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Mark Zandi Says Jamie Dimon Would Be "Fabulous" Replacement To Geithner, Unclear On Madoff Succession Chances

Tyler Durden's picture


There may have been those who thought that our focused mockery of Moody's head something Mark Zandi went a little too far last summer when he and other prominent Princeton proctovoodoologist Alan Blinder praised Tim Geithner's abysmal "recovery" in a desperate attempt to get an administrative job away from their respective sinking ships. Well now he have pure comedy genius to add to allegations of incompetent buffoonery. On Friday, Zandi told Yahoo's Daily Ticker that of all proposed replacements to Tim Geithner (a list which he somehow was not part of despite years of sycophantry) JPMorgan head, currently embroiled in billion dollars worth of mortgage fraud litigation, would make a "Fabulous" Treasury Secretary. That's right: the head of the bank that effectively shares its balance sheet with the Fed courtesy of being the primary shadow banking system gatekeeper as one of two tri-party repo clearers, and whose relentless printing of new bonds would necessitate round after round of QE, would make a "fabulous" treasury secretary... While we are at it, why not just get Bernie Madoff, who continues to be in jail for doing what the global financial system does each and every day, furloughed and have him run the US Treasury every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday on alternative weeks when the bimonthly refunding occurs. After all who better to lead the US Treasury than him?

From Yahoo:

Zandi names several policymakers as potential recplacements, including Fed vice chair Janet Yellen, FDIC chief Sheila Bair and former deputy Treasury Secretary Roger Altman.

But the economist seems to favor JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, saying he'd be a "fabulous" Treasury Secretary. Dimon would be a controversial choice: while a Democrat, Dimon has been highly critical of Obama's push for greater regulation. Meanwhile, consumer advocates and left-leaning Democrats would certainly worry about his Wall Street background.

Complete tragicomedy:


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Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:44 | 1424158 malikai
malikai's picture

Wow. If it is Dimon, we all owe RoboTrader a drink for a that call.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:00 | 1424207 French Frog
French Frog's picture

Quite clearly now, TPTB in the US feel that they can get away with just about anything, no matter how outrageous it looks to seasonned ZH readers as the masses are oblivious to the bigger games being played around them (and before someone says ... yes you can replace US with Europe or ....)

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:30 | 1424290 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Oui, French Frog. Now that DSK is looking for a job, TPTB are thinking former IMF head DSK is an even better choice than Dimon for U.S. Sec of Treasury. International MuthaFucha DSK can take U.S. Treasury to a whole...'nother...level.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:40 | 1424332 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Presenting the first of 4,500 witnesses to testify at the Senate confirmation hearing on mister Dimon.  Meet US Marine Captain Jonathan Rowles:


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 17:57 | 1425160 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

Why Zandi on TV and not jail? He responsible for selling bad securities around world. Selling junk that he rated AAA. Now treated with respect? Who care what he think?

"The securitization markets collapsed when it became clear the rating agencies had been overly optimistic. When a security goes from AAA to junk within a few weeks, it does not inspire confidence in the rating process.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:02 | 1424218 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

If it is Dimon, I might just lose it and expatriate for good. 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:36 | 1424322 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Wait until he runs for president. BYO barfbag.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 13:01 | 1424552 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Dimon, The Geeth and Zandi....motherfuckers all.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 17:13 | 1425101 unununium
unununium's picture

I, for one, welcome our Pig Man overlords.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:45 | 1424342 malikai
malikai's picture

Ok, you got it. Sorry about that, didn't see your post, probably because you didn't get 1 billion junks like Robo.

Credit given where credit is due. That is your call.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:11 | 1424405 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

I'll buy RT a ruffieColada... Then introduce him to my new Troll Rollover Plan.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 21:18 | 1425436 The Malamute Kid
The Malamute Kid's picture

I,d take Bernie over that Dimon piece of dog crap any day!

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:45 | 1424159 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

This guy is a donkey dressed up like a horse.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:48 | 1424168 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

Zandi needs to wipe his mouth.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:47 | 1424350 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Zandi is an ass douche.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:03 | 1424225 Janice
Janice's picture

Mark Zandi is just pontificating in hopes of a lucrative government job.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:32 | 1424311 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

Well, I wish everyone would email, tweet or facebook a message to NPR's Diane Rehm Show, that this moron doesn't deserve a media voice.

