The Matriarch Of Patriarch

Peroxide blonde and self-proclaimed "rock star" PE queen Lynn Tilton, the name of whose Patriarch Partners can only be attributed to missing M buttons on the keyboard at time of incorporation, is wheeling and dealing, even as most of her competitors are trying to figure out how to present their worthless equity in 10x leveraged soon-to-be defaults into positive returns for their LPs. Her strategy: buy stuff that nobody wants, wave a magic wand, and bring it to life.

Tilton, best known for her investments in "boys' toys" companies such as MD helicopters, which she puts to good use cutting down substantially on her commuting time from Rumsen, NJ to NY, has long had a reputation as a distressed scavenger, most recently with companies such as American LaFrance and Net Versant.

However, Patriarch was recently derailed in its stalking horse bid to purchase long-suffering Polaroid in 363 auction. The propsed purchase price of $53 million was overbid in the last minute by the liquidator wrecking crew duo of Hilco and Gordon Brothers. As the only other interested party in the auction aside from Patriarch were liquidators, it is curious what the buxom blonde has in mind for Polaroid as a going concern, aside from taking many more pictures of herself like the one inset of course.

What is notable is that with the traditional PE model closed (18x leverage on CCU-like LBO deals may have some trouble coming back any time soon), PE staffers are forced to become distressed specialists and get familiar with the provisions of 363 auctions under bankruptcy law, meaning many late hours in the office, as IRR calculations become much more difficult to be goalseeked, compliments of 100% equity contributions (and of course, particularly if you work for Ms. Tilton, good luck if you hope on supplanting the long, boring hours in the office with something a little fun on the side). As everyone knows the only draws of PE relative to IB are having your own office, and a 5 pm departure time - take away one of the two and the PE industry will be next in line for bail outs.