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Tyler Durden's picture


click click click

C:\FRBNY\Sackster\Market Manipulation\CloseAtHOD.exe /routethrucitadel

Push Any Key to Execute?

[any key pushed]

And...window dressing achieved.


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Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:06 | 1326283 UGrev
UGrev's picture

I LOL'd.. with a little bit of dribble from my nose as I laughed so hard, iced-tea escaped from my nostrils..

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:09 | 1326286 HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

Hilarious. The poor leveraged bears who were still in the market, hoping to "make their year"  on a logic correction for the end of QE2 just got slaughtered like hogs. 

The Pigmen once again achieved the unthinkable. 

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:14 | 1326327 Platinum_Investor
Platinum_Investor's picture

Are there seriously bears around anymore?  Everyone knows there is unlimited stimulus

given.  It's only printing of more money, simple no pain no fuss.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:18 | 1326368 HarryWanqer
HarryWanqer's picture

Yes, but they are de-clawed, sedated, and recently stampeded.  DOW 36,000!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:25 | 1326390 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

...while the stock bulls are just outright stupid. DOW 3000!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:42 | 1326471 Mec-sick-o
Mec-sick-o's picture


It will be both!  It will screw those leveraged on both sides.

Can you follow the ball?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:42 | 1326489 Mec-sick-o
Mec-sick-o's picture

DOH! (dup. post)

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:52 | 1326518 superman07
superman07's picture

The DOW will be one moldy piece of bread and a scap of cheese in real value.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:52 | 1326703 gerd
gerd's picture

You better be fully levered in stocks to try to keep up with the depreciation in your house and currency.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 21:49 | 1327291 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Hey I've got an idea. 

Go long XYZ:USD pair with serious leverage. Like 200:1.

Since it's a faite compli to hit the shitter (the dollar), every few days cover your position and buy a hunk of gold. 

Yeah, I know. It's not fair. You're trading paper and getting literally free money (gold) out of it. 

I have a name for this trade: Quantitative Dis-easing. 

The other half of the pair could be anything, literally. 

XYZ = 2001 Argentinian pesos. Go long on this pair!

XYZ = 1923 German Deutchmarks. Long baby long!

Shit, make topsoil, clamshells, or hambones the long side of this pair. You can't lose!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:54 | 1326714 gerd
gerd's picture

You better lever up your stocks to try to keep pace with your depreciating house and currency.  Why does this make you so happy to see this utter abortion of capitalism?  Don't you feel the list bit badly for future generations?!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 20:52 | 1327188 Quaderratic Probing
Quaderratic Probing's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:24 | 1326384 Platinum_Investor
Platinum_Investor's picture

Well I for one just emailed my broker and told them to figure out a strategy

to reduce my holdings by 25% by the end of next week.  I'm not feeling that

QE 3 is going to happen as soon as people expect.  I guess I am joining that

crowd.  Good Luck to you on your Dow 36,000

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:34 | 1326441 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture



Hold on to that Paper!!!


if the Fed Printed $3 trillion in debt.. and another $15 Trillion in Loans (this does Not! include swap windows and TARP / TALF and so fucking on...) over three years..


$18 Trillion divided by 3 years ='s $6 Trillion in New Supply is Printed a Year!


$6 Trillion Dollars divided by 365 days ='s $1,643,835,6164 a Day in in New Supply is Printed a Day!!


$1,643,835,6164 Billion a Day divided by 24 hours in a Day ='s $684,931,506 an hour in New Supply is Printed an Hour!!!  Treasury Direct $14 Trillion Debt   $15 Trillion in Loans  / ='s $29T


They will print again the stock market can Not Fail! just becuase you dont see the super secret loans! @ 0.01%!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 18:39 | 1326843 Fedophile
Fedophile's picture

I agree. The Fed will wait it out until the banksters, and by extension the politicians, are begging to loot savers and the poor; just like a meth junkie crying out for a hit.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:16 | 1326357 Re-Discovery
Re-Discovery's picture

