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Tyler Durden's picture


If one central bank ramps up the wannabe Zimbabwe stock market to infinity and absolutely nobody is there to hear the sonic boom, did the central bank really pull a Gideon Gono?






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Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:19 | 1114080 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Is something unusual about this?

Edit: Nevermind.  Christ I need a nap.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:18 | 1114121 Burnbright
Burnbright's picture

Not unusual but I think he is just making the joke if the stock market ramps up with no particpants (low volume) does anyone even care?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:25 | 1114144 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

Therefore if there is increased volume the market will crash.

The opposite has proven to be true.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:41 | 1114265 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Correct.  It has been true for months.  The only high volume episodes occur when people are selling.  In fact, you see it every morning.  The Street sells in the first hour...and the terminators take over from there...overwhelming with speed what they cannot overcome in volume.

It is a chart of just how broken the market is.  It is a chart of the NYSEs [lack of] credibility.  It is a chart that reveals how deeply corrupt the Wall Street syndicate is as they tell YOU daily to buy the market...because they need you to step up and buy their shares of Apple.

It is a chart of the new American Banker/Marxist party's handiwork.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:45 | 1114291 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

I wish we could come up with a phrase that actually fits the plutoligarchial description. the ABA is a bit more like Mussolini or Morgan than poor Karl. Corpses are only willing to participate in fascism because it would be the only example that guarantees their profits and destruction of the labor force they require.

I can't think of anything repulsive enough.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:46 | 1114301 Highrev
Highrev's picture

The snapback lives on.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:58 | 1114351 Cdad
Cdad's picture

In the meantime, containment at reactor #2 has been lost, and dumb-ass, criminal syndicate Wall Street bankers are all LONG ALREADY...which is what else the chart shows.  And they don't have shit for incoming cash from Average Joe...because they already fleeced him.

So as the nightmare of radiation clouds further paralyzing supply chains in Japan becomes realized, there will be no one to buy all the bullshit equity positions that have been taken on by what we now call the ultra dumb money, the hockey helmet wearing crowd, the supposed Harvard geniuses that have been cashing checks that the world economy clearly cannot cover...Wall Street.



Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:11 | 1115582 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

What will happen when C does its 1 for 10 split and the robots don't have their favorite squeeze toy to play with any more?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:56 | 1114347 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

well lessee, if they have all the money in the world, and can buy any number of stocks available, seems to me they can rig the game fvkin

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:59 | 1114359 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Great assessment Cdad - however, please be careful or Jim Cramer is gonna kick you A$$ for the NYSE's lack of credibility issue - that is the first rule of Cramerica, Never talk about NYSE credibility...isn't it time for the ligtening round?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:53 | 1114331 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Teflon slick bad news wont stick

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 18:16 | 1114686 TemporalFlashback
TemporalFlashback's picture

True. Plus, the Gideon Gono reference was classic.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:28 | 1114169 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Does anybody know what that chart is about?


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:29 | 1114194 Burnbright
Burnbright's picture

The top one is NYSE volume. The bottom is self explanatory.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:31 | 1114196 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Ben traded Hal 2 shares market up 80 points

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:36 | 1114220 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

I don't know what any of these charts are about. Little squiggly lines going up and down all over the place, and abbreviations at the top. About the only ones I understand are Mr. Karl Denningers at Market Ticker and even he has these blue ones with the stuff all over it. Jesse's Cafe Americain has some really pretty ones, with little curvy stuff, but I don't understand those either. I am an INTP, but I am better at poetry. Although I have read a Economy Book, Econned by Yves Smith.

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:39 | 1114267 dearth vader
dearth vader's picture

Don't worry, be happy. Everything is under control.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:01 | 1114317 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Its hard to be happy because I understand the big numbers and stuff like solvency versus liquidity. I can even figure out taxes and things and accounting. But I just swear some of these charts are like Greek or something, plus they are usually too small to read. Plus, the numbers on the side are usually not the same unit from chart to chart, so how steep something is is kinda up to the charter. 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:37 | 1114948 knukles
knukles's picture

Just think of it as shiny, wiggly decorative hieroglyphics objectifying obfuscatory lack of knowledge and unjustifiable inglorious compensation.  Think of it as part of the codex, theology and deism of modern nonsensical financial sophistry.  Of another form of taxation levied upon serfdom by the modern theologians, lawgivers and lawgivers financial enablers.  Neither criticize nor attempt comprehension, for therein results in the king's men's suppression of the meek.  Think of the CNBS's as the King's silicone enhanced criers, shouting the King's news to the helpless oppressed masses of the New Babylon.  The peasantry of the New Versailles need not understand the language of the Gods, for they cannot comprehend such excesses, best worship-fully and jealously aspired from afar.  Do not lay down with them, for they are pigs who shall trample you underfoot, those that reside within the drained swap amongst the hallowed structures surrounding the tall flag bejeweled obelisk.  Pablum before principles wrapped in veils of altruism.  
Fear not.
War is Peace,
Ignorance is Knowledge,
Freedom is Slavery.

