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Postal at the Bank

Bruce Krasting's picture




 

Minor altercation at the bank today. I was in a long line looking to
cash some checks. I happened to notice a lady talking to a loan guy in a
cubicle across the way. It was clear, even from a distance, she was not
happy with the way the conversation was going. She gets up and the
banker comes out with her. She turns to him and says in a voice that was
deliberately loud enough for all to hear:

“I wanna know. Just who’s dick do I have to suck to get a loan? Can you tell me that?”

You could’ve heard a pin drop for a second or two. The banker looked
like he’d been hit with a shovel. A red-faced manager comes out of a
hole and leads the lady out. It’s over in seconds.

Half the people start laughing. The other half don’t know what to make
of it. I am watching this bit of drama and I am thinking of shorting
bank stocks and what a bizarre world we live in.

Banks aren’t really making any loans. They are doing their very best to
avoid that pitfall. It is much easier for them to buy securities with a
fixed coupon from big cap multinationals, bankrupt government guaranteed
agencies and of course the Treasury Department. The banks are having an
easy time of it. With ZIRP as their ally they can just ride the yield
curve. No need for complicated loans. No wonder America is hating its
banks.

-The equity markets are soaring and so is gold. An unlikely outcome. One
market is the measure of optimism the other is the best "smell test" of
the collective fear of the future.

-Banks aren’t lending, but they are making a bundle.

-The economy has recovered to a significant extent. We will not get back
to the growth and 5% unemployment we had three years ago. The emergency
is clearly over both in the US and overseas. But the Federal Reserve is
about to start a meeting that will set in motion another multi-trillion
monetization program.

None of these things (including people going postal at the bank) make
sense to me. The sum of all of these pieces takes me one place.
Instability.

 

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Thu, 11/18/2010 - 03:23 | 737071 meichou
meichou's picture

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Tue, 09/21/2010 - 17:23 | 595857 Bruce Krasting
Bruce Krasting's picture

A little more.

This was done for shock and awe. It had nothing to do with gettng a loan. That had already been decided by others. There was nothing that could change that. If she had yelled out loud, "F- you and your F-ing bank" it would have had a similar effect.

There will be more of this I think. Different. But the common thread will be anger and frustration.

bk

Wed, 09/22/2010 - 12:19 | 597512 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

If she had yelled out loud, "F- you and your F-ing bank" it would have had a similar effect.

That approach in just generic vulgar. Her approach cast the bankers in a much more negative light, if that is even possible these days.

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 03:13 | 594189 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Remember remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, tyranny and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, tyranny
Should ever be forgot...

(treason replaced with tyranny from original poem)

V for Vendetta
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0434409/

"For Good and Evil, Second Edition: The Impact of Taxes on the Course of Civilization" suggests that most revolutions, wars and migrations have been fought because of oppressive taxes http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1568332351/ref=oss_product

Are we there yet?

 

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:19 | 594013 FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

I hear Tim Geithner is giving blowjobs to bankers who give loans to women who will give blowjobs for a loan. That's two blowjobs for every one loan.

It's good to be doing God's work.

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:26 | 594020 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Excepting that everything now is infectious and will rot the entire system from inside out. as it should.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:20 | 593927 AUD
AUD's picture

If the stockmarket is soaring it won't be long before she gets her loan without needing to stoop so low as to suck on the bank manager.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:58 | 593899 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

For you TV fans - approuching the loan officer in your bank today is like ordering from the Soup Nazi.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:35 | 593852 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

That's a weak definition of postal.

If she drove her truck into the branch, pulled out a couple of automatic weapons and went on a wild eyed killing spree that would be fucking postal.

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:24 | 594017 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

The efforts necessary to secure Class III weapons and to do the things you described will wipe out only a few people.

6 months to a year from now, that little soriee will be all forgotten.

Dont forget the Concealed Carrys now, they just might drop her with a Fatal T to the head because they were there at the right time.

 

Besides the branch I bank at, there are three layers of anti vehicle defenses and the tellers that handle the cash itself are behind a safe wall with a fone and a video camera to communicate with you.

At best you might get the front desk lady and maybe the branch manager. And that is about all.

