Zippyin Annapolis
Zippyin Annapolis's picture

What they need is Change as in Change the subject--

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:00 | 208460 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

just replace the word "we" with the word "I" and you've nailed it

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:04 | 208464 exportbank
exportbank's picture

I've worked in some "unusual" countries - when things got to be so funny that you knew the show couldn't go on much longer - it didn't.
It won't be a fun outcome.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:14 | 208471 Verum
Verum's picture

"The third derivative of jobs is 10% of its previous level one year ago and if you double count the hunk of GDP from last year that went to taxes by counting it again when we spend it this year as stimulus, you can sometimes squint and see some unusual growths on the economy's pancreas."

-Pure Genius, thank you Marla

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:18 | 208476 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Barney Fife lives!!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:29 | 208483 GlassHammer
GlassHammer's picture

I am cleaning my dishes. 

Let me be clear, there will be no streaks in order to make these dishes as transparent as possible.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 09:06 | 208917 35Pete
35Pete's picture

Make no mistake, sometimes you have to make the tough, unpopular choices, like Palmolive over generic, to assure the shiniest plates that all at the table deserve.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:31 | 208486 chet
chet's picture

The main purpose fo the modern State of the Union (no matter which Prez is giving it) is to give the columnists from Politico, Slate and Time magazine something to talk to each other about for a week. 

They'll blather on about how this is a "game changer" (good or bad) until they realize no one is listening, then they'll change the subject.

That's about it.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:32 | 208487 Anonymous
Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:34 | 208489 Tell me lies
Tell me lies's picture

Does anyone really need to watch this nonsense? I think we can all figure out what will be said and it won't be hope/change. That's in the crapper now thanks to S. Brown and the realization that the american public is pissed off.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 09:07 | 208919 35Pete
35Pete's picture

Sure. It's even better than South Park.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:34 | 208490 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

sorry for the long post with some minor redactions for purposes of clarity

excerpts from the speech

We face big and difficult challenges. And what the American people hope – what they deserve – is for all of us, Democrats and Republicans, to work through our differences; to overcome the numbing weight of our politics. For while the people who sent us here have different backgrounds and different stories and different beliefs, the anxieties they face are the same. The aspirations they hold are shared. A job that pays the bill. A chance to get ahead. Most of all, the ability to give their children a better life.

You know what else they share? They share a stubborn resilience in the face of adversity. After one of the most difficult years in our history, they remain busy building cars and teaching kids; starting businesses and going back to school. They are coaching little league and helping their neighbors. As one woman wrote to me, “We are strained but hopeful, struggling but encouraged.”

It is because of this spirit – this great decency and great strength – that I, Barack H. Obama have never been more hopeful about America’s future than I, Barack H. Obama am tonight. Despite our hardships, our union is strong. We do not give up. We do not quit. We don’t allow fear or division to break our spirit. In this new decade, it’s time the American people get a government that matches their decency; that embodies their strength. And tonight, I’d like to talk about how together, we can deliver on that promise.

By the time I, Barack H. Obama am finished speaking tonight, more Americans will have lost their health insurance. Millions will lose it this year. Our deficit will grow. Premiums will go up. Co-pays will go up. Patients will be denied the care they need. Small business owners will continue to drop coverage altogether. I, Barack H. Obama will not walk away from these Americans. And neither should the people in this chamber.

Rather than fight the same tired battles that have dominated Washington for decades, it’s time for something new. Let’s try common sense. Let’s invest in our people without leaving them a mountain of debt. Let’s meet our responsibility to the people who sent us here.

To do that, we have to recognize that we face more than a deficit of dollars right now. We face a deficit of trust – deep and corrosive doubts about how Washington works that have been growing for years. To close that credibility gap we must take action on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue to end the outsized influence of lobbyists; to do our work openly; and to give our people the government they deserve.

