Market Surges On Non-News That Greece Has "Reached" An Austerity Plan

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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:16 | 1395963 AGoldhamster
AGoldhamster's picture

Guess this should save the planet.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:15 | 1396011 Matxeu
Matxeu's picture

space cash!

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:43 | 1396454 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

Fucking Solidarity Tax!!  I love it. The audicity of these crooks.  You can't make this shit up. 

I was joking with some friends the day we "killed" Osama, that we'll be seeing a "Freedom Tax" coming our way, and they will call it a Freedom tax.  We were laughing, but now, it isn't so funny. 

Solidarity Tax for Europe up... Freedom Tax for the USA.  If you don't pay it, you are either a terrorist, or someone who hates us for our freedom. 

What a fucking joke, now back to your regularly scheduled program. 

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:14 | 1395966 slow_roast
slow_roast's picture

These markets are a joke.  Algoporn

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:16 | 1396016 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

 The Euro is a joke...

+1 for Algoporn

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:23 | 1396061 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Euro Trash Girl: Take your shorts off, baby, and I will go down.

Low Volume Addict:  I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:24 | 1396092 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Low Volume Addict: Hey, those are my nutz and that's a vice!!!

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:57 | 1396265 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

austerity is the new prosperity and your welcome for our charity


"a few remaining technical details would be finalised on Friday" which day of the week each greek citizen will forego eating

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:23 | 1396399 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:24 | 1396404 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:24 | 1396405 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:24 | 1396406 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:29 | 1396409 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

I'd like to push my price into the value area

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:46 | 1396478 Biosci
Biosci's picture

over and over again

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:58 | 1396512 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture


Thu, 06/23/2011 - 17:09 | 1396541 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Could be a new world record. Record. Record.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:45 | 1396228 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

+$14.297 Trillion

This news made me laugh so hard I urniated in my pants. 

These shit-for-brains accomplished nothing.... they do not have the permission from the people to do this and that means all hell is going to break the hell out! AND THEN the country decends into chaos anyways!!! 

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:11 | 1396344 smiler03
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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 17:48 | 1396695 JustanEmotion
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lol, funniest thing i've heard all day.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:14 | 1395967 qussl3
qussl3's picture

Gotta keep that AUD/JPY above 84.

There be dragons below.


Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:14 | 1395969 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

I asked this jokingly on another thread, I didn't think it was serious. This is one fucked up world we live in.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:15 | 1395976 centerline
centerline's picture

MUST.... DEFEND.... 12000 DOW....

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:17 | 1395989 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

that's what I figured it was....just use the Greek thingy as an excuse to run

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:44 | 1396225 Arius
Arius's picture

next time is a Bill Gross tweet ... other ideas???

pls email to Becky Quick ...CNBS is collecting them ...


such games will continue until they run out of fools willing to separate with their money ...

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:43 | 1396215 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

A-holes grasping at any straw they can find......all of this shit becomes less and less meaningful as time goes on....

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:03 | 1396306 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Mission accomplished!  I'd like to personal thank our brothers and sisters in the Ministry of Truth for this successful propaganda piece.  It was very believable.


Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:11 | 1395979 Superslam
Superslam's picture

Ahem...the Greek parliament still has to approve this thing.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 18:16 | 1396193 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

and even if approved, some still have to implement those austerity measures.

btw, Greek police changed the sides ...




Thu, 06/23/2011 - 16:17 | 1396355 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Actually the people outside the parliament need to approve it. That is the only thing creating the debate. Otherwise, the shills would have passed this is a hearbeat.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:16 | 1395981 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They now need new non-news miracle events hourly just to prevent total implosion.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:16 | 1395983 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

To be honest, I was quite impressed with the ramp job.  It adds one more (as if anyone needed another) example of why the market is broken. 100 point swings are impressive when you are watching from the outside in.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:17 | 1395998 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

100 point wild swings based upon these kind of utter nonsense stories brings me back to the days of 2008.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:22 | 1396044 hugovanderbubble
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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:32 | 1396123 ZakuKommander
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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:48 | 1396245 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

+1997 - 1998 Russian and Asian Currency Crisis...