Arbecht macht frei

Don't leave before the miracle occurs.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 23:32 | 1115669 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Hmmmm, Hieroglyphics are like the stuff in The Coming Forth by Day of Osiris Jones, which just NOBODY my age has ever heard of. Plus, even old people in their 40s and 50's and 60's haven't ever heard of it. I must have a old soul, or it's that my father has the book and showed me it.

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:51 | 1114323 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Introversion. Intuitiveness, Thinking and perception. If I were in your shoes I'd protect every one you got, not make more, and don't use shiny metal or CNBC to do it.


For those less evolved. Ransack old farm homes under the guise of copper. but hoping to find an old marketing sign. Yucky stuff this Keysianess. And if John Chambers (cisco) thinks he is better at solid state electronics than I am, he can come and get me with his "expatriated" tax dollars. There are only 60 minutes in a severt/watt.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:58 | 1114355 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

i dont know either but it sure makes me horny!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:24 | 1114444 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Do you like drinking water?

Do you admire The Japanese People?

If so, then we have some excellent Japanese bottled water that you will want to buy! Yes, straight from the purest source in Japan, the mythical Fukushima Daiichi Luminous Spring! This water is so pure, so untouched, that it is bottled by men wearing special suits to prevent any of it touching their skin! You can't get purer than that!

So Pure, this water doubles as a lighting source! Packaged in an environmentally undegradeable bottle of leaded glass, five of these placed around the room will provide light for the next 24,000 years!

So Pure, any food placed in its vicinity will stay fresh for an estimated 40.333 years.

Brought to you by TEPCO (waste disposal division). Please specify preferred colour - Cesium Blue or Iodine Yellow

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:16 | 1114096 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

If Bernanke can make the volume hit 0 shares traded we could have some serious momentum behind this rally.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:16 | 1114097 Kat
Kat's picture

Did you say Gideon Gono?  Bernanke's model central banker?  What could go wrong?!!?!

I do love how Gono is feeling completely justified in his money printing scheme now that the countries wagging their fingers at him are joining in on the fun.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:35 | 1114222 Mercury
Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:17 | 1114111 JoeStocks
JoeStocks's picture

For those like me who did not know...

Gideon Gono (born November 29, 1959) is the current Governor of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe (RBZ) and former CEO of the Jewel Bank, formerly known as the Commercial Bank of Zimbabwe.[1][2] Rapid expansion of the money supply on his watch has been blamed for contributing to Zimbabwe's hyperinflation.[3]
For his part in the hyperinflation, Gono was awarded an Ig Nobel parody prize in 2009 for "giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers by having his bank print notes with denominations ranging from one cent to one hundred trillion dollars".[4]

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:23 | 1114150 jkruffin
jkruffin's picture

I bought me some of those $100 Trillion notes on Ebay for souvenirs for $3 a piece. I might start sending one every day to Bernanke just as a reminder..

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:25 | 1114160 Kat
Kat's picture

Please don't.  He'll take is encouragement.  It's already his goal.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:35 | 1114234 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

"Mr. Bernanke, there is a package for you."


"Oh good, Timmah sent over samples of the new notes.. hey wait.. these say Zimbabwe! fuck it."

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:13 | 1114888 KickIce
KickIce's picture

I think he would like nothing better than to print in larger denominations but knows if he ever does gold would skyrocket.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:27 | 1114180 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

Envelopes: Rising

Stamps: Rising

Service at Post Office: Shittier than ever

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 21:04 | 1115188 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

I thought envelopes were still stationary and stamps were sticky. Hahahahahahaha

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:29 | 1114184 malikai
malikai's picture

I can't even do the math to figure your exchange rate on that deal.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:30 | 1114193 jimijon
jimijon's picture

I bought two for $2.00 a piece. See my investment is already paying off!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:44 | 1114288 jkruffin
jkruffin's picture

I know right, everytime I try to do the math on a calculator, I keep getting a whole pile of ZERO's running across the screen with a BernankEE on the bitch.  LOL

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:44 | 1114567 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture overpaid....

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:39 | 1114965 knukles
knukles's picture


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:29 | 1114485 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Gideon Gono (born November 29, 1959) is the current Governor of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe...