That’s what I, Barack H. Obama came to Washington to do. That’s why – for the first time in history – my Administration posts our White House visitors online. And that’s why we’ve excluded lobbyists from policy-making jobs or seats on federal boards and commissions.

But we cannot stop there. It’s time to require lobbyists to disclose each contact they make on behalf of a client with my Administration or Congress. And it’s time to put strict limits on the contributions that lobbyists give to candidates for federal office. Last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law to open the floodgates for special interests – including foreign companies – to spend without limit in our elections. Well I, Barack H. Obama don’t think American elections should be bankrolled by America’s most powerful interests, and worse, by foreign entities. They should be decided by the American people, and that’s why I, Barack H. Obama am urging Democrats and Republicans to pass a bill that helps to right this wrong.

I, Barack H. Obama am also calling on Congress to continue down the path of earmark reform. You have trimmed some of this spending and embraced some meaningful change. But restoring the public trust demands more. For example, some members of Congress post some earmark requests online. Tonight, I, Barack H. Obama am calling on Congress to publish all earmark requests on a single website before there’s a vote so that the American people can see how their money is being spent.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:04 | 208754 Bob
Bob's picture

Perhaps it speaks loudly and clearly enough in and of itself, but I gotta say it anyway, anon:  Your brilliant insertions of the inital "H" (uh, geez, that would be Hussein?) were pure genius.  God, where do intellects of your caliber come from??  /sarcasm. 

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:35 | 208784 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Exactly. No one has ever referred to the middle initial of a President.......nor should they........because why??

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Seems some don't like BO either. Can't win. Lots of very thin skin in America.

Are you saying he is ashamed of his middle name? I thought he embraced it which means we all should.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 09:44 | 208938 Bob
Bob's picture

Oh, you really nail it here.  Some people would think that "W" was invoked to distinguish him from his near-predecessor by the same name if you left out the W.

AKA his Daddy. 

Not to mention that W was actually known as Dubya in his family.

It plays as patently racist ill will to cite it in the case of Barry (as Obama was known in his lilly-white family and community.)  It speaks for itself when people like you throw it out as if it were especially meaningful. 

About as cheap as you can get. 

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:08 | 208969 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

So no one should use his middle name or initial. Just need to understand the rules.

Americans are very thin skinned.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 13:19 | 209345 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Michelle is racist...add that to your dirty laundry that you'd like to be cleaned there, mr b.o.b

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:35 | 208491 Thorny Xi
Thorny Xi's picture

Marla, there are not many women who I'd marry without asking their last name but you are one of them.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:53 | 208494 35Pete
35Pete's picture

Amen to that. 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:44 | 208538 Dr Horace Manure
Dr Horace Manure's picture

Ditto.  At my age I have very few ambitions left in life, but one of them is to some day meet Marla Singer.

Maybe in a few years all of us Greatest Depression survivors can have a conference with Marla as our keynote speaker.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:09 | 208652 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

you must be the oldest person on the internet..98?

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 01:40 | 208836 madRazor
madRazor's picture

Dude, what makes you so sure Marla is a female?

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 11:01 | 209027 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

What makes you so sure I'm male?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:53 | 208492 35Pete
35Pete's picture

Marla's my favorite blogger on ZH for a reason. LMAO. She's funny as hell yet gets the point across everytime. Let's face it. Some of this shit is dry. She makes it entertaining. Kind like laughing while wanting to put my fist through the wall from the pent-up frustration. 

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:53 | 208500 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

1)I,I,I,I,......I,I,I....
2)Old Administration's mess, Old...
3) I,I,I........
4) Depression, Depression,....
5) I,I,I,I,...........

Yes Mr. President, we all agree, you are a fu@king idiot.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 20:54 | 208503 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Inherited.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:08 | 208510 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Did they pass out a barf bag with those talking points?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:12 | 208514 Kissy Ass
Kissy Ass's picture

Marla, Marla, Marla, Marla. Ohme, I missed you Marla.