 

Ft Hood in the Military when that one crazy Shrink killed so many dozens of people on base some time ago, now that is how you go postal.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:50 | 593977 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

No, no, I think it works as postal. Lots of shock value sans the murder or attempted murder charges. Certainly memorable.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:02 | 593907 doolittlegeorge
doolittlegeorge's picture

or she could have just said "i'll mail you the check."  basically same message insofar as a banker is concerned.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:23 | 593828 moneymutt
moneymutt's picture

If they just gave ZIRP to everyone in US, we would be out of this problem, give us each 5million at zero percent interest only to be used for invesment,,, we coul buy Treasuries and use money for kids college, buy stocks, venture capital....come one now, why should banks get zero interest loans any more than us, if we do well, we stop defaulting on banks

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:53 | 593887 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Uh, you can.

They're called credit cards at 0% APY.

Play the guaranteed float -- just like the banks are doing.

Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:24 | 593827 moneymutt
moneymutt's picture

dbl post

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 21:19 | 593687 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

Obama's wet dream:

All foreclosed houses given to illegal aliens who are seeking Amnesty (just keep the lawns mowed hermanos).

All unfunded union pension plans get bailed out by Wall Street via a $10 fee on all trades.

A constitutional amendment that Sharia law have equal weight in the US court sytem.

 

 

 

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:34 | 593930 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

"A constitutional amendment that Sharia law have equal weight in the US court sytem [sic]."

 

That'll play havoc with usury, but on the other hand, politicians and bankers will be more easily identifiable at a glance.

 

Washington monument will make a great minaret  - they can introduce it on the first season of "America's Next Top Muezzin".

 

And of course, the Department of Homeland Piety - aka jack-sandaled religious police.

Thu, 09/30/2010 - 23:36 | 593662 pitz
pitz's picture

*delete*

Thu, 09/30/2010 - 23:36 | 593661 pitz
pitz's picture

*delete*

Thu, 09/30/2010 - 23:35 | 593660 pitz
pitz's picture

*delete*

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 20:38 | 593603 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture
“'I wanna know. Just who’s dick do I have to suck to get a loan? Can you tell me that?'”

 

...

 

"A red-faced manager comes out of a hole and leads the lady out."

 

Well, that answers our question.

 

"It’s over in seconds."

Okay, you could have left that part out....

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 20:24 | 593568 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...so your bank employs gay loan officers? That is a good sign of cultural diversity.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 19:35 | 593472 Attitude_Check
Attitude_Check's picture

I keep getting "checks" from Citi and really great "offers" of low teaser interest for up to $20K dollars of new loans.  Of course I just shred-em.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 19:17 | 593441 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Credit Unions!

Not FDIC BANKS!!!!

Are you kidding me? Drop a hundred, open an account and then sign up for everything you can while they are shoving the paperwork at you including those with credit cards and such for you.

Sign away.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 19:04 | 593411 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

The banks are quietly going under and they along with the govt. is trying to figure out how to get out of this mess.  And eventually the solution will be bad for us.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:30 | 593340 LadyH
LadyH's picture

So it's like this, I earn about 300k a year give or take but half is bonus. I'm in long only asset management so it's fairly predictable.

As I do periodically, I re entry paid off my Citi credit card that I use for holidays after a blow out in Paris. 7k balance.

The very day they get the cash, they reduce my available credit to 2k. By my standards, that's hardly a weekend away.

They say my credit has deteriorated. I panic and pull my record. My rating is 973 on a possible 999. ( experian)

Now, if I need to blow someone at Citi for a credit card that isn't a fucking insult, then a lot of people had better get into group tantric sex real quick because MANY cocks will need sucked before those butt heads pay out.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:00 | 593904 doolittlegeorge
doolittlegeorge's picture

what's "tantric sex"?

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:12 | 594000 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Karmic orgasim in the key of G

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:00 | 593902 PragmaticIdealist
PragmaticIdealist's picture

Clearly, Citi is acutely aware that long-only asset management firms are headed for a cliff.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:30 | 593339 LadyH
LadyH's picture

So it's like this, I earn about 300k a year give or take but half is bonus. I'm in long only asset management so it's fairly predictable.

As I do periodically, I re entry paid off my Citi credit card that I use for holidays after a blow out in Paris. 7k balance.

The very day they get the cash, they reduce my available credit to 2k. By my standards, that's hardly a weekend away.