I knew who he was. But I had no idea he was still on the job. Amazing.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:01 | 1114852 Kat
Kat's picture

watcha mean?  The Zimbabweans are the leaders in the money printing game.  Zimbabwe is winning!!!  The Zimbabweans have more money than ever.  WOOOHOOO!!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:01 | 1114853 Kat
Kat's picture

watcha mean?  The Zimbabweans are the leaders in the money printing game.  Zimbabwe is winning!!!  The Zimbabweans have more money than ever.  WOOOHOOO!!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:18 | 1114114 LeftCoastRefugee
LeftCoastRefugee's picture

Love to watch the random spikes taking the ES up 2 points in 10 seconds throughout the day.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:18 | 1114123 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Great another up day-- wow I feel so much better about the greater problems that society face.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:19 | 1114125 irishlink
irishlink's picture

Dropped 75% in less than 12 months! yuppee Hope springs eternal.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:19 | 1114126 bingaling
bingaling's picture

Next thing you know he will be taking away property and giving it to the banks .

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:20 | 1114129 AAPL_Short
AAPL_Short's picture

Hah, a Zen koan. Deep. Surprised me positively ;)

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:22 | 1114140 AR15AU
AR15AU's picture

Brings new meaning to "Christmas in July..."

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:24 | 1114143 irishlink
irishlink's picture

If the Dow did this; what would the dollar be worth?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:23 | 1114145 tallen
tallen's picture

In other news, selling stocks and bonds has been made ILLEGAL.

Just give it a few weeks.


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:24 | 1114155 jesus_quintana
jesus_quintana's picture

Seems like every day I think I've seen the most outrageous, egregious market action I'll ever see. And every day, without fail, the next day is worse. Beyond sickening now.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:26 | 1114163 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

I thought nobody fucked with the Jesus? Bernanke clearly does.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:57 | 1114358 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Liam and  me are going to fuck you up.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:24 | 1114156 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

I'm sort of tempted to run the first graph through my sound card.

I wonder if it'd be the sound of Bernanke hissing.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:19 | 1114446 augie
augie's picture

sounds like steam escaping...

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:49 | 1114993 knukles
knukles's picture

Please do. 
Truly, I mean this is an insight. 
Probably like the "Paul is Dead" scratches on that old Beatles album, it's an encoded communication between the senior Illuminati disclosing the secrets of immorality, wealth, Nabiru-X, and everlasting penile enhancement. 
And I'll betcha that neutron beam was a laser communications signal saying to all in the universe; "Stay the fuck back 100 feet when lights flashing." 

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:25 | 1114161 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Buy now or be priced out forever bitchez! :snark:

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:39 | 1114249 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

that's what Robo said on other thread: "if blah blah blah, we'll see a buying melee and panic to get in at any price" [italics are direct quote]. Should I buy triple financial NOW to beat the rush?? <snark>

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:41 | 1114275 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

...that's what Robo said on other thread...

At least I am among greatness. :roll: :P

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:30 | 1114191 punxsutawney phil
punxsutawney phil's picture

Is not a bad multiplier, to run it up with no volume.  Since QE2 started, US market cap has increased 25%, so an increase in 4.5 Trillion in paper wealth.  All that from just 500 bb or so in POMO so far.  At least in stocks, a factor of 9 multiplier on FED "investment".  Somehow I doubt Benji has any experience trading out of a big position that he just printed for size his own way.   

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:32 | 1114214 Chasecran
Chasecran's picture

I wonder how low they'll have to take it to find an air pocket for Benny B. to fly his helicopter through.  I would say 1191.75ish.  Buffett is going to clean up on those puts.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:33 | 1114219 jimijon
jimijon's picture

I do think it is time for me to create a website to get signatures to give Mr. Ponzi the Nobel in Economics posthumously. 

Whadda ya think?

Hmm, I might have to review the nominating methods over at that very prestigious organization.


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:37 | 1114251 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

If Obama could win the peace prize, the I don't see why not.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:52 | 1114329 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Jimijon - Go for it - will totally support your efforts - considering that the Nobel Prize is awarded for achievements I cannot see why Charles Ponzi should not be recognized for his efforts & the influence they have had - However, you may want to name other awards - like so many achievements one stands on the shoulders of giants - I wonder what Charles Ponzi would say if he were here to witness Bernie Madoff & Ben Bernacke's antics..great idea

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:39 | 1114263 bingaling
bingaling's picture

Any day now there will be jobs from all of this and now it is going on three years we have to be close right? I hope it doesn't rain a lot this spring it could ruin everything . No jobs until next year and then we have to worry about snow again .

