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McDonalds Hires 62,000, Turns Away Over 938,000 Applicants For Minimum Wage, Part-Time Jobs

Tyler Durden's picture





 

This is what the US economy has been reduced to: McDonalds reports that as part of its employment event to hire 50,000 minimum wage, part-time (mostly) workers, subsequently raised to 62,000 it received a whopping 1 million applications, or a Tim Geithner jealousy inducing 6.2% hit rate (h/t X. Kurt. OSis). Alas, the US economy is now so pathetic that the bulk of the population will settle for anything. Literally anything. And the saddest part: over 938,000 applicants were turned away. Here's hoping to Burger King needs a few million janitors in the immediate future too. And yes, aside from reality, things in America are really recovering quite nicely.

From Bloomberg:

McDonald’s and its franchisees hired 62,000 people in the U.S. after receiving more than one million applications, the Oak Brook, Illinois-based company said today in an e-mailed statement. Previously, it said it planned to hire 50,000.

The April 19 national hiring day was the company’s first, said Danya Proud, a McDonald’s spokeswoman. She declined to disclose how many of the jobs were full- versus part-time. McDonald’s employed 400,000 workers worldwide at company-owned stores at the end of 2010, according to a company filing.

Earlier this month, McDonald’s said sales at stores open at least 13 months climbed 2.9 percent in the U.S. after it attracted more diners with items such as beverages and the Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus burger. The fast-food chain has about 14,000 stores in the U.S. and more than 18,000 abroad. About 80 percent of all McDonald’s stores are franchised.

 


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Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:40 | Link to Comment Roy Bush
Roy Bush's picture

Scary.  Remember when working at McDonalds was a shitty job?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:55 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Still is.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:10 | Link to Comment Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

At least there's always McDowell's....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGRiTpCji0I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8sgx9hw9Bk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoghPts44Ng&NR=1

 

...and if that doesn't work, one can always try for the next Idol series.  Sexual Chocolate is about due for a comeback.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHRERLEM2eE

...can't sing or dance?  Fear not, there's still hope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8zNsUTWsOc

 

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:28 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

What's next, lazyass rednecks are going to accept jobs picking fruits&veggies?

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:27 | Link to Comment sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Maybe even lazy ass hoodrats will get off the welfare gravy train and work for a living. Nah, will never happen.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:44 | Link to Comment old naughty
old naughty's picture

Most would, if there are jobs.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:49 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

WTF happened to the days when you would invent your own job by exploiting a gap in the market, reducing a cost of a service or identifying and fulfilling the needs of others?

The mere thought that I might not be good enough for McDonalds for christs' sake is enough to drive me to revolt...

Now, there must be some money in that...

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 04:44 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I understand that there are companies that hire people to go kill other people...

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 23:40 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

do you mean Corp USA (LLC)??

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 21:15 | Link to Comment AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

I'd rather see at least some of these paper pushers/movers do a real productive job. Even working at Mc, cleaning a bathroom or picking up veggies. Anything at least productive instead of them living off the expense of everyone else and "da goobermint"'s pocket too.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 01:37 | Link to Comment Michael
Michael's picture

If everyone who is unemployed applied online for unemployment benefits irregardless if they qualify or not, what would happen?

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:56 | Link to Comment Michael
Michael's picture

We should designate July 5th "Monarch Dictator Guillotine Day". This should be the day every monarch and dictator identified by the general public as the day every dictator and monarch will have their heads chopped off by a guillotine in the public square.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:28 | Link to Comment Campagnolo
Campagnolo's picture

won't happen, those lazy asses already got their brain and hands wasted watching TV and eating trash food. No wonder why inmigrant still come to America and make it and it's not inmigrant fault but your lazy asses you are talking about...right?

