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The Only 2011 Forecast With A Bizarro Chance Of Getting It All Correct

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One of the traditional characteristics of the financial media world in the last few days of any given year is the veritable cornucopia of next year "predictions" from those who believe their opinions are relevant/important/credible. Of course, with this whole process being nothing but an exercise in vanity, and resulting in pervasive ridicule by the rest of the media world 365 days later, unless of course one has immaculate luck, in which case playing the lottery has far better fringe benefits, Zero Hedge has no interest in actually predicting parallel outcomes, when event iterations are serial and just getting the one main thing right usually ends up paying off in droves (as such our one and only very vague prediction for the end of 2011 is that the Fed will be one year closer to completely losing control of its centrally planned schizophrenic reality, and the market will be ever closer to realizing this). That said, the following list of forecasts by Charles Hugh Smith is certainly worth reading. And with gems such as: Markets in precious metals, oil, commodities, stocks and bonds will rise and fall in an unpredictable fashion; The SNAP food stamp program will be expanded to include cable TV
access to a new U.S. government-sponsored channel, "Bread and Circuses, and
QE3 will include issuing U.S. Treasury bonds directly to households you know this may well be the only set of predictions that gets the outcome right in our Bizarro world, TheOnion-style centrally planned reality.

My Predictions for 2011, by Charles Hugh Smith

Despite the surfeit of predictions currently clogging the Web, I offer my own modest list of predictions for 2011.

I've tried to resist, but the temptation is simply too great: I'm caving in and unleashing a list of 2011 predictions.

Sitting back while other commentators issue their lists of predictions is like being in front of the salty nuts and chips at a party, watching everyone else grab handfuls of the tempting treats. I've held off so far but my resolve has finally broken down.

Despite the ridicule that is sure to be heaped on my head for being wrong, wrong, wrong about everything I expect to happen, at least I share that ignominy with 99.99% of humanity.

Life and history are not predictable, hence the temptation to go ahead and fling a guess or two at the dartboard.

So here goes nothing:

1. North Korea will demand a "workers' paradise" Disneyland be constructed over its uranium enrichment plant. The North Korean Elites are tired of skulking off to the Tokyo Disneyland under faked passports, and so after a hair-raising display of bellicosity and raving threats of a "holy war" against South Korea and the U.S., the North will demand a specially themed "workers' paradise" Disneyland be constructed over their primary deep-underground uranium enrichment plant.

The U.S. will greenlight the project over South Korea's objections, but the deal will fall through at the last minute when North Korea also demands a Universal Studios theme park be built on the Chinese-NK border as a hard-money tourist attraction.

The North, threatening nuclear war, will contact FedEx to inquire about the shipment of fissile materials via two-day express.

2. The Bernanke Put will turn out to be more than a figure of speech. When the U.S. stock market "unexpectedly" craters in the first quarter, despite the Federal Reserve's QE2 POMO buying of Treasuries and the positive news about retail sales, employment and Pres. Obama's pickup games on the D.C. basketball courts, the Fed will reveal that it raked in billions of dollars in profits from a massive bet against the SPX (S&P 500), NDX (Nasdaq 100) and DJIA (Dow Jones 30) via index puts.

After the revelation, the markets will rebound on rumors that the Fed exited the Bernanke Puts and has secretly loaded up on calls. A contract for a new luxurious Fed resort on Jekyll island will be announced via mimeographed newsletter distributed on a "need to know only" basis.

3. The convergence of Hollywood, politics and finance will gather momentum. President Obama will start subbing for the L.A. Lakers, getting the nod from Jack Nicholson and Magic Johnson, while the First Lady will start attending tractor pulls and motocross races.

Ben Bernanke will be a guest on "Jeopardy!", while Tim Geitner will do a turn on "Dancing with the Stars." Everyone's favorite member of the Financial Power Elite, Warren Buffett, will guest-star on "CSI: Omaha" as the avuncular billionaire who has misplaced a few billion dollars invested in Goldman Sachs stock at the bottom of the market in early 2009.

Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO of Goldman Sachs who famously declared that he and the firm were "doing God's work," will join Brangelina on a goodwill tour of East Africa, offering U.S. Treasury bonds to village chiefs in exchange for any diamonds they might have laying around gathering dust. He will be welcomed as a very amusing fellow, though lacking Brangelina's star power and charisma.

4. The SNAP food stamp program will be expanded to include cable TV access to a new U.S. government-sponsored channel, "Bread and Circuses." The new channel will be carried by all cable and satellite carriers, and will feature 24 hours of America's favorite "reality" shows (or their knockoffs and copycats if the original show is unavailable). The lineup will include the full menu of instant-celebrity entertainment: "survivor" copycats, "American Idol" and "Dancing with the Stars" clones, and a revolving schedule of demeaning, obnoxious TV-judge shows featuring citizens confessing to lying, cheating, stealing, wife-beating, child abuse, bungled burglaries, serial addictions, going to church solely to "pick up the ladies," coloring in their kid's coloring books and other assorted crimes and indiscretions.

5. A new "ultimate challenge" gameshow will offer not just instant celebrity but also the chance of dismemberment and death. As the public tires of formulaic singing and dancing contests and foolish races through pig-slop and hokey contraptions, one brave production company will move to a nation without liability laws and launch "the ultimate challenge" gameshow, which will include everyone's favorite contests plus new ones that will bring digital games that mimic combat to real life.

Contestants will gather in a replica of Rome's famed Coliseum, and engage in a series of contests that include dancing, singing, tug-of-war, trash-talking, endzone touchdown dancing, Tongan-Rules rugby, chariot racing, blindfolded combat with exotic ancient weaponry (such as the gimlet tor, a combination throwing net and mace), helmetless motocross, hang-gliding combat, and lastly, a weeklong stint with a U.S. Army Ranger team deep in Afghanistan. Contestants who fail to return will be given spectacular burials, and their exploits will be documented and posted on YouTube, with a voiceover by a Hollywood star.

Though critics will deride the show as "barbaric," it will be an instant hit.

6. QE3 will include issuing U.S. Treasury bonds directly to households.
The sole stipulation will be that any proceeds from the sale of the bonds must be invested in the U.S. stock market.

7. Markets in precious metals, oil, commodities, stocks and bonds will rise and fall in an unpredictable fashion. Every analyst, pundit and commentator will be right about the movements, but at the wrong time. Most players will lose money while convincing themselves they made a killing. Bat guano and 'roo innards will emerge as the "hot commodities" of the year, as both will go parabolic.

Everyone betting on the oil futures contango will be wiped out.

8. Contact will be made with an alien civilization in the Alpha Centauri system. The U.N. security Council will issue a proclamation in support of galactic peace, with Russia and China abstaining rather than support the U.S. initiative. President Obama will request a loan of 100 trillion quatloos from the aliens as a "gesture of friendship to Earth," which his financial advisors estimate will fund the status quo to the 2012 elections.

Republicans will issue a stern warning to the aliens that "illegal immigration" to the U.S. was, well, illegal (at least in states which don't depend on said illegals to mow their lawns, staff their slaughterhouses and tend the Elites' offspring and elderly parents), while the Democrats will offer the aliens instant citizenship and Medicaid as long as they have "anchor babies" "within the U.S. or its airspace."

NASA's budget shortfall will preclude the intepretation of the aliens' message, but it will be believed by some cryptographers to be a combination of laughter and fear.

 

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Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:13 | 839717 umop episdn
umop episdn's picture

I'm sure the aliens will tell us that a check is in the mail...

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:13 | 839719 gwar5
gwar5's picture

I predict the bitches at the Federal Reserve will precipitate a run on the banks and call for martial law.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:32 | 839786 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You missed the point of this post. You are supposed to come up with extreme, gag, predictions, riiiiiight? Yours is a given statement of fact.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:14 | 839726 OMG
OMG's picture

100 trillion quatloos , well well well! So TD has the inside scoop on those quatloos, or he thought he did!

