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"We must remind Morts that we share a common enemy: them."
Goldman Sachs enemies with the government? I don't think so. Not in the same way that the Am.Ppl. are enemies with the government, anyway. Idea #3, while funny, is totally inaccurate.
although it's possible that its satirical nature convoluted itself in my head and I misinterpreted the intent.
Yes, you missed it - the Morts are their own worst enemy.
Ya but if you put 2 or more morts in some situation that has enough inaduecies of information or money or whatever. You can always get them to focus the blame on whats right in front of them instead of whats far off and really causing it.
hey, fool me twice, very clever...although Bush really didn't fool anyone
But where is the original? Seems pulled from BB. Thank god ZH cached it for eternity :)
Swimming with the fishes. How curious.
Black Helicopters were dispatched to Bloomberg and Michael Lewis is likely being water-boarded as we speak :)
Wrong. It is still on my Bloomberg. You all are beyond paranoid (not the healthy kind).
I would love to see what you all go through when you get home late at night -- looking for the boogey man in every dark corner. Make sure you check under the bed - twice.
it was goners for some time after ZH posted the link. Just because someone notices a news link is gone doesn't make them unhealthy paranoids. I thought it was terribly funny that a great satire of gods & morts with Blankfein & GS placed in their appropriate roles was pulled from BB.
Yes sir Colonel Flag (who, like you, tells people he is with the DIA just so they will think he is with the CIA, when really he is with the CIC.....)
It was not pulled. You all need to know where to look on Bloomberg.......sad paranoia coupled with hubris in thinking the rest of the world is watching every comment on ZH. Wow.
This used to be the purpose of the Fourth Estate. Now, CNBS just craps on it everyday.
Larry Summers won't believe it.
The Bloomberg link doesn't work. Has it been taken down?
I'm not getting how this came about. Does this trader still work for Goldman? If so, he must have massive blackmail material primed and ready to think he can walk away from this. Otherwise, it seems like an automatic pink slip at the very least, if not a lawsuit or a Vegas-style basement beating in the subterranean server room of 85 Broad. Or maybe a "suicide" like the chief of Davos security ...
Ah, I get it. The part about him being a Goldman employee is apparently part of the satire.
Wow! I just looked up eponymous in the dictionary and there you were.
damn, harsh. ;-)
Was the article taken down from Bloomberg???
Can I grovel now?
More unadulterated goodness, in case you missed it:
This one may be funnier! Once you understand how anything under 50 Billion rounds to Zero, the whole thing makes so much sense.
God, how did I miss this brilliance the first time around?
"Let’s assume AIG transferred $12,880,560,250.34 of taxpayer money to Goldman Sachs. A Goldman outsider, asked to round this number, might call it $12,880,560,250.00. That’s not how we look at it; at Goldman we always round to the nearest $50 billion, so anything less than $25 billion rounds to zero."
Ah, thanks for politely setting me straight bro!
Yes, more enlightenment on rounding hump backs, shall we go play cue ball anyone?
Evidently the article went the way of the Do Do Bird. I know the average ZHer will be shocked by this. Thanks Tyler for preserving it's splendor. Michael Lewis is a gem.
What about those of us who comprehend everything that they do at GS, see pretty much right through them, and still hate them for it? You know, because it's like kinda immoral...
Kinda immoral?? How about firing squad immoral? I think that's a better description.
GS morality and populaim is viewed by Main Street as immorality and elitism. I am sure the inverse is also true.
Silence pleebian! Your feeble neural receptors are no match for my rocket surgery quantum flux business major bio-processor of a brain. No mortal can work compounding interest equations on spreadsheet excel like us bankers.
Pleeb: "But that just requires high school level algebra. You're not even using calculus or differential equations!"
Uh... Bah! You have to pay for talent of my magnitude! Now return to whatever menial task you were assigned at birth.
ahh, the true essence of comedy: the truth presented tragically to the point of tears.
question what were they thinking with Abby Joseph Cohen?
AJC is actually a body that can be morphed into. Suitably unattractive, devoid of any gender that can be identified with, the ultimate "It" is simply a robotized carcass that any exec at GS can step into for public appearances.
it was tough to look at, an "it" strategist.
//We need only harness two more of his many irrational traits: overconfidence, plus a willingness to ignore the odds -- as evidenced by everything from his interest in the Lotto, to his belief in what he calls “love.”//
Looks like Michael's marriage may be on the rocks, which is too bad--I think I remember him having a real hottie wife.
Lloyd to Bloomberg: "We are a huge custy of your bloomberg terminals, play nice and take the article down"
Wait - the Devil has to pee?
I have just one question.
Does the Inside of the GS building really look like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?
That is the word I am hearing from other Morts.
To: Michael Lewis
From: Lloyd B.
I just read your memo. Brilliant. Such contributions will not be forgotten. We are very pro bono and will remember when the time arrives to hand out good stuff. As for that last idea of yours – “We must remind Morts that we share a common enemy: them.” This is genius. Yes, turn the Morts towards Washington by suggesting that we and the Morts share a common enemy in Washington. All I can say is here, with this, you rise into the high, clear, sunlit uplands of genius. I love it. I am laughing so hard I better find a urinal before I wet my pants. Yes, yes, use the sarcasm of Morts and Goldman Sacks being a community of interest to suggest that the Morts and Washington have a community of interest. Oh man, this is rich. Drive them right into the holding pens and slaughter houses of inside-the-beltway, where we can change the rules, and fleece them not a few million dollars at a go, but for billions and billions. “Holding pen and slaughter house” – too tame, too tame, man, not an image anywhere near your genius. Try this: herd the krill into the jaws of bubble blowing whales. No, no, still doesn’t work. Still too tame. Hell, when the krill get swept into the jaws of the pod, the poor krill are probably saying to themselves that they are like human creatures being herded to Washington to be concentrated and prepared for the waiting jaws of Goldman Sacks. Keep up the good work, LB
yes and surprisiginly the Oompa Loompas at 85 Broad make up the majority of their prop traders. Their stubby little hot dog fingers are the cause of most erroneous prints.
errr... “We must remind Morts that we share a common enemy:them[selves].1"? Kinda more sensible? Even more brilliant? if glaringly subtle?
I like to think of them more like patron saints than roman gods. That way, crucifixion is easier to visualize
For you Davey:
and here is a different idea:
Add insult to injury - use counterfeit c-notes.
UR, baby, don't you know? We are all counterfeiters now!! Money is a simulacra which hides the truth that there is no real economy any more.
Go ahead babe, print all you like! Load those bad boy traps up. If only the entire US Treasury could be used as bait in the world's largest sting operation (big rat trap)... at least then the money would be worth something.
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