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 17:10 | 1396545 Spastica Rex
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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:17 | 1395987 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

 Greece will promise anything to get the money.

That's how they got into this problem in the first place.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:23 | 1396082 Frank N. Beans
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Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:27 | 1396114 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Greece has purty eyes, just keep telling her to look up.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:19 | 1395988 hambone
hambone's picture

Funny, ES and all risk assets lifted but no commodities lifted with those risk assets.

Market is long gone and now is simply political theater.

Oil and all commodities hammered for the day, their work is only half done.  Now they flip the buy switch and close green (they have to, the headline was written before the trading began today..."Traders see relief in lower oil prices, see optimism for consumer comeback"

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:17 | 1395990 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

is it possible that they're gonna push the market green on that bullshit? really? I cannot believe what I'm seeing here. This is a fuckin joke right?

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:23 | 1396035 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture


Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:32 | 1396120 Cdad
Cdad's picture

This is a fuckin joke right?

Nope.  It's called "investing."  Clearly, "investors" just got very excited about the prospects that Greece is fixed again.  Yep, book it.  

In the meantime, you can count on more and more mutual fund redemption market closes, as the criminal bankers in our midst have so perverted the market that they were charged with protecting that no one will even consider putting capital to work in it.  Which is called "uninvesting until tens of thousands of pink slips are finally mailed out in the financial services industry."

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:13 | 1395991 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

All problems solved.  Greece has fixed everything.  Today shall always be known as Earth Awesome day!!  Whew we made it.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:13 | 1395992 Cdad
Cdad's picture

But with markets that's have absolutely no liquidity and monkeys controlling the buy and sell algos, one can only sit back and laugh.

The bill is coming due...on zero market credibility.  The way I see it, that insane surge at 3 only secures a market break lower.  And later, they will call it "volatility."

Unreal.  Capital will not form in this environment.  The more they do to try to prop up this sick situation, the worse it will get.

Cue the "buying opportunity" chatter over at the BlowHorn...and maybe THIS TIME it will work...or we close with MORE Mutual Fund Redemption.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:20 | 1396017 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

This time, its REALLY is different....the Maniacal Monetizers admit they dont know how, and even admit they dont understand any of it, but bottom line all is fuckin WELL, dammit!!

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:21 | 1396064 Cdad
Cdad's picture

And here comes the criminal banker chatter about "historically cheap valuations."  Really?  I did not know that.

Seriously, who do they think is buying this Kabuki theater?  Who do they think believes that, after not being fixed, now Greece is fixed?

I am clearly down the cosmic bunny hole again, Dog.  That was one of the most blatant and stupid market pumps I have EVER SEEN.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:35 | 1396090 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

YES there is surely ALWAYS a 'bigger fool' just behind the last stawk buyer in line....OMG people are going to be destroyed!

'Cheap valuations'....SO why didnt the CNBC guys buy it all up then? If its so CHEAP and all....why are they trying to get OTHER people to buy their stuff thats so cheap, yet worth SO much more? 

What a sham...I'd play 3 card monty at that guys card table on the corner any day before I played Wall St's criminal rigged casino ever again.

HOORAY for the Greater Fool, and his endless supply of money to buy 'cheap stawks' the used car salesmen wheel out on CNBS!

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:41 | 1396189 Cdad
Cdad's picture

And here comes the Closing Bell Bull/Bull debate.  With Bill "I should have stayed on leave" Griffith as moderator, you know skepticism will triumph, and dumb ass banker ideas will be challenged.

And someday, Maria "sexiest hair alive" Bartiromo will rediscover her curiosity.

Thu, 06/23/2011 - 15:45 | 1396249 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Historically cheap, buy any measure! Pssst...hey buddy.... buy our used car, its cheap, and really worth far more....but see I like you...I want you to have this special deal basically Im giving you free money'....thats a whole day of CNBC condensed to 1 sentence.

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