 

The Bernanke had already heard the call "head For The Choopa" and convinced the Alpha Centauri to complete the FX swaps as advised....too late for the admin the water is polluted.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:51 | 839735 CPL
CPL's picture

4. The SNAP food stamp program will be expanded to include cable TV access to a new U.S. government-sponsored channel, "Bread and Circuses."

 

Saddly I believe this will actually happen even with TD being a smart ass

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:53 | 839835 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

CPL, I had the exact same thought. It will be couched in some "Continuation fo Governance" gobbledygook.

The citizens will need to be kept informed of where the Soup Kitchen lines are the shortest, get 24/7 UFC re-re-re-runs etc. etc.

Propaganda!!! It's no laughing matter (insert cackling laugh track)!

ORI

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com

Sun, 01/02/2011 - 05:19 | 842384 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

and what about "interactivity"?  they get to overhear you so as to protect your home(land) from domestic terrorist attack.  you get to pick the features of microsoft's high def dvds.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:00 | 839855 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

SNAP already provides assistance for phone service, so this is not such a stretch.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:23 | 839751 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

I haven't finished reading yet but felt the need to chime in on #3.  Brilliant.  If Mr. Smith had included professional sports in his merger I would go all in on his behalf.  As if seeing Obama's mug on finance and news sites isn't enough he's permeated the sports pages as well.  Good grief!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:25 | 839763 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

Oil and bonds will both rally hard all year?!?

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:29 | 839780 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

"NASA's budget shortfall will preclude the interpretation of the aliens' message, but it will be believed by some cryptographers to be a combination of laughter and fear."

1 Alien: those humans are shitting us, aren't they (giggle)

2 Alien: <after pondering> no I think they're not (alien goo running through their pants)

1 Alien: let's use our time machine and make sure the 1st Contact never happened

2 Alien: you're a genius!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:04 | 839870 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Actually, I am reminded of a Twilight Zone Episode ... the aliens come along with a book entitled, "To Serve Man," and as her ultra-smart science type colleagues board the alien ship to go to their new digs on their planet, the smart young lady manages to translate the contents ...

"To Serve Man: It's a cookbook!"

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:30 | 839784 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Nothing about the construction of Stallags? Work camps for the lazy unemployed?

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:37 | 839795 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You all keep missing that this is a joke post, see. You are supposed to post stuff that is clearly far fetched and absurd. Here is an example of one:

 

#There will be a recovery.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:59 | 839844 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...no..."The current recovery will advance"

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:56 | 840007 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

at an increasing pace!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:58 | 839847 penisouraus erecti
penisouraus erecti's picture

LOL

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:12 | 839888 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Either people are just reading the headlines and not the content...or the world has gotten so effed up people actually can accept the premises as possible. 

 

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 17:14 | 840379 jakethesnake76
jakethesnake76's picture

Thanx i was afraid i was gonna have to prepare for something dire or even worry about my Gov. Job , so i can smile and nod back off to sleep now my retirement funds are safe again.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:04 | 839873 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

You got it wrong, dude.  The work camps are to keep the remaining few productive citizens working while their overlords and supporting poverty-posse live off their efforts.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:39 | 839804 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

Tyler Durden's identity is revealed.  He is a disgruntled janitor at GS and is blogging because his bonus is "only" 300% of his yearly salary.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:00 | 839851 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

....which would also explain his access to certain inforamtion left carelessly lying on the copier....

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:41 | 839805 TexDenim
TexDenim's picture

We are goign to see the Fed buy equities, oil, apartment buildings, pet food, and bordellos in Nevada.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 16:23 | 840221 zhandax
zhandax's picture

They already tried that....Mustang Ranch in Nevada.  They later sold it at a loss.....

