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Match Made In Incompetence Heaven: John Thain Is CIT's New CEO And Chairman

Tyler Durden's picture




 

CIT's gorgeous, bouncer-worthy, and recently bankrupt, 5th Avenue lobby is about to receive some golden commodes and even more taxpayer reverse golden showers if and when the government is forced to bail out John Thain for the nth time. In the meantime Thain will receive $500k and $5.5 million in stock as he prepares to destroy yet another recently bankrupt company. Read all about the latest massacre of change you can drown your sorrows in from Bloomberg. We refuse to touch this filth.

 

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Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:27 | 221679 RoastingBankers
RoastingBankers's picture

this proves you  dont need  a brain to be successful.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:06 | 221710 Bearish News
Bearish News's picture

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered."

-Voltaire

After reading Too Big To Fail, I'm pretty sure Thain meets the first criteria. But it sounds like he is also an ass. So the quote might not fit perfect, but I still like it.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:53 | 221755 Screwball
Screwball's picture

I just finished Too Big To Fail last week.  What did you think of it?

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 12:37 | 222193 Bearish News
Bearish News's picture

I liked it. A bit too friendly to the banksters, but still good.

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 23:31 | 224442 Screwball
Screwball's picture

Agreed.  I also wondered what he didn't tell us.  But I think you summed it up quite well.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 01:24 | 221835 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Recycle a faithful (and incredibly profitable) soldier for the international banking cartel syndicate. Take a bullet and reputational smear, you're a made man. Welcome to the brotherhood.

Your earthly term in time will be sated with power, dominion, exorbitant wealth, stature.

Of course when those billions of body cells cease their mortal activity, the core goes to your creator.

His judgement is of an entirely different complexion. Where your handlers saw merit, He sees corruption, intrigue, and blackest evil.

Enjoy your short span until your are returned to his dominion of absolute power.

The present is just a cold blue rock revolving about a minor star with a four score annual trip for the ride. Then comes curse/reward built upon the complete all-seen endeavours.

But go ahead and act the titan of industry. From your domineering and commanding heights, there is no fear, and none can touch you....for a space of time at least.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:04 | 222035 Vecon
Vecon's picture

I have to say I hate the guy, but I just don't think he's an idiot, actually he's the genius out of all this crap, he's the one that unloaded merrill on BofA at a premium when BofA went in to buy Lehman. He then f'd up the whole redecoration situation. So maybe he IS an idiot after all.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:30 | 221683 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

One wonders how long it will be until Chuck Prince become CEO of GMAC?

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 00:03 | 221766 chindit13
chindit13's picture

And Angelo Mozilo Chairman of the Fed.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 07:32 | 221979 Crime of the Century
Crime of the Century's picture

Suge Knight/NBC Universal

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:31 | 221685 putbuyer
putbuyer's picture

These douche bags must all be connected like the plant life in the movie Avatar.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:39 | 221692 Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

+1000

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 03:15 | 221908 Burnbright
Burnbright's picture

Zing!

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:30 | 222058 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Awesome.  We need some kind of taxonomy/"tree of life" chart of douchebags so we can keep them all straight.

Consider John Thain and Tim Geithner.  Many would agree they are both bags of douche.  But they are not exactly the same.  Cousins, perhaps?  Maybe more distant relatives.  They all stem from an original ancestor (maybe John Law?), as all primates supposedly come from weird little lemurs a gazillion years ago.  Maybe mitochondrial DNA would help.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:31 | 221686 JR
JR's picture

This proves they’ve got no one else they can trust with the books, that won’t tell what they see when they look at them.  It’s got to be a Goldman connection. 

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:34 | 221687 RoastingBankers
RoastingBankers's picture

too bad im not jewish

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:37 | 221688 suteibu
suteibu's picture

So Toyoda Aiko makes public apologies and humbles himself before the world.  His future is probably tenuous.  Meanwhile, Thain gives everyone the finger and resurfaces a year later in another position of trust.  There is something seriously wrong with our values.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:42 | 221741 Doug
Doug's picture

+100

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 00:45 | 221802 CombustibleAssets
CombustibleAssets's picture

+101

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:44 | 221696 mattco
mattco's picture

Awesome. So now another ex Goldman boy is in power. I wonder how much Goldman has to benefit from having an inside guy. Thain has no experience in commercial finance and will only be in power long enough to make sure all his buddies get paid and Obama's wishes are granted. There were about 200 people better qualified to run CIT and they picked this loser. Beyond fucked up if you ask me.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:49 | 221701 E pluribus unum
E pluribus unum's picture

His job is to get another $100B in loan guarantees from Timmy and Ben. This is a giant circle jerk

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:03 | 221711 BlackBeard
BlackBeard's picture

The 64 Trillion dollar question is:  But who is going to be the bukkake queen?

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:09 | 222037 E pluribus unum
E pluribus unum's picture

we are. Only little people pay

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:25 | 221727 JR
JR's picture

Goldman has all the bases covered.  It’s obvious Geithner is in the US Treasury, the G-7 and the G-20, Greece and world affairs to take care of Goldman. Bernanke’s in the Fed to take care of Goldman.  Ex-Goldmanite Dudley is in the NYFed to take care of Goldman.  Ad nauseam.

