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More Details On What Government Shut Down Would Look Like

Tyler Durden's picture

  • *DJ Obama Admin Says IRS Would Shut Down If Budget Not Passed
  • *DJ Obama Admin Says National Parks, Smithsonian Would Close
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Cherry Blossom Festival Wouldn't Happen If Budget Not Passed
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Roughly 800,000 Govt Employees Would Be Affected By Shutdown
  • *DJ Obama Admin: EPA Permitting Would Stop If Budget Not Passed
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Social Security Beneficiaries Would Continue To Receive Payments
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Electronic Tax Refunds, Collections Would Continue
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Military, Law Enforcement Will Continue To Function
  • *DJ Obama Admin: Military Personnel Would Earn Paychecks, But Not Receive Them Immediately
  • *DJ Obama Admin: White House Staffing Would Be Lower During Shutdown
  • *ZH: POMO will continue come rain or snow: Russell 36,000 will not be denied, US bankruptcy notwithstanding

h/t LDT


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Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:02 | 1141555 TruthInSunshine
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Sounds good to many of us (Paul Krugman weeps in background).

"I am Jack's sinking realization that they lied to the people all these years; government relies on the people, and not vice-versa."

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:04 | 1141568 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

I agree, but eventually they will start it up again.  In 95-96 it was shut for 21 and they paid those Gov't drones retroactively for all 21 days! 

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:05 | 1141575 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

I resent any remarks about my sanity.  Print and Spend $$$ endlessly!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:08 | 1141598 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Paul Krugman, I read your proposed solution to the sovereign debt crises, and I have to say, printing an additional amount of money equivalent to particular debt levels will not solve the problem.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:01 | 1141903 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

This is all Bush's fault haha LMFAO...

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:17 | 1142560 rich_wicks
rich_wicks's picture

This is all Bush's fault haha LMFAO...

Well, he didn't do anything to help - he doubled the national debt in his 2 terms.

I don't see why people bitch about Obama so much, after all we still have the 2 wars, Guantanamo is still open, the Patriot Act is still law, warrantless wiretapping is still going on, Homeland Security is still in existence and the bailouts continue.

Bush started all those and Obama continuing all of them.

Why do Republicans hate a Democratic president that does everything that Bush did?

Oh, because he's black.

But wait - why do Democrats love a Democratic president that does everything Bush did?

Oh, because he's black...


Americans - you have the government deserve, you stupid pinheads.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:25 | 1142595 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Not because he's black, you nincompoop.  It's because of the (D) next to his name.

The party not in power always does a great job of identifying the evil being put in place by the ruling party, but once they get in, they always do the same thing.  It's maddening that the people can't see what is going on.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:47 | 1142695 pods
pods's picture

Left, right, left, right.

Right into the meatgrinder!


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 17:23 | 1142803 Zardinuk
Zardinuk's picture

Hey, I've been looking for a country to escape to where things are better than they are in the US. Do you know of any place? Surely you must be living in one of these places...

Oh, I see. You just wanted to take a stab at Americans and call us all racists. Nevermind.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 17:44 | 1142846 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

shit's coming and has been coming from the 2-headed monster.  I just always wanted to say "It's Bush's fault" just to see whose panties would get tied up in a bunch LMFAO

and for the record, I've never voted for either of these ass-wipes because I learnt a long time ago only blood on the steps of capitol hill will get shit changed...


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:49 | 1141851 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

You resemble that remark!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:28 | 1142015 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Your Avatar nearly cost we a widescreen monitor and $3.59 in 9mm ammo.

Then I found the sarcasm, whew.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 20:35 | 1143512 Reptil
Reptil's picture

Ah those dricky reflexes again.




A wabbit? Where?!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:08 | 1141600 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Of course, back in 95-96, there were still some laws to enforce transparency and accountability.  Once those pesky laws were removed, the "mark to fantasy" three card monty really took off and we had "prosperity" in our service economy.  Okay, it just sounds stupid saying it, now we are fucked.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 17:48 | 1142890 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

shut Government down?

that's the best fuking idea ever ..or at least since Govt started!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 21:43 | 1143736 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

no shit.  why does this seem too good to be true?  because tyler is a fuking asshole, that's why!!!  screw it!  i'm in.  so is tyler.  i can tell!!!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:07 | 1141586 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Deal!  I will take this any day!