May only short commodities.  Or the Matrix agents will come for you.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:26 | 1326363 duncecap rack
duncecap rack's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:20 | 1326379 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

Only dumbasses would think this is funny. For every point that SP500 index ticks up, billions in taxpayer cash is blown.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:41 | 1326465 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

You want to see something really un-funny, wait until the endgame is executed pretty soon here and all the fattened up ETF pensions and 401K's are confiscated by the Treasury upon the next 'unforeseen economic emergency' which will be pretty soon. Its so obvious what the endgame is here its crystal clear, yet most people cant see it.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:10 | 1326594 knukles
knukles's picture

OK, so the Rapture is one week late is what you're saying?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 22:10 | 1327331 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

I bought 50 way out of the money 10/22 October DXD calls @ 22 strike for 50 cents apiece. To give me peace of mind in case the fuckers who own America had some misdirection up their sleeves. 

The risk I am addressing is that they actually do end QEII (for a SHORT period only) long enough to blow up commodities (bake that 6-8 months into the cake via futures contracts and it's good for re-election cheap(er) food = happy sheep!) and fuck with grandpa's retirement pension. That might be the one thing that'll piss off the sheep more than canceling Survivor! 

Frightened, agitated, and pissed off sheep, feeling their wealth effect vaporize will DEMAND ACTION. 


To wit the President, Barry Soetoro, might respond, "well, we can address this. We have this neato modern method of instant prosperity called Quantitative Easing. It's what made your 401K's fat again after the 2008 wipeout. 

We'll crank it up and viola!, you'll all be rich again in no time. 

The annihilation of commodities would do well to initially masking the additional inflationary pressures. The deleveraging of the non-TBTF's and the subsequent transient bout of deflation would both appease their TBTF masters (who, being well capitalized and NOT lending would get through it, but their competition, the little institutions would get mauled) and provide some -albeit short lived - time buffer for the price pressures that ChairSatan's helicopters would create. 

In short, you get the follow: 

1. Consent of the "governed" to run the press and restore their wealth, since it worked so well in 2009. (*someone punch me in the face for putting that into writing*)

2. Price pressure relief from QE 1 and QE 2, via a short, but intense bout of deflation. 

3. Hero status for "fixing the stock market so quickly", preserving our savings, and restoring *cough* faith in America's central bank. 

4. "Proven instability" in the markets, suggesting that an offer to replace your 401K with guaranteed yield treasury retirement accounts (what I call the 0.401K) forthcoming. 

Odd of this? Ohh, I'll say 1 in 10 (pricing manipulation risk is effectively impossible). But it is a finite risk, and I am addressing it. The other 99% of my portfolio is long as I think the Bernank is hell bent on ass fucking the dollar. 

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:08 | 1326290 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

SkyNet was activated for the END-OF-MONTH window dressing at exactly 15:32pm EST.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:46 | 1326459 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"and the robots upon becoming aware and pimping this bad boy looked at their watches and realized...STILL TIME FOR HAPPY HOUR!"

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:06 | 1326295 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

if {dow.closing.low} ||and||




    run [blamegame] weekly



Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:21 | 1326369 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Forbidden. You do not have read/write privileges in this directory.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 23:00 | 1327467 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

chmod +777 /HFTAlgo

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:34 | 1326660 swissinv
swissinv's picture




Wed, 06/01/2011 - 06:23 | 1327850 foofoojin
foofoojin's picture

Do while People.sleep =  true








     S.E.C = S.E.C + G.S.executive(random)

     FalseFlagEvent.timer = 24*hour

     SexScandaleEvent.timer = 96*hour

     Republican.Candidate.President =  Celibrity.B-list(random)

     if TBTF = FAIL


     elseif NOT TBTF = FAIL






Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:08 | 1326296 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Dow up 128 points on universally bad economic data. This isn't a market! It's a scam!

I keep buying because the market keeps rising, but how can this go on with the market so disconnected from reality?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:09 | 1326320 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Check out IYR or SPG.  Every single piece of data is devastating to them.  Yet, slammed to 52 week highs.