They say my credit has deteriorated. I panic and pull my record. My rating is 973 on a possible 999. ( experian)

Now, if I need to blow someone at Citi for a credit card that isn't a fucking insult, then a lot of people had better get into group tantric sex real quick because MANY cocks will need sucked before those butt heads pay out.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:29 | 593943 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

LadyH - See Jim in MN (above at 16:06) who just had his credit limit lowered from $25,000 to $2,000. Maybe $2,000 is the new normal.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:28 | 593334 CustomersMan
CustomersMan's picture
Here is an Article of interest on the current TBTF Banks that appeared recently regarding QE2.

**************************************

Global Collapse of the Fiat Money System Mathias Chang – Global Research August 31, 2010

 

Too Big To Fail Global Banks Will Collapse Between Now and First Quarter 2011

Readers of my articles will recall that I have warned as far back as December 2006, that the global banks will collapse when the Financial Tsunami hits the global economy in 2007. And as they say, the rest is history.

Quantitative Easing (QE I) spearheaded by the Chairman of Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke delayed the inevitable demise of the fiat shadow money banking system slightly over 18 months.

That is why in November of 2009, I was so confident to warn my readers that by the end of the first quarter of 2010 at the earliest or by the second quarter of 2010 at the latest, the global economy will go into a tailspin. The recent alarm that the US economy has slowed down and in the words of Bernanke “the recent pace of growth is less vigorous than we expected” has all but vindicated my analysis. He warned that the outlook is uncertain and the economy “remains vulnerable to unexpected developments”.

Obviously, Bernanke’s words do not reveal the full extent of the fear that has gripped central bankers and the financial elites that assembled at the annual gathering at Jackson Hole, Wyoming. But, you can take it from me that they are very afraid.

Why?

Let me be plain and blunt. The “unexpected developments” Bernanke referred to is the collapse of the global banks. This is FED speak and to those in the loop, this is the dire warning.

So many renowned economists have misdiagnosed the objective and consequences of quantitative easing. Central bankers’ scribes and the global mass media hoodwinked the people by saying that QE will enable the banks to lend monies to cash-starved companies and jump start the economy. The low interest rate regime would encourage all and sundry to borrow, consume and invest.

This was the fairy tale.

Then, there were some economists who were worried that as a result of the FED’s printing press (electronic or otherwise) working overtime, hyper-inflation would set in soon after.

But nothing happened. The multiplier effect of fractional reserve banking did not take off. Bank lending in fact stalled.

Why?

What happened?

Let me explain in simple terms step by step.

1) All the global banks were up to their eye-balls in toxic assets. All the AAA mortgage-backed securities etc. were in fact JUNK. But in the balance sheets of the banks and their special purpose vehicles (SPVs), they were stated to be worth US$ TRILLIONS.

2) The collapse of Lehman Bros and AIG exposed this ugly truth. All the global banks had liabilities in the US$ Trillions. They were all INSOLVENT. The central banks the world over conspired and agreed not to reveal the total liabilities of the global banks as that would cause a run on these banks, as happened in the case of Northern Rock in the U.K.

3) A devious scheme was devised by the FED, led by Bernanke to assist the global banks to unload systematically and in tranches the toxic assets so as to allow the banks to comply with RESERVE REQUIREMENTS under the fractional reserve banking system, and to continue their banking business. This is the essence of the bailout of the global banks by central bankers.

4) This devious scheme was effected by the FED’s quantitative easing (QE) – the purchase of toxic assets from the banks. The FED created “money out of thin air” and used that “money” to buy the toxic assets at face or book value from the banks, notwithstanding they were all junks and at the most, worth maybe ten cents to the dollar. Now, the FED is “loaded” with toxic assets once owned by the global banks. But these banks cannot declare and or admit to this state of affairs. Hence, this financial charade.

5) If we are to follow simple logic, the exercise would result in the global banks flushed with cash to enable them to lend to desperate consumers and cash-starved businesses. But the money did not go out as loans. Where did the money go?

6) It went back to the FED as reserves, and since the FED bought US$ trillions worth of toxic wastes, the “money” (it was merely book entries in the Fed’s books) that these global banks had were treated as “Excess Reserves”. This is a misnomer because it gave the ILLUSION that the banks are cash-rich and under the fractional reserve system would be able to lend out trillions worth of loans. But they did not. Why?