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 01:57 | Link to Comment boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Ah yes, the poor, disabled, disenfranchised, unemployed, nothing but a bunch of lazy no good leeches coming after your money.  People like teachers who have to go to college for 6 years so they can put up with your clown wannabe gangsta brats and pay off 30,000 in student loans just so the GOP can strip them of wages and the right to strike or even sit down at the bargaining table and talk.  In the meanwhile fat assed bankers and lawyers in the top 10% of incomes and wealth soak us for every last goddamned dime and acre and national treasure while paying less in taxes as a percent of what they own than you dumb fuckers who keep voting against your own self interest because you never know, one day you might hit the Powerball and when you do you sure don't want the government giving it to nasty old disabled vets and welfare cheats. 

No wonder America is toast!  But you might try to be kind to less fortunate people because they will rise up and when they do you might be one of the ones they remember as blaming them for their own poverty. 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 03:24 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

+1

Now McJobs has replaced that troublesome youth trying to earn chump change for higher education costs, and hired over 50 year old MBA's.

Truth of education indebtedness to the Govt read here on ZH.  Debtor's Prison. 

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 10:45 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

boiltherich:

And who allowed those fat assed bankers and lawyers to do what they please?

Everyone else, including those "poor, disabled, disenfranchised, unemployed".

The looters exist because of the moochers.

What you can't bring yourself to admit is that yours is the Morality of Death.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:05 | Link to Comment markmotive
markmotive's picture

This is just another symptom of America's economic depression.

http://www.planbeconomics.com/2011/04/28/mcdonalds-hires-62000-and-ameri...

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:22 | Link to Comment BrobamaReds
BrobamaReds's picture

I love Mickwy D's....all da dam fries you can eat and you can bang dem young chicks in da back room, ayit.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:08 | Link to Comment the mad hatter
the mad hatter's picture

DAZ RACIST!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:13 | Link to Comment chubbar
chubbar's picture

An if ya git tired of that, you can watch som sistas kickin the ass of some tranny trying to take a piss!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:57 | Link to Comment PuppetRepubl1c
PuppetRepubl1c's picture

"I love Mickwy D's....all da dam fries you can eat and you can bang dem young chicks in da back room, ayit."

 

you make it sound awesome, i am tempted to pull an American Beauty and quit my job just so i can bang some hood rat chicks!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:59 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Wrap dat jimmy, yo, dem bitches ain't protected and you be payin' the rest yer life.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:57 | Link to Comment Clycntct
Clycntct's picture

 Thanks for clearing up where dem nuggets come from.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:32 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Look....RECOVERY!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:58 | Link to Comment Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Green Fries Bitchez!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 22:55 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

More like a giant PR stunt to pay back the favor of the Obamacare wavier.  62K part timers in, probably 20K full timers with health insurance out.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:53 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Cynic, they'd never do that...

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:38 | Link to Comment Blotsky
Blotsky's picture

Yeah, and the worst part is when Obama decided to say that America would just have to get used to being a service sector economy. He definitely meant what he said.

Atleast we know it wont last long.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:51 | Link to Comment Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

I am looking to hire a non druggie guy that can do some lifting and be able to take instruction on operating a CNC control, and I do pay more than McD. There is as much upward movement in this as they will apply themselves.

 Nah, it doesn't involve high tech joystick gaming skills, so the job will go unfilled.

 Manufacturing is dying or dead in USA because there are nearly none that can come out of a adolescence and high school with a functioning brain. They have zero interest in real problem solving. Why bother with them?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:55 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Yeah but they can play computer games like you wouldn't believe...

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 01:59 | Link to Comment Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

If you have a local community college around you, chances are good there's an individual that would love to fill the void in your workforce. Find the head of the mechanical engineering dept and let them know.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 03:25 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

They have colleges in North Dakota?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:54 | Link to Comment astartes09
astartes09's picture

Yeah I worked there at 16.  Now I remember why I quit.  That place was a shit hole.  I was never destined for customer service.

