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Next Up On The Xtranormal Docket: HFT Explained By Cartoons

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since it appears that the majority of the American public is receptive to understanding moderately complex economic and financial topics only when presented in cartoon format (as in QE2) here is extranormal with the latest, this time making high frequency trading comprehensible to even those with a 2 minute attention span.

 

 

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Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:31 | 727672 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Got me on the second Ha Ha Ha!

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:34 | 727681 Gone Full Retard
Gone Full Retard's picture

What does that means? High Frequency? Does you mean wireless trading on a non-standard frequency? Can someone please explains?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:41 | 727708 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Read this and you will know all you need to know about HFT:

http://madscienceunlimited.com/fiction/theexchange.html

Well maybe. Fortran ain't factually say'n how she does it.

 

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:46 | 727732 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Fortran was small but womanly and well-proportioned with slender arms and large breasts for her size and perfectly white straight hair cut at the jawline. Significantly, she was bat-winged with a 16 foot span and colored a pleasing but stunningly unnatural blue – the same color as autumn sky – over her entire body. Her eyes likewise were an almost electric blue like paired sapphires fronting electric arcs.

Sounds like my first wife. Just sayin'

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:52 | 727755 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Did she ever set you on fire? Oh wait, I get it now ...

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:52 | 727754 Gone Full Retard
Gone Full Retard's picture

"“Teddy,” she began dryly. “I just moved three-hundred-billion dollars several times, the contents of your bank account are relatively unimportant. Besides,” and here she smiled sweetly, “I bet I won't need F-cups to guess your PIN. Don't make me embarrass you.”"

Are you for reals? That didn'tsay anythink about the frequency problem that is being discussed?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:55 | 727767 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Not a lot no. But you can see why they have such a problem. The guys in IT have no will power when faced with a pretty super computer with a willing plug-in architecture.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:06 | 727788 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Please describe "a willing plug-in architecture" complete with close-up photos and user experience ratings.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:13 | 727799 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

She's fully open-source ...  waaaay open. So go ask her yourself. She's a push-over for flowers.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:24 | 727814 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Sounds like she could upgrade my floppy disk to a hard drive?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:32 | 727829 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

In a New York minute. But you have to be careful of leakage currents. Just as the upgrade is going really well she sometimes has to dump a few thousand volts. Anything that's plugged in becomes a grounding rod. She's lost more boyfriends that way. You have to feel bad for her.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:44 | 727854 Gone Full Retard
Gone Full Retard's picture

Are you 3 clown loanly? Would you like some frees links to the Glenn Beck porn site? or somethings?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:54 | 727880 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

It's humor. It's good for you. Oh I have another story I'm gonna post today, I bet you'll just love it. Or ... maybe not. It's okay. I can handle it.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 14:28 | 727964 woolly mammoth
woolly mammoth's picture

 

Hey new guy, welcome aboard. If you think cougar is fun just wait till you get a chance to play with our racoon.  And yes, he knows his name is misspelled.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 14:58 | 728055 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Don't hate the coon, hate the coon's mother for the misspelling. :>)

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 16:20 | 728243 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

At least she didn't name him "Sue".

 

 

Looks like Cougar wins the prize today for most obscure country music reference.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 16:30 | 728260 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

You're assuming our one and only coon is a male. While that's probably a good bet, may I suggest you conduct a personal inspection. I'll just stand way over here so I don't get splattered with your blood.

Could you please give me the name and phone number of your next of kin? And make sure your last will and testament is updated to included my inheritance of that newfangled electric bike of yours.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 18:33 | 728591 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Didn't I ever s'plain to you my 7 point mathematical proof that all Internet forum dwellers are males?

Even the cougars?

See I yam a skaw-ler

As for the bike, it's in for repairs. You can have it right now in fact but I want it back after you fix it.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 15:04 | 728075 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Here is SkyNet lifting EVERY offer this very morning - no matter the size.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 15:41 | 728161 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Liftoff!

We have liftoff Houston of day two of 8 straight days of POMO.

Mission accomplished.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 15:30 | 728140 detournement
detournement's picture

it means all your QQQQ are belong to them

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:40 | 727697 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

..this time making high frequency trading comprehensible to even those with a 2 minute attention span.

