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Presenting: The Annotated Cramer

Tyler Durden's picture


And now the one you've all been waiting for. Legendary painter Geoffrey Raymond has just completed his Annotated Cramer, suggestively titled "Naked Short." If the annotation on the painting and its sheer brilliance alone does not fetch millions of dollars in a few years time (in today's dollars, not in post QE2.0 hyperdevalued greenbacks), the third Fibonacci nipple will surely do it. Here is your chance to get the only Cramer-associated asset that will continue to grow in value.


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Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:30 | 473656 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Does he take PayPal? :>)

BTW who will be the first to make this their ZH avatar?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:42 | 473692 Steak
Steak's picture

yo CD, long time no chatty.  I hope you don't mind me borrowing your space up top for a lil link action.  Last spam of this today :)  (mostly) Techno musiq playlist for those of y'all who like such things on a sloppy Friday trading day:

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:29 | 473813 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

I'm a breakbeats fan...was actually reliving my college days last night on some DJ Sharaz, Dave London, DJ Rob E and a few other...


Here's one for ya

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:33 | 473832 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Man does that ever bring out the tribal in me all crazy like.

Shit, now I have a leg cramp. :>)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:44 | 473885 Steak
Steak's picture

yo that is quite a hot track...that everything but the girl sample is deliciously mixable

here is one of my favorite iterations of that song: 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:55 | 473928 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

unfortunately, I can't see youtube from work comp.  Will try to remember to check it out later tonight. 

I just so happened to post that one song to my FB account so I grabbed it.  Sharaz did some pretty amazing stuff...his "Deliverance" album was/is off the chain.  Wish I still had my comp from college with the thousands of songs I ripped off Napster when it was around.  Nothing like finding another student with the same likes in music and being able to download from them on the same network with a T3.  ;-)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:09 | 473970 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Nah, that old computer was so filled with viruses, spy ware and trojans from Napster you'd never be able to clean it up. I build the extended family computers for numerous generations and when Napster was around, I can't tell you how many times I wound up completely formatting the hard drive after spending hours trying to dig out all that shit.

Some of the really nasty shit hid in the boot files or the system restore files and they would pop out after you ran the virus program and re-booted. Consider yourself lucky you don't have it. Memories are always better than the reality was. :>)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:21 | 474006 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

and that's probably what killed it! 


ahh, the memories....

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:27 | 474220 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Dude, you like you are "whacking it" on chat roulette in your avatar.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:13 | 474340 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

We call that "handling a stone crab caught off the dock" where I'm from.  It's claw was delicious, too.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:49 | 474289 WeeWilly
WeeWilly's picture

My Friday contribution...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:48 | 473706 Top_Kill
Top_Kill's picture

Was I first?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:51 | 473710 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:55 | 473720 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The winner in 18 minutes flat.

Give the man an all exclusive week shadowing Cramer. Hope you survive the ordeal Top_Kill. :>)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:00 | 473739 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

First prize for being FIRST - a one week free subscription to ""...

2nd prize... a years free subscription (and a free trading account)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:50 | 473882 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Apparently....good show.

And I just decided, Lieberman willing, that if the Net is still available next 4.20, I will wear a James Cramer mask to celebrate the Bavarian Illuminati's reign as "M"agnificent "M"arket "M"aker.

They're not so bad, right Cramer?

"Theeeeeey're GREAT!  Yip Yip Yip!!!  Zing Biiiew...Biiieeew!"  -Cramer

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:06 | 474140 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

oh i forgot about that... cant stop laughing

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:05 | 474141 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

oh i forgot about that... cant stop laughing

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:58 | 474316 The Rock
The Rock's picture


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:32 | 473662 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Who says financiers dont have taste in art ;-)

lol CD above me

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:34 | 473666 perpetual-runner-up
perpetual-runner-up's picture

Anythign to the URL linking to the pic??



Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:35 | 473672 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Our IT structure is named after CB presidents.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:37 | 473675 perpetual-runner-up
perpetual-runner-up's picture

cool...figured it wouldnt be a screw up, but figured I would see...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:46 | 473893 Steak
Steak's picture

so you get the ever satisfying pleasure of dropping a "FU trichet...FU bernanke" whenever you have IT issues...nice

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:02 | 474690 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Nice touch!!! 

Is it as reliable as CB IT structure? 

Will your IT structure spawn any Deacons any time soon?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:38 | 473683 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Is that Marla Singer's scrawled and printed signature down in the lower right had corner? :>)

Say it ain't so Marla, say it ain't so.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:03 | 473749 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I don't see "John Hand-COCKS" signature on this... It's gotta be a fake...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:05 | 473964 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

I see "TRUST ME" upper left... maybe Bernie Madoff signed it...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:11 | 473973 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Now that really did make me laugh out loud. :>)

Brilliant for even making the connection to ole Bernie.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:35 | 473670 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture


But. This infamous Joker is not good even for a poker game.

