Pandora Box's Unleashes Nothing But Selling Algos: P Closes At Lows Of Day, 30% Off Intraday High

Tyler Durden's picture

Something tells us the guy or gal who bought P (better known as the "new old, and always worthless, American Launchcast") at $25 post break is a little angry right about now. Not to mention down by 33%. It seems our forecast of Pandora at $2 in 6 months is quite achievable. In fact at this rate, we give it 4 days.

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FOC 1183's picture

the 'guy' was Altucher

Temporalist's picture

Fantastic!  And also Pisani or Insana or Cramer or...

nope-1004's picture

Nice bail at the close.  Someone didn't want to be left owning this POS.


Growyourownfood's picture

Hahahaha Altucher. the worst

Dejean Splicer's picture

Ouch, ouch my head is stuck up my ass!

Who am I?






Mayor michael bloomberg.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Sell-side is always yelling "come on in, the water's fine!"

Those sell-siders!

So many of todays P's are going to turn into Q's in no time.

Internet Tough Guy's picture

Gold up, stocks down. Momofader is still a perfect fade.

DNB-sore's picture

the name says all; pandora

hambone's picture

C'mon - it's screaming a/h's (up 6 cents).

hambone's picture

Edit - Pandora still fall like stone a/h's...

However, gold, silver seem shinier and sparklier than ever. 

onarga74's picture

Nice bounce on (gld) up .45?? and that was only the fear premium.  This jaunt down you can count on 1450 xau/usd.

buzzsaw99's picture

It won't hit $2 until after calpers buys them all.

American idle's picture

Pandora CFO: Steve Cakebread

No one really knows who he is.

SilverDosed's picture

He makes a fruity Sauv Blanc that my GF likes, I prefer the Cabernet.

chet's picture

And the Great IPO Window of 2011 will be closing in 5, 4, 3...

dark pools of soros's picture

what's worse than an internet music IPO 10 years after the implosion??  well Z, the IPO for a housing market that is double dipping into a pool of quicksand

Beatscape's picture

Headline on CNN, even after 4pm: "Pandora stock surges in its IPO debut".

Who cares if they have never made a profit and don't project to be profitable for the foreseeable future.  It's all about eyeballs! Er, corrected, I mean eardrums in this case.  It's always sunny in the IPO market!  Give all the sheeple some shares...

Mercury's picture

Check out DST - announcing, after a big pop today, that they are definitely not in play or are negotiating with any PE 3:55

Thanks fellas, hope everyone important got out in time...

TruthInSunshine's picture

Pandora is too big to fail.

Bernanklecide & Jeetner will bail out Pandora and its bondholders around $0.50 a share.

Bitch better have my money!

The Axe's picture

Great Underwriting job boys.....

Miles Kendig's picture

I once knew a girl named Pandora - Spike

So much for that shot of love heroin

Miles Kendig's picture

Never did get the chance to see it ... as I know the way with my eyes closed (he) said

Still haven't had sex like that since school

Dejean Splicer's picture

No Charlotte Rubens Bloomberg does not have a nice box....

Once used to finance the early news network, that's what you call Pandora's box, no?

@ $5.oo a pop it took some heavy wear to get the mayors news network up and running.

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Sux when this happens before there is borrow.

Oh well, at least there is Groupon to look forward to.

DonnieD's picture

I have no idea what Pandora does.

andybev01's picture

The same thing that your radio or iTunes already does.

cat2's picture

customized streaming radio

DonnieD's picture

Will the RIAA sue me for using it?

andybev01's picture

No, but your friends might mock you for falling for it.

dugorama's picture

I'd love to hear what's wrong with my thinking here:  everybody under the age of X (30?) consumes Pandora content all day every day.  The two choices you (currently) have are:

1) listen to advertising every 3rd or 4th song or

2) pay $30 a year for a commerical free version.

To me, this is the future.  I see internet radio as totally displacing traditional as we are all jacked into our smart phones.

So, I like the business model.  Meantime, to me, LinkedIn is nothing but a "position wanted" ad site.  A bunch of unemployed people giving each other referrals for non-existant jobs.  I don't see a business model there at all. 

So why does the market hate P and not LNKD ?

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Lnkd is a pos too, well off it's top, drifting lower

P might have a good product that people like and use, but it's about profitability, if you're losing money in this climate nobody wants you.

Same with groupon losing money

StychoKiller's picture

Check out  (public Jazz radio station, "The Oasis in the City", located in Denver, Colorado).

willien1derland's picture

What is the damn value proposition of this company? So you can 'create' & 'share' your own 'radio' station?! I agree TD $2 in six months is the call

cat2's picture

The value is it gives you new tunes based on your thumbs up/down, so they have a database that will recommend new music.  I've used it for years but I've never clicked an ad, so I don't think they have revenue.

ATM's picture

I use it too but also have never clicked on an ad. Why would I? I'm also not oging ot pay $9.99/mo for it or whatever annuity these stupid fucks think they can squeeze out of me.

What can they possibly do to generate income or even think they can have one profitable day let alone a quarter?

They're toast and they suckered some poor lemmings with this IPO. I mean, come February 2000 really that long ago??

StychoKiller's picture

Check out  (public Jazz radio station, "The Oasis in the City", located in Denver, Colorado).

Sudden Debt's picture

reminds me of a stock named Sirius...


WilliamShatner's picture

I'm pretty certain LinkedIn will follow suite and start declining in a serious manner.  Their PE is astronomical, totally unjustified.

Sudden Debt's picture

Linkedin should be valued at 120 to 150 million. MAX!


WilliamShatner's picture


BTW, love your avatar, it always makes me laugh.

StychoKiller's picture

Domokun, FTW!  (Much less trouble than Tribbles!)  :>D