I always thought the White House was constructed in such a fashion to out last the ravages of time.

But with our current leader the White House is starting to look like the Haitian Presidential Palace.

The collapsed cupola....

The ghetto that surrounds DC is enveloping 1600 penn. ave. it's morals, principles, and ethics.

Lie, breed, hustle. It's a Chi-town gansta's life.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:49 | 208612 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

"We love ya CC"

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:33 | 208525 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Where are the rating stars?  After playing the Obama SOTU drinking game (a shot every time O uses the word "I") for about 5 minutes, the comments here are going to be classic and should be rewarded.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:54 | 208544 35Pete
35Pete's picture

I don't agree with using the word "I". I'm 43, the liver's already pretty well pickled, and I don't feel like having my stomach pumped tonight. 

Can we use another term please? How about "recovery", "reform", or "jobs"? 

Ahh crap, those will finish me off too. 

How about a drink every time he uses the phrase "spending cuts" or "prosecution"? 

We'll all go to bed stone, cold, sober.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:56 | 208547 suteibu
suteibu's picture

What about, "Let me be perfectly clear"?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:03 | 208559 Transor Z
Transor Z's picture

Make no mistake...

 

And, you must do 5 quick shots with the invariable:

"The State of the Union is strong!"

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:54 | 208625 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Don't forget the:

 

We can all agree that....

and

No one would dispute that ....

 

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:18 | 208664 35Pete
35Pete's picture

I'm dying here you guys. Sudden Alcoholic Hepatitis. Thanks. 

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:20 | 208766 Wilderman
Wilderman's picture

Playing on "Look..." I only finished two beers

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:42 | 208535 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Marla, great stuff but as previously noted, you have to double down on the I's.

If only the teleprompter were to go down tonight, we could see the third candidate behind Conan and Leno for the late night show.

Written out of tonight's speech was this line, favored by the Chicago elites, "A magnum in the hand, is worth two in the Bush."

Unfortunately I won't be able to watch the SOTU this evening, as I have to take out the garbage, mail the shredded membership offer back to AARP, put air in the tires (of my bike), and comb my hair.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:54 | 208543 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Guys...Marla is a dude--an avatar designed to connect with sexually deprived traders. She/he is funny but asking to marry her is like watching "THE CRYING GAME."

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 21:56 | 208548 Marla Singer
Marla Singer's picture

My state of the art VoiceGenderChanger is constantly hooked up to the Zero Hedge hotline when I answer- along with the mic used for Radio ZH.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:15 | 208567 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Marla,
I love your commentary, but I think your packing...and it ain't a Ruger GP100.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:46 | 208604 Marla Singer
Marla Singer's picture

No, it is an H&K p7m8. And yes, occasionally we get a nimrod or two who, despite the fact that I often answer the Zero Hedge hotline and yammer on aimlessly on the sporadic Radio ZH program as well as the One Hundred Trillion Dollar Pyramid, somehow manage to miss the fact that I'm a girl. Whatever floats your boat there, Anonymous.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:28 | 208702 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

That's why the stock market is so easy to manipulate. People who are interested in it don't have very good powers of observation.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 01:05 | 208811 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I got one for my mom (HKp7m8), It's a girl gun (but still badass).

That's how I think of Marla "A girl, but sill badass" (And hot too if she REALLY looks like Helena Bonham Carter!)

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 09:16 | 208925 35Pete
35Pete's picture

There's nothing sexier than a hyperintelligent, gun packing woman that's confident enough to call herself a "girl".

Marla. I always figured you as packing a .45 ACP.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:01 | 208637 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

Keep your homoerotic fantasies in congress please.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:48 | 208738 Tethys
Tethys's picture

Negative Mr. Anon - Marla has teh sekse voice, have heard it on Radio ZH.  Would curl up at her feet for a nap any day.