Hey, that was way more than two minutes. :>)

Quote of the day: "By the way, you are hot, especially when you are outraged."

Typical trader. Why pay for it when you can get it free using your charm and fat wallet.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:44 | 727724 TwelfthVulture
TwelfthVulture's picture

Quote of the day: "By the way, you are hot, especially when you are outraged  appalled."

Fixed that for ya.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:52 | 727758 Seymour Butt
Seymour Butt's picture

That's what she said.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:45 | 727729 His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture

If I understand you correctly: the Fat Wallet is just eye candy, so to speak, but is never opened?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:17 | 727743 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

In this case the Fat Wallet is opened for drinks, dinner and entertainment. But never for the actual services rendered.

Unless of course he (or increasingly she) likes to provide money for "presents" that can be self bought.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:40 | 727705 Ray1968
Ray1968's picture

Spot-on

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:42 | 727711 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Forest ecosystems in privileged worlds have been choked by a prescription of total perseverance; keep it intact but unused by feet and hands only to devastate the terrain.  The forest burns naturally.  To let it suffer for the needs of a greedy few is ridiculous.  Private corporations will stop at nothing to switch from a tribe to a monolithic democracy.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:47 | 727735 His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture

Is that the Greenpeace quote of the day?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:56 | 727763 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The Greenpeace Corporation is detoured by non events.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:43 | 727717 His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture

If I had a nickel for every time a hot chick wearing a cardboard box on her head complained about too much 'speed'...

 

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:52 | 727757 fuu
fuu's picture

Warren is that you?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:16 | 727804 kathy.chamberli...
kathy.chamberlin@gmail.com's picture

damn that dudette was busy with his fingernails.

ZEUS is that you?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 17:08 | 728414 His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture

ZEUS? No, but I often use another name for take-out. After you show up at the restaurant, they look at you and finally ask: "Thor?" To which I reply: "Well, I'm hurting a little." (old Robin Williams joke)

But for our night out on the town, if you really want to see my 'Zeus' well...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr7G6hlvKMs

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 18:18 | 728620 kathy.chamberli...
kathy.chamberlin@gmail.com's picture

can i be your whiplash†

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:44 | 727720 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

If you say something often enough, it sticks. Larry Tutt taught us that?'

Oh, I thought Joseph Goebel's taught us that.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 18:25 | 728636 trav7777
trav7777's picture

Bernays more likely

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:44 | 727723 GlassHammer
GlassHammer's picture

"What is a spread? A spread is a silly notion of a bid and ask cost measurement. It means nothing today as we have an order driven market."

^That was perfect and utterly depressing at the same time.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:47 | 727736 Rainman
Rainman's picture

High Freaks used to mean hippies on acid. Now it means moneymaking supercomputers shanking millions every trading day from the wheel of fortune crowd.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:49 | 727745 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

That rocked 11.

He adds liquidity, for 1 second. Dude, she is not impressed.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:52 | 727752 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

"No. They work for me. I hire them every other week." re: SEC

 

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:20 | 727809 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

No points for subtlety, that guy.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:24 | 727812 Sespian
Sespian's picture

"Say it. Say it twice."

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:02 | 727780 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

The Ben Burnakkee... The Goldman SaXs... The HFT... I have made my mother watch all of these... fantastic! Love them! great for any and all... if you understand you can laugh and for those who dont get it... they may learn something.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:39 | 727843 bobboberson
bobboberson's picture

this is brilliant...

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:42 | 727849 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

He says "Luddite" like it's a bad thing...

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:46 | 727861 Xedus129
Xedus129's picture

Nice EMP should whipe all these machines out, or a nice virus (StuxNet 2 - the worm)

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:50 | 727870 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

What’s wrong with this picture?

 

Symbol                                   Underlying   Qty    Bid   Ask 

 

UAL1 Dec 18 2010 25 Call         UAL       -10    4.00   5.00

UAL1 Jan  22 2011 25 Call         UAL       -10    4.70   4.85

 

 

These are actual quotes copied from a section of my TD Ameritrade account screen at the time of this post. The two options shown are Dec and Jan Calls with a 25 strike for UAL1. These options were created automatically from CAL call options when CAL merged with UAL. Both option contracts are for 105 underlying shares of UAL.

