Market Surges On Non-News That Greece Has "Reached" An Austerity Plan

Tyler Durden's picture

Somehow the fact that Greece has "reached" a deal on its austerity plan is supposed to be good for 100 pips on the EURUSD even though this is not news, and has been priced in for a long time. Furthermore it does absolutely nothing to dampen the fear and loathing that this plan will be met by the broader Greek population. But with markets that have absolutely no liquidity and monkeys controlling the buy and sell algos, one can only sit back and laugh.

From Reuters:

Greece has won the consent of a team of EU-IMF inspectors for its new five-year austerity plan on Thursday after committing to an additional round of tax rises and spending cuts, sources with knowledge of the talks said.

"We have a deal," said one of the sources.

Another source close to the negotiations said that a few remaining technical details would be finalised on Friday.

Finance Minister Evangelos Venizelos announced on Thursday Greece's Socialist government would lower the minimum threshold for income tax to 8,000 euros a year, increase the tax on heating oil and impose a one-off solidarity levy on income of between 1 and 5 percent.

What deal? Did the Greek population say they will vote for this austerity plan? This is nothing short of pathetic attempts to manipulate the market.

What was the alternative: no plan, in which Europe's bankers would all go bankrupt overnight? Right.

And here are the terms from the newly proposed plan:

Greek Finance Minister Evangelos Venizelos on Thursday unveiled measures to help Greece plug a shortfall in the austerity plan agreed with inspectors from the European Union and International Monetary Fund.

Venizelos said that when he took office last week, the shortfall stood at 5.5 billion euros. Subsequent adjustments brought the figure down to 3.8 billion euros and the measures announced on Thursday were aimed at closing that gap.

Following are the measures announced:

- One-off solidarity levy on personal income ranging between 1 and 5 percent, according to income: Those earning 12,000 to 20,000 euros a year will be taxed at 1 percent. Rate then climbs to 2 percent for incomes of 20,000-50,000 euros, to 3 percent for 50,000-100,000 euros and to 4 percent for those earning 100,000 euros or more. Lawmakers and public office holders to pay a 5 percent rate.

- Tax-free threshold on income lowered to 8,000 euros annually from current level of 12,000 euros, with the lowest rate set at 10 percent and exemptions for young people up to 30 years, pensioners over 65 years and the disabled.

- Annual levy of 300 euros on the self-employed.

- Small tax hike for heating and diesel fuel for companies.

- Public spending cuts of 400 million euros in 2011.

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AGoldhamster's picture

Guess this should save the planet.

crazyjsmith's picture

Fucking Solidarity Tax!!  I love it. The audicity of these crooks.  You can't make this shit up. 

I was joking with some friends the day we "killed" Osama, that we'll be seeing a "Freedom Tax" coming our way, and they will call it a Freedom tax.  We were laughing, but now, it isn't so funny. 

Solidarity Tax for Europe up... Freedom Tax for the USA.  If you don't pay it, you are either a terrorist, or someone who hates us for our freedom. 

What a fucking joke, now back to your regularly scheduled program. 

slow_roast's picture

These markets are a joke.  Algoporn

carbonmutant's picture

 The Euro is a joke...

+1 for Algoporn

hedgeless_horseman's picture

Euro Trash Girl: Take your shorts off, baby, and I will go down.

Low Volume Addict:  I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Sabibaby's picture

Low Volume Addict: Hey, those are my nutz and that's a vice!!!

DaveyJones's picture

austerity is the new prosperity and your welcome for our charity


"a few remaining technical details would be finalised on Friday" which day of the week each greek citizen will forego eating

DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Aknownymouse's picture


Spastica Rex's picture

Could be a new world record. Record. Record.

jus_lite_reading's picture

+$14.297 Trillion

This news made me laugh so hard I urniated in my pants. 

These shit-for-brains accomplished nothing.... they do not have the permission from the people to do this and that means all hell is going to break the hell out! AND THEN the country decends into chaos anyways!!! 

JustanEmotion's picture

lol, funniest thing i've heard all day.

qussl3's picture

Gotta keep that AUD/JPY above 84.

There be dragons below.


Cassandra Syndrome's picture

I asked this jokingly on another thread, I didn't think it was serious. This is one fucked up world we live in.

centerline's picture

MUST.... DEFEND.... 12000 DOW....

cosmictrainwreck's picture

that's what I figured it was....just use the Greek thingy as an excuse to run

Arius's picture

next time is a Bill Gross tweet ... other ideas???

pls email to Becky Quick ...CNBS is collecting them ...


such games will continue until they run out of fools willing to separate with their money ...