And did anyone say this is a reward for Thain?  Leaving a cushy job at Goldman--as head of the mortgage desk from 1985 to 1990 and president and co-chief operating officer from 1999 to 2004 and then moving on as Goldman’s CEO of the New York Stock Exchange form January 2004 to December 2007--and then to go to the sinking Merrrill Lynch as a good soldier, when he reportedly was a front runner then to head Citigroup.

This is a good example for the young Goldmans coming up. 

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 01:09 | 221816 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

just like coaching in the NFL

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 02:32 | 221884 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I'm sure Bob Nardelli was a runner-up. He's busy trying to find the next iconic American corporation he can derail into the pits of hell... and walk away with a golden parachute.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 22:48 | 221700 CB
CB's picture

omg. like wow. really.  (why am I shocked?)

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:03 | 221707 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Thain is good at looting. It's called talent. Don't be hatin'.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:03 | 221708 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

no GD way.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 07:34 | 221980 Crime of the Century
Crime of the Century's picture

GS way...

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:06 | 221714 RoastingBankers
RoastingBankers's picture

why did i get 2 degrees?

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:14 | 221719 Jesse Liversore
Jesse Liversore's picture

He beat out Dick Fuld in the 2nd interview

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:42 | 221742 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

He is the Rich Kotite of Wall Street

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 02:46 | 221894 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

I met him once and said , "Hey Rich Kotite. Former coach of the Jets. How are you."

His response (Gruffily), " And the Eagles."

Instant thoughts. Wow this guy is lord of doosh bags. He should be pretending he is Aristotle Onassis' long lost brother as opposed to reminding people of additional time in the NFL such as your 17 career reception in 5 years.

Sun, 02/07/2010 - 23:54 | 221757 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

It really is Groundhog Day.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 00:12 | 221772 chindit13
chindit13's picture

The USA is making fun of itself with this latest abomination.

In the 1970's we had The Peter Principle, where everyone eventually rises to their own level of incompetence.  Now we have the Thain Principle, aka Moral Hazard Personified, where the greater the failure the richer the reward.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 00:19 | 221777 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

so what does that say of what CIT really thinks his 170 million in shares will be worth in a year, two years time. SHORT!

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 00:46 | 221803 CombustibleAssets
CombustibleAssets's picture

He must have something on somebody.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 01:29 | 221845 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Sometimes I find the sarcasm in ZH's posts over the top. I enjoyed this one. I mean, it may not even *be* sarcastic.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 03:17 | 221911 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

bloomberg typo, they have changed it to $5.5 million shares.

still...thain, really...maybe dick fuld should be the next fannie mae head.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 05:17 | 221939 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

The numbers in the article are wrong. I still agree with all of the thain observations, however, he will be receiving $5.5 million in stock not 5.5 million shares.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 06:10 | 221955 A Man without Q...
A Man without Qualities's picture

The system is broken and we will do everything we can short of changing the people who were supposed to be in charge.  There once was a time when honorable people took responsibility for what happened under their watch.  Captains would go down with their ships, generals would commit suicide if their army was defeated, politicians would resign and devote themselves to noble causes.  If Thain had been banging ladyboys, he would have been publicly pilloried and cast out from society.  As it was, he was in charge when ML almost collapsed, (though the boys get nice bonuses out just before the world realized the true size of the losses.)

But as it is, maybe they are more concerned about what he might say if he knew he was out of the game, so they have decided to keep him inside the tent.  The stratification of American society, in which only certain people can be put in these positions, means that the arrogance and hubris that caused these problems, will cause them again.

 

When the Roman Empire started to decline, one of the reasons was the system allowed promotion of people on the grounds of relation or association.  This meant people were no longer measured by their talents and the great leaders from humble origins became a thing of the past....

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:29 | 222115 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

how about reading the press release. it's 5.5mm worth of shares not 5.5mm shares.

he saved ML shareholders. did a great job at NYSE.

poorly written piece.

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 12:01 | 222148 JR
JR's picture
Finally, John Thain has a place to lay his head and his $87,000 area rug. And perhaps for the rest of those $1.22 million décor items he bought to refurbish his former Merrill office with company money, including that pair of $87,000 matching chairs gathering dust, and perhaps the $68,000 18th Century credenza.  I doubt, though, that the four pair of $28,000 curtains will fit in at CIT.  And, of course, all the while the Obamas’ decorator was busy in 2008 doing up John’s office, John was busy at his $18,000 “George IV Desk” slashing thousands of ML jobs and exiting businesses to fix the ailing securities firm. 

And helping, I’m sure, Bernanke and Paulson set Ken Lewis up as the fall guy for all their investment crimes.  Perhaps as a token of their appreciation they could let Lewis have the $35,000 “commode on legs”… to remember them by.

Mon, 05/10/2010 - 01:07 | 340587 No More Bubbles
No More Bubbles's picture

I wonder how this crook is doing at CIT. How long before he completely destroys it? 

Not that it matters, success isn't important for the business, only for him personally by getting even richer for his imcompetence.

PATHETIC!

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