Meet America's 51st (Broke) State

Tyler Durden's picture

It is only fitting that a few days after South Sudan became the newest independent country to join the roster of IMF and World Bank "modernization and industrialization" targets, another Southern version of something should break apart, although some may be surprised that this latest secession is not somewhere in the middle of Africa, but in America's own insolvent back yard. Meet Southern California. "Accusing Sacramento of pillaging local governments to feed its runaway spending and left-wing policies, a Riverside County politician is proposing a solution: He wants 13 mostly inland, conservative counties to break away to form a separate state of "South California.'' Supervisor Jeff Stone, a Republican pharmacist from Temecula, called California an "ungovernable'' financial catastrophe from which businesses are fleeing and where taxpayers are being crushed by the burden of caring for welfare recipients and illegal immigrants." Ah yes, the heart of prosperity that is the Inland Empire, known for such great achievements as Hell's Angels, the most ridiculous excesses of the housing bubble, Del Taco, and... that's pretty much it. This sounds like yet another Swiss Watch plan.

This is what the 51st state would look like:

From SF Gate:

CBS Los Angeles reports:

"Stone said in a statement late Thursday that Riverside, Imperial, San Diego, Orange, San Bernardino, Kings, Kern, Fresno, Tulare, Inyo, Madera, Mariposa and Mono counties should form the new state of South California."

The new state would therefore encompass almost half of California's landmass, leaving out the strip of Southern California counties along the coast including Los Angeles, Ventura and Santa Barbara counties.

This is not the first time California has dealt with plans for secession, but until now most of the proposals have come from the rural counties of northern California where counties have tended to get left behind with state funding.

In fact, in 1941, a campaign to create the new state of Jefferson from several counties in northern California and southern Oregon was on the brink of success. The counties, frustrated from their lack of adequate roads and funding put together the movement, and Jefferson looked to be on track to be the 49th state (Alaska and Hawaii weren't on board yet).

By December, a "Proclamation of Independence" had been circulated and the residents had even elected a governor. But, on the week the Jefferson statehood movement was to make its national debut, the attacks at Pearl Harbor quashed all plans as residents went to work for the war effort.

Since then, every few years these and other northern counties have mounted several more secession attempts, but none have come quite so close to success as the Jefferson movement.

LA Times adds:

A spokesman for Gov. Jerry Brown,
a Democrat, called Stone's proposal a laughable political stunt, saying
the Riverside County supervisors should be more concerned about closing
that county's expected $130-million revenue shortfall in the next
budget year and possible cutbacks to public safety.

"It's a supremely ridiculous waste of everybody's time," said spokesman
Gil Duran. "If you want to live in a Republican state with very
conservative right-wing laws, then there's a place called Arizona.''

Then again, all politicians do is focus on supremely ridiculous things that are wastes of everybody's time.

But, yes, this will make a great diversion for the country over the next week while the world burns. Unless, of course, Osama is killed for third or fourth time.

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Cheesy Bastard's picture

Why is North Mexico all colored in red and blue like that?

SparkySC's picture

Exactly, the new State called Bitchin' Baja California should include the Baja California region, if they can agree for USA to take it over. LOL

Come on Mexico,,,, gift us this. Please. The Coast line there makes Orange County and Santa Monica look like shit holes.

juangrande's picture

why would you want to ruin the Baja 

Rodent Freikorps's picture

No shit.

Mexico would suck if all the Nanny Staters had anything to say on ruling it.

boricuadigm-shift's picture

The 51st State will go to PR.  Tyler don't fuck around with that or we will unleash "el Chupacabra" on you... South California can be #52 after us bitches!

BTW... Don't bring this topic to the island.  You will probably end up knifed and raped!


SoNH80's picture

Buenas noches, cargado al Vallejo de Merrimack, Senor.  Mi espanol es una mescla de mierda, pero sin duda, puedo decir que esta mas beuno en este estrado de los montanas de Appalachia.  Salsa es una musica mas interesante que el tejano.

Cpl Hicks's picture

Please click on "2" for English, amigo.

SoNH80's picture

Another white rum sunset.....

SoNH80's picture

Another white rum sunset.....

laughing_swordfish's picture

"Por Espanol, oprima numero Uno. Por Ingles, oprima numero dos."

Problem Is's picture

There is nothing hotter than Puerto Rican chicks...