 

As you can see, there is a dollar wide bid-ask spread on the Dec option compared to the more typical spread of  $0.15 on the Jan option. Even more ridiculous is the fact that the offer on the Dec option is $0.15 above the Jan option (Black and Sholes must be laughing out loud). This is not a short term anomaly. This market structure has been present for over a week. If this is the kind of liquidity that HFT is bringing to our markets I think it’s about time we found another better solution.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:53 | 727877 Xedus129
Xedus129's picture

Who are you kidding, HFT brings so much liquidity.  It's the reason Wall Street is drunk off its ass. :)

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 14:01 | 727904 hazenyc
hazenyc's picture

you have terrible feeds then, the Jan11 25 C is 3.60-3.70 and the Dec 25 C is 3.05-3.15 (as of 1:02 EST 11/15)

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 13:55 | 727883 doolittlegeorge
doolittlegeorge's picture

"Okay."  "Okay."

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 14:14 | 727927 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Most any conversation overheard at a Starbucks.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 15:00 | 728059 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Correction.

"Most any conversation overheard at a Bay Area Starbucks."

Okay?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 16:15 | 728239 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Fair enough. We are the land of vacuousness. Which probably isn't even a word, but should be.

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 16:34 | 728273 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

As luck (or genius) would have it, you are correct. Go all the way to the bottom of the definition.

vac·u·ous

 (vky-s)
adj.
1. Devoid of matter; empty. 2.
a. Lacking intelligence; stupid. b. Devoid of substance or meaning; inane: a vacuous comment. c. Devoid of expression; vacant: "The narrow, swinelike eyes were open, no more vacuous in death than they had been in life" (Nicholas Proffitt). 3. Lacking serious purpose or occupation; idle. See Synonyms at empty. [From Latin vacuus, empty; see vacuum.] vacu·ous·ly adv. vacu·ous·ness n.

The American Heritage® Dictionary

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 18:31 | 728602 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Because you are such a frabjous scholar, here is your reward:

http://madscienceunlimited.com/fiction/actsOfCharity.html

I can't decide if she's a very bad girl, or a really clever cat. And then it occurs to me that she could be both and not violate any important laws of physics. At any rate, a spot of horror for the strong of heart, in which we answer the question; What demon sleeps on the other side of extinction?

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 19:16 | 728778 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

What a great read.

You eat people,” he said, having just then mastered the sage art of stating the obvious.

 

You guessed it!” she replied with actual approval. “Quicker than most, actually. Yes I am going to eat you, thank you for your cooperation up to now. If you would like to run and scream and flail around feel free. Enjoy your remaining moments on earth.” And she released his arm just as shadow enveloped them.

 

He did run. A short distance tripping over the uneven surface and then straight into a tree, and caroming off that into a thicket of brush. Just as he extricated himself he felt her hand grab his wrist and then her presence at his throat.

 

BTW cougar_w, now I'm a little worried about you. Are you the author? That would worry me even more. :>)

Mon, 11/15/2010 - 20:05 | 728916 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Either I invented Diamond, or she invented me. On a given day it's hard to say which of us is doing the actual writing.

It's okay to be worried. It is all meant to be horrible.

I the next installment, Diamond and Fortran rob a bank. It's quite charming as you can probably imagine. I'm really enjoying this raping-the-financials theme. Payback is its own reward.

Tue, 11/16/2010 - 08:51 | 730214 kathy.chamberli...
kathy.chamberlin@gmail.com's picture

well, i read your short story last night and liked it. i remember that you are a novel writer, so you authored this story, right?

Tue, 11/16/2010 - 12:10 | 731008 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

yup

hey, you took the shirt off your avatar. you thought we wouldn't notice, huh? ;)

Tue, 11/16/2010 - 13:11 | 731259 kathy.chamberli...
kathy.chamberlin@gmail.com's picture

yeah, like my red third eye. i got one you know, kitty. actually i was kind of pudgy back when i took that. nuff said†

Tue, 11/16/2010 - 07:33 | 730163 bobboberson
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