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Live-Like State of the Union Updates Pre/Post Game and During the State of the Union General Motors Halftime Show
Granted, we are working from a rather small sample size, as we don't often pay attention to State of the Union speeches, but if the pre-game hints of the potential blusterfuck post-game are any indication, the latest American Apology Tour is composed entirely of domestic flights, and filled with alliteration. Like, for example, the gist of the pre-game talking points purportedly passed out by the White House yesterday (complete with patented Zero Hedge EasyStand annotations and unredacted staff notes):
Allow us to translate for you, as between the "law of threes" and the repeatedly awful attempts at clever word games, you are as likely to vomit up your lunch as to have your faith in the administration (or anything else) restored.
Topline Points: Pre-State of the Union
**Not for Distribution**
Rescue [from the second great depression], Rebuild [the economy- great job on this by the way] and Restore [America's world leadership in the category of kowtows per hundred foreign dignitary hours]. (Hereinafter "R.R.R.")
No president in our lifetime has ever faced the challenges Obama has. ("...unparalleled in our lifetime.") [I mean give the guy a break, it's his first year on the job].
$1.3 trillion deficit blah blah blah economy, two wars blah blah blah health care costs blah blah blah bush sucked blah blah can I borrow a dollar please please please blah blah blah.
Faced with daunting challenges [Plouffe, can we get Jack Nicholson in a Marine uniform to chime in "Is there any other kind?" for the cameras after the speech?] Obama took strong and politically-difficult [You were right Rahm, "politically=suicidal" didn't exactly convey a positive message here] steps to R.R.R. blah blah blah.
Within one month of his inaugural, President Obama had shepherded [no, really, they used this word] the most far-reaching [and most limited grasping] [Five Year] economic plan in American history. One year later we are beginning to see signs of [something... Rahm? Line please?]
The President saved or created (approximately) -1 second great depressions. [Phew! That was close, eh?]
The third derivative of jobs is 10% of its previous level one year ago and if you double count the hunk of GDP from last year that went to taxes by counting it again when we spend it this year as stimulus, you can sometimes squint and see some unusual growths on the economy's pancreas.
The President has been laying a New DealFoundation for [non]working families, [formerly listed large-cap but now] small business owners and economic competitiveness [compared to Venezuela].
Changing the way business is done in Washington [yeah, that's true, actually] standing up to special interests [like taxpayers] and making government [inspectors general] more accountable etc. etc.
Blah blah blah Iraqhanistan-wait-what's-that-behind-you-I-could-swear-I-saw-something-now-it's-gone-where-were-we-again and strengthening ties with the people who ordinarily control the section of [the Islamic Republic of] Pakistan defined by the better neighborhoods in Islamabad and 50m on either side of the M-2 motorway.
We are closer than ever [except maybe 1994, 1962, 1958, 1955, 1947, 1931 and 1917] on real health reform.
President Obama has also signed historic legislation. [Again, can we get a Jack with "Is there any other kind?"]
For the first time evv-ah every visitor to the White House is being put on a list, resulting in an important subsidy to manufacturers of SCIP/STE secure phones which are now used to conduct all secret meetings. The reduced travel also creates a smaller carbon footprint, making this White House visitors program the greenest in the history of North American plate tectonics.
We've also eliminated the influence of [non-approved] lobbyists.
After one momentous year [we sure this is how we want to put this?] in office, President Obama has governed as he said he would, making tough decisions instead of deferring them, thinking about the long-term well-being of the country['s unions] and not just his own, oneshort-term politics.
Make sure to refresh this page during the address if you experience dizziness, nausea or incontinence.
8:01: No, Barry, there is no "on time." There is only early or late.
8:02: Joe Biden looks like an ad for Crest Whitening Strips. Biden and Pelosi in the same shot is all the argument against HDTV that ever need be presented.
8:04: We are rooting for Pelosi to hit Biden's hand with the gavel.
8:06-8:08: That's a lot of clapping for a non-campaign event.
8:09: Make it look good Pelosi. Party unity. Make it look good. I mean it. That's right. Strong smile.
8:12: The Teleprompter bounce (left... right... left... right...) in full effect.
8:13: One year ago I took office with two wars... a disastrous economy and...
Does this self-congratulation ever get old? Apparently not. It is starting to feel like an old Yorkshiremen sketch.
Depending on what your definition of "strong" is, our Union is strong.
8:17: Looks like we are in for the "double down" strategy instead of a move to the center. Can't say that's surprising.