 

And yes, we did spit in the food.  Constantly.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:22 | Link to Comment ALANBEEKMAN
ALANBEEKMAN's picture

I worked at one at 16 as well, and though we didn't spit on the burgers, just the grill, we did walk on the cheese with our sneaks and left tread marks.

 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:41 | Link to Comment Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture

 

At least you added something edible to what can be called carton.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:37 | Link to Comment TorchFire
TorchFire's picture

And our esteemed government no doubt counts the assembly of a Big Mac as contributing to our manufacturing sector's growth during these times of plenty!

 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:03 | Link to Comment boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Sadly it does count fast food as manufacturing.  Not durable goods but still. 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 03:29 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

If we could just export to China, in just a few years we would be able to follow up with the medical industry.  Trade deficit solved.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:27 | Link to Comment I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

With the way the Econ is going the shitty jobs become luxury to prolong the unemployment checks rather than using it all up. having a job is no longer the perk, keeping it is the perk and I see more layoffs especially after todays GDP numbers.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:31 | Link to Comment Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

And now the job is considered a life line for everybody.  We are in a depression, also I remember Coming to America Mcdowells that was funny.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Prostitution is going to be the fastest growing sector this decade... time to work on my pimp game.

 

Gator don't play no shit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfyqka2TC48

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkJjWOYvyTY&NR=1

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 03:32 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

Waiting on my silver eagles to buy 5 pieces for 5 pieces.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:47 | Link to Comment sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

I knew the stimulus would work. 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 22:49 | Link to Comment bigelkhorn
bigelkhorn's picture

macdonalds might be crappy, but there ares still lots of ways to make money!!! Just think like the elite. You will be fine. 

I subscribe to the guy from australia and his FFT economic newsletter at http://www.forecastfortomorrow.com  that guy has called many big events before they have happend, including the stock market crash in 2008 and the current financial collapse of the US. (currently happening) I found him from a friend last year, and he has some important work.

His oil calls are insane, and I have been making good money with them. He is well worth a look, if you want to keep two steps ahead of the sheeple out there.

I am worried about my financial future. Is anyone else nervous out there?

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:13 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ever drink till you black out? You're in a bar, you're drinking you black out...you're at another bar, you're drinking, you black out...you at McDonald's, been working there three years...still haven't made assistant manager...you wann quit but you're banging that girl on the FryOLater...sure, they say she's retarded, but those titties ain't retarded!! - Dave Atwell, Skanks for the Memories

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 14:58 | Link to Comment uhb
uhb's picture

wow. didn't know you US guys are *that* fvcked up. When i was in the US in 1983, your country was definitely in a way better shape... no wonder, with RR as president ;)

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:40 | Link to Comment SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

Outsourcing, dollar debasement, corporate/money-center bank welfare, such a roaring success.  Ugh.  You can hear the girders creaking.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:14 | Link to Comment anonnn
anonnn's picture

Preparing our food.

Cleaning out toilets.

Caring for our infants.

Low skilled jobs?... worthy of paupers? 

 

 

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:19 | Link to Comment SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

The pay will leave you a pauper.  Now, "62,000 MACHINISTS Hired...." Haven't seen that headline.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:16 | Link to Comment rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

....how about just "62,000 machinists fully employed....in the U.S."?????

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:13 | Link to Comment Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I'm a machinist and I'm my own boss. Most machine shops have closed up. China has taken over. The only reason I can stay in business is I specialize in repair work. I'm expensive buy hay, where else are you going to go? Some people will drop by and get pissed off and walk out when I tell them how much it's going to cost. They always come back 2 or 3 days later. Anyway I am the last of a dieing breed. These new CNC "machine operators" could not setup and machine parts on a manual mill or lathe if their life depended on it.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:24 | Link to Comment SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

