Paging Chris Cox - We Need To Eradicate All Short Sellers Again

We have not seen this level of unpatriotic shorting since last September...

What are our options? Keep in mind this critical decision has to be made in less than 15 minutes to pass senate muster.

a) Short selling ban part deux
b) Throw all hedge fund managers in the tower of London
c) Keep Obama inaugural address on constant loop on every major TV channel, especially the part about how we get better
d) Invade Canada
e) All of the above