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My Run in With the Law
I’m sorry I’m late getting my letter out today. I was racing home from San Francisco on Highway 24 when the California Highway Patrol pulled me over for doing 80 mph in a 65 mph zone.
The officer asked me where the fire was, and I told him I was rushing back to my office to get my investment newsletter out. He asked if this was like a stock market letter, and when I said yes, he informed me that in addition to speeding, I would be cited for a pink taillight.
I pointed out that several pension funds relied on my letter for direction and that the sooner they got it, the better their performance would be. The officer then asked if CALPERS, the California Public Employees Retirement System, was one of those. When I confirmed this, he told me that this was his pension fund, that it had lost a third of its value in the last two years, and tacked on a third violation for excessive smoke belching out of my tail pipe.
I upped the ante by informing him that a lot of home owners read my letter for real estate advice. The cop sighed that his own house had dropped in value by half, and hit me again for using my cell phone while driving, a $148 fine.
Then I noticed a Marine Corp. gunnery sergeant’s pin on his uniform. I casually mentioned that I had been a jarhead captain and was a combat pilot in Desert Storm. He murmured under his breath that he hated all officers, and then noticed the life sized blow up Barbie Doll sitting in my passenger seat that I used to gain access to the carpool lane.
As he handed me my fifth citation for illegal use of a commuter lane, a minimum $340 fine, I decided to keep my mouth shut. Who knew we financial types were so unpopular on Main Street? Looks like the next time I need to rush back from the city, I’ll be riding my bicycle.
To see the data, charts, and graphs that support this research piece, as well as more iconoclastic and out-of-consensus analysis, please visit me at www.madhedgefundtrader.com . There, you will find the conventional wisdom mercilessly flailed and tortured daily, and my last two years of research reports available for free. You can also listen to me on Hedge Fund Radio by clicking on “This Week on Hedge Fund Radio” in the upper right corner of my home page.
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As far as I recall, there is no car pool lane on Highway 24 between Oakland and Walnut Creek, but otherwise a good one :-)
Good thing he didn't look in your trunk. He mightvhave found that ganja you smoke when you write....
Does anyone remember the cartoon Commander McBrag? It was, I believe, part of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show. Its basic premise always showed two Englishmen sitting in their club's library having an innocuous conversation when the most benign statement would send off Commander McBrag into the most improbable story which always featured him as the hero. At the end of the preposterous story, the other member, entraped into listening to the story can only politely say "Quite" rather than the "Bullshit!" the Commander's story so richly deserved. (It was after all, a children's show).
In reading MHFT, who has lived in Singapore, worked on an oil rig, drilled for oil in Alaska, riddden on the space shuttle, been in David Rockefeller's Rolodex, traded gold in London, mined for silver in Malaysia, run a hedge fund before hedge funds were born, worked at Drexel, worked at Lehman, etc, etc etc, I always think of Commander McBrag and his stories. While I realize today's column was a (weak) attempt at some humor, in between the occasional bit of market info, there sure is a lot of bullshit. I read today's column, took a deep breath and said to myself:
"Quite"
It was on Tennessee Tuxedo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkZzLUvuLLU
Apropos for today, solar powered aircraft, LOL.
Thank you. Great! That solar panel looked Chinese to me....
McBrag was either on "Tennesee Tuxedo" or "Roger Ramjet", not "Rocky & Bullwinkle"
Thank you. We were all correct. From Wikipedia
Commander McBragg is a cartoon character who appeared in short segments (usually lasting 90 seconds) produced by Total Television Productions and animated by Gamma Productions. These segments first appeared in 1963 on the animated series Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales,[1][2] then on the Underdog animated television show from 1964–1973, and have appeared in some syndicated prints of The Bullwinkle Show, Hoppity Hooper and Uncle Waldo's Cartoon Show.
Quite, Mitchman........since bullshit is on the table why not start a list beginning with the really gifted bullshitters.......how about Bernanke......."the loses are not expected to exceed $200 million" or words to that effect.......rememeber that testimony to Congress not too long in the past.......there must be a myriad of self incriminating statements made by thre really gifted bullshiters wortha look back at?
Odd twist with us humans as so many of the really talented bullshiters seem to have found and occupied high office.
Brilliantly said, RRT. One quote of Benron's that I believe should live forever in financial history is (I don't know if I have this exactly correct) "The subprime crisis is contained."
I do hope you understand my point about MHFT. If I remember correctly, he also worked o a road construction crew and on and on. I find his posts to be weak and when you throw the bloviation (!) on top of it, I don't understand why he is getting space on ZH.
I think I can answer that Mitchman........MHFT is really Forest Gump.
And thanks for the hit........and the reminder of the subprime crisis being contained. I kid you not; after the release of the speech form JHole .......haven't felt that kind of momentary rage in a long time, but the preliminary from Bullard and the followup by Bernanke was a threat, probably from the self realization that offical credibility is at a tipping point and moral bankrupcy much like finacial "bankruptcy happens at first gradually, and then suddenly" .......to quote from the Sun Also Rises
And, simple question; if the first round of QE did not work then why would it work a second time?
PS......followup thought; the fuckers must be constantly looking at the Public Memory Meter to time when the lie is adjusted ever so slightly until after after a number of rewrites under the cover of the public's MSM half life induced memory losses the latest statements become so altered to the point the words start to look like Hollywood plastic surgeries gone very wrong.
And just to extend a previous point; so many of the really talented bullshiters seem to have found and occupied high office........and once in office refuse to fucking leave!