In my area, we had dozens of small machine shops, they are closing one by one.  TBTB, and certain Alex P. Keaton/Gordon Gekko wannabees, think that the iron vise of ChiCom dumping/regulation used as a tool to further monopoly (insane tax, other reg codes designed to smother small business)/dollar debasement (higher energy, savings % rates in the toilet, smothering small-business capital accumulation) is just swell.  Well bully for them, but we know better.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:56 | Link to Comment Slewburger
Slewburger's picture

I put myself through college on Bridgeport mills and a little NC work. The CAM guys were good too just in a different way, but you're right couldn't do a manual part to save a life.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:52 | Link to Comment Whats that smell
Whats that smell's picture

Yea and I'm writing this on a typewriter, f'ing 'puters!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 21:09 | Link to Comment ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

How's this, "McDonald's hires 62,000 McChinists, their payroll taxes to go towards paying off the McChinese"

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:28 | Link to Comment -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

What a world it is when "caring for our infants" is smushed in with flipping burgers and cleaning toilets as a low-skill job.

How the upper echelon must chuckle over their success in convincing people that both parents simply must work in order to purchase all of the baubles and shiny things their children need.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:45 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Careful now, you're at risk of hinting that human beings might have some value.  That doesn't go over well around here.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:03 | Link to Comment DosZap
DosZap's picture

No, no shiny baubles, it's called eat,sleep,and a roof.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:52 | Link to Comment ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

Good post, Michelle.  Sadly, I don't think there are very many of us left who understand what need really means.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 01:50 | Link to Comment WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

"It took us just one meeting to discover that we had become beggars – rotten, whining, sniveling beggars, all of us, because no man could claim his pay as his rightful earning, he had no rights and no earnings, his work didn’t belong to him, it belonged to ‘the family’, and they owed him nothing in return, and the only claim he had on them was his ‘need’ – so he had to beg in public for relief from his needs, like any lousy moocher, listing all his troubles and miseries, down to his patched drawers and his wife’s head colds, hoping that ‘the family’ would throw him the alms. He had to claim miseries, because it’s miseries, not work, that had become the coin of the realm – so it turned into a contest between six thousand panhandlers, each claiming that his need was worse than his brother’s. How else could it be done? Do you care to guess what happened, what sort of men kept quiet, feeling shame, and what sort got away with the jackpot?"

...

"Nobody can divide a factory’s income among thousands of people, without some sort of a gauge to measure people’s value. Her gauge was bootlicking. Selfless? In her father’s time, all of his money wouldn’t have given him a chance to speak to his lousiest wiper and get away with it, as she spoke to our best skilled workers and their wives. She had pale eyes that looked fishy, cold and dead. And if you ever want to see pure evil, you should have seen the way her eyes glinted when she watched some man who’d talked back to her once and who’d just heard his name on the list of those getting nothing above basic pittance. And when you saw it, you saw the real motive of any person who’s ever preached the slogan: ‘From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.’"

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:41 | Link to Comment MonsterZero
MonsterZero's picture

Would love to see how many were college graduates along with their debt load.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:54 | Link to Comment RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

McDonald's only hires applicants with post-graduate degrees. Those with a Bachelors need to apply at Sonic, and must be able to roller skate while balancing food on a tray.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:52 | Link to Comment I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Yes, and now here's the next step in McD's corporate profit plan scheme.  They will begin charging an "application fee" for each job application submitted.  Even $10 time 1 MM applicants = another $10 million in revenues and gee won't that be great for stocks.  If there is some pesky law that can't be changed then they will just say the application fee is for admission into Hamburger University (McD "College"). 

Don't believe there is a Hamburger University?  Here it is on McD's website:  http://www.aboutmcdonalds.com/mcd/careers/hamburger_university/our_students.html 

The quarter after that they will begin shifting the burden of training to the McD incoming "students" at Hamburger U. by charging the new students tuition for the cost of their McD education, for which I'm sure Sallie Mae would love to make the loans.  After "graduation" the new student employee with their proper burger-flipping and fry-frying skills will find a comfy minimum wage slave job and wages will be automatically garnished by Sallie Mae as part of the student loan repayment plan agreement.