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:24 | 1326388 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It can go on as long as you and all of the other players remain in the casino.

It will all turn on a dime as soon as the stupid money tries to head out the door.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:00 | 1326554 Rynak
Rynak's picture

how can this go on with the market so disconnected from reality?

You need to stop thinking about price a consequence of supply and demand. It can be used for this, but does not need to. At the most basic level, "exchange rate" in the big picture simply is a way to manipulate wealth distribution. Or to put it more simple: Consider money and exchange rate simply a way to define who may aquire which goods.

So, it is not the goods that are manipulated.... it is the laws of how goods change hands that are manipulated.

The "cost" of this manipulation is currency destruction.

Or to put it really simple: They're ripping everyone off and destroying the currency in the process. After the currency is destroyed and the reset button is pushed, those who during this giant "landgrap" aquired goods, still own them.

Currency no longer matters - it's what the currency is traded for, that matters.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:09 | 1326299 Cdad
Cdad's picture

LOL!  So true.  Now the Roach Motel [SPY] is sitting there with its RSI at infinity at the exact moment criminal syndicate Wall Street bankers close the book on May.  Bonus anyone?  Market credibility has now gone from zero to negative.  Nice arb trade ridiculously obvious.

Would someone please check on Mary see if there is even a pulse there. 

Our Republic is on her knees.

Good grief [and by that I mean could it all be any more obvious?]

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:07 | 1326305 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Are you suggesting the ramp up is artificial?

TD, why don't you ever write about the garbage going on with the REITs?  Of course, they jammed higher also to new 52 week highs.  How about exposing that charade?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:12 | 1326326 Robslob
Robslob's picture

And no one thinks for 1 second China could be dumping their worthless FRNs into valuable American companies they will own later? Once China is fully invested in American companies enter (crash mode) programs.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:31 | 1326444 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea thats exactly whats going on. The sheeple are being sold out, and retirements fattened up for the kill, yet these stupid stock buying 'bulls' are convinced the criminal banksters are doing them some personal favor? Man Im going to spend days laughing when the rug gets pulled out.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:12 | 1326337 Chasecran
Chasecran's picture

This is beyond rediculous.  My leverage is about to go to ZERO.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:18 | 1326348 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

why don't they just print as much money as any banker wants at any point of time? What is the trading detour good for?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:46 | 1326506 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Why even hide it? What, the criminal bankster cabal is blushing? No ones going to do anything to stop them anyway, why not just hand billions to the bankers daily? UNLESS in the backs of their minds they realize it COULD all go wrong, and they might all be held accountable. But thats only 1 in a billion chance at this point.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:15 | 1326354 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture

reversal tomorrow

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:18 | 1326355 Herne the Hunter
Herne the Hunter's picture

I don't understand how this works... Sack buys up massive quantities of ES... how then does this make the individual components of S&P500 rise?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:20 | 1326367 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:25 | 1326410 Cdad
Cdad's picture

how then does this make the individual components of S&P500 rise?

He doesn't have to move individual components.  Bonus seeking criminal Wall Street banker driven algorithmic machines do that lifting, with your money, of course.  And magically, at the end of a session like this, they go home flat having dumped the underlying equities to dumb ass ETF funds.

This is the end of the Republic staring us right in the face.  These guys have busted the rule of law, and crony capitalist companies are right in bed with it all.  And apparently, Mary Shapiro is currently in cryogenic freeze.

Brutal...what is happening.  Goodbye middle class.  Goodbye freedom.  Goodbye America.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:33 | 1326449 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And the ETF's theyre dumping to are what? Pensions and 401k's, which will get the rug pulled out and confiscated by the Treasury pretty soon. Its obvious, but 'stock bulls' are oblivious, convinced theyre just getting a favor handed their way.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:40 | 1326672 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Yep yep.  The ultimate dumb, long, buy and hold asset owner is going to get the bill on all of this HFT magic.  No doubt.

