The One Press Release That The S&P Will Never Issue

Tyler Durden's picture

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Worker Bee's picture

Alternate reality.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Will obama be on the trillion dollar bill?

FreedomGuy's picture

Of course! Geithner and Bernanke will be on the reverse. Based on the Weimar it'll buy you a loaf of bread!

Worker Bee's picture

It will have an LCD screen and they can "adjust" the value as needed.

johnnynaps's picture

Ahhha, Enron accounting standards! Where do we post ahem "that loss" sir Bernanke?

Bernanke: Just create a new account. Call it the negative liabilities account and throw all our crap in it. We will pay this account with funny money via QE 1 and QE 2 and will be epic!


andybev01's picture

*crickets chirp*

Mae Kadoodie's picture

Treason of the highest order.

andybev01's picture

Not obtuse enough for at least 3 of you.

Guess I'll dumb it down for you:

No one will understand or care if they did, BITCHEZ!!!!!!!

SheepDog-One's picture

I dont see why that would have been junked...maybe Ben, Timmah, and Barry Soetoro all stopped by.

andybev01's picture

heh heh heh.

Barry is too busy today, fucking up our traffic patterns down the street.

rocker's picture

Don't feel bad. I got trashed at the highest ever today. A record for me.

My guess: the dummies don't like the message. You said, 'no one will understand'.

That's the problem, the trasher's don't get it.

I say, Don't blame the messenger if you don't like the truth told. 

slaughterer's picture

Wish this would appear on all MSM before next week's FOMC.   Would love to here Ben try to swat it away.  Good work.

6 String's picture

Ah...well, yes. But bond holders are never wrong: 3.4% bitchez.

redpill's picture

Sure would be fun to pass it around on Twitter and watch people freak out for 10 minutes though.

Worker Bee's picture

You may be on to something..if only something like this could be floated to the lame stream media..may cause just enough waves to tip the boat?

Rainman's picture'll need to send along a glossary of terms tho

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

...and a freakishly-beautiful woman with large breasts to read it outloud to everyone.

alien-IQ's picture

too many words for twitter. you'd have to reduce it to : Shit. Fan. Splat. Done.

And then they'd think you were talking about Charlie Sheen. It's useless.

NotApplicable's picture

Ok then, how about Google bombing?

squexx's picture

China may revalue the Yuan this weekend as well as possibly being involved in a Greek (and maybe even a PIIGS) restructuring as well. Comments please, Tyler?!?

Tyler Durden's picture

Probability of China revaluaing voluntarily: 0.01%

alien-IQ's picture

is that up from your previous 0% chance...or am I mistaken?

oddjob's picture

Millions play the lottery everyday for far less of a chance.

willien1derland's picture

Exactly is the probability trending upward?

FreedomGuy's picture

I think China is caught in an interesting problem of its own making. By pegging its currency we export some of our inflation. We print more FRN's and they keep taking them at present value for their goods. Meanwhile, food and fuel get repriced higher. Of course, according to our economic geniuses these are two classes of products that do not count in inflation, but no one told the Chinese peasants. As you see in other articles, the peasants are protesting as their wages stay low and fuel and food rise...both thanks to a deteriorating dollar.

China can revalue or depeg the yuan and get cheaper commodities but lose export leverage or vice versa. The longer they wait the worse it will get...unless the Republicans win the budget battle and the dollar strengthens again. I love manipulated currencies and economies!

cranky-old-geezer's picture


China's laughing their asses off now watching the dollar implode. 

Let's hope laughing is all they do.'s picture

How do we do the time value of money calculation backwards? 

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

This makes too much sense Tyler so it's unbelievable. Of course if it made no sense at all it would also be unbelievable.


Cleanclog's picture

"Winning the Future" WTF - worst political moniker yet.  

What about "Working for the Future"? "Sacrifice for the Future" "The Bankers are our Future" "Your Future Sucks if You aren't a Banker or an Elected Politician bought by the Bankers".

Chuck Walla's picture

HEY! When I think WTF, I think Obama!  Its working.

Worker Bee's picture

"Unlike during the housing bubble S and P is no longer a reliable ratings agency"

 The Berbankster

Chuck Bone's picture

The Federal Reserve intends to handle said losses via a ‘negative liability’ account, which makes them the liability of the United States of America.

Can someone please explain the mechanics of this? How exactly does this become a liability of the US government?

MsCreant's picture

Unless I am mistaken, anything the Fed takes on it's balance sheet is backed by the USG if there is a default. That would be you and me.

New_Meat's picture

well, don'tcha' know.  New term: "Fed Takes On Its Ballance Sheet",  well in pig tradition, we'll call it "slurping".

- Ned

{OT, I hope that your reported home situation is getting better.}

Hephasteus's picture

No. I don't work for the government and I don't pay it's bills.

Element's picture

Sorry Ms, youse lot still ain't good for it ... but your natural resource base might be ... that's what is covering all this BS ... if anything.

JPG101's picture

How would the central bank get out of a very leveraged bet on the US if things go badly? Print more I guess? What would that do to US fiat value and rates? Then what will Americas central bank do? Print more? It gets kind of circular and the end game isn't obvious. Solving a political problem with a printing press is a loosing proposition IMHO...

Maybe the Fed should just buy all the US debt and chip in another 'extra' 10% so there could actually be a surplus somewhere on one part of the balance sheet. The next step would be for the Fed to hide off balance sheet all the extra borrowing (or lending or printing depending on perspective) that the Fed is doing. Problem solved and no one will notice. It worked (and still works) for big banks worldwide. Why not the Fed?


Long PM but retrospectively not enough

FOC 1183's picture

Buried in a routine weekly releas (it's a liability account that they owe as a result of remitting income; when they lose money, the liability becomes negative)

JPG101's picture

See: it all works out!


How come I can't do that? I would be rich sooo quickly

Rainman's picture

Those banksters can really dream up some diabolical shit, huh ?? The Fed is a bucket shop that loses big bets and never has to pay up out of its own wallet. Brilliant.

FreedomGuy's picture

And I thought CDO's and similar instruments were cool! This is way better! Who thinks of this stuff? Do they teach this in modern financial schools? Is it legal for anyone else in industry? Can I invent stuff like this?

FOC 1183's picture

No, per FASB it is explicitly illegal for private companies

nmewn's picture

Pondering...well, the Federal Reserve doesn't have any taxing authority does it.


Perhaps they were too smart by half in it's set up ;-)

cranky-old-geezer's picture

Oh please.

IRS is a Fed agency for all practical purposes.