(Campaign prep: The GOP has to rub O's nose in another Slick Willie era degradation.)

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:23 | 1141992 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

CNBC - yes, CNBC - is running a headline that 2011 is quite possibly going to see a bigger financial crisis than we had in 2008.

I realize CNBsC is akin to the Romper Room of financial discussion....but....

CNBC: Could 2011 Be Worse Than 2008? Don't Rule It Out - Patrick Allen - 12 hours ago
2011 is beginning to look very like 2008 before the collapse of Lehman Brothers—except the numbers involved are much bigger this time around.

WTF Bitchez!!!!!!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 20:02 | 1143389 Cleanclog
Cleanclog's picture

Excerpts from Geithner's letter and some responses:

"In addition, defaulting on legal obligations of the United States would lead to sharply higher interest rates and borrowing costs, (as our current interest rates are artificially held low for the benefit of risk taking highly leveraged banks and financial institutions) 

declining home values (already have declined substantially and are continuing as Fed and Treasury conspire to devalue the dollar and thus reduce individual Americans buying power) 

and reduced retirement savings(actually, American “savers”, pensioners,  and investors in fixed income securities could benefit from higher interest rates)

 for Americans. Default would cause a financial crisis potentially more severe than the crisis from which we are only now starting to recover."

Selling the Nation’s gold, for example, would undercut confidence in the United States both here and abroad". Why? Isn’t that one reason the Nation holds onto gold and other “liquid” assets?  Perhaps investors would have greater confidence in the US commitment to service and honor its debt without going further into debt. 

More . . .

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:12 | 1141642 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

The IRS would shut down?! Oh the humanity!


Is that a promise?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:20 | 1141695 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Big mistake by Obama Adim to tout this as a "problem".  If I actually thought the IRS would shut down, I would be the first to the streets demading gov shut down!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:53 | 1141860 redpill
redpill's picture

What do you want to bet a "shut down" IRS will still manage to find a way to cash your check after you file taxes, but magically be unable to send out refunds to those that should get them.

This is a tactic they've been playing in California for years. Any time the bureaucrats get threatened with serious cuts, they try to pick the most visible and immediately-felt services to cut first, in an utter and complete betrayal to the duties of their office.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:59 | 1141887 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

Taxes? Bwaaahahahahaa......Fuck em'.  These guys ain't gettin' shit from me this year or the next.  Black market / 100% cash / barter transactions here we come.


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:58 | 1142142 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Standard politics.  When faced with even having to cut a small amount, politicians will state the world will be a more dangerous place since they need to layoff policeman.  All in attempt to win public support, even though the politicians know darn well they arent cutting police.  or maybe they would to prove a point.... they are evil i tell ya.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 18:18 | 1143034 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

I can't believe we havent' thought of this earlier! Brilliant. 

It's like when you were a kid in school, and the school was forced to close for a day because of weather.  What a tragedy!!

Shut her down!!!!!!


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 21:39 | 1143701 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Please Br'er Bear, DO NOT throw me into that briar patch!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:13 | 1141963 covert
covert's picture

the last time, I barely noticed it. interesting to note: there is NOTHING to protect the innocent from the guilty or vice/versa during a shutdown. anarchy can be the most splended thing!


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:00 | 1141557 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

sounds wonderful - break from evil

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:00 | 1141558 tmosley
tmosley's picture

So...what's the problem?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141627 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

But, but ... the Cherry Blossom Festival?! Nooooo....


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:28 | 1141734 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture



oooooh kay.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1142430 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

So, if I understand the cherry blossom thing correctly, the government employees who put all the cherry blossoms on the trees will be laid off? Or is it the government employees who light up the sky during the day so we can see the cherry blossoms? Or the ones who focus our eyeballs for us so we can see the cherry blossoms? I am so confused.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 22:03 | 1143787 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

lol! +++X3!!!  all of the above!  obviously!  ask tyler!  hahaha!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:18 | 1141667 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

The Smithsonian... the fact they mention it...



Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:28 | 1141729 Ese Pinche
Ese Pinche's picture

+QE3  the priorities are hilarious..

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:00 | 1142154 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Imagine the revenue they could generate if they contracted out to "American Pickers" or any of the other reality storage garage TV shows?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:25 | 1141700 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture


  • *DJ Obama Admin: Roughly 800,000 Govt Employees Would Be Affected By Shutdown
  • *DJ Obama Admin: White House Staffing Would Be Lower During Shutdown
Music to taxpayers' ears. Unfortunately, the orchestra will never assemble. Of this we can be certain: Bawlin' John Boehner hasn't the cojones to face down The One.  Uncle will be open for business.


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:44 | 1141828 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Would they fire Michelle's hair staff? Probably takes a team of five to keep her looking human.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:50 | 1141844 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 5


I'm keeping an eye out for your comments!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:50 | 1141852 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Thank you kind sir. You're a gentleman and a scholar. Assuming of course that you're a man! LOL!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:14 | 1141966 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Yeah, a guy.  You are too kind, if you knew me you would not say that kind of stuff...

At least I am not a goverrnment worker!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:30 | 1142027 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

There are no such things as government workers, as there is no work* to be done.

(* where work is defined as providing a good or service that someone would freely pay for.)

Employees, perhaps, but workers, never.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:03 | 1142176 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Great distinction - I've always said that I'm just an employee (not government!) who shows up for my job Monday through Friday and do the best I can until my boss tells me that I no longer have to show up.


Not a worker, an employee. A worker to me is self-employed or in a small partnership where one is actually producing something to sell to others; basically their own boss.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:03 | 1141902 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

+ Frederic Fekkai.

The First Lady's grooming staff is undoubtably budgeted within some deeply-buried non-discrectionary DoD line item. Off-limits. The 'do stays.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:48 | 1142088 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Definitely in a black-ops budget. Area 51 stuff. Integrating aliens into humanity type a thing.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:07 | 1142194 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

It is difficult to make a Wookie look semi-human, you know.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:19 | 1142248 Infinite QE
Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:51 | 1142710 pods
pods's picture

Goonie goo goo!

"Your wife's a Bigfoot isn't she Gus?"


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 22:38 | 1143866 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

area 51 stuff!  great, QE!  slewie is a great michelle fan, and thinks she is related to thom jefferson!

they'll just handle from the $1 Bil. in campaign contibutions, i'm sure. she' prob nearly to 30  attendants, by now.  as long as they tell her how great prez. milk dud is while attending her, and do a little "research" on the side, it's all paid for from the mountains of tribute due him, especially due to holder and the fed prosecutors & FBI doing less than zero for the connected "fasionista's"!   i smell some really important campaign work being done by her staffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff...  so, pay em!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:00 | 1141559 slow_roast
slow_roast's picture

Bullish for riot gear and machetes bitchez.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:14 | 1141639 A_MacLaren
A_MacLaren's picture

I'd like a bull spread option on Torches and Pitchforks.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 19:36 | 1143310 Cui Bono
Cui Bono's picture

WTF dude, Its fine to make fun of her hair and all, but when you gotta start talkin' about doing it with her you have gone too far! CB

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:01 | 1141562 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

90% of the population would be ok with a gov't shutdown.


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:20 | 1141697 Practical Irrat...
Practical Irrationality's picture

90% of the population would be ok with a gov't shutdown

I would disagree considering that a large % of the population is wholly reliant on the gov't for basic subsistence. 

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:29 | 1142032 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Last I read, over 50% of the population receives a government check of some sort.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 22:53 | 1143918 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

not according to this plan, dude!!! 

if you're not abot to read, understand, and appreciate what tf tyler is doing, here, just go do something else, pullleeeasse!

with debbie downer, ok?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:03 | 1141564 D.M.
D.M.'s picture

Martial Law, bitchez.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:31 | 1141741 magpie
magpie's picture

Shutdowns and E.O.s uh save money because legislative and judicative branches are closed ?