Somehow this sickeningly does not seem far-fetched.   

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:39 | Link to Comment BORT
BORT's picture

How many passed the drug screen?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:02 | Link to Comment cossack55
cossack55's picture

All hires were currently taking Prozac/xanax and thought they were applying for Federal Free Burger Program.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:09 | Link to Comment ursus.peracto
ursus.peracto's picture

The ones that weren't hired.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:04 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

about two, I think...

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:39 | Link to Comment trav7777
trav7777's picture

Jeezus fking Christ...that is a worse acceptance rate than HARVARD

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Roy Bush
Roy Bush's picture

ha ha ha! Watch that acceptance rate go up!  Pay me 61,444 per year and I'll teach kids a bunch of bullshit.  I'd certainly be more on the mark than Larry Summers.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:45 | Link to Comment Texas Gunslinger
Texas Gunslinger's picture

Please refrain from using the Lord's name in vain. 

Thank you in advance for your understanding. 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:07 | Link to Comment boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Christ on a crutch dude, didn't they ever tell you to hide your light under a bushel?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:43 | Link to Comment fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

938,000!  Holy Hooverville Batman!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:46 | Link to Comment Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby's picture

+ 1 LMAOF

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:06 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

that's a typo, yes?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:42 | Link to Comment Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

It's the McOnomy© Stupid.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment bank buster
bank buster's picture

+10

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:52 | Link to Comment Out9922
Out9922's picture

Ronald McDonald is getting abused

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juRYnnAMG9w

 

 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 04:57 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Zowie!  So that's what the "special sauce" is! :>D

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:17 | Link to Comment rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

..."McObomanomy"

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 03:40 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

..."McBamaJob"

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:48 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

Saved or created.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment Hacksaw
Hacksaw's picture

Kind of shoots the "lazy bastards think they are too good to take a McJob" theory right in the ass.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 21:40 | Link to Comment Captain Benny
Captain Benny's picture

BINGO!

Even one of the worst jobs available is turning skilled labor away.  Double dip recession?  Nope, its a a double dip depression that ends with a currency crisis.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:46 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

We are proud of our long-standing commitment to a workforce that is diverse. We believe in developing and maintaining a diverse workforce that will strengthen the McDonald's system. Diversity at McDonald's is understanding, recognizing and valuing the differences that make each...um...errr...person unique.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:49 | Link to Comment Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

+1, Mayor McCheese B!tchez!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:35 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Yeah, it's so great to be one of the new hires, and I'm thrilled to be working again, but jeebus hasn't anyone noticed our assistant manager has a fucking BURGER for a HEAD?!?  And what the fuck is up with that fat guy's skin condition?  Please tell me it isn't contagious!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:46 | Link to Comment Judge Holden
Judge Holden's picture

brilliant

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:43 | Link to Comment gwar5
gwar5's picture

It's official. We're a Banana Republic.

62,000 more Americans can afford WalMart again and get 1/2 their daily caloric intake as part of their comp package.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:04 | Link to Comment Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I kind of feel sorry for those Wal-Mart greeters, but only a bit.  The lost glaze seen in their elderly eyes as they have to waste away their "golden" years greeting other mindless zombies and acting as the last line of defense for shoplifting.  I say that I kind of feel sorry for them because those greeters are a big portion of a generation that believed the Social Security lies of yore. 

Let that be a lesson for you left/right tards. Whenever government talks about "fixed" income, they mean to fix you from having any drive or desire for freedom.  Enjoy your paper wealth fucktards. 

http://consumerist.com/2010/11/woman-sends-100-year-old-walmart-greeter-to-hospital-over-receipt-dispute.html 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:06 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Soylent Green, FTW!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:11 | Link to Comment cxl9
cxl9's picture

My favorite part of that movie is the way that the pretty girl is included with the apartment along with the rest of the furniture. Well, and the bit where the crowds of people are scooped up with front-loaders and dumped into a trash truck. Great stuff.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:42 | Link to Comment Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Fuckin' jam was like he found a jar of the most expensive caviar in the world.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:32 | Link to Comment OldTrooper
OldTrooper's picture

+ 478-11-0078

(Don't bother.  I made it up.)