401 k accounts are getting a nice distribution of Chipotle, for example.  When the HFT magic made that stock big enough to move from the S&P 400 to the S&P 500, 401 k account index fund holders got the tab...and since there are too few suckers left to actually pay up for this nonsense, a magical synthetic buyer was created.  Hello Average Joe.

The scams are piling up.  Today's action fooled only the dumbest folk in the room.  And mark my words, now that the XRT has been jam packed with all manner and sort of ridiculously priced retail equities, it is time for that creation units machine, in particular, to have a serious problem with its toner cartridge.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:26 | 1326396 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

dont fight the fed, resistance is futile....why not just wait till QE ends to short lol?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:23 | 1326397 The Fonz
The Fonz's picture

Today cost me a fortune. I was short today, there was no real reason for me to lose so much money. The moral rewards of defying uncle gorilla is wiped out from the losses incured doing so. I do not know if any person would be wise to be on either side of a market that simply has no foundation in economic activity and draws all of its strength from political manuvering to tap every bit of wealth from the producers on the way to its own destruction.  I will think a bit longer, however today was a very painful experience.


Does anyone else here think that being short equities is still a good idea?



Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:24 | 1326408 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture

it was programmed days in advance, perfectly correlated trade (...for insiders)

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:32 | 1326427 iLoveMisesToPieces
iLoveMisesToPieces's picture

The oligarchy has to pull the rug out at some point.  They can't let their balance sheets deflate, but at the same time, they need an event to scares the serfs into begging for more QE.  They can also front run some shorts and pick up some real assets at the bottom.  Win-win (for them anyways).

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:52 | 1326527 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

uncool fonz.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:52 | 1326529 zeek
zeek's picture

I can't touch my 401(k) anyway, so I take the self-directed option and go further and further into short ETFs every month.

I figure I won't be able to execute fast enough when the SHTF, and they'll probably take it all anyway... either that, or they'll make all those bear ETFs 'a threat to financial stability.'

Anyway, it'll be fun to see what happens if I don't get kicked out of my positions when it all falls down...  :)

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:07 | 1326567 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

You need to borrow against your 401K now. There is a bill in the House/Senate to make it impossible to take a loan out and a second to nationalize them. It's coming. Better to have some of that cash then none.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:43 | 1326680 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

Not only should you 'touch; your 401k, now is the time to get it all back asap. As you said, when TSHTF it will be too late and remember that BY LAW they can lock you out of removing funds on some items, so you will then be totally locked out of your funds when TSHTF.

You call, better in your pocket than in the GOV or devaluating when the next downturn happens.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 22:58 | 1327463 Prometheus418
Prometheus418's picture

Personally, I'm trying to con(vince) my 401(K) provider that the 2008 housing market collapse should be considered a basis for a hardship withdrawl in accordance with IRS code section 165,  since the lowering of the home's real value, coupled with the decline in the value of the USD, requires me to "repair" my residence to recoop the financial loss caused by this financial disaster.

Gobbledygook, yes.  True, probably not.  But it kind of sounds like their pig-grunting protolanguage, and it just might work.  

If it does, I intend to repair the property by addressing the alarming lack of silver in the walls.

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 16:02 | 1333736 gbh
gbh's picture

Good call Fiery One, recognising the structural defieciency in your home. I understand that current building regulations require that "every home has a silver lining".

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 22:51 | 1327456 fiddler_on_the_roof
fiddler_on_the_roof's picture

Go long oil stock and gold - in my opinion.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:27 | 1326407 iLoveMisesToPieces
iLoveMisesToPieces's picture


All you need to know.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:30 | 1326422 dumpster
dumpster's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:35 | 1326445 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

who the fuck stole dumpster's name???????????????



Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:29 | 1326426 ParaZite
ParaZite's picture

Dow is up 128 points.

Dollar is down.

Is it just me, or do I see a trend with the weakening US dollar and the bloat of the Dow. So, if the US dollar becomes worthless, there are theoretically more US Dollars, and therefore a Higher Dow.

So a Dow of 36,000 would mean that a US dollar now, would be worth a quarter aka 25 cents.