You're in, boricuadigm-shift... You're in...

Welcome to USA state hood Puerto Rico!

G-R-U-N-T's picture

Stone is right. The Assembly is a joke.

monoloco's picture

I'd rather take my chances with the cartels than the nanny state.

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Yeah, at least the cartels are up front about it

Silver Dreamer's picture

I see little difference between what we have and drug cartels.  Both have monopolies on force, are in business for profit and power, and excel at terrorism.

darkstar7646's picture

I think you'll get your chance.

But remember that the "nanny state" is probably keeping alive somewhere between 20-40% of the entire United States population.

If you really believe that, be VERY well-armed and soon.

Rodent Freikorps's picture

The cartels might be meaner than a snake, but at least they are sane.

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Terrorism is quite sane, or people would have stopped doing it.

It is mother fucking evil, but quite sane.

Hi Ho Silver's picture

Well, at least we agree it's mother fucking evil.

I'd rather have a neighbor state ran by nannies than by the cartels but that isn't my case unfortunately.

If SHTF they'll bring Mad Max Más allá de ThunderDomo to our side of the border.


darkstar7646's picture

Oh yeah. I truly think, if TSHTF, you'll probably get a split of California, with the "La Raza" types (of whom I see a ton out here!) handing conservative Cali to Mexico -- and then, here come the drug cartels.

Then, a rioting LA comes into play, and look out!

darkstar7646's picture

Agreed. As you've already seen (since TSHHTF on smaller levels already in cities like Chicago), the unruly mobs are beginning to form.

At least with an organized structure, you might be able to survive (and even thrive!) dealing with them.

If a mob comes to your door to ransack, rape, pillage and plunder, you're probably dead as it is.

eureka's picture

Rite'O Cheesy ! Love it! U got it! No Way LA is gonna go to the North.

This is Latino Territory, Man. Make that map all Green & White & Red on the coast to all the Way To San Jose (included).

Cheesy Bastard's picture

It won't be green and white and red.  It will flow red, though, when the zetas, latin kings, 18th street gang, la raza nation, latin eagels, et al get to decidin' who owns what.

eureka's picture

For now the Cauc'Asians have the best property - along of course with the chosen ones.

eureka's picture

For now the Cauc'Asians have the best property - along of course with the chosen ones.

Eternal Student's picture

Those pudknockers take a back seat to the SEIU. Please get your facts straight. ;)

darkstar7646's picture

That's essentially it. You'll basically have today's street gangs being tomorrow's tribal overlords.

And I do think that day is coming frighteningly soon.

Frankly, I'm surprised it hasn't been already here in California for two years or so, but they've been able to paper it over just enough.

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

Expect an Aztlan style Gaza prison camp to become what was once LA. The military will cut off the few roads and hwys out of the LA basin and the populace will feed on each other until they have no fight left. Those that make it through the wire and south toward Camp Pendleton will become practice fodder in the artillery range (this already occurs), while those that go East will dry up like human beef jerky. 

darkstar7646's picture

Perhaps then LA becomes a permanent Western penal colony, where those either unfit to work or too violent go to get killed off by the millions?

superflyguy's picture

there's an easy fix for California and N.Mexico.

Just knock down the Hoover Dam, done, done.

SparkySC's picture

Right on, we'd have great futbol aka soccer, college football, and beach BBQ's all the way down to Cabo baby!  

Give me some street tacos and cold cerveza and think they'd control all of the tequila growing areas of the world!



Robot Traders Mom's picture

Yeah, they do such good job with what they have.

oldman's picture


Maybe the red designates the mestizos and the blue los indios

seems about right, no?

pooplagrande's picture

I like how this dippyshnitz got enough blue up north to at least get some water rights. HEY SOCAL TARDS...GUESS WHAT?!? You are a desert that acts like a rain break yourself off and see how you survive off of thirsty dirt and Hollywood. The only thing you have that I am interested in is the valley...where all the porn stars live. WINNING!