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:17 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

WELCOME TO THE THIRD WORLD, BITCHEZ WHEREZ WE HAVE NO RETIREMENT! DIE IN THE TRACES, MULES!!

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 01:05 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

DPost

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:19 | Link to Comment island
island's picture

Isn't Ms. Obamination focused on a campaign against childhood obesity?  Seems to me Michelle's and Barack's (via his little ol' Bernokio) efforts are diametrically opposed to each other.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Even worse, JPM has fully corrupted IAU.

Take a look.  JPM became the sole custodian of IAU a few months back.  They are also a COMEX vault.  Now they refuse to report IAU inventories.

http://www.cmegroup.com/rulebook/files/S_5701.pdf

>>>Effective Monday, Apr. 18, 2011, the COMEX Gold Stock Report will be reformatted, and will no longer provide the inventory breakdown for the iShares COMEX Gold Trust. However, the report will continue to provide the Registered and Eligible inventory levels as provided by the Exchange Licensed Depositories.

In September 2010, the iShares COMEX Gold Trust was renamed "iShares Gold Trust" and the London PM Fixing Price became the basis for calculation of its Net Asset Value (NAV). Since the iShares Gold Trust no longer references the Exchange in either name or in calculation of the NAV, we removed this portion of our Gold Metal Depository Statistics report. This does not change the daily reporting of all eligible and registered inventory levels by Exchange Licensed Depositories.<<<

 

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:47 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

There was a Derivatives Article here... in which I think that it was decided if you could in some way engage and participate with JP Morgue that you would then me able to Black Out all info regarding that transaction.

 

JP Morgan is the Curtain for the Wizard of Oz!

 

I will see if I can find it and post it..

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

It is pretty clear that IAU is now just a paper derivative liability of JPM.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:53 | Link to Comment JW n FL
Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:13 | Link to Comment chubbar
chubbar's picture

Ishares gold trust. I shares with the rest of the TBTF bankers and the rest of you can get fucked!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:43 | Link to Comment SDRII
SDRII's picture

Apparently MCD has low standards judging by the employee performances in thes recent beatdowns

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:46 | Link to Comment X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture

BTFD... and supersize it bitchez!!!

 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:44 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

McDonalds Wants to hire 50,000 People! These 2 people are not getting hired! Warning Video is Graphic http://goo.gl/t0CVz

 

I wanna say that credit for this video goes to the Miami B of A Video person too.. any way thanks for whomever posted it before! credit belongs to other not me for the find!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 21:06 | Link to Comment ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

I don't know how the Hell you can live there, Bud.  All I can say is, "Good luck".  Drop me a note when you decide to get the Hell away from it all.  Or you can look into some of these: http://www.survivalrealty.com/

Nothing in those that gets quite as cold as where I'm at. :)

 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:00 | Link to Comment WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

Driver locked up; passenger talks to news

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:44 | Link to Comment Captain Planet
Captain Planet's picture

You must be from a major city. When i was in Wash. St. over the winter, it was the best job a (white) teenager could get.

But for real, my degree clad friends can't find a fuckin jo worth anything more than peanuts for the week.

Luckily, I have EU citizenship.

Euro, bitchezzzzzzz!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:49 | Link to Comment willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Count your blessings, CP

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:50 | Link to Comment boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

CP, I got my Irish passport in 2003 because I too see the day coming when a neutral island nation in the Atlantic with few resources and no standing army might come in handy.  My Dad never did much for me when he was alive but he was from Galway and so I can now live and work anywhere in the EU without a visa. 