Certainly amazed at this demonstration of Yankee ingenuity, hyperinflation, imperialism, conmen rulers, been there done that, but this is truly original.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:06 | 1141920 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

This is what martial law looks like:

"Cherry Blossom Festival Wouldn't Happen If Budget Not Passed"

No festival?  Time to get real, people.


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:03 | 1141565 Dagny Taggart
Dagny Taggart's picture

By executive order: the cherry trees shall not bloom.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:10 | 1141629 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Hahahaha. All of the photos will hereby not develop properly.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:12 | 1141631 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Funny you say that.  In Georgia, the Atlanta city government has passed an ordinance declaring "that all the rain water falling in city limits now belongs to them" and may be used only for their watershed.  Good luck enforcing that one fucknuts!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:14 | 1141654 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Is that to discourage people from installing rainwater catchment systems? There seems to be a definite trend in preventing people from taking matters into their own hands... and punishing those that do. What they don't realize is that when shit really falls apart, none of these laws will be enforceable.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:25 | 1141719 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, that is exactly it.  The southeast, and Atltanta in particular, is facing a massive shortfall in fresh water.  Atlanta does not have the reserves to support the businesses and population that they have now, much less grow.

I just looked, and the ordinance has not actually passed yet, but is being discussed.  A smart citizen pointed out that the city was already charging it's citizens for runoff based on how much concrete or roof area you had.  The citizen argued that if the city was laying claim to the water, then the city could also pay for the runoff.  Governments are all past the point of diminishing returns and are now simply full of uneducated retards.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:34 | 1141754 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

LOP,  that is utterly crazy, but not angers me to think a city can declare that they own the rain.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:36 | 1142052 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Meanwhile, in my neck of the woods, we get so much rain that run-off is the major problem to be defeated by decree, as it has been deemed damaging to the creeks (never mind that is what formed them).

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:34 | 1141757 Dagny Taggart
Dagny Taggart's picture

Calling dibs on all the rainwater is like imminent domaining the moon.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:44 | 1141804 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The IMF & World Bank tried to nationalize the water, including rain water, using firms like Bechtel, years ago, in Bolivia, due to debts owed and not paid.

It led to riots between Bovilian Military/Police and civilians, with casualties and deaths of civilians and even children bystanders, and they eventually backed off.

They literally tried to make it illegal to take water from a puddle.

FRONTLINE/WORLD . Bolivia - Leasing the Rain


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:51 | 1141849 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The ultimate goal of the central planners - "our survival is mandatory, yours is illegal."

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:09 | 1141937 Clampit
Clampit's picture

Yep, well put. That's the inherent fallacy of sovereignty for the common good; resource scarcity dictates that forced sterility would best serve the "common good."

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:20 | 1141988 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

You can bet that behind this proposal is some business interest that is pushing for it under the guise of conservation, but stands to benefit from delivering water, and all the associated charges.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 22:59 | 1143954 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

taggart!  where i live, w/in the city limits, there are a lot of good wells, but it is against the law to use them for dwelling units/drinking.  you can use them for irrigation and to hose down the driveway and wash the radioactive fallout off the roofs (rooves?), tho!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:08 | 1141916 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Grow a lawn on your roof!

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:35 | 1142626 Armchair Bear
Armchair Bear's picture

You mean vegetable garden - lawns are pretty worthless, save for croquet, even on the ground...

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:07 | 1141917 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

LOL.. go down to city hall and piss in the lobby... when they arrest you, tell 'em you're just being a good citizen and returning their property.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 21:42 | 1143730 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, you're sayin' the law is enforceable now??

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:57 | 1141882 JohnG
JohnG's picture

This sort of shit is what finally made me move about 200 miles from Atlanta.  Bunch of real fucking idiots down here.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:30 | 1141742 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

King Canute once told the tide not to rise.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:02 | 1141566 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Roughly 800,000 Govt Employees Would Be Affected By Shutdown

I suppose it'd be a start.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:06 | 1141594 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Does this include Obama, Timmy and the Bernank?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:23 | 1141708 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The Bernank gets paid by the private owners of the Fed, by suitcase, in dark places and late at night.