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:41 | 1114266 jimijon
jimijon's picture

Is it just me, or does anyone else have a problem with the horizontal scrolling of the text box? It is soooo very annoying.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:40 | 1114269 Tense INDIAN
Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:54 | 1114278 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

You know what I;m really looking forward to? I'm looking forward to seeing the /ES, as a result of a HFT computer going berserk, start ramping up on nothing but 10 contract trades at a time and keep going up to an utterly ridiculous level...I'm talking about the inverse of the "flash crash"...I want to see the /ES get ramped 100-200 points or more in a matter of minutes on no volume at all.

you know...for shits and giggles.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:11 | 1114404 Matlock
Matlock's picture

Mises's Crack-Up Boom!

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:47 | 1114300 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Great Post TD - but I think this one may have you beat - XHB because HOMEBUILDING IS WHERE IT IS AT, BABY - I cannot post the chart, however, if you need a laugh check it out!


Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:56 | 1114353 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

That should rightfully be trading at less than $5 and be 3 reverse splits down the road by now.

Truly insane.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:14 | 1114427 Milton Waddams
Milton Waddams's picture

LOL S&P "Homebuilders" ETF.  What's in a name?


Williams Sonoma Inc 3.91% Pulte Group Inc 3.90% Bed Bath & Beyond Inc 3.69% Pier 1 Imports Inc 3.68% D R Horton Inc 3.67% Leggett & Platt Inc 3.64% Tempur Pedic Intl Inc 3.64% Nvr Inc 3.63% Mohawk Inds Inc 3.63% M D C Hldgs Inc 3.59%

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:57 | 1114346 Roscoe
Roscoe's picture

Instead of BTFD, should it be BTFOSTFC: Buy the open, sell the close?

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 16:58 | 1114362 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Its simple. Buy stocks.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:05 | 1114383 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

Volume traded on the indices used to be reported as a matter of habit.  Now it doesn't even appear on either the WSJ or Bloomberg main pages.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:04 | 1114387 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

Who needs reason when there is exuberance?

The end is here.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:09 | 1114392 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

well, the geniuses on Blomberga esplained it all for me [well, ya gotta luv that Sheela, anyway]. Simple: bad news=motivation for QE3, hence stocks up, since they luv QE. PS: Shiller (of Case-Shiller fame) sez oh, no, ya sure can't stop [QE] NOW.... in fact, need more

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:06 | 1114394 sheep92
sheep92's picture

The reason that volume is down is because SEC fees have gone up dramatically ruining many high frequency trading strategies.  The volume which has been lost is 'arb' volume and as such does not reflect much.  At the margin the market is a little less liquid.  Not meaningful to price level.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:18 | 1114443 myTPisUSD
myTPisUSD's picture

Big Lebowski Edit:

Tommy was a good politician, and a good man; he was, he was one of us. He was a man who loved architecture, and freedom. And as an enlightenment follower, he explored the aspects of maintaining and protecting freedom, from Virginia to Paris, and up to....D.C. His vision is dying....His vision is dying as are many young men of his generation before his time. In your "wisdom", America, you took his vision away...Like you took so many away with Jersey Shore, Dancing with the Stars, and The Hills Season 3 episode 64. These young men are sacrificing their chance at future liberty, and so is Tommy's vision being sacrificed. Tommy who loved freedom. And so, Thomas Jefferson, we release your immortal disposition to the roots of the Tree of Liberty, which you loved so well, let us hope one day it will prosper. Good night sweet prince.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:23 | 1114468 augie
augie's picture


I think i now understand the bowling metaphor.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:21 | 1114447 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Who would have thought that after everything that has happened the last two months, the top performing, flat out strongest sector ETF's would be:




Bears pretty much have one more day to crash this pig, otherwise, we are going to see yet another leg up.

Where it goes, how far it goes, I have no clue, but I will be participating 100%.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 17:24 | 1114465 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Which phone company is selling the most iPads and iPhones?

I don't know, but all I can say is that AT&T must be leading the pack.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 18:02 | 1114627 hambone
hambone's picture

Next leg up...interesting.  Somebody is going to need to find a way to stop "leakage" and focus on purchasing on bonds / stocks / RE / CRE and avoid commodities, ags, etc. tagging along for the ride.

Should be a neat trick and I don't really put it by TPTB.

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 18:14 | 1114687 zeek
zeek's picture

Somebody in DC must be cooking up the next handout... smartphones for all...

Tue, 03/29/2011 - 19:16 | 1114886 mynhair
mynhair's picture

HFTs now front-running the front-running of the front-running of EOQ window dressing.

Soon, everyday will be MF Monday.

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