She, Diane Rehm, laps up every word this this idiot and other special interest voices have to say and destroys here credibility in the process as being objective. Lets hear more moronic ideas from the likes of The Enterprise Institute, Moodies, Brookings, and all the other "I live in a different goldfish bowl from you" crowd. 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:49 | 1424358 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

NPR is for ninnies.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:50 | 1424508 centerline
centerline's picture

Who can even listen to that show anyhow?  I feel like I am going to stroke out just listening to her.  NPR in general dropped the ball over a year ago just like most other MSM outlets.  They claim to be independant but operate in part on public (gov) funding.  No surprise there.  Likewise, real reporting does take some effort (cash) and there isn't much of either anymore.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:46 | 1424345 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

The Wall Street whores dress different from the Times Square whores. And the Wall Street whores can afford the trip to Sweden for the Moody's Triple-Rated-AAA anatomical accommodations needed to service Wall Street's BigSwingingDs.  

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:45 | 1424160 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Wouldn't that be a demotion for him? 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:37 | 1424323 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Only if he actually steps down at JP when he gets the nod. ;)

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 14:30 | 1424798 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Don't you see?  It's JD's way off of his Titanic...he can walk away, get his taxes waived on the investments he must seel so as to be in a no conflict situation as Treasury Secretary.   He be absolved of responsibility for the destruction of Chase and all of the damage that it has done to the world, and he'll be rich beyond his wildest dreams, laughing all the way.  One thought, if the CEO of a TBTF bank had a zero tolerance policy for corrupt activities, do you think we'd be in this mess?  Dimon is a crook, a bigger one than Madoff and he even got his buddies in Washington to bail him out with our (taxpayer) money.  Poor Madoff, I wonder what he is thinking?  I wanna see Dimon swinging from a lampost! 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:29 | 1424456 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

More likely a way for him to pull a Hank Paulson (GS) backdoor liquidation of his JPM stock before the grand implosion.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:47 | 1424163 Winterland
Winterland's picture

If it were to happen SPU's rip. The market would love that choice, and guess what? Jaime gets the his capital gains tax waived when he would sell his shares of JPM, much like Paulson did when he left GS. I think it saved his close to $400mm.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:40 | 1424329 snowball777
snowball777's picture


Phase 1: Crash (think biggest pump'n'dump operation in history).

Phase 2: Sell off US gold reserves (to selves, natch).

Phase 3: Hyperinflation (go-go-gadget gold!).

Phase 4: NWO (Mr. Dimon wants you to use less spit when you polish his loafers, bitchez).


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:09 | 1424402 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I am sure he accomplished all of that as NYFed Director.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:47 | 1424164 The Axe
The Axe's picture

sacred honor      my ass...

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:49 | 1424169 White.Star.Line
White.Star.Line's picture

These positions are not demotions for the bankster clan.

Careers in the "thieves and traitors" segment now requires a brief stint in government service.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:54 | 1424186 Popo
Popo's picture

Actually,  these types of positions are *instant* bonuses of tens of millions of dollars because they involve non-taxation rules.

Paulson got a windfall of over $100 million by becoming SecTres.   Thanks for the "service" Hanky.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:03 | 1424224 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Exactly. The Banksters run the UST now.

Nothing is legit anymore. Brazen crimes happening right out in the open and accepted as "normal", welcomed and sanctioned by the regulators and law enforcement officials hired to stop this kind of criminal activity.

Bizarro world indeed.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:51 | 1424174 Popo
Popo's picture

It's one thing to have a black-ops,  New York Fed chairman who colluded with crime-bosses become Secretary of the Treasury.

It's another thing to have one of the actual crime-bosses himself become Secretary of the Treasury.

This is completely out of control.  

Historically speaking, there is only one thing that stops trends like this.  And it usually involves flames, blood and a lot of noise.

Given that Americans don't have the stomach for those things,   I for one would like to welcome our new evil financial overlord.  


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:04 | 1424227 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Very true Popo. All as per plan. Americans will arise, but only after much heat has been applied.

A frog, a vessel and hot water come to mind.


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 16:21 | 1425025 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Paulson was a crime-boss

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:50 | 1424176 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

Contrary to the laws of nature, and principles ground in truth, only in the banking world INCEST is considered a good thing.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:51 | 1424180 Cindy_Dies_In_T...
Cindy_Dies_In_The_End's picture

I dunno. Tend to agree with Zandi, I mean, why not do away with all the pretense and put a person in charge who has their hand wiggling up Geithener's ass anyway. Same difference.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:35 | 1424473 strannick
strannick's picture

Jimmy wiggle pinky, see Timmy wave

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 17:03 | 1425089 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

That is some funny shit.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:53 | 1424184 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Fabulous eh? It's clear enough that is one job the bank's will not get away from them.