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 20:51 | 840822 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

'Tis the screwing they get for the screwing they got!  It's certainly a statement when the Govt. can't even run a cathouse properly!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:41 | 839808 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

I think #8 is a typo. The UN cuts a deal with the Alpha Romeo system and gives Italy a way to get bailed out by the federation of planets and leave the Euro.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:51 | 839822 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

There is one reason and 1 reason only why the government hides from us the fact that aliens have been visiting or possibly are still visiting Earth, any being smart enough to travel the Galaxy would be smart enough to see through the daily lies we are fed, we are in fact a Galactical North Korea, where any contact with the outside is prohibited

 

I wouldn't be surprised that the governments especially USA have threatened with planetary suicide if the aliens where ever to show them selves in public

Sun, 01/02/2011 - 05:27 | 842387 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

if i understand you, i wouldn't be surprised if the u.s.a threatened aliens with planetary destruction either.  what would surprise me is that, after watching iraq and afghanistan, the aliens believed the threats.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:45 | 839819 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

As good as any list I've seen so far.  But two glaring errors:

#5 "Contestants will gather in a replica of Rome's famed Coliseum" no, TV is far too cheap for that.  Think huge uninsulated pole barn.

#8, it won't be quatloos, see here:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/224688/no-space-cash

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:08 | 839881 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

re #5, you are correct sir that TV is too cheap to build an actual coliseum, but they will build a few styrofoam columns and chroma-key the rest ... TV, like Politics, is all about illusion.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:49 | 839827 downrodeo
downrodeo's picture

buwahahahahahah

hang-gliding combat.... hilarious!

 

I've got one: I call it murder golf.

Two players are positioned 50 meters from one another. They are each given a basket of golf balls and a callaway driver, and the last person standing/twitching wins the round. If you're a decent shot, the rounds shouldn't last more than 20-30 seconds. The ad revenue alone could pay the national debt.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:02 | 839864 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

....and Rolex would be a sure advertiser

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:54 | 839836 mogul rider
mogul rider's picture

The maple leafs win the cup.

 

Holy sheep doodoo I just woke up from a nightmare.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 13:59 | 839843 chindit13
chindit13's picture

Some Zerohedge predictions:

---ZH will run 400+ articles on gold, all the same folks will make all the same comments, for and against, nobody convinces anyone of anything...junks flow freely

---Gordon Gekko will write two cookbooks, one for gold and one for fiat paper, "You Can Eat Gold (Just Use My Bathroom, Please)", and "Fiat is the New Arugula"

---Cornelius will devise a program that blocks the account of anyone using any permutation of "bitches"

---Michelle will will Caruso and Cabrera to Erin Burnett, much to the delight of ZH shut-ins and TSA airport personnel

---the range of world problems attributed to Jews by ZH regulars will expand to include acne and boils

---the range of world problems attributed to the CIA by ZH regulars will expand to include chronic flatulence

---Alex Jones will be "proven" to be a CIA psyop, Geopol a Mossad agent, since neither has yet produced official government documents showing 911 was an inside job; Julian Assange will start the rumors to take heat off himself for same

---Marla will start her own blog called SubZerohedge, with obvious product placement opportunities should housing recover; copyright battles will ensue

---a meteor will strike the Earth wiping out North Dakota; ZHer's will scream false flag

---"Tyler" will admit he's really Chumbawamba

---"Tyler" will admit he's really Harry Wanger

---RoboTrader will join PromiseKeepers and swear off soft porn

---Jim Cramer will break Sergey out of prison in order to hack Zerohedge and stop the character assassination, as opposed to the character suicide he does on CNBC

---a future Fed President, now a doctoral student at an Ivy League university, will study Great Depression II and convince himself he knows what Bernanke did wrong;  hide your babies

---ZHer's who write, "this is going to fall apart a lot faster than people think" will be required to do 300 hours of community service in the Hamptons for the "underprivileged" (folks who did not receive an eight figure bonus)

---2011 will end with not a single prosecution for wrongdoing in the financial system

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:06 | 839876 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...you out did the original, especially liked:

 

"--a future Fed President, now a doctoral student at an Ivy League university, will study Great Depression II and convince himself he knows what Bernanke did wrong;  hide your babies"

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:00 | 840020 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

yeah I liked that one too

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:39 | 839914 Red Neck Repugnicant
Red Neck Repugnicant's picture

I think it would be interesting to see the worst predictions for 2010.