Translational Lift's picture

A-holes grasping at any straw they can find......all of this shit becomes less and less meaningful as time goes on....

dwdollar's picture

Mission accomplished!  I'd like to personal thank our brothers and sisters in the Ministry of Truth for this successful propaganda piece.  It was very believable.


Superslam's picture

Ahem...the Greek parliament still has to approve this thing.

Bunga Bunga's picture

and even if approved, some still have to implement those austerity measures.

btw, Greek police changed the sides ...




edotabin's picture

Actually the people outside the parliament need to approve it. That is the only thing creating the debate. Otherwise, the shills would have passed this is a hearbeat.

SheepDog-One's picture

They now need new non-news miracle events hourly just to prevent total implosion.

Dr. No's picture

To be honest, I was quite impressed with the ramp job.  It adds one more (as if anyone needed another) example of why the market is broken. 100 point swings are impressive when you are watching from the outside in.

SheepDog-One's picture

100 point wild swings based upon these kind of utter nonsense stories brings me back to the days of 2008.

carbonmutant's picture

 Greece will promise anything to get the money.

That's how they got into this problem in the first place.

Sabibaby's picture

Greece has purty eyes, just keep telling her to look up.

hambone's picture

Funny, ES and all risk assets lifted but no commodities lifted with those risk assets.

Market is long gone and now is simply political theater.

Oil and all commodities hammered for the day, their work is only half done.  Now they flip the buy switch and close green (they have to, the headline was written before the trading began today..."Traders see relief in lower oil prices, see optimism for consumer comeback"

alien-IQ's picture

is it possible that they're gonna push the market green on that bullshit? really? I cannot believe what I'm seeing here. This is a fuckin joke right?

Cdad's picture

This is a fuckin joke right?

Nope.  It's called "investing."  Clearly, "investors" just got very excited about the prospects that Greece is fixed again.  Yep, book it.  

In the meantime, you can count on more and more mutual fund redemption market closes, as the criminal bankers in our midst have so perverted the market that they were charged with protecting that no one will even consider putting capital to work in it.  Which is called "uninvesting until tens of thousands of pink slips are finally mailed out in the financial services industry."

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

All problems solved.  Greece has fixed everything.  Today shall always be known as Earth Awesome day!!  Whew we made it.

Cdad's picture

But with markets that's have absolutely no liquidity and monkeys controlling the buy and sell algos, one can only sit back and laugh.

The bill is coming due...on zero market credibility.  The way I see it, that insane surge at 3 only secures a market break lower.  And later, they will call it "volatility."

Unreal.  Capital will not form in this environment.  The more they do to try to prop up this sick situation, the worse it will get.

Cue the "buying opportunity" chatter over at the BlowHorn...and maybe THIS TIME it will work...or we close with MORE Mutual Fund Redemption.

SheepDog-One's picture

This time, its REALLY is different....the Maniacal Monetizers admit they dont know how, and even admit they dont understand any of it, but bottom line all is fuckin WELL, dammit!!

Cdad's picture

And here comes the criminal banker chatter about "historically cheap valuations."  Really?  I did not know that.

Seriously, who do they think is buying this Kabuki theater?  Who do they think believes that, after not being fixed, now Greece is fixed?

I am clearly down the cosmic bunny hole again, Dog.  That was one of the most blatant and stupid market pumps I have EVER SEEN.

SheepDog-One's picture

YES there is surely ALWAYS a 'bigger fool' just behind the last stawk buyer in line....OMG people are going to be destroyed!

'Cheap valuations'....SO why didnt the CNBC guys buy it all up then? If its so CHEAP and all....why are they trying to get OTHER people to buy their stuff thats so cheap, yet worth SO much more? 

What a sham...I'd play 3 card monty at that guys card table on the corner any day before I played Wall St's criminal rigged casino ever again.

HOORAY for the Greater Fool, and his endless supply of money to buy 'cheap stawks' the used car salesmen wheel out on CNBS!

Cdad's picture

And here comes the Closing Bell Bull/Bull debate.  With Bill "I should have stayed on leave" Griffith as moderator, you know skepticism will triumph, and dumb ass banker ideas will be challenged.

And someday, Maria "sexiest hair alive" Bartiromo will rediscover her curiosity.

SheepDog-One's picture

'Historically cheap, buy any measure! Pssst...hey buddy.... buy our used car, its cheap, and really worth far more....but see I like you...I want you to have this special deal basically Im giving you free money'....thats a whole day of CNBC condensed to 1 sentence.