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Market Update: March 23, 2015
Submitted by Chindit13
Market Update 23 March 2015
The DOW rebounded from a crushing six point opening sell off to
close the day at 21,626, up 43 points for the day. The rebound came
after there were reports, later denied, that European officials are
working on a bailout for EU member Greece. Greece has been in a state
of near suspended animation since debt woes struck the country in early
2010, though strikes have been averted through the daily airing on
government controlled television of an Anthony Quinn film extravaganza.
It was the DOW’s 722nd consecutive positive close, as well as the
217th straight positive Monday close. The strongest sectors were, as
has been the case for the last half decade, consumer retail, banks,
homebuilders, and specialty coffee companies. Key movers were Sears
Holdings, whose stocked jumped after reports surfaced that billionaire
Ed Lampert was increasing his stake in the retailer to just above 100%,
and KBHomes, who reported their 63rd consecutive smaller than expected
quarterly loss. Overall volume was somewhat light at just under five
thousand shares. There were 4,658 new highs, no new lows, with 2852
counters unchanged. 3788 companies showed no volume whatsoever, which
independent market commentator Dennis Kneale was quick to point out
“indicates the shares are held by strong hands“.
The market also received a small boost from influential market
startegist Abby Joseph Cohen of Goldman Sachs-Wells Fargo-Bank of
America Advisors, who said that she believes the market is 13.5%
undervalued.
Offsetting this somewhat were comments by perennial bear Robert
Prechter, who advised clients to go 10,350% short in preparation for
the arrival of P3. Mr. Prechter was interviewed by Bloomberg Fox
Business News reporter Charles Gasparino from Prechter’s suite at the
Bellevue Institute for the Perpetually Pessimistic. The two later dined
together at Elaines.
In economic data, the market was buoyed by a better than expected
100% increase in sales of existing homes, though some market watchers
argued the data was only cause for cautious optimism rather than
outright euphoria, coming as it did after last month’s nationwide sales
of that single home in the suddenly chic downtown area of Detroit. The
market awaits Friday’s release of the BLS monthly employment figures,
where market consensus calls for a better than expected number. Last
month’s figures are expected to be revised down, as they have been
every single month since the fall of 2009, though economist Robert
Barbera donwplayed this anticipated revision, reminding the market that
labor is a lagging indicator and that unemployment of 36% means that
64% of the labor force is gainfully employed. Mr. Barbera’s models show
labor bottoming within the next few months.
Elsewhere, the Federal Reserve released its latest balance sheet
today, showing that total assets stand just below $47 trillion. Among
the key month-to-month changes, the Fed increased its holdings of Hong
Kong mortgaged backed securities, and slightly reduced its holding of
Icelandic Government debt. Other key items highlighted included a
slight increase in the holdings of Maiden Lane LXVII, the vehicle
formed to support Kenyan real estate prices after Somali pirates, stung
by the total collapse of world trade, could no longer make payments on
their Mombasa properties.
In other markets, gold fell $8 to close at $1097. Gold has been in a
tight range of approximately $1090 to $1135 for five years. Two noted
gold experts, Jim Sinclair and Gordon Gekko, reiterated their call to
BUY GOLD NOW!
In a related market story, former Zero Hedge founder Tyler Durden
lost yet another appeal against the contempt of court charge that has
kept him confined in a Federal lockup since late 2010. Mr. Durden, who
reportedly suffers from a multiple personality disorder, was charged
with contempt for failing to reveal his source for an article he wrote
detailing the Federal Reserves acceptance of Pets.com stock and Russian
Czarist Bonds as collateral at the Fed’s Primary Dealer Credit
Facility. Fed Chairmen in Perpetuity Ben Bernanke has yet to comment on
the allegations, other than to say he’ll look into it. Representative
Ron Paul added that he will hold Bernanke to it.
»
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Good stuff. Thanks. Off to go pop some more Zoloft!!
Crap like this undermines the credibility of the site
Maybe, but it is very funny. Besides, credibility is way, way overrated these days.
Where exactly do they make this "credibility" stuff and how can I get me some?
Having no sense of humor in life undermines your entire fucking life! :)
+1
+2
+100 thatta way to give it to the uptight stiffies!
It's humorous and you are humorless. We need some gallows humor in this FUBAR market. My thanks to Chindit!
Funny, I don't see crap like this on Yahoo... A little sarcasm about the absurd nature of our economy actually demonstrates to readers that this site looks at current events with a skeptical eye.
Take it easy Church lady!