8:18: We all hated the bank bailout. About as popular as a root canal. (Thanks, I'll be here all week).
8:19: Unemployment might be double what it is today. (Yes, he actually said this).
War declared on big banks. Congress cheers. That will about do it for our coverage.
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Okay... one huge thing.... homosexuals deserve the right to serve in the military.... thank god he's repealing the "don't ask, don't tell"
I'm not gay, but for real, after 4 years in service, I realize there's a *large* gay community in our service and god bless them for their dedication to a community that has ostracized them.
Totally agree with you, but how is what he said tonight any different than what was said during the campaign?
The President (and his party) are WAY too pleased with themselves... based on...??? Too many smiles, too few results.
This SOTU speech contradicts itself every other paragraph... it's a campaign speech, which is understandable I guess. Without actual accomplishments, every speech is a campaign speech.
This is anything BUT the State of the Union.
Now he is blaming the punditocracy...
American values are contained in the Declaration of Independence and the Consitution. The Federal Government is supposed to take a back seat in most things to the States. Obama is the embodiment of the Tyranical Federal Government.
both parties are the embodiment of the Tyranical Federal Government
Eh? And the patriotic act wasn't worse than anything that's passed so far?
Dude for real, your Karma has to be for shit. I've called this president this worst thing you can call a black man and what you're saying here tonight is for the most part straight up ignorant.
no,he's George W. reincarnated. look around dude, the republicans are total fuckups too.
"the republicans are total fuckups too"
Oh absolutely.... I just don't agree that he's completely tyrannical and a lot of the comments portrayed tonight. I also don't agree with a lot of the speech.
At least he hasn't posed nude in cosmo yet.
agreed, and no offense taken (my daughter uses that line, no offense but, ....bust your ass). I'm sure we agree on more than we disagree on. cheers.
must admit, needed an imperial stout to even watch
The worst part of this entire year is that a lot of people who disagree on a few tiny details are ending up disagreeing vehemently on those few.
I needed 4 screwdrivers (and half a fifth :P)
Even I have fought against a lot of ZH's commentary even as I admire them to no end. We're in interesting times, hopefully this isn't the end of them.
agreed once again.
He says we aren't willing to do what is hard.
In other words, to blindly support The Anointed One.
was that Joe Biden sitting on the dais or a bobblehead imitation Joe Biden?
Geez, I gotta take a shower after this rain of BS.
Rain? Rain?
It's not raining. He's pissing down your back.
"How's the pale ale, Stiffler?"
Not to worry. It's called " trickle down ".
Turtle on a fence post.
http://i50.tinypic.com/20uwro5.jpg
Look! Is he going to fall off? Hummm, that's fun to watch. Hmmm, very interesting. Hey, he's never going to get anywhere... No traction, but fun to watch.
He says we just go through an awful decade - the Bush decade - and so let's strengthen this Union once more. In other words, let's bend over and let Doctor Obama inject the medicine... - less freedom, less take home pay, less liberty, less personal responsibility, less opportunity, less thinking for yourself, and ONE HELL OF A LOT MORE FREAKING BIG BROTHER
what a fucking clown, I was embarrased for america, with bush, now I'm just ashamed, that I voted for this empty suit. Marla, I know you're all woman. smart is sexy.
+1
The only thing I supported in this speech was killing don't ask don't tell.
On a personal basis, I like the Obama. It was a friendly speech. He's just not a Reagonite so he doesn't have a clue how to grow the economy.
+1
Instant Karma - tell me you meant Reagan grew the debt of the economy
Ohhhhh.... he so did.
I think y'all are aware of how I think of Volcker's economics and Reagan's "growth" politics.
+1
This Republican Governor from VA--he gets it. Hitting all the right nails on the right head. Say it brother! Limited government! Bravo! Excessive growth of government threatens liberty and prosperity. Say it brother!
Dork, Reagan did grow the debt because in spite of doubling revenues into the Treasury the Democratic Congress would not cut spending!
errr, the majority of the debt growth from Reagan went straight to the Fed's books.
Also under Reagan we had the biggest lie in inflationist history take place... the change in CPI reporting. But then that's how Volcker "broke the back of inflation"....
That should be renamed "broke the back of honest reporting"
I remember a Doonesbury strip from the early 80s wondering whether feeding in to the ballooning deficit was a backdoor strategy to put pressure on entitlements...
Blah, blah, blah.. "It's his fault!, no.. It's her fault!"
Happened on Reagan's watch. No one put a gun to his head and said "sign this appropriations bill".