No sale.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 17:41 | 474526 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

which infamous Joker do you refer to?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:37 | 473677 turds in the pu...
turds in the punchbowl's picture

mega booyahs

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:39 | 473686 truont
truont's picture

I'm sure Cramer just loves his swirly nipples!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:40 | 473689 turds in the pu...
turds in the punchbowl's picture

all three of em

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:02 | 473744 BearOfNH
BearOfNH's picture

Just like Krusty the clown!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:40 | 473687 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

I am aspargus.. lol

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:51 | 473711 subqtaneous
subqtaneous's picture

 . . . grilled, and with bernais sauce.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:58 | 473731 Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

 . . . grilled, and with bernais sauce.


Cramer? No. Grilled, and with bukkake sauce.  Sorry for the epicurean override.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:17 | 473785 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Honestly grilled by a panel of Intelligent Honest Americans would work for me. 


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:47 | 474084 turds in the pu...
turds in the punchbowl's picture

mega booyakkake sauce

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:25 | 473808 Agent P
Agent P's picture

That got me laughing too!

I am Cramer...I am asparagus...I make your pee stink!!!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:41 | 473691 jbc77
jbc77's picture

Really nice piece of work there.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:42 | 473694 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

I think we might have a new clueless champion:

"Nothing happened, but the news was bad anyway. Commentary: Historic decline in sentiment comes almost without warning"

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:20 | 473811 JR
JR's picture

Post forwarded to "Michael Pento."

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:04 | 474693 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Everybody forgot to take their meds at the same time.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:44 | 473699 turds in the pu...
turds in the punchbowl's picture

mega booyahs

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:51 | 473714 SDRII
SDRII's picture

Did anyone else catch Mike Mayo calling out Pandit and Citi on why he hasn't been given a meeting in 20 month while his peers seem to have a revolving door. And he followed up with "looking forward to scheduling that meeting" -

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:53 | 473716 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Now if we could only gut the real Cramer , stuff him with dollars and stick him on a pedestal.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:54 | 473719 sheeple
sheeple's picture

he forgot the horns [devil, not unicorn]

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:06 | 473755 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You give him too much credit. Satan, at least, can get some things right.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:01 | 474126 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Even while he works his percentage

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 18:02 | 474576 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Hey dude. Wad uuuuuuup! Hope CA is taking good care of you. See ya soon.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:55 | 473721 Burnbright
Burnbright's picture

Notice how he looks sort of like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:05 | 474694 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Long before the painting he looked like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 12:55 | 473722 ATG
ATG's picture

Cramer earlier this week:

Eggheads wrong about double dip.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:01 | 473742 Ruth
Ruth's picture

Actually....I think he looks better here....more real

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:07 | 474122 Miles Kendig
Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:07 | 473758 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Is that art or some hellish hallucination?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:06 | 474696 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Art is in the eye of the Attorney General Holder.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:07 | 473759 csmith
csmith's picture

when did he get a nose ring? Missed it...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:10 | 473769 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's amazing what they can cover up (with makeup) on TeeVee.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:12 | 473761 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"naked short" refers to the lower anatomy not the legality

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:08 | 473762 partimer1
partimer1's picture

one of the criteria for recovery is to see the clown off the air. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:08 | 474699 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

What are you going to do to him then?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:11 | 473771 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

After seeing this and since CNBS is airing movies, I think that it would be appropriate to air The Picture of Dorian Gray.  What happens when you sell your soul to Whore Street.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:14 | 473776 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"the third Fibonacci nipple will surely do it."

Tyler, I'm never going to be able to read a market/stock TA again without this image flashing in my brain. Thanks a lot! :>)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:15 | 473777 God
God's picture

Cramer will pay for his sins. The relationship with Lord Blankenstein should be the most suspicious.

--Sniper in the sky

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:27 | 473817 Art Vandelay
Art Vandelay's picture

Nice work, Geoffrey.

May I make a suggestion for your next piece?

How about Tony Hayward?


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 20:36 | 474724 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That would be hunting in a baited field, shooting fish in a barrel.


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:28 | 473820 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

If good art is supposed to "move" a person, this artist has succeeded.

The portrait makes me physically ill when I can bring myself to look at it.  It is, in a word, disturbing, and thus captures the essence of Cramah.


Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:33 | 473837 curbyourrisk
curbyourrisk's picture

Have you read some of the writings on that?


"I have Lenny Dykstra so far up my ass all I taste is Spitting tobacco"


I love that!!!!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:03 | 473953 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture
Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Wow, that is almost as annyoing as the real deal.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:21 | 474003 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture
"Cramer is filling in nicely"

This is still a work in progress

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:58 | 474038 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

The "American Investor" is still my personal GR fav .. That somehow found a home near some original Japanese Woodblock's.  This rocks tho and the Chew Me ref is priceless...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:44 | 474417 CBTeas
CBTeas's picture

I think this picture would have more takers if it was a toilet seat

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 18:05 | 474581 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Would you want his big open lips around your bum? Maybe a toilet bowl. Or a spittoon. Interesting idea though, got me thinking. 

Sat, 07/17/2010 - 00:36 | 475023 Artful Dodger
Artful Dodger's picture

Pretty tame commentary written on this painting. Why didn't they let the ZH crowd at it?

Compare "The Annotated Fuld":

Get the whole Raymond avatar collection today!!!!!

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