My feeling is they will choose a person who will be sacrificed in the coming shit-storm of financial mayhem. 



Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:01 | 1424185 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Madoff, "Ponzi Master" and smooth talker of 20+ yrs, would be perfect for Sec Treasury in the current failing US economic system, and he comes cheap, bus him to a Northern VA prison, and put him on work release everyday, pay him $1.25 an hour, sure he'll be more than happy to help. It's not like DC's credibility would suffer.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:08 | 1424241 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I would rather see Madoff as FED chairman.

Linda Green's signature would look nice on the front of the FRNs, plus it's easy to sign.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:57 | 1424193 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

"Well now we have pure comedy genius to add to allegations of incompetent buffoonery."

It's a small world the elite educated halls of WS and DC ...those schools sure churn out an endless stream of 'winners' (none solvent yet but there's hopium!)

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:58 | 1424197 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

If Dimon is coronated as the new Treasury secretary, then new highs in stocks are imminent.

How is it that the PigMen always get the news first?

Oh, I forgot, they heard it from the Kiev and Prague escorts.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:26 | 1424291 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

So now your a Pimp, how low can you fall still ?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:03 | 1424390 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Now?  He has always advocated his Pigmen are get what they want. 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 13:40 | 1424658 10kby2k
10kby2k's picture


Those ladies accept only hard assets.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:51 | 1424513 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

I was obligated to conversate with the  Bishop to properly orientate the throne so we could coronate the new King.

Now, the non-moron version:

I was obliged to converse with the Bishop to properly orient the throne so we could crown the new King.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:59 | 1424198 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture


Even more hope and change.

This is just spectacular. Although I was sorta hoping Lloyd would get the gig, but I guess that would be a 'little' too overt?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 10:58 | 1424199 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Mark Zandi would make an excellent SPEEDBUMP !!!!!

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:16 | 1424413 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

there's no such thing as an 'excellent speedbump' ..but excellent creative thinking for job placement of these crones

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:00 | 1424204 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Madoff would be perfect as the Fed Chairman. Like in the movies when law enforcement recruits a "specialist" out of prison because he/she is the only one skilled enough to pull off the job. ie. Sean Connery in "The Rock".

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:24 | 1424289 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

or Vin Disel in "XXX"

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:00 | 1424206 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

JPM can sponsor some ethics in business courses at prominent MBA schools and voila problem solved.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:00 | 1424208 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Okay i see a picture of Zandi, i see a picture of Tiny Tim, so for your 2 other female readers i am adding a picture of the future Treasury Secretary (at least i will be able to watch this one without wanting to hurl things at my TV - especially when said TV is on mute).

Really for a man with that head of hair, Treasury Secretary is his destiny.

And the future treasury secretary in his younger days:

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 14:40 | 1424818 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

If Dimon is appointed, here is the new theme song for the markets:

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 18:23 | 1425206 Escapeclaws
Escapeclaws's picture

Where did he go to HS?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 19:04 | 1425258 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Browning in NYC. Only 34K a year. John D Rockefeller went there too.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:05 | 1424213 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

Whoa nellie, why is everyone so accepting of Tim's resignation? Just becuz you don't like him, lets give him the same scrutiny that the CFO of Wells got when he resigned (still unexplained) or the CFO of BAC. These guys have uncovered secrets, and my guess is that Geithner knows all the Maiden Lane sludge has been already vultured- That was the whole Robo-signing/MERS/Linda Green ordeal. Since the underwriters knew exactly what the underlying mortgages were individually, the banksterz set out to foreclose on them all. Proper paperwork or not, the foreclosures were blasted thru the courts. When the new owners of the Maiden Lane underlying mortgagess went to foreclose, they found that new titles & mortgages had already been issued! This is what renders those assets bidless. See, while Tim wants to help the banks as much as possible, the banks have helped themselves twice- once from direct asset purchases by The Fed, and second by the foreclosure and sale of properties. And this also explains why they aren't insolvent because they are not claiming the losses on the mortgages. They don't have to- they don't own them, they already took the loss when they sold the Toxic Paper to the Fed. Timmy knows this and has to get out of Dodge.