+1 for the GP100, though: stainless revolvers are apocalypse/SHTF-compliant. Jam-free corrosion resistance ftw.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:35 | 208586 Kissy Ass
Kissy Ass's picture

Marla is a dude? Oh me Oh my! I'm putting away my lotion now.

But her stories are the best. They give me hope.

Like a high speed train project. The hope for mag-lev change so we can get from Tampa to Disney and save 30 minutes of total transportation time. YEA!! [arousing applause from the space monkeys]

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:37 | 208587 phaesed
phaesed's picture

Eh? Who cares? Marla is Marla, respect her wit, gender doesn't matter cuz you're most likely gettin none anyways.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:02 | 208554 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Watch him, and miss, "The Ace of Cakes"????

Riiight.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:11 | 208562 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Marla a Wiccan naw say it aint so

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:13 | 208564 ChickenTeriyakiBoy
ChickenTeriyakiBoy's picture

yes! she broke out the lavender !!!!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:14 | 208566 suteibu
suteibu's picture

SEIU colors.   Yay.....

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:17 | 208569 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I hear about them in the letters I read.  He does have super powers.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:21 | 208571 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Is it just me or does he sound absolutely empty of truth. The words ring hollow. He is sounding like a fake.

This man is no Lincoln be is GWB lite---if that was even possible.

Full Disclosure: I voted for him.

FUCK he is lying about the BANK BAILOUT!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:21 | 208572 phaesed
phaesed's picture

YO! Anyone just see Timmy??? Man, he looks like he went home and cried for 3 hours, LOL.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:23 | 208574 fuu
fuu's picture

Anyone getting a lie per minute count or anything?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:23 | 208577 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I couldn't keep count and drink at the same time....sorry.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:39 | 208590 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

I can't drink fast enough.  Time to set down the Maker's Mark and grab the bottle of Booker's.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:23 | 208575 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

How many emotional strings is this guy willing to pull

He should be playing a Harp up there

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:26 | 208579 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Looks like he's only playing well to half the house.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:30 | 208985 Master Bates
Master Bates's picture

Did anybody notice that the Republicans didn't clap and looked pissed off when he said "eliminate tax breaks for people offshoring our jobs?"

Or that the Republicans didn't clap and looked pissed off when he talked about "sealing our borders?"

Maybe it's because they have interests in offshoring our jobs and bringing in illegals?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:28 | 208580 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Wait for it......"GREEN" jobs

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:29 | 208582 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I couldn't listen to any more. I tried, I really did. Made it about 10 minutes. thats my record with this prez.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:30 | 208584 BoeingSpaceliner797
BoeingSpaceliner797's picture

standing up to special interests [like taxpayers]

LMAO!  You've set the bar high for 2010. 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:38 | 208588 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Populist Rhetoric from a teleprompter president...

QE 2, Buy, Buy, Buy...

 

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:31 | 208988 Master Bates
Master Bates's picture

What do you call a president that sounded retarded even with a teleprompter?

"Uhhh... ummm... you can't get fooled again."

Illiterate?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:38 | 208589 suteibu
suteibu's picture

There ya go.  Climate bill.  How does that square with a spending freeze?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:41 | 208593 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

How does the spending freeze square with the (cough, cough) tax cuts?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:43 | 208597 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I wonder if anyone is calculating the cost of this speech by minutes?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:51 | 208615 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

I thought that the Stimulus Act included funding for 10,000 unemployed accountants to keep a running ledger, no?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:39 | 208591 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

He still thinks there's overwhelming evidence for global warming ???

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 01:02 | 208808 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Didn't you see the drinking game where you drink every time he tells a lie? (I almost spit my beer out at that one!)

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:41 | 208592 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Meanwhile, he puts a duty on Chinese electric blankets.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:42 | 208594 ChickenTeriyakiBoy
ChickenTeriyakiBoy's picture

MORE MONEY FOR AG EXPORTS.......WOOOOOHOOOOOOO....FUCK YOU AFRICA

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:42 | 208595 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

He wants to export to us !

