Market Response To Irish Stress Test

Tyler Durden's picture

The market took one look at the stress test results... sniffed around the latest bail out plans (after taking 15 minutes to download the stress test pdf from a server capable of handling at most 5 simultaneous requests)... and slammed the 2 Year to the lows of the day. Good news though, it is not at 10% yet. Give it 12 hours.

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vote_libertarian_party's picture

...aaaaand US stocks yawn.

the mad hatter's picture

investing has become a matter of getting yourself on the ship that sinks the slowest.

paradoxically, the safest ship is the the ship made out of gold.

tmosley's picture

Gold is not a ship.  It is a geologically stable island.

Silver is an island being wracked by volcanic eruptions.  Dangerous, but expanding fast.

the mad hatter's picture


Very nice analogy my friend.

Robslob's picture the rich man's money and feel the rich man's pain...

Buy the poor man's money and rejoice in the middleman's gain...

Hint: The aggregate wealth of the have nots 95% far outweighs the top to have both in your safe...

Bananamerican's picture it

also, that which the wealthy man stores up for today shall pass unto the crypt of the humble in this manner HENCE

crazyjsmith's picture

The market is a whore.  She loves everybody "long" time, until you fall asleep, she then will steal your laptop and wallet and be gone.  You will be left with nothing but guilt and lipstick marks on your shirt. 

entendance's picture

Your entire GDP is $200 billion, more or less. That's about €142 billion Euros, which means that the banks "need" about seventeen percent of GDP infused into them in new capital...>

wandstrasse's picture

do not worry! The EU has a 'Rettungsschirm', literally 'rescuing umbrella', means EU's promise to print billions and trillions to buy treasury bonds of insolvent nations. There are two german words which cause me PHYSICAL PAIN: 1-Rettungsschirm, 2-Friedensprozess (endeavour to create peace btw. Israel and Palestine/Arab neighbours). Both words serve to tranquilize the population, in both cases those who utter the words do not exactly know what it means, and both words' objects are totally futile.

oogs66's picture

Don't forget tomorrow is first day of the month so stocks must go up, they do every 1st day of the month!  except for this month ;)


its amazing how resilient stocks are

John Law Lives's picture

Rising stocks are a reflection of the Fed pumping money into the sytem.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Nothing matters. Best first quarter of year in a decade.

Japan about to melt to the sea too.

pendragon's picture

so not priced in then??? then why did the euro rally?

willien1derland's picture

The Euro rallied because the Eurostat 'Flash' CPI metric came in much higher than expected - the conventional idea is that if inflation is running at 2.6% then there should be a consummate increase in interest rates to offset this effect - this increase in interest rates push the Euro higher for a series of macroeconomic reasons under conventional models however, this assumes that Central Banks want to ensure their currency is a good store of value, however, in this day & age that is merely a tradition -

pendragon's picture

that news came out at 9 am gmt....

irishlink's picture

America yawns because Ireland is not a risk to the on going bull market. If the roles were reversed the entire Irish economy would be in the toilet now. A scenario that may not be too far away!

plocequ1's picture

Why is the market higher?

willien1derland's picture

What would Bernie Madoff Do?

irishlink's picture

Call the brokers to see if more money could be scraped together to keep the ponsi going for another day.

TaxEstate's picture

Everyone's frontrunning the huge Q2 mutual fund inflows. 1st day of the quarter, you know. The market isn't allowed to go down on the 1st day of the quarter. Ever. 

campag's picture

Russell keeps heading north . trade buying US stock selling Japanese ? Someone some where must have dropped a fortune in the Jap market any names coming out ?  Rumour of a UK bank ?

DosZap's picture

Yeah, the Japanese Gv't, a whisker away from ONE TRILLION>

irishlink's picture

We have been drip fed the bad news like morphine by our governments over the past three years . By the time TSHTF we will be so comatosed we wont feel a thing. Great strategy EH?

irishlink's picture

HSBC would be the obvious candidate. But heard they have had no problem raising money of late.

tekhneek's picture

Ireland's fucking tiny. What the fuck is the big deal? Fuck this stupid news. News doesn't even fucking matter anyways. We could have 100 nukes go off in the middle east and the DOW would take the fuck off because... why the hell not? It did last time. Clearly equities are bi-winning.

Pepe's picture

So, does anyone know where the 70 bn in assets to be sold by the Irish banks will come from

Die Weiße Rose's picture

Ireland might be tiny,

but the billions of Euros in bail-out ain't no chicken-feed.

Angela Merkel gets a bit nervous giving out billions free German taxpayer funds

to tiny countries like Ireland,who still want to keep their corporate tax rate at 12% and soak up the bail-out that goes straight into the pockets of companies like Google or Apple in Ireland,in return of record low corporate tax-haven rates.

and what do German taxpayers get in return ?

Another request from Portugal, Spain, Greece etc.

there are 500 billion People in the Euro-Zone and that is not tiny.

After all,we can't all be printing QE - USD and export Inflation

to the rest of the world, or should we ?

M.B. Drapier's picture

Here's a hidden extra goodie: note that the stress tests didn't cover Anglo Irish Bank or Irish Nationwide, both already out of business. The good news is that they thus have no regulatory capital requirements any more. The bad news is that any taxpayer money to bail out senior bondholders in those institutions will be additional to the €24 extra going to recapitalise the four still-living banks.

Oh, and then there's NAMA.

trav7777's picture

Market thought Irish stress test was Glenlivet vs Glenfiddich or some such thing

Eireann go Brach's picture

Throw some Bama Bucks at it, even though we will all wipe our fucking arses with them very soon!