My philosophy professor once related ... John Locke, the materialist, argued that we only know or experience a material world, then came along Bishop Berkeley, the idealist, who argued that we only know the world through our mind, so all we really experience is mind, who was followed by the sceptic David Hume who argued that we cant be sure of either or, in other words, NO MATTER, NEVER MIND. Somehow,
this state of the union triggered this.
Happy Days Are Here Again. Que the music. Shit, somebody forgot to que the music.
ATNA = all talk, no action
Reagan gave even more power to the fiat money creators whose reason for existence is the production of debt rather then real production
He was a caricature of a republican - he was in fact a creature of the moneylenders
John Locke... only matter exists. Bishop Berkeley, we know matter throught mind, only mind exists. David Hume, sceptic ... we dont know shit, NO MATTER, NEVER MIND. Speaking of Obama´s address ....
+1 The most cogent thing I've heard (or read) tonight.
Glad I found this website. Some smart people here. Loved oboomas speech tonight. He lived up to his abilities of not telling the truth in anything he says. He's a marvel.
I'm no fan of Obama's politics, or his party, but you have to admit he is a very good public speaker. One of the best in a very long time, imo. Its too bad he has no real world experience in... basically anything. If it were otherwise, it might be worth listening to what he has to say.
Whatever. You're only saying that because he had 8 years of 6th grade level oratory preceding him.
He's no Jack Kennedy.
I am Chumbawamba.
the future went up is because the Bankers had sigh of relief. They won! The president didn't mention "Volcker Rule". He dropped the plan. Tim sit in the front row. Tim, Summers, Ben are still in firm grab of power!
Bankers don't afraid tax them. They really hate Volcker's plan.
Beautiful, Marla.
Too bad the actual address was so agonizingly on script with your predictions. But delivered with all the passion of a jacuzzi salesman? Didn't see that coming. It's all just words and sounds to him. Oh yeah, and elegantly understated hand gestures.
Too bad it just ain't funny anymore.
Let me be clear -- after the last eight years of unbearable hellishness, and despite the unholy efforts of the business-as-usual special interests and obstructionist Republicans -- my new green plate tectonics are unprecedented; and will shepherd, create, or save more than 60 million green plate tectonic jobs (Is there any other kind?) and reduce the deficit by 30,000 pesos, as well as reducing economic pancreatic growths, and lowering sea levels by 20,000 leagues, according to a transparent new report commissioned by Vice President Beavis and my Green Plate Tectonics Czar, using stimulus money, thus creating 3 dozen more jobs.
Great opportunity to go short. Top tick.... where are you?
couldn't watch it, Marla thanks for an update.
A+
I am waiting for the half time show when Fat Larry Summers and Christina "Shemp" Romer lip sync a Janet Jackson song and Fat Larry's boob pops out...
I didn't mean Robert "What Me Worry About Insider Trading At Citi" Rubin either...
ZH readership cortisol levels?
'They' had to pump up the market so tomorrow 'they' can report how Wall Street was grateful and happy to hear such happy words from the Pres. Check it out ... there were only about 10 one minute periods where trading volume was substantial. These three sigma volume points were all plus ... tonight's market was manipulated.
There was absolutely nothing in what the Pres said that would be good news to Wall Street ... so why did the market go up? Our who in their right mind would believe that he was actually telling any truth.
Methinks that something is amiss ...
Oh, amiss is the new normal
great entertainment. laughed all the way thru it.
State of the union is a circle jerk, plain and simple. I almost thought they were going to break into chants of "USA USA USA" at one point.
They clap for 10 minutes as the guy walks in the door, then when he takes his spot behind the podium they clap for a few minutes more. Why all the clapping? What are we clapping for? Biden picks some guff out of his teeth and thunderous applause erupts.Once upon a time these were regular people, do they not see it as completely ridiculous and over the top?
As for Obama, shut your gob and stop talking about what you're going to do. Let's talk about what you've DONE. Maybe after you demonstrate that you actually have some capability at doing something, I'll believe you when you tell me all the 'wonderful' things you're going to do. Until then it's just more hot air (and a chance for everyone to clap some more).
Shorter Obama - stay the coarse, only faster.
The release notes made me want to wretch.
I'm glad I didn't watch it...I might have thrown something at the TV.
Dem's..."You cant hurt me, I'm already dead" as summarized by the Daily Show. The opossum Party 2012 will thrive
Would someone please explain to me how the hell SKF gapped down this morning on news of a bank tax???????????????