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:45 | Link to Comment boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

I went back to to college in 1993 full time (actually 16 semester hours) for a finance degree while working 40 hours per week in the day, it was damned hard, once the bank sent my new debit card to my mother in California and I went 5 days without food because the post office lost the damned overnight envelope my mom sent it to Ohio in.  I slept on a futon mattress on the floor for 3 1/2 years, had no car, and never really had a day off the whole time. 

It can be done if you are willing to dig deeper and believe in what you can do, but not everyone has my abilities either, some are just not cut out for advanced degrees or have the maturity or drive to do it, that does not make them bad people and all people deserve a living wage and dignity.  There are poor people who scam the system, or who are too lazy to really work to improve life, or who somehow convince themselves that drugs are the answer, and I feel sorry for them because life goes by fast and it will be too late when they finally clue in, but they are also the minority, most people have integrity and ethics and would give you the shirt off their backs or their last cigarettes, I would, the fact that they are poor has a lot more to do with policy bought and paid for by those that own us.  It really pisses me off when toads like some who post here blame those who are not winning the struggle, we are not animals and this is not Darwinian jungle survival, you owe a duty to care for your fellow humans and if you don't it is you who will pay in the end. 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Segestan
Segestan's picture

Oh.. I heard American's where to fat and lazy to apply for jobs only immigrant's would do!!.......WTF?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:58 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

It doesn't say 62,000 LEGAL people were hired.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 22:53 | Link to Comment Segestan
Segestan's picture

It says 938,000 Applicants..... even if they are ALL illegals , a small percentage.  Geesh at least TRY to stay on topic.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:47 | Link to Comment Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

Weren't burger artists reclassified as manufacturing jobs some time ago?

See, who says America no longer manufactures anything!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:43 | Link to Comment Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Whatever happened to plastic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvMFm5nKeUc&feature=share

And very sad story but I'm glad ZH is putting it out there - no one else is.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment TomJoad
TomJoad's picture

Jusus. Fucking. Christ.

 

Poke us with a fork.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment redpill
redpill's picture

Fries w/that?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:51 | Link to Comment AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

aside from reality, things in America are really recovering quite nicely.

Indeed. Might as well look at the stock market as the nation's secondary "misery index". It used to reflect the true state of the economy but, as everyone who reads ZH knows, hasn't been connected to reality in a long time.

And can someone please go tell Jim Cramer to F himself? I know he's the mouth piece for The Squid, but his endorsement of "stock recovery is the answer to our misery" is complete trash. He doesn't even feel bad about telling such lies to a gullible public... then again, they do suck out your soul when employed at Goldman.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:56 | Link to Comment Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Cramer used to live in his car. Lieing is clearly a good career path.

And anyone who listens to him usually ends up living Cramer's old lifestyle.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

62,000 hired! Better than expected! Buying opportunity! Oh wait, does this mean QE3 is dead? Sell Sell Sell!!!!!

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

I guess this was the change you can believe in... 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:45 | Link to Comment Robslob
Robslob's picture

Too bad McDonalds didn't conduct that hiring spree like a POMO auction.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

Wow.  It just gets richer each day.  So the whole recovery thing is looking rather...Bernankish.  I'm sure the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street will have a positive spin on it. 

Perhaps, the employee discount on whoppers?  

Can't wait for the next BLS update.  Improvement!

Good grief.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:19 | Link to Comment MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

You must mean "Quarter Pounders", or in France a "Royale" (due to the metric system) ;-) 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:00 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

My bad...meant Big Macs.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment Mercury
Mercury's picture

The key word links say it all:

McDonalds, Reality, Tim Geithner

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 19:50 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

Got it...strong dollar menu.