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:50 | 1141855 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Hhmm,  could you find out the time and location please?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:24 | 1142004 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

Within 300 meters is close enough...

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:13 | 1141634 nevadan
nevadan's picture

Non essential government  functions will be halted.

Question: Why do we need non-essential government functions?

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:21 | 1141689 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

so the meaningless people also get some servicing for their taxdollars.

It can't all go to the banks and the billionaires who never paid a dollar in their lives.



Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:25 | 1141717 nevadan
nevadan's picture

I'm tired of being serviced.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:52 | 1141867 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:20 | 1141975 billhilly
billhilly's picture

Well, living way out here in the wilderness (satellite internet), alone, that's ALL I've seen dreaming about this past winter...getting serviced! 

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:37 | 1142058 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

"I ain't been serviced in a dog's age !"




Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:43 | 1142071 chistletoe
chistletoe's picture

while I enjoy you all's sarcasm, I have to play devil's advocate.

One non-essential function, which will be interrupted here,

is the collection and  processing of all raw meteorological data.

Every, repeat every, weather forecasting service in the country

gets their raw data from the government.


could be interesting if a hurricane comes up and nobody knows its coming ...


Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:00 | 1142162 ShittyLipsMcCra...
ShittyLipsMcCrapStain's picture

Yeah....those April hurricanes can be treacherous....



Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:02 | 1142493 nevadan
nevadan's picture

May be there should be some redefinition of what is essential.  How's this for starters:

IN---Weather info

OUT--- Vacations.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:02 | 1141567 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

Not the Cherry Blossom Festival!!!

What's next? No Cowboy poetry?

The horror.

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:18 | 1141679 caboy316
caboy316's picture

I was looking forward to it. :(

Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:02 | 1141569 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture
  • *ZH: POMO will continue come rain or snow: Russell 36,000 will not be denied, US bankruptcy not withstanding
  • It's all about priorities and the Ponzi. Everything else depends upon the underlying lying.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:03 | 1141570 jelyfish
    jelyfish's picture


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:03 | 1141571 alexwest
    alexwest's picture

    there 're only about 2 mln federal workers...
    not big deal...


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:35 | 1142050 CPL
    CPL's picture

    plus ten million contractors...50 million people supplying...14 countries...blah blah blah...


    800k is a drop in the bucket of a very big swamp.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:05 | 1141572 NOTW777
    NOTW777's picture

    what about obama vacations?

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:05 | 1141587 Rodent Freikorps
    Rodent Freikorps's picture

    He's in NYC, smokin and jokin with Al Sharpton today.


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:19 | 1141672 Golden monkey
    Golden monkey's picture

     "Obama Admin Says National Parks will close"

    Is it true that we can see a unique black monkey in the Yellowstone park?

    Will banana Ben keep feeding him? 

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:28 | 1141931 Zina
    Zina's picture

    There is no such thing as a black monkey. All monkeys are white. Just shave their fur, and you will see their skin is white.



    By the way, there is nothing more white than a rhesus monkey:

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1142509 Golden monkey
    Golden monkey's picture

    I really think your first monkey would be a better prime minister for Quebec than the one we got now.

    Maybe the second one is too young, though...

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:45 | 1142675 Clampit
    Clampit's picture

    And speaking of Yellowstone, how the hell do you shutdown a national park? That would take more personnel than just leaving it open ... will trespassers be arrested during this? (For their own protection from anarchy of course.)

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:05 | 1141576 alien-IQ
    alien-IQ's picture

    "IRS Would Shut Down"


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:56 | 1141881 DoChenRollingBearing
    DoChenRollingBearing's picture

    Yeah, we wish.

    The Evil Empire will not be stopped even when "shut down", LOL...

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:06 | 1141577 LeBalance
    LeBalance's picture

    Like the Federal Reserve the IRS is ex-US.  In fact it is incorporated in Puerto Rico.

    See: for more information.

    So *Mr* Obama lies *once* again, or shall we say "continuously."