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Redirect the Colorado and SoCal dies.

km4's picture

They're trying to emulate North Dakota and South Dakota ;)

SWRichmond's picture

There's a Consitutional prohibition on creating a new state from territory within the boundaries of an existing state:

New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State;

Of course, the Great Destroyer Lincoln ignored this when certain mountainous counties of Virginia wanted to stay in the Union and illegally invade the Confederacy.  Lincoln was more than happy to oblige, having already shredded the Constitution by invading Virginia.  Most of you don't know this, but Virginia's Constitutional ratification resolution includes reserving the right to leave.  As Virginia was originally accepted to the Union under these preconditions, she had the right to leave anytime she chose, and the traitor Lincoln had no right to invade her.

"We, the delegates of the people of Virginia, duly elected in pursuance of a recommendation from the General Assembly, and now met in Convention, having fully and freely investigated and discussed the proceeding of the federal Convention, and being prepared, as well as the most mature deliberation hath enabled us, to decide thereon, Do, in the name and in behalf of the people of Virginia, declare and make known, that the powers granted under the Constitution, being derived from the people of the United States, be resumed by them whensoever the same shah be perverted to their injury or oppression, and that every power, not granted thereby, remains with them, and at their will; that, therefore, no right, of any denomination, can be cancelled, abridged, restrained, or modified, by the Congress, by the Senate or House of Representatives, acting in any capacity, by the President, or any department or officer of the United States, except in those instances in which power is given by the Constitution for those purposes; and that, among other essential rights, the liberty of conscience and of the press cannot be cancelled, abridged, restrained, or modified, by any authority of the United States.

West Virginia can suck my dick.  So can Lincoln-philes.

West Virginia is an unconstitutional state.  Anyway, if Southern California wants to become a reality, first we must have a civil war., and then southern cali must promise to side with the destroyers and ignore the Constitution.  Since they're apparently conservatives in those southern counties, they'd no doubt be OK with that.


Dr. No's picture

I support the desire for free people to govern themselves, regardless of what a piece of paper thousands of miles away might say.

A_MacLaren's picture

You should quote the entirety of the Article IV, Section 3, if you are going to quote it.

Section 3 - New States

New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

The Consent of the Legislature(s) of the State(s) concerned as well as of the Congress being a key phrase.  I point this out as a concerned resident of the would-be State of Jefferson. 

mayhem_korner's picture

What's this Constitution thing y'all are yappin' about.  This is Obama country!

nmewn's picture

"This is Obama country!"

I, err ahh, would like to, errr uhhh, say, uh thanks for that.

We, ahhh err, have learned a great deal, errr, about it, ahhh, over these, uh, last few years ;-) 

eureka's picture

mayhem - it seems, from public discourse here and elsewhere, this is everybody against everybody country - is it not so?

Rodent Freikorps's picture

It seems the plan.

Why else would the public schools have been teaching hate for capitalism, and white males for so many years?

eureka's picture

C'mon, don't blame public schools and don't be paranoid. Everybody loves capitalism and white males. Aren't you watching Hollywood movies anymore? They're all about how motivated young white males kick ass for the empire and the corporations and get the pretty girl as reward and get to pop babies in the suburbs and have all this cool stuff that the oursourced US corporations bring home to the US consumer tribe from China.

You couldn't have missed that, could you?

Of course it is true that US corporations have laid off 30 Million males of whatever colors the past generation. It is also true that US corporations don't really need a whole lot of males of any color, precisely because they have outsourced all manufacturing to China.

So when will US males, white and otherwise, realize that the Disneyland fairytales they have been told about capitalism left out important details about capitalism's intrinsic itch to outsource, chase cheap labor, create cartels and monopolies - and sacrifice its own national laborers - of any gender and color - in its ungodly and inhuman lust for money ???

Anyone who experiences paranoia and or anger, needs to identify the real source of their frustrations. In this case, I for one, place the blame squarely on global capitalism and its elite orchestrators, because logically, power resides at the top, not the bottom - and, consequently, blaming fellow working/middle class people, who equally try to just survive, is in my opinion misplaced.

Who manipulates capitalism into something destructive, something it ideally should not be?

Why capitalists, of course.

Ckierst1's picture

Ah capitalism, I hardly knew ya!

Silver Dreamer's picture

Ahh, utopia dreams are great, huh?

nmewn's picture

Now it is, time to reap the whirlwind.

mayhem_korner's picture

Save for the Bible itself, the Constitution is the greatest document ever abandoned by mankind in its history.

I should keep my /sarc/ on for those less familiar with my antics.

In happier news, just had a nice delivery of gold maples this morning.  Will shine them up and merge with the rest.  :D