7) Because the global banks still have US$ trillions worth of toxic wastes in their balance sheets. They are still insolvent under the fractional reserve banking laws. The public must not be aware of this as otherwise, it would trigger a massive run on all the global banks!

8) Bernanke, the US Treasury and the global central bankers were all praying and hoping that given time (their estimation was 12 to 18 months) the housing market would recover and asset prices would resume to the levels before the crisis. .

Let me explain: A House was sold for say US$500,000. Borrower has a mortgage of US$450,000 or more. The house is now worth US$200,000 or less. Multiply this by the millions of houses sold between 2000 and 2008 and you will appreciate the extent of the financial black-hole. There is no way that any of the global banks can get out of this gigantic mess. And there is also no way that the FED and the global central bankers through QE can continue to buy such toxic wastes without showing their hands and exposing the lie that these banks are solvent.

It is my estimation that they have to QE up to US$20 trillion at the minimum. The FED and no central banker would dare “create such an amount of money out of thin air” without arousing the suspicions and or panic of sovereign creditors, investors and depositors. It is as good as declaring officially that all the banks are BANKRUPT.

9) But there is no other solution in the short and middle term except another bout of quantitative easing, QE II. Given the above caveat, QE II cannot exceed the amount of the previous QE without opening the proverbial Pandora Box.

10) But it is also a given that the FED will embark on QE II, as under the fractional reserve banking system, if the FED does not purchase additional toxic wastes, the global banks (faced with mounting foreclosures, etc.) will fall short of their reserve requirements.

11) You will also recall that the FED at the height of the crisis announced that interest will be paid on the so-called “excess reserves” of the global banks, thus enabling these banks to “earn” interest. So what we have is a merry-go-round of monies moving from the right pocket to the left pocket at the click of the computer mouse. The FED creates money, uses it to buy toxic assets, and the same money is then returned to the FED by the global banks to earn interest. By this fiction of QE, banks are flushed with cash which enable them to earn interest. Is it any wonder that these banks have declared record profits?

12) The global banks get rid of some of their toxic wastes at full value and at no costs, and get paid for unloading the toxic wastes via interest payments. Additionally, some of the “monies” are used by these banks to purchase US Treasuries (which also pay interests) which in turn allows the US Treasury to continue its deficit spending. THIS IS THE BAILOUT RIP OFF of the century.

Now that you fully understand this SCAM, it is left to be seen how the FED will get away with the next round of quantitative easing – QE II.

Obviously, the FED and the other central banks are hoping that in time, asset prices will recover and resume their previous values before the crisis. This is a fantasy. QE II will fail just as QE I failed to save the banks.

The patient is in intensive care and is for all intent and purposes brain dead, although the heart is still pumping albeit faintly. The Too Big To Fail Banks cannot be rescued and must be allowed to be liquidated. It will be painful, but it is necessary before there is recovery. This is a given.

Warning:

When the ball hits the ceiling fan, sometime early 2011 at the earliest, there will be massive bank runs.

I expect that the FED and other central banks will pre-empt such a run and will do the following:

Disallow cash withdrawals from banks beyond a certain amount, say US$1,000 per day; 2) Disallow cash transactions up to a certain amount, say US$10,000 for certain transactions; 3) Transactions (investments) for metals (gold and silver) will be restricted; 4) Worst-case scenario – the confiscation of gold AS HAPPENED IN WORLD WAR II. 5) Imposition of capital controls etc.; 6) Legislations that will compel most daily commercial transactions to be conducted through Debit and or Credit Cards; 7) Legislations to make it a criminal offence for any contraventions of the above.

Solution:

Maintain a bank balance sufficient to enable you to comply with the above potential impositions.

Start diversifying your assets away from dollar assets. Have foreign currencies in sufficient quantities in those jurisdictions where the above anticipated impositions are least likely to be implemented.

CONCLUSION

There will be a financial tsunami (round two) the likes of which the world has never seen.

Global banks will collapse!

Be ready.

Source: www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=20853

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 02:14 | 594157 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Per the logic of 9), QE I > QE II > QE III > ... > QE ^N,

the limit is ZERO!