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:55 | 1141885 DoChenRollingBearing
    DoChenRollingBearing's picture

    Another lie?  Oh, the horror.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 16:48 | 1142689 goldsaver
    goldsaver's picture

    Sorry, but no. As much as I wanted it to be true. The document you link is for the "Internal Revenue Tax and Audit Service". Looking at the body of the document, this is a tax return preparation entity no different than H&R Block or any of the other Tax preparation firms.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:04 | 1141579 NOTW777
    NOTW777's picture

    harwood shilling for dems now - its all the fault of republicans

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:04 | 1141580 Cleanclog
    Cleanclog's picture

    Won't really shut down.  Congress is too ensconced in spending no matter what they "say".

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:04 | 1141582 Savonarola
    Savonarola's picture

    I would pay money to see the gummint shut down.

    Shut it down.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141616 aheady
    aheady's picture

    You already have.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 15:40 | 1142383 Savonarola
    Savonarola's picture

    I mean shut permanent.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:05 | 1141585 Cole Younger
    Cole Younger's picture

    OMG......we can't live without the "Cherry Blossom Festival"

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:07 | 1141589 Bruno the Bear
    Bruno the Bear's picture

    "So what really happens when the government is shuttered? Not much. During the 21-day shutdown, less than 15 percent of the federal workforce was actually idled.

    National-security and public-safety operations continue. So do benefit payments, medical care, tax collection, border protection, prison patrol, crime investigation, and air traffic control. The Postal Service and the Federal Reserve will both be open for business because they generate their own revenues.

    Government museums close; people can’t apply for passports; tourism takes a hit. But the Office of Management and Budget, which set the basic rules for shutdowns back in 1981, stipulates that agencies continue to conduct essential activities “to protect life and property.”

    Any employee deemed “essential”--from Transportation Security Administration agents to Social Security check writers--is considered exempt from the Antideficiency Act, which prohibits the acceptance of voluntary services and forbids federal officials to assign funds before an appropriations measure has been enacted. Nonessential employees, on the other hand, cannot report to work. In the first shutdown in 1995, which lasted five days, some 800,000 workers were furloughed; the second, longer closure resulted in 284,000 being furloughed, according to the Congressional Research Service."


    Even with no money, you can't shut the government down anymore.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:06 | 1141591 shushup
    shushup's picture

    OK by me. Shut it down!

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:06 | 1141593 Alcoholic Nativ...
    Alcoholic Native American's picture

    Let's do it!

    Then hit the internet kill switch after the government gets shut down.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 20:44 | 1143533 Reptil
    Reptil's picture

    That's a bit of the light switch ain't it?

    You bump into things that never bothered you before, and just forgettabout finding the damn switch again.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:06 | 1141596 DonnieD
    DonnieD's picture

    "DJ Obama"....paging WilliamBanzai...

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:08 | 1141612 slaughterer
    slaughterer's picture

    DJ Obama : I got two turntables and a microphone!

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:13 | 1141645 aheady
    aheady's picture

    bottle and cans and just clap your hands

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:36 | 1142048 weinerdog43
    weinerdog43's picture

    Got two turntables and a microphone

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:04 | 1141905 Golden monkey
    Golden monkey's picture

    You mean Obama too profit from long stocks positions initiated on March 09??


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:53 | 1141859 Golden monkey
    Golden monkey's picture

    Banzai seems much smarter to me.

    I don't think they could be friends at this point.

    Take it easy : inflation will bless you too.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141604 slaughterer
    slaughterer's picture

    I will send 100 oz of silver to the Fed if they shut the government down! 

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:14 | 1141638 Gold 36000
    Gold 36000's picture

    I will too. and I will double my contribution if they will default on a treasury obligation.  If no one is willing to lend the usa money then we have to live within our means.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:17 | 1141970 Cognitive Dissonance
    Cognitive Dissonance's picture

    If they actually do shut down the government for more than a few days, triggering all kinds of defaults, have no worry about you giving them your silver. They'll be by to pick it up against your will.