“Could it be…SATAN?”
why ? do political cartoons undermine the credibility of newspapers ? Does Andy Rooney undermine the credibility of 60 minutes? Does Cramer undermine the credibility of CNBC? .....okay forget that last one .
I posted this on the "Morning Humor" thread. Apparently Tyler decided to run it on its own. I was getting a little dizzy watching the sharp spikes and tumbles in the market tonight, so I took a moment to try to peer into the future. Sadly, this is all I could see. I'm either not prescient enough to know what's coming, or the powers that be have turned all of us into jokes.
Time will tell.
Your work is greatly appreciated for those of us that seem to laugh much less than we used to. TY. Laughter is good medicine.
Tyler has a sense of humor too. Several bloggers here have one. Don't fret over the negative comment. The lady was just waiting for- Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader- so she can see the adds about drugs for women who pee in their pants while waiting on the guy to take a pill to get it up.
Keep it rolling chindit13, we need it.
LMAO, we can't be gloom and doom 24/7
+1000, but sorry to see gold still at 1100!
yeah the gold price was the punch line :) well done chindit13...
on a related note it is nice to see that four junks no longer censor the comment
Cookie, get a life. If you can't appreciate it don't read it.
Undermines it ? Hogwash. Jeez, in this time and place we need something to keep us smiling.
Note to self. Must work on sense of humour.
Lovely piece, thanks for the laugh.
Bwaaaaa!!! I just pissed myself!
good for a chuckle. how true.
He forgot to mention that consumer confidence was down because it rained most of the week and home sales were down due to the new lunar cycle .
Heeeeehee! %)
p.s. I think Abby 'Joey' Cohen of Goldman-Fargos-of-America was in a Jack Welch body suit this morning on CNBS.
Fucking brilliant good old fashioned fun! Thanks Tyler!
Greece Exists
Joe Sixpack
March 23, 2015
Brussels, AP- After five years of pretending there was no problem in Greece, and in fact, all the EU just pretending Greece did not exist, the problem resurfaced today. A 9 year old child, Bobby O'Shannon was on a prime time game show in Ireland and cried that he wanted turkey fried in grease (Greece), which reminded the audience that in fact Greece did still exist. This led to a collapse of the Irish bourse this morning, followed by London, then in a chain reaction the rest of the markets in the EU. Deutsche Bank was taken over by the Bundes Bank, and many other banking institutions in Europe are failing. The US markets are currently down 7%. Bobby O'Shannon was arrested for his despicable act.
I thought that was today's report until I got to the bit about holding Bernanke to it
Great comedy always contains the absurd, the truth, or a bit of both. Thanks for the lunch laugh!
lmao..to funny
what about the recent traffic out of Fort Knox.
Rumor has it that China and the UAE have been acquiring gold futures for the past 14 months and they started demanding delivery last month. Further rumor has it they laddered their futures purchases out another 24 months in increasing amounts.
lol.
LMAO
LOLOLOL
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Great stuff.
Is Robert Barbera from the investment house of Hanna-Barbera?
...CNBC still investigating that runaway Prius story...
It's amazing how things will change at the end of this administration...
PRICELESS! Absolutely Priceless. Great post.
It would be funny if it did not mimic the Reality of our Market today.
Thanks for the needed laugh, Chindit13.
Durden... Another Terrorist Off of the Streets...
in the now multi decade long War on Terror.
In other news...
Popular ex president George Bush, the child left behind, gave a speech at his alma mater Yale University.
Commenting on the jailing of rouge financial blogger Durden, Bush made the off the cuff comment:
"You are either with us... or with those intra nets bloggers!"...
to a roaring respose from the audinece of elite ivy league students on their way to Wall Street and the CIA.
In National Security news...
The NSA shut down 8 more financial blogs today under the recently passed "Patriot Internet Control Act"...
The move was endorsed by SEC chairman Chris Dodd...
This Durden guy is not only suspiciously rouge-tinted, but reportedly quite a rogue as well.
Rogue-rouge... God I am dumber than Palin McMILF...
No dig intended, I rated your comment AAA+
But in the same paragraph I am making fun of Bush's illiteracy?
I have to stand in the corner with George Bush's dunce cap on, now...
You mean it wasn't real????????????
Well we don't really know that. Have to wait 5 years to find out
thanks for the chuckle & effort put in, Chindit13. outstanding.
In this swamp of insanity we are, and have been, ZH is essential reading...Tnx all..
Oh, yea, I too would like to 'get me some of that creditibility stuff..'
Seems to be in short supply these days..
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