No Mr President we want to export to you.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:43 | 208598 Kissy Ass
Kissy Ass's picture

Mr. Obama is doing well tonight. Here is the latest picture of him for those not watching.

http://i50.tinypic.com/20uwro5.jpg

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:43 | 208599 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

Honestly though, the $30B earmark from TARP for small business loans was a masterstroke.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:43 | 208600 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Here's how they probably plan to double exports: destroy the U.S. dollar

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:27 | 208775 Wilderman
Wilderman's picture

My first thought was what does this equate to on DXY?  Granted we're not asking for much to double current exports, but how the hell do you even increase exports without a weaker dollar?  More subsidy?  Open source all our intelligence technology? (oh, wait, the chinese already did that...)

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:45 | 208603 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

Oh, Christ!  $10K for a college education, and then only pay back 10% of your student loans, did I hear that right!?

(Hey, can we make that retroactive?)

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:49 | 208610 phaesed
phaesed's picture

Ya know???

 

Speaking of which..... Anyone notice how Mrs. Obama isn't exactly smiling during this?

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:52 | 208801 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

And extra benefit if you go into "public service." So let's encourage growth in government workers......

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:35 | 208993 Master Bates
Master Bates's picture

Shit, I wish it was 10k.  I go to a state school, am in my junior year, and have easily paid out 30k already.

It's you only have to pay 10% of your disposable income toward your loan when in repayment, forgiven after 20 years if you're most people, forgiven in 10 years if you're government sector.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:47 | 208605 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

 This is turning out to quite a shopping list. I wonder where Bernanke is going to get the money...

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:48 | 208609 ChickenTeriyakiBoy
ChickenTeriyakiBoy's picture

come, let me show you my money tree

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:50 | 208614 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Here's a couple trillion dollars Congress.  Keep the change.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:48 | 208607 Kissy Ass
Kissy Ass's picture

Turtle on a fence post!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:49 | 208611 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

So buy nuclear stocks and energy service stocks. Sell the banks.

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:50 | 208613 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Screw Federal Health care.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:51 | 208616 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Obama care = early retirement for docs (like me). To many patients with too little reimbursement and no tort reform.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:52 | 208618 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Maybe I could interest you in some cash business on the sly.  Shhh.....

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:51 | 208617 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I wonder if George Quay is in attendance

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:53 | 208621 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Some one tell this guy that this is not the mid 60s and LBJ was a terrible president.

This war on poverty thing is great but you cannot give trillions to banks and at the same time go for big fiscal spending even if you keep a reserve currency of sorts.

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:53 | 208623 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Obama was dealt a bad hand and made it into a disaster. Cut taxes for individuals and businesses and cut cap gains taxes. Be Reagan not Carter.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:00 | 208746 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+1 Dr. Platinum

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:54 | 208624 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Fuzzy math... Budget surpluses in 2000 with cash accounting.

When will that lie die.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:54 | 208626 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Brilliant, Marla. Fucking brilliant. :)

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:55 | 208628 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Now he's saying stuff that's just delusional. Line by line veto, hah! Oil companies and hedgies and 250K going to have higher taxes! Market is toast tomorrow.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:00 | 208635 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

Don't you trust Obama with a scalpel?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:57 | 208629 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

So...  He's saying that he's going to cut taxes for 95% of Americans, small business owners, AND for large businesses that normally export jobs overseas.  Yet, he's admonishing the fiscal irresponsibility of the past decade, and explicitly hammering on the two Bush tax cuts and reckless government spending...  Gotta love politicians.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:57 | 208630 phaesed
phaesed's picture

WTF????? Executive order for the deficit reduction committee after it just got blocked????

The reduction committee was "given" powers that could not be regulated!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:57 | 208631 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Did Obama skip the class on economics? Too many classes on community organizing.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:30 | 208779 35Pete
35Pete's picture

That was one of his early morning classes which he always overslept for. 