    We keep dancing around this subject folks. How desperate could the government become and what are they willing to do when they get that desperate? And I'm not talking shutdown but when, not if, the Ponzi comes apart at the seams.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:07 | 1141605 mussaw81
    mussaw81's picture

    The Cherry Blossom festival is a 2 week festival that ends on Saturday - so it's too late to cancel that as it is pretty much already done.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141619 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Well I suppose it was the weight of the threat they were going for. My God, no Cherry Blossom Festival? Just the idea of it is so horrible as to cause all americans to beg to be kornholed 24/7 by the FED.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141606 LawsofPhysics
    LawsofPhysics's picture

    Shut it down already, crash the system and let compensation find its way back to people who are actually worth a shit.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:12 | 1141630 Gold 36000
    Gold 36000's picture

    amen brother.


    My capital is mostly in pms and overseas where capital is appreciated.  It is amazing how california is more socialist than china now.  It sure shows in their growth prospects.

    I will invest my capital only when I can get a good return.  If enough of us go on capital strike we can turn this country around.  Take it back from the parasites.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:14 | 1141652 LawsofPhysics
    LawsofPhysics's picture

    We already are.  It is the only thing supporting PMs right now.  The banksters are getting their shorts blown off.  FYI-California is already Asia, has been for some time.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:59 | 1141895 DoChenRollingBearing
    DoChenRollingBearing's picture

    Talent and capital go where they are welcome.

    Especially capital.

    Maybe the time has come to spend a boatload of money to buy a containerload of bearings for our business there in Peru...

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:22 | 1141987 Virginian
    Virginian's picture

    I'm heading to Galt's Gulch - with my capital!

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:07 | 1141607 European American
    European American's picture

    Change and Hope we can believe in. 



    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141608 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    So....the govt could shut down due to insolvency...unless they agree to spend much more money? Oh yes it all makes so much sense and all. 

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:01 | 1141901 Duuude
    Duuude's picture

    "So....the govt could shut down due to insolvency...unless they agree to spend much more money? Oh yes it all makes so much sense and all."


    Mahvelous !

    Bellysnort !

    Sounds like a Pogo quote !


    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141610 TruthInSunshine
    TruthInSunshine's picture

    Jamie Dimon wants to know if POMO really stays open. He has a gun to 401(k)s and is threatening to use it. He wants a written guarantee from Obama & The Bernank.

    He's really freaking out.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:10 | 1141613 Gold 36000
    Gold 36000's picture

    shut it down..


    It is time to get serious about killing socialism.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:48 | 1142099 thedrickster
    thedrickster's picture


    Time to go rhetorically Contra on their asses.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141617 bania
    bania's picture

    this all looks quite reasonable, especially the IRS shutting down part.  recommend they keep this shut down in place for a few months and see how things go and then re-evaluate.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:10 | 1141632 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    This is the only good idea the govt has had in the last 3 years, shut it all down, fire yourselves, and just go away. Bye.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 14:00 | 1141900 DoChenRollingBearing
    DoChenRollingBearing's picture

    + 1

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:13 | 1141637 Dr. Engali
    Dr. Engali's picture

    Neither party would let government shut down because they fear people will find out the truth....we can survive without them.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141621 Dr. Engali
    Dr. Engali's picture

    Shut her down damn it shut her down.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:25 | 1141722 Gold 36000
    Gold 36000's picture

    amen brother!  It is time for war.  Are republicans going to be pussies or stick to their convictions?  I will support and vote in the primary a challenger to anyone who dares to compromise with Reid.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141622 Hook Line and S...
    Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

    *DJ Obama Admin Says IRS Would Shut Down If Budget Not Passed

    Great, they already gave me back the interest free loan I provided, but in devalued currency. It is already in the solid Ag form, and making up for its debasement quickly.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:09 | 1141625 digalert
    digalert's picture

    It will look like a holiday...I love holdays.

    Wed, 04/06/2011 - 13:11 | 1141626 slaughterer
    slaughterer's picture

    Shut down the NYU trainees at the POMO desks!  They can stay in their dorms and get high on cheap weed from 9th Street and 1st Avenue.

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