Just my theory, anybody care to shoot some holes in it? Ah, that was a stupid question, I forget where I was for a second..... Happy & Safe 4th of July folks.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:05 | 1424234 oogs66
oogs66's picture

how did he get the job of chief economist at moody's?  no one else applied because its a garbage job? 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:06 | 1424237 oogs66
oogs66's picture

The rating agencies suck at what they are supposed to do.  Rate bonds.  Why does anything think they would be good at something they don't even claim to do???? 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:37 | 1424479 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

Propaganda Excellence requires superior lie telling.

Ratings Agencies have fully demonstrated their capability in this endeavor.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:06 | 1424238 astrofibo
Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:14 | 1424257 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Don't junk this up with your spam.  No one here cares what you think, so don't link.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:26 | 1424450 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

At least write a new article.  There is plenty of materialavailable in the sphere of ponzinomics.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:08 | 1424244 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Maybe Timmy is hinting that it's getting close to beans, bullets and bullion time. He needs time to stock up and he can't do that when he has to "pick up on the oval office line" all day long and repeat his mantra of "all's well Mr. President".

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:22 | 1424278 Peter K
Peter K's picture

How many different ways can one say "tool"?


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:23 | 1424284 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Thumbs up for Bernie, he's the most qulified person around to run a multi(tr/b)illion dollar Ponzi scheme

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:24 | 1424288 jesusonline
jesusonline's picture

Mark Zandie has officially came out to reveal his gay identity.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:27 | 1424297 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Jamie Dimon. Is this for real? If that were to happen, it is the most overt 'Fuck You' to the American people you could suggest.

'Hey I rape you day in, day out, now I'm going to be on your cereal boxes with my smiling fuckin' face. You're all cunts and I don't care if you know I think this. I will continue to use the shit out of you until you beg for more'.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:21 | 1424425 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

This is done to force America into submission.  It shows Americans they have lost control of their system.  It is just like how Americans fell in love with Obama, only to find out he is as much a tyrant as Bush.

This makes the population complacent, because it would appear that there is no solution, that the financiers, oilgarchs, and power hungry will get what they want no matter what.  'Sit down Americans, you ain't going to march, so just sit down.'

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:27 | 1424451 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

Mr. Hendrix: you comment is right on target. Hats off to you Sir.  

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 13:00 | 1424545 centerline
centerline's picture

Everyday closer to a trigger point though.  The more absurd it gets, the more they risk spooking the crowds.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 16:25 | 1425032 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

+ 2, Mr. Hendrix;

Sometimes it is necessary for the powerful to show us who is in control. It's a great way to tell those in the know, and those that object, who controls the lever of power. What a powerful statement for the financial elite to make on who runs this country.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:27 | 1424299 belogical
belogical's picture

Not that we needed anymore proof that all economist are complete idiot's or at least the ones working for gov't, we get this moron. Yeah, the entire country is a powder keg and he wants to play with firer. 

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:29 | 1424307 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Mark Zandi also believes that Rudolf Havenstein was a fabulous Reichsbank president.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:34 | 1424317 riley martini
riley martini's picture

 The Corporate Fascist media promoting the low-life Dimon from JPM Chase on the Forth of July . Just when Chase settled a case for stealing from military personal and their familes that were deployed over seas. How low can the Fascist go ?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:40 | 1424327 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

Yahoo and Moody's? seriously??

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 15:30 | 1424923 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hey, they're on the inside track, they just had something yesterday about possible trouble at AIG.

Zandi says "Geithner's done a great job" as if he's done something other than be an errand boy and run on at the mouth with circular platitudes and recycled Bernanke one-liners.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:42 | 1424335 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

We must remember "Obama is tough on Wall Street".


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:45 | 1424341 DNB-sore
DNB-sore's picture

The morgue will never never never let him go, he is the best coolant of the rotting corpses in their basement... I think

unless there are more important treasury cadavers to watch and in the running keeping cool the bankers basements. He must be a very cool guy tripping on the stuff coroners use for their noses

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:46 | 1424344 Top_Kill
Top_Kill's picture

This is pure "ass to mouth" for Americans.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:56 | 1424371 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Mark "Dismal Scientist" Zandi and Diane "Lip Gloss" Swonk are part of the national cheerleading team for Wall St.  If they want Dimon, then we'll probably get it.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:57 | 1424377 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

NQ futures at new highs for the move.