Fri, 04/29/2011 - 02:01 | Link to Comment WaterWings
WaterWings's picture

Call up Dog the Bounty Hunter

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment Thadeous
Thadeous's picture

They will be so scared to lose their jobs, they might actually get my order right.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:52 | Link to Comment mynhair
mynhair's picture

Good luck with that.  Reading is a learned ability.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:53 | Link to Comment plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

938,000 , Damn.. Looks like those " Gringo" Taxpayers Tyler mentioned are becoming scarce.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:46 | Link to Comment tmosley
tmosley's picture

Hmmm, does this mean the number of unemployed will go up by almost a million, as people who had given up on jobs tried out for McDonalds?

Holy shit.  Don't lose your jobs, anyone.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:49 | Link to Comment mynhair
mynhair's picture

Think of the revenue possibility in dumpsters!  Need 2 per store, just to manage that alone.  SNAP accepted.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:51 | Link to Comment willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

A once great & proud nation brought to its knees....very sad

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:48 | Link to Comment bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Would you like to supersize your hope and change for an extra 39 cents?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:59 | Link to Comment willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

BD, The AUDACITY of...wait...really only 39 cents...

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:01 | Link to Comment bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Did I really say 39 cents? I meant 15 trillion dollars.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:11 | Link to Comment willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Do you accept Yuan?

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:51 | Link to Comment digalert
digalert's picture

Remember "yah but those are hamburger flipper jobs"?

Now we have Barama and McDonalds is the only one hiring. These become instant good jobs, with proof that Barama is creating jobs. hah

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:52 | Link to Comment ReallySparky
ReallySparky's picture

OT, I am on the phone right now trying to process a claim with my home owners insurance for hail damage.  I am talking to someone from India who can barely speak english.  While holding I log onto see this and think, well at least if I go to Mc Donalds in the near future someone might speak english.  I am not trying to be racist or derogitory, it just pisses me off to call an American Company and have to negotiate a language barrier when so many American's are unemployed. 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 16:56 | Link to Comment JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

Senate Republicans blocked a Democratic Bill to End tax Breaks for Moving U.S. Jobs Offshore! http://goo.gl/6qhnK 

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:12 | Link to Comment ReallySparky
ReallySparky's picture

You know I don't think more government is the answer.  I think the answer is to walk with my feet and change insurance companies or change my buying patterns whenever I encounter foreign customer service.  Maybe this should become a nationwide movement.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:23 | Link to Comment Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Really,

It's really bad on both sides, trust me.

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/on-outsourcing-and-its-ills/

ORI

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 22:45 | Link to Comment i-dog
i-dog's picture

Great blog article, ORI ... So very true. (I've lived all over the planet as an expat and have seen all sides of what you describe).

Though, IMO, the problem was/is not the exporting of jobs -- which gave the developing economies a chance to move up the food chain (from agriculture and resource extraction into manufacturing then tertiary industry) -- but the failure to replace those less-skilled jobs by fostering entrepreneurial small business to fill niches in the global economy.

Big companies (and big governments) don't create jobs, they destroy them ... by mergers and acquisitions and the resulting rationalisations that follow. Small business is the engine of employment growth and the western governments have completely strangled small business and diversity through taxation, regulation ... and protection of big political contributors.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 17:38 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Good lucking finding domestic customer service from any company that's profitable.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 20:17 | Link to Comment Truthiness
Truthiness's picture

Apple

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:05 | Link to Comment technovelist
technovelist's picture

Top-level commercial technical support for US customers of Microsoft is US-based.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 23:23 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Both good points, and the US market hasn't embraced either of those businesses because of price.

Big businesses which can afford MS paid-support and affluent folks who can afford Apple are the only ones.  But just as most people don't want to pay $1000 for a laptop, they don't want to pay $300 for support of a crashed Exchange server.

The market knows, yo.

Thu, 04/28/2011 - 18:09 | Link to Comment Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

I've been bitching about off-shore customer service for years but in some cases there is no alternative. I would vote with my wallet but for certain services (like electric, gas)  - not available. 

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