Can you smell the hyperinflation the Bernanke is cooking?


Again, I am no stock market trader, just on the outside, looking in at the markets.  It just seems that with every devaluation of the US Dollar, the Markets move upwards. When a strong dollar is in play, the markets sink that day. 

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:32 | 1326428 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

So what comes after hyperinflation?

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:30 | 1326438 ParaZite
ParaZite's picture

Bread lines and soup kitchens would be my guess. 

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:05 | 1326563 squexx
squexx's picture

Bread lines and soup kitchens?!? Already there, it's called 45 million people on Food Stamps!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:57 | 1326711 sheeple2012
sheeple2012's picture

Nazis i hope

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:34 | 1326442 crash_davis
crash_davis's picture

waiting for the market to be free = much like suffocating

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:41 | 1326462 Herne the Hunter
Herne the Hunter's picture

C:\Documents and Settings\Ben\My Documents\chinook\>PRINT 100_dollar_bill.jpg /d:LPT1
C:\Documents and Settings\Ben\My Documents\chinook\>PRINT 100_dollar_bill.jpg /d:LPT1
C:\Documents and Settings\Ben\My Documents\chinook\>PRINT 100_dollar_bill.jpg /d:LPT1
C:\Documents and Settings\Ben\My Documents\chinook\>PRINT 100_dollar_bill.jpg /d:LPT1

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:39 | 1326463 Herne the Hunter
Herne the Hunter's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:44 | 1326469 Herne the Hunter
Herne the Hunter's picture


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:43 | 1326485 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Window dressing day! Welcome to Scamerica!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:54 | 1326523 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Where is the Any key???  I think I will order a Tab.


Nods to the writers of The Simpsons.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:01 | 1326540 crash_davis
crash_davis's picture

"who would of thought that dad's butt would help to prevent to release of toxic gas" simpsons reference

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:05 | 1326571 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

The symmetry of the intraday charts for the SPX or DOW are a wonder to behold. Midcap did not participate to the same extent, hence ramp job. In fact, horizontal curly brackets, something only a computer could love!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:09 | 1326579 bmwm395
bmwm395's picture

we all have to just trade the game as it is. I am as big a Bear as anyone. I bought the es this morning at 1336.75. Because I'm such Bear my stops were way to tight. I took a small loss. I didn't go short so I'm going to call it a win.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:23 | 1326630 h4rdware
h4rdware's picture

while (stillopen() && (clock() < tclosing_ - 1.0))
price_ += ((random() - 0.5f) + constant[current_equity_]) * scaling_fudge_;

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 19:16 | 1326971 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Or this....

double SPX = 666;

boolean masses_are_asleep = TRUE;

double long double quadruple quintuple double double newMoney = 600e+9;

while(SPX < 2500) {

     SPX = marketPump(SPX, new_money);

     end }

// function marketPump

double marketPump(SPX, new_money){

do {

if( market_now < market_x_ticks_ago){

   if (new_money ==0){




     SPX += new_money/100;   

     new_money -=new_money/100;




Tue, 05/31/2011 - 21:01 | 1327208 h4rdware
h4rdware's picture

That could work.

Meanwhile in the guts of QE...

void QE(imaginary long _n = BIG_STARTING_CONSTANT)
for (imaginary long i = 0; i < (1 << _n); i++)



Tue, 05/31/2011 - 21:32 | 1327259 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture



ROFLMFAO. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Do you know how painful it is to spit hot coffee out through your nose?????

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 17:56 | 1326725 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

This is just plain fucking surreal. 


Tue, 05/31/2011 - 19:17 | 1326960 prophet
prophet's picture

Saw more than a few commentaries this morning about not buying the open but buying before the close to sidestep the gap open and front run the rest of the week as it looked likely to be an up week for a myriad of reasons.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 20:38 | 1327164 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

/usr/bin/frbny/sackster/market_manipulation/ - e /usr/bin/routethrucitadel

This would instill only a little more confidence. Having the Fed using Windows is just too scary to contemplate....

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 21:50 | 1327309 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture


Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!