Great post again. Great Hemingway quote. Time and space prevent a full and frank discussion of the issue. :-)
Besides, theres a great donnybrook over at Leo's post.
Let me close by saying that the JHole by the AHole was depressing. You know that old definition of insanity. I understand that the guy has no choice but to put lipstick on the pig. But since when does the FED and not real human beings create prosperity?
Leo always draws a crowd, just like a schoolyard fight......thx for the h/u......I'll be over soon.
I bet MHFT never got runover by a car like me.
Kobe ni sunde imashta. Talk more about Japan later......
Look forward to it. I loved it there.
Mitchman.......you left out Japanese. MHFT speaks fluent Japanese.......magihegifunditurada nihongo o hannishimasu! hai!
LMAO! You got it perfect. I was over there a dozen times (really not a dozen MHFT times) and I can hear the words being spoken! Domo aregato gozaimas!
Humm... what type of car were you driving? Probably not the same car model that a CHP could budget on..
Cops in Moraga are the worst. 24 sucks for speed traps in general, but at least they're finally putting in the fourth bore in the tunnel.
Lots of heat on 280 today.
Should'a pulled an Ice-T and capped his ass (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cop_Killer_(song)).
Good job CHiPs didn't see this ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3Ry29RK-Lk
Very clever advertising.
Ha!
There ISN'T a commuter (HOV) lane on 24!
has this crisis also caused everyone to lose their sense of humor´.......no recovery until Barry signs the anal Stimulus Bill 2.0.6
The cop was too easy on you. Maybe he had no handcuffs.
Good thing he didn't nail you for child porn too.
Pay Attention. He is a trader not a SEC quant.
Who you calling an SEC cunt.
"SEQ Quant" - nice oxymoron
I enjoyed this story.
Thank you!
Most of my encounters consisted of one way converstations using very small single syllable words in a hard way because I was stupid and made a boo boo in a town somewhere.
It is so nice to read that there are real people that can live in California and joke about it.
Good thing he didn't notice your FAZ4LIF license plate.
+1
LOL. This is called chiron in aquarius. It's a kind of venus problem.
July 20, 2010 until February 8, 2011
Chiron in Aquarius describes the wounded community, the distrust of hope and retreat from ideals. However, it can also raise awareness of how our collective ideas imprison us in an icy world of abstraction.
So it's best to stay away from communities you haven't wounded till next spring. Let's see communities that the financial community haven't wounded....
Oh I'll see ya at the graveyard.
Unless of course they died of starvation during the great depression.
Shit Blood parasites group help meeting.
Oh no that won't work.
Have you ever played windows solitaire? My record is 63 seconds. Try to beat that and call me in 6 months.
This missive should have a moral to the story, or several.
First and foremost: States are in fiscal straight jackets. Traffic violations are a revenue source. 'Nuff said on that.
Second: Keep your mouth shut when dealing with LEOs. Anything you say can and will be held against you.
Third: Be sure brain is engaged, before putting mouth in gear, if you choose to ignore #2. As a CHP, of course he has a vested interest in CALPERs, even if you have given good advise, if it was overwhelmed by bad advise, even from others, you are guilty until proven innocent. The more you say, the more you are guilty of.
Fourth: Just because you don't believe in the Police State, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Wallstreet humor?
Investment advisor?
He should have tazed your ass.
Now that is funny!........tazed hs ass........taze BB and TG's asses too, please! Well then, while your at it officer, why not taze AG's ass too.......now, that would be funny.........Summers, almost forgot Summers that fucking prick and how about Blankfein and.........
Used to be the cops were the pigs. Now it's the bankers. Makin' bacon by the side o' da road, oh yeah!!
Want to come to my birthday party?
No fryer fucks, but thanks.
Haven't heard that before so no worry.......
I apologize. I thought you tripped me up with a "makin' bacon" joke.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Making%20bacon
I would taze Summers at your birthday party. Perhaps use him as a piñata first?
No problem. thx for the hit back and urbane education.......I did a quick search after reading the ff comment and determined it may have several meanings but probably a sexual conotation.........just for the record; not a saint or above reproach, far from it and not adverse to being overwhelmed with wicked thoughts from time to time.
The real news out of this exchange is that when I was looking to discover the meaning of ff I also discovered that our very brief exchange has suddenly morphed into a google reference for ff as of last night and brings the ff boomerang right back here to this very spot........I don't know what to make of that. Maybe I should hide under the bed?
Hope you get to read this. I think the goog development is unusual.
this is neither funny nor is it clever.
Nice one madhedgefundtrader, made me smile!
DavidC
I don't think I've seen a bigger piece of bullshit since Pamplona.
Ah...the Fiesta de San Fermin. 6 AM in the streets with the daily paper, a Cuban Cigar and cup of strong coffee.
It is not that you are a wall st "type". It is your entitlement issues and the fact that you actually believe your investment advice is "sound" when in fact it is so complex it adds negative value to society and expects a "fee" for the profundity of your "wisdom".
I would respectfully ask that you quit your investment newsletter job, start over from rock bottom, the most logical thing to do, get a job on a farm for a few years (or work of earnest equivalent) learn the value of concepts like "exchange" "value" "money" and rebuild your self worth and worth to others in a profession you grow expert at.
Even if it was a joke, and hopefully it was, the blow up doll is symbolic of your only remaining friend.
I was thinking with this post MHFT was trying on his new career as a comedy writer. Intentional comedy, I mean.
And I was thinking that this was the first time in two years that MHFT has added to the states coffers.
Just kidding ya, MHFT. :)
++lifelovenharmony
who needs his boiler room bullshit - he needs to get chased outta everystate