Market loves the prospect of Dimon's coronation.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:12 | 1424406 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Does it matter?  Girlie lips Dimon has already won the financial game of life.  Anybody who runs the Treasury or Fed at this point will be evil and crooked.  And with a little luck he might end up on trial for crimes against America.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:41 | 1424433 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

When I thought it couldn't get any worse then comes Jamie Dimon, Obama's BFF.

Good grief. We all need a drink, and some medical mj.


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:55 | 1424527 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I think we should go a step further and put hank paulson and j. dimon's pictures on the federal reserve notes. The words: "In theft and debt we trust" should be blazened across the bottom.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 12:57 | 1424533 Girl Trader
Girl Trader's picture

IMHO it makes some sense. 

1.  Jamie gets the benefit of no tax on his stock sales.

2.  He is a Democrat.

3.  Obama makes a change sufficiently in advance of the election.

4.  Jamie is the only banker who has in the past stated that the banks need to be broken up, so perhaps he would be willing to do it.  He's a good choice since he more than anyone would understand how to do it with the least amount of damage to the economy.

4.  BofA will be the first choice--their exposure on robosigning and securitization problems with MBS would put them under anyway.

5.  Don't worry about Goldman--they will drop their bank charter and go private at the opportune moment.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 13:22 | 1424596 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Timmay knows the debt rollover shit storm is coming and he's the last of Obeyme's failed financial gurus left standing. It makes sense this particular rat needs to jump ship soon as the debt tsunami builds alongside his numerous blatant lies.

That said, Obeyme should be thinking about a woman or a person of color as the patsy for the take down....a populist. Someone who can point to the bad advice forced upon the First Windbag, causing all the chickens to come home to roost. I vote for Valerie Jarrett.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 13:49 | 1424692 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

President Hector Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho BITCHEZ!

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 14:49 | 1424849 oldmanagain
oldmanagain's picture

Dimon may know where the bodies are buried.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 15:19 | 1424902 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Dimon is much too arrogant to lower himself to Government job status.


Mon, 07/04/2011 - 17:20 | 1425109 unununium
unununium's picture

Maybe he will kneel in front of Boehner and beg for TARP II.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 15:21 | 1424907 JustACitizen
JustACitizen's picture

If you were Jamie Dimon - why would you do it? So that you can have a bunch of ignorant pricks in the Senate/House either kiss your ass or piss in your Wheaties? You already have all the money the next 3 generations of your family will ever need... Oh wait...I know...power. That's the ticket.

Some of the folks here think he is a democrat? Really? Geez, some people are gullible.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 16:03 | 1424985 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

Citidel is the new Madoff! Kenny boy has been cooking longer than Aunt Jamima.

His investors anus is agape like a crater on the moon.

Funny....the whole St. knows about it but no one wants to make waves.

The next time people wnat their money back? Look out! he gated them last time

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 17:23 | 1425116 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

Zandi - "I'm an economist"

...and not a very good one.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 18:05 | 1425167 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Not going to happen. Geithner was perfect for the job.. bumbling career buearacrat/idealogue they will find somone similiar. But who would want it after the largest Tsy debt creation in history?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 18:32 | 1425224 rapier
rapier's picture

It won't be Dimon because there is no upside for him.  Under the very best of cirucumstances the Treasury of the US will muddle through.   Under most other circumstaces it will be hindered or totally collapse. Who in their right mind would take that job.  Especially one looking to make several hundred millions of dollars the next few years?

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 19:54 | 1425323 agrotera
agrotera's picture

Happy Independence Day!!!

Thank you always for saying what needs to be said Tyler!!!!

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 21:37 | 1425463 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Doesn't matter. Unless they choose Volcker (or facsimile) gold will go to $5,000 by end of year. The debt is so massive it makes the 1979 Folly seem puny.

Savers are about to get an even Bigger screw-job so they better Lube up for some serious inflation.

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 21:57 | 1425495 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

Jamie Dimon as the Secretary of the U.S. Treasury ?    The same Jamie Dimon who runs a criminal & insolvent bank ?   That guy ? !     ......... he'll fit right in with the rest of the (mafia) gang !