In doing so, one cannot deny the undisputed champion - Dick Bove.   He might be the only bull in the Wall Street community (community - lol) that could not find a way to make money in 2010.

Mr. Hairy Face's top picks for 2010?  Banks!  Banks!  Banks!  

In particular, his favorite humping posts were GS, C, BAC and Wells.  

Could it be that Dick Bove is the only person that lost money in 2010?  Obviously, the sebaceous glands in his face responsible for his beard growth are sucking so much energy away from the brain that it has affected his cognition.  He should spend less time being concerned that his face will be cold, and more time directing nutrients to other regions of the body - namely, the frontal cortex.  

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:25 | 839920 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Well done Chindit13, but technically inaccurate. "Bitchez" is not a permutation of "bitches" as it contains a 'z'..

Au and Ag Bitchez! This Biatchie is going down fast!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:43 | 839973 moneymutt
moneymutt's picture

Robo in promise keepers, that was my favorite

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:28 | 840131 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Nicely done..

TD is Harry Wanger reminding us to stay in the here and now..

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:07 | 839877 penisouraus erecti
penisouraus erecti's picture

#5 - sounds like "Monday Night Rehabilitation" from the movie Idiocracy......

lots of tards livin kick-ass lives out there............

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:48 | 839984 mikhail kalashnikov
mikhail kalashnikov's picture

Ya know, it is a good thing our president has a 3 point plan...

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 17:21 | 840401 penisouraus erecti
penisouraus erecti's picture

South Carolina Representative # 1: That's what you said last time, dipshit!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:17 | 839900 rlouis
rlouis's picture

I predict by late 2011 overseas private security contractors of the US gov. go on strike because even with outrageous high pay and low taxes, the $$ won't buy sh** overseas.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:24 | 839916 Croesus
Croesus's picture

 

Predictions for 2011:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9Ck6dyY6gU

 

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:30 | 839922 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I am predicting that income tax rates will revert to 1914 levels and exposure:

 

In 1914, the income tax applied to less than 4% of Americans. The top marginal rate was 3%, while the overwhelming majority of the less than 4% who did pay any income tax paid 1%:


Rep. Cordell Hull introduced the first income tax law under the newly adopted Sixteenth Amendment. He proposed a graduated tax starting with a 1-percent rate for incomes between $4,000 and $20,000 increasing to a top rate of 3 percent for those earning $50,000 or more. The House Ways and Means Committee called upon citizens to "cheerfully support and sustain this, the fairest and cheapest of all taxes. . . ."

The first tax collection day under the new law took place on March 1, 1914. Since the average worker earned only about $800 a year, few people actually had to pay any federal income tax. Less than 4 percent of American families made an annual income of $3,000 or more. Deductions and exemptions further shrank the pool of taxpayers. Nevertheless, the federal government collected $71 million that first year. Millionaire John D. Rockefeller alone paid an estimated $2 million.

All in all, most Americans thought the new tax was a great idea. One taxpayer wrote to the Bureau of Internal Revenue, "I have purposely left out some deductions I could claim, in order to have the privilege and the pleasure of paying at least a small income tax. . . ."

 

BRIA 11 3 b The Income Tax Amendment: Most Thought It Was a Great Idea

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:37 | 839960 Pez
Pez's picture

Here's a couple:

Paris Hilton donates Tax Refund to Michigan: Unemployment drops to .5%

SEC to be acquired by Goldman Sucks in effort to reduce government debt. (Oh sorry, this happened already.)

Cars now made at the GM plant run on non-carbon emitting fuels formulated by Al Gore. Thank you "Clean Coal" quips Obama.

Bush, "Chin"ney, Rumsfeld, et. al. extradited to Gitmo for surreptitiously causing Iraq War.



