Paging Ben Dover To Provide Taxpayer Funded Workplace Humor
It doesn't get more surreal than this. In Federal Solicitation RFI-BPD-09-0028, the The Department Of The Treasury is seeking a contractor to provide... Humor in the Workplace. As there is $800 billion to be spent, what better way than for Tim Geithner to get himself a private court jester (with the market relying on the PPT every day at 3pm to prevent a complete and total meltdown we kinda sympathize with the morose, yet tax-troubled guy). Obama's stimulus doesn't get better than this - you, dear taxpayer, would indirectly fund some guy cracking bad jokes (most likely about the economy and politicians): now that is a way to get the economy started if there ever was one.
From the RFP:
The Contractor shall conduct two, 3-hour, Humor in the Workplace programs that will discuss the power of humor in the workplace, the close relationship between humor and stress, and why humor is one of the most important ways that we communicate in business and office life. Participants shall experience demonstrations of cartoons being created on the spot. The contractor shall have the ability to create cartoons on the spot about BPD jobs. The presenter shall refrain from using any foul language during the presentation. This is a business environment and we need the presenter to address a business audience.
Upon completion of the course, participants shall be able to:
• Understand the importance and power of humor in the workplace in a responsible manner
• How to use talents in a creative way that adds humor to everyday experiences
• Alleviate stress in home and the office
• Know how and why humor is important to communication
• Improve work-place relationships
• Prevent burn-out
As supremely bizarre as this whole thing is,we would nonetheless suggest that Zero Hedge is your holistic and comprehensive RFP solution, as we satisfy all 6 bulleted conditions. In addition, we will charge far over and above the next highest bid, as we realize the only way to get Stimulus II is to spend Stimulus I ASAP, and we sympathize. Zero Hedge, like Goldman Sachs and many valiant others, realizes how difficult it is to blow exorbitant amounts of taxpayer money in a short amount of time, but we would nonetheless be willing to do this sacrifice for our country. Hell, we are willing to purchase billions of CIT CDS in the process, if it will make our laughter coefficient higher.
However, as this is a competitive and democratic process, and we realize and accept that there are much funnier entities in the public domain (hard as we try, we will never be as hilarious as CNBC), we provide the link where interested readers and other funny guys can present their laughter inducing skills to the Department of the Treasury. May the least hopeless man amuse Tim Giethner.
hat tip My Money Shrugged