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 22:29 | 1425549 penisouraus erecti
penisouraus erecti's picture

things that make you go........WTF

Mon, 07/04/2011 - 23:59 | 1425769 Sizzurp
Sizzurp's picture

Sure, I mean why not reward Jamie with a way to unload his appreciated stock tax free.  I suppose he would also have some interesting ideas about what to do with remaining US gold reserves, and private ownership of the same.  Never mind that JP Morgan should by all rights be bankrupt and gone.  Never mind the billions and billions worth of mortgage fraud.  Hey everbodys doin it right.  One thing is for sure, he has first rate experience at running a large company into the ground, so he might fit in rather well there in DC.  Truly the lunatics are running the asylum.

Tue, 07/05/2011 - 01:14 | 1425846 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture


US President: Barack Husse-in-sane Obama
Special Skills: Deaf, dumb & particularly stupid; all the key requirements for a modern-day US President. He’s far safer as a US ‘Puppet’ President than operating freely within the private sector you know!

US Treasury Secretary: Jamie Robo-Fraud Dimon
Special Skills: Fraudulent, wasteful, illegal usage of other people’s money. Skillful in avoiding all blame for his actions. Able to create automated computer algorithmic trades which tear a new rectum for the middle class within seconds. I mean, who better to choke the US Dollar to death, he’s the king!

US Fed Chairman (ChairSatan): Lloyd Blankfein
Special Skills: Blank-fiend is THE financial messiah, just ask him, he’ll confirm it. Blank-fiend is doing God’s financial work here on Earth. Instead of God sending the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse, which is a bit melodramatic, and to be perfectly honest with you, are a bit piss-weak compared to Blank-fiend, God sends his Financial Messiah to purge the system of its rottenness (that’s you by the way). Blank-fiend’s wrath presiding as ChairSatan of the US Federal Reserve System, reigning eternal fire and brimstone upon the middle class, would be immeasurable…remember, Blank-fiend is the guy who put the ‘Toxic’ in ‘Toxic Derivatives’, his financial Minions designed them, sold them to his own clients, then made bets on the Stock Market against their own creations, and then securitized them all using suckers such as AIG and Lehman Brothers. Just imagine what he can for YOU!

US Treasury Advisor: Bernard Madoff (Ponzi Specialist)
Special Skills: Being the mastermind of the second largest Ponzi scheme in the history of the world gives Mr ‘Made-Off-With’ a skill-set second to none…well…second only to THE greatest Ponzi scheme ever invented, the current Global Financial System itself. Bernard’s insight into ‘The Greater Fool’ philosophy makes him a perfect synergy between the US Treasury environment and trickery…I mean, I’m sure there are Indigenous people somewhere who have never heard of the US Dollar.

World Bank President: Hillary 'I Want A Man Who Doesn't Smoke' Clinton
Special Skills: None! She’s a burnt-out old hag, just perfect for the head of the World Bank. Maybe she’ll rape a Hotel Cleaner and actually accomplish something in the sunset years of her life…other than being second to that ‘other woman’, Monica ‘Sybian Cowgirl’ Lewinski.

US Economic Advisor: ‘Helicopter’ Ben Bernanke
Special Skills: Taking lessons from the Great Depression, incorrectly mixing-in Keynesian Economics, and constructing the most hideous debt bomb this planet has ever seen. The world famous name ‘Helicopter Ben’ is derived, not from a sexual act (although he does tend to tease the markets somewhat), but from his statement that he can create Inflation simply by pushing Federal Reserve Notes (That’s paper US Dollars for all you retards out there) from helicopters and onto US cities, thus stimulating the economy while creating Inflation due to the expansion of the monetary base. Ben’s Doctorial Thesis was attained whole with his head surgically inserted within his own Descending Colon (which left his head looking a bit like a Bullet), thus his inability to connect Keynesian Economics with real-world…well, reality, basically.

US Advisor to China: Timothy ‘Oliver Twist’ Geithner
Special Skills: US-China Comedian and Bond Beggar Extraordinaire. Chinese University economics students love Timmy; he has entertained them to no end. On a recent trip to China endorsing and promoting US Treasury Assets (again for all you retards, I’m now talking about Bonds), Timmy pledged that the US was “Good for the debt”, and that the “US Economy is sound”, which of course raised thunderous laughter.

And last but not least, my favorite.

US Special Advisor to the European Economic Union: Herman Achille Van Rompuy (AKA Freak)
Special Skills: Same as Hillary, nothing at all, I just love how the freak looks like Rango! Seriously, he does…see for yourself
Here’s Rango:

And here’s Rompuy:

I think that’s right!

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