 

 

Sun, 01/02/2011 - 05:37 | 842388 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

and bush, et. al., require extradition because gitmo is sold to raul castro who takes cuba public following fidel's death and uses the funds (from the fed in q.e. 4) to buy the base rights back to make a terrorist theme park.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:57 | 839962 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Really amusing, thank you...avuncular, such a lovely word. :-))

Reuters will report that Facebook has officially beat out Google.com as the most visited website on the web.... Oh, wait

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:42 | 839968 moneymutt
moneymutt's picture

what's so wrong with letting us use the discount window, I'd love to get a zero percent interest loan for few 100 billion and buy Treasuries with it...I would even use my "earnings" to stimulate the economy, I promise.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:12 | 840072 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

But would you go long, with leverage, on risky positions, with other peoples' monies, if you knew you were going to be made whole with taxpayer money in the event of losses, and that even your bonuses would increase?

 

GIANT VAMPIRE SQUID MAGIC 8 BALL SAYS: Absophuckinglutely.

Sat, 01/01/2011 - 12:06 | 841489 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

why shouldn't the Fed back consumer credit, they borrow at 3%, loan it to us to buy stuff, we were never going to pay it back anyway, it was deficit spending, and they actually collect some payment, because 3% isn't too much interest to pay, and no one wants to lose their credit card in a uber consumer spending economy.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 14:47 | 839981 sbenard
sbenard's picture

LOL! What a great post, and fun to read!

Predicting the future is for prophets, not profits!! My job is not to foretell the future, but to align myself with it! I must set aside my biases, and just trade what the charts tell me!

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:04 | 840037 Weimar Ben Bernanke
Weimar Ben Bernanke's picture

Yeah!!! We will get bailed out with 100 trillion quatloos. Does this mean we will go to war in intergalatical conquest! So first we get Mars,Jupiters moons,Saturn's moons,Uranus's moons. Then alpha centauri system will be next. Then we get Proxima Centuari,then we conquer the entire milky way galaxy in the name of "Fighting them over there so we wont fight them here." Then we conquer the Andromeda Galaxy with the Super Dooms Day Device.

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:05 | 840045 Pez
Pez's picture

2nd 911 truth commission finding: Building 7 "NEVER EXISTED".

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 15:08 | 840062 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

I already believed six impossible things before breakfast, what's one more?

Fri, 12/31/2010 - 17:11 | 840367 Pez
Pez's picture

This just in:

Jaime Diamond looks to buy Iowa mobile home property but can't afford the ones closest to tornado shelter.

That's all I got.

 

Sat, 01/01/2011 - 00:25 | 841106 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

Honestly #5 has a good chance. And I say that with a sinking feeling in my gut. Reality TV didn't do that well, lets spice it up with some *real* danger!

(Channeling a TV executive)

Hey, if they sign the waiver, who cares?

Just watch.

 

Sat, 01/01/2011 - 12:22 | 841500 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

6) has already been discussed. the Fed would replace the worthless equities in 401K accounts with orphaned bonds. sorry you can't sell them and buy stocks, that's the reason they're orphaned. Uncle is worried that people are living out of their 401K accounts, and that puts a load on the safety net. the point being that if they give you UST for equities and there is a fair amount of inflation, they haven't done you any favors.

4) might be necessary since access to the public airwaves is no longer free. boy is that embarrassing. what if they want to warn you that the government is about to collapse, and you're off the grid??

and all the various television, entertainment projections, are probably not going to happen, the biggest change is social networking, which is not entertainment at all. TV will become a virtual goldfish bowl, room ambience. (and I bought an HD TV for this?) 

you have to wonder what netflix investors think they're getting, old Bette Davis movies? most everything made in the last ten years is completely forgettable, including the Coen brothers. and new content is no content. hmm

Sat, 01/01/2011 - 21:24 | 842065 iconoclast63
iconoclast63's picture

Love this post. For 2011, I think I will drink more scotch, continue to obsess over all things Wikileaks, find a large breasted minimalist woman with a passion for ZH, move to a place where I can ride a horse to get around, and finally, I think I will convince at least one of my friends/family to buy silver.

Ok, enough with the prognostications, need some hair of the dog that bit me. Over and out.

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