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 23:22 | 593931 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

CustomersMan - Thanks for this article from Global Research. The analysis makes sense and explains a lot of the banking mess. And it is a stark warning about how bad things can get, and how we can prepare to cushion the final banking crisis.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:59 | 593900 doolittlegeorge
doolittlegeorge's picture

whoa.  here's my apocalypse "in one paragraph or less" as per ZH policy.  "i was talkin' to Sean the Cabman while ridin the Yellow from Gary to Evanston.  He said 'Farrakan's just gotta say the word' and I said "here's my phone #--send me text when its nation of islam time."

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:29 | 594027 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

nation of islam time

Is that sung to "Hammer Time"?

 

You do know NOI is supposed to have reconciled all that mothership bidness.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:15 | 593306 MGA_1
MGA_1's picture

What... the Recessions Over !!

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:13 | 593301 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

"...the economy has recovered to a significant extent."

I agree with the conclusion for "volatility", but not the way you got there.

BTW, if she is good looking, I know where that lady might suck up a ST loan.

 

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:52 | 593255 taraxias
taraxias's picture

-The economy has recovered to a significant extent. We will not get back to the growth and 5% unemployment we had three years ago. The emergency is clearly over both in the US and overseas. But the Federal Reserve is about to start a meeting that will set in motion another multi-trillion monetization program. 

 

Bruce, you were being sarcastic, yes?

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:52 | 593254 CashCowEquity
CashCowEquity's picture

Last week I started to buy Gold and SIlver using my credit cards...lmfao !!

 

I win !!!

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:18 | 593143 aztrader
aztrader's picture

Talked to a car salesman at a party this weekend and he told me that if your score is sub 600, you are paying an 18% rate to buy that special car.  Crazy

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:13 | 593123 Lux Fiat
Lux Fiat's picture

-Banks aren’t lending, but they are making a bundle.

??  Without mark-to-fantasy and lowering loan loss provisions, in the profit arena, banks would have dick, or was that jack?

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:13 | 593120 Djirk
Djirk's picture

I can't believe you had to wait in line to cash checks!

That is ridiculous, who uses checks anymore....Oh yeah, the US banks, despite being masters of the finance universe.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 22:55 | 593890 doolittlegeorge
doolittlegeorge's picture

exactly.  that's why ya' use the drive thru, something the lady asking for loan should have known as well.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:07 | 593096 GNandGL
GNandGL's picture

“I wanna know. Just who’s (sic) dick do I have to suck to get a loan? Can you tell me that?”

 

Too bad one of the men in line didn't call out, "How much are you looking to borrow?"

Tue, 09/21/2010 - 00:18 | 594011 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

 

What would Jimmy Stewart in It's A Wonderful Life say in response to the lady?

"Well...ahem...well maam , I don't believe we have ever done that here at Bailey Building and Loan. Mike, hey Mike, you've been here for close to 60 years. Have we ever asked a lady to suck a lollipop in return for a loan? No? I didn't think so. I know I can't remember seeing any lollipop sucking around our 30 year fixed mortgage loan department. Now, now, I'm not claiming no such thing ever happened round our new fangled subprime option-arm department...with all those city slickers running things. Naw, that would be a terrible thing even for a city slicker. Well, maam, I don't believe we can help you. But you might get lucky across town at the Barney Frank Building and Loan...oh...er...maam... I think you might want to send your hubby to apply for the loan."

 

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:47 | 593235 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Why bother to get that specific? Just whip out "Little Elvis" and worry about the fine print later.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 16:39 | 592981 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

I am thinking at one time in America there would have been a rousing entrepreneurial response to what seems at first blush to be a stand up business opportunity.

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 17:10 | 593111 Djirk
Djirk's picture

Agreed. Keep an eye on the enterprise tech sector. Some of the biggies have a lot of cash. With low/no yields and paltry growth opportunities, they could become indirect finance companies via big capital equipment deals. They could structure deals that allow thier customers lower upfront capital costs but could bake in yield with prices of add on software/services.

Or they could just start financing capital directly.

Of course it will take a few years to see if it works out. Watch the balance sheets.

 

Mon, 09/20/2010 - 18:06 | 593290 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

I'm not intimately familiar with this, but I think a lot of the tech companies went down this path in the 2000's. Equipment financing, payment plans, etc. It worked for awhile until the recession hit. Then it caused losses.

I think companies are hoarding their cash because (1) they (besides the mega-techs) have a lot of liabilities and remember when the bond market locked up in 2008; and (2) don't really see a lot of investment opportunities, or even demand. They're cautious for good reason...

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