Unfortunately Into To the US Constitution was the class proceeding it. 

Thank God for him though that Advanced Manipulative Mass Psychology was a night class. 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:58 | 208632 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Joker's doin' a friggin' stand-up routine...the man simply is not serious, not in his ideas or as a leader

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:33 | 208708 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

i agree...the facade's beginning to crack
keep up the pressure kiddees

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 22:59 | 208633 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

How long does it take to become a citizen of Canada?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:38 | 208719 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

I had a couple friends get in big trouble trying to accidently smuggle dirt into canada. (Gardening bags of topsoil). So if you try it take a shower before you go. They don't like american soil. They kind of hassled the frenchies that were there and it flared up a big hassle because people were being unduly mean and disrespectful of each other. So don't be mean about french. It's kind of a sore spot.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:32 | 208781 35Pete
35Pete's picture

Which UN supranational regulatory body overseas the transportation of earthly organic matter across international borders? 

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 04:14 | 208890 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

The department of whoever gives me more kickbacks gets to be right. Now you KNOW why god really wants that judge position it's FAT MONEY!!

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:00 | 208636 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

He's slamming the supreme court right to their faces. Shit, he is Hugo Chavez.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:17 | 208667 Baron Robber
Baron Robber's picture

can't stand him but they deserved to be slammed for that

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:33 | 208782 35Pete
35Pete's picture

+10000

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:37 | 208713 Transor Z
Transor Z's picture

It was a shit decision. The decision could have rested on much narrower grounds and didn't require overturning 100 years of precedent. Judicial activist as hell.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:49 | 208797 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

So never should overturn prior decisions?? All preceding decisions were rightly decided? Wow. Blacks are in trouble then.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 00:54 | 208802 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech. Don't blame the supreme court, blame Patrick Henry.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:13 | 208973 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

do you think they meant for individuals or corporate zombies with no head?

i mean why have 'freedom of the press' if you just said there was unlimited free speech a mear phrase before? think about it...

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 10:25 | 208982 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

So corporations can have taxation without representation and without free speech. That seems like bad logic / law.

Compromise. No free speech for corporations in exchange for no taxes on corporations.

Corporate taxes are just another way for a power-hungry government to confiscate more money in a way that is obfuscated to voters. Government is afraid to tax voters directly, so they tax evil corporations who collect the taxes from voters (albeit just select voters - called shareholders and corporate customers). But most Americans are dimwitted enough to not really understand they are really paying the tax -- the corporation is just the intermediary.

So let's eliminate corporate taxes -- which will meaningfully reduce corporate lobbying, will make clearer to voters how much government is costing them and, bonus, we'll take away corporate free speech rights.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:01 | 208638 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Throwing the gauntlet down to the SC.  Nice building you got there...be ashamed if anything happened to it.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:01 | 208639 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

A friend email'ed me this yesterday evening. You'll have to take my word for it...

The following scrap of paper was found in the White House trash bin.

Notes for speech writer idiot.

1) call me Lord Vader, Emperor of the Universe.
2) Direct NASA to build Death Star.
3) Fat Limbaugh joke
4) Sell Southern states to pay reparations for slavery.
5) finance Air America to create jobs
6) Crazy Glenn Beck joke
7) Declare war on talk radio
8) Hire Alvin and Chipmucks to do Voice of America (they're so damn cute)
9) Blame Bush!!!
[Note to self: fresh nicotine patch]
10) Open trade with Cuba; trade surplus missles for cigars.
11) Sell off shore oil drilling rights to Venezuela.
12) Massachewus joke.
13) Send Hillary to some hell hole (something she can't pronounce and give her another lousy translator)
14) more tax cuts for poor people and stuff like that
15) I should probably say something about peace in the middle east.
16) green eco stuff. save the glaciers or adopt homeless whales - whatever
17) big finish, unite the world, make America great again, I want those damn republicans standing and clapping when I walk out.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:01 | 208640 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Guy is taking the country down the drain and fukkin our kids and he seems to think it is hilarious...

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:01 | 208641 ChickenTeriyakiBoy
ChickenTeriyakiBoy's picture

alito take it easy with the head nods and shakes. it's......unbecoming

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:04 | 208642 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

How many DJIA points do we lose tomorrow? I give it -100+

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:06 | 208646 ChickenTeriyakiBoy
ChickenTeriyakiBoy's picture

no way dude. bernanke's getting confirmed, like it or not

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:04 | 208643 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

It is Bush's fault...it is the Supreme Court's fault...it is the Congress's fault...it is the bankers' fault...it is .....

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:05 | 208644 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Apparently he never read, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:06 | 208645 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

Just slammed the Republican Senators....why doesn't he just declare himself King and dissolve Congress and the Supreme Court.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:06 | 208647 suteibu
suteibu's picture

DOW futures up 40.  Anyone care to explain?

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:09 | 208653 Unscarred
Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:11 | 208658 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Gotcha.  Up 50 now

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:11 | 208656 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

started around 28ish

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:19 | 208675 Tell me lies
Tell me lies's picture

The upside down thinking of the markets. The media will spin this into positive news for the market.(CNBC) Should be in the shitter but will not, shit maybe a +100 point day, I do see the dollar is reacting lower though.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:38 | 208718 The Deacon
The Deacon's picture

WHat do the Futures matter, and T A for that matter?  Do you think these markets are 'FREE'?

Basically prices and interest rates will be set where the gov thinks they should be.  The markets make the news, not the other way around.

 

"Markets up 100 - well, Dick, it appears investors LOVE the idea of Geithner and Bernanke staying on board, and all BO will do to re-establish America to its formal glory."

 

 

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:08 | 208651 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I think I've heard this speech before. Was it Brezhnev or Andropov?

P.S. Marla how am I supposed to tell my mom that I am in love with a man? I am a 6'4" Russian boy who believes in God. Have you no heart?

CCCP

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:10 | 208654 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

That's cool he's ending the wars in the Middle East. Hope that works out okay. What's could go wrong? Iranian nukes, resurgent Al-Queda....stuff like that.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:14 | 208661 phaesed
phaesed's picture

Oh bleah.... sure Iran has problems, but I'd say the biggest is that we have two large armed forces on both sides of their borders. Remove us and you remove a reason for them to continue to build.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 07:09 | 208899 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Are you kidding? They are building nukes no matter what and they won't be squeamish about using them. They've been at war with America since 1979, whether we want to believe it or not.

Thu, 01/28/2010 - 12:09 | 209173 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Yeah, they can't be responsible with nukes like us westerners.  I mean, they might actually USE them.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:10 | 208655 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

What, do they have Joe Wilson gagged tonight?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:12 | 208659 Unscarred
Unscarred's picture

Nice.  Use Kennedy AND Reagan in the same sentence.  Very impressive.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:14 | 208662 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

He just wants to do everything for everyone at the same times--except he's anti-business, anti-tax cuts, and pro-depression. Bummer.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:17 | 208666 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Never saw a gubmint solution he didn't like... sophomoric boob

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:16 | 208663 Instant Karma
Instant Karma's picture

He's getting into civil rights stuff....I'm fading. 20% unemployment by the end of his term. The economy is toast.

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:17 | 208670 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Canada, eh?

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:20 | 208678 Baron Robber
Baron Robber's picture

repubs will win in October and fuck it up just as bad. they'll cut taxes and increase spending like they did under that total fuck up Bush

Wed, 01/27/2010 - 23:20 | 208679 Baron Robber
Baron Robber's picture

repubs will win in October and fuck it up just as bad. they'll cut taxes and increase spending like they did under that total fuck up Bush

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!