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Presenting The Generic Trader's Desktop

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The following artist's impression of the generic trader's desktop is applicable to pretty much anyone (who is not a Primary Dealer) trying to scrape a living trading the "stock market", better known as the monetary policy tool to implement "The Wealth Effect."

From John Lohman

 

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Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:36 | 1100895 OMG
OMG's picture

Is that Karl Denningers desktop? Wow how did you get it? What is that at the bottom a RAD chart?

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:36 | 1100908 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Add this video of Bernanke's son:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLYbDg242EY

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:43 | 1100929 Dr. Richard Head
Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:20 | 1101052 gorillaonyourback
gorillaonyourback's picture

dude i watched that video and i cant figure out whose more fucked up you for putting that video out there or me watching it. lolololol

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 19:35 | 1101616 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Nice rack !

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 18:57 | 1101520 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Can't be. Karl's still running on an EtchaSketch platform.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 19:29 | 1101576 CPL
CPL's picture

When you shake it, you buy on the dip.

Not much different from trade desk or any of the other playskool toys sold to day traders.

If you can pay to play or want to make your own HFT.  Eclipse trader.  Runs on any platform and it's open source.  No trading engineer should be without it to see how widely fucked the math is on play for pay platforms out there.  As mentioned, couple of good free HFT algo's plugin's can be had for free.

If looking for support, it's open source, therefore free.  If you don't speak geek or math, don't bother.  If you are willing to learn and not bitch in the forums about how you don't understand/lost money/not listening, come on board.  Even a high powered saw has caveats, so does Eclipse trader.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:34 | 1100896 UGrev
UGrev's picture

I'ma kill you clippy!! 

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:57 | 1100981 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Can't be done. Thanks to the internet's proclivity for snark, he has become an immortal meme.

I bet BillG never saw that one coming either.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:36 | 1101119 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

in the help window, type 'kill the fucking paperclip!' and it figures out what to do ;-)

- Ned

{although, in this case, it is the first sensible set of alternatives I've seen}

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:34 | 1100897 Doode
Doode's picture

Positive winning attitude is missing! Should offer another option: go long everything and make big bux now!!!

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:36 | 1100905 riskarb
riskarb's picture

I'd like to know how you remoted my desktop. 

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:38 | 1100906 MaxVernon
MaxVernon's picture

"Cancel and Return to Porn" - priceless!

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:36 | 1100907 DeweyLeon
DeweyLeon's picture

I'll take the third option Mr. paperclip. 

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:38 | 1100915 Misean
Misean's picture

I call no way! There should only be a macro on the desktop called "Shortcut to BTFD!". The rest should be WoW, Battlefield and Pr0n links.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:04 | 1101003 anthoxanthum
anthoxanthum's picture

Indeed, 4tw!!1101

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:13 | 1101033 RmcAZ
RmcAZ's picture

Haha, I came in to post this. Where's the BTFD button?

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:39 | 1100916 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

There's no volume on this thing.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:41 | 1100926 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

no need for volume when there's...no volume.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:43 | 1100924 Muir
Muir's picture

Very nice

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:44 | 1100936 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

I could say the same about those Ta ta's. Almost hypnotic...

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:46 | 1100940 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

OK very hypnotic. What was this post about again?

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:49 | 1100951 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

This was a post about big canners from what I recal.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:52 | 1100964 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Thats where all the volume went.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:42 | 1100932 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

where's the CNBC "quick link" button that's shaped like Maria B's fat mouth?

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:42 | 1100933 The Axe
The Axe's picture

If you watch some anal shots...while trading PCLN....TWO birds ONE stone..

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:44 | 1100938 deepsouthdoug
deepsouthdoug's picture

Clippy knows all!

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:48 | 1100947 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Why does that god damn paper clip look so happy? Is he laughing at me?

-Generic trader 5 minutes post placing /es short (on any given day)

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:52 | 1100967 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Because he knows you are going to pick #3.  He likes pr0n too.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:02 | 1100950 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Way too many bells and whistles here.  All you need is a Staples-sized BTFD button on your keyboard.

But give a listen to how non-generic traders generate actionable ideas:

http://www.cnbc.com/id/42268140

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:48 | 1100952 Arch Duke Ferdinand
Arch Duke Ferdinand's picture

""Even Hardcore Greenies Still Use Washing Machines""

The Magic....Load the machine....Read Library books to your kids.

Hans Rosling and the magic washing machine statistics...

http://goodthoughtsgoodwordsgooddeeds.blogspot.com/2011/03/even-hardcore-greenies-use-washing.html

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:52 | 1100968 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

yet again i find people questioning the ability of "the great men of history" to time the market.  i hear "ever Caeser himself was a great market timer."

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:56 | 1100975 10kby2k
10kby2k's picture

return to porn....lol

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:57 | 1100985 Unlawful Justice
Unlawful Justice's picture

When the magicians trick is no longer a secret, the last trick is to tell how it's done.  I would speculate there is a new game in town.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 15:58 | 1100987 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

beyond right and wrong...

One thing you have to ask yourself about any process is "is it effective?". If the answer is yes, you start running various scenarios and you get an idea of robustness.

Efficiency, well, clearly it's net negative but who can argue with effectiveness and robustness of whatever they are doing? Fatigue is showing the bond market, but on what basis could you justify shorting this "notional market"? If you do, you might as well do a gay porn too. You're going to walk with a limp either way.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:02 | 1100997 youALREADYknow
youALREADYknow's picture

Looks just like my desktop on Thursday. Should have clicked the third button instead... would have saved me thousands.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:04 | 1101001 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

To think that all they needed to do was buy...

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:05 | 1101006 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Hilarious....

Looks like we are still in the "Buy the Freaking Dips" mode.

We'll have to wait and see what happens in Japan over the weekend.

Odds are getting higher that somehow the problems will be solved and the Nikkei will lurch up once again.

 

 

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 18:59 | 1101530 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

To be honest with you, I believe this weekend the Japanese govt. will not have this situation controlled.  In fact I believe that once it's 100% verified (they know already, the've known since last week) that reactor 3 has broken through it's containment and the core is leaking, they will abandon the situation to think up another option.  And during that time nobody will be sprying water and nobody will be keeping cool all 6 reactors.  They will have to because it would have become to dangerous for the workers to be at the nuclear power plant, 10,000 times background radiation is what burned those workers who stepped into the water.  There's a difference in going to die for your country in one swell swoop of action than waiting your turn and watching every 50 men and women coming out slowly losing their body functions and seeing what will happen to you the longer you stay not at the reactor but even in the area.

These men and women will break and run and no amount of bushido code or whatever can change that.  And remember, the govt. over their is lying about how much the radiation is in the area, it has to be at least 2,000 times the yearly level.  This is being irradiated at this concentration or more every second and every minute and every hour of the day they stay in the area.  I wouldn't be surprise that all of them don't have radiation sickness right now.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:06 | 1101010 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

"What keeps you from making bad trades?"

Trader: "Paying more attention to lunch time, drinking heavily and great porn clips"

"What is your favorite platform and datafeed?"

Trader: uporn

"what do you do when your position goes against you?"

Trader: "I switch out to dog style."

"any money management tips to share?"

Trader: "Don't blow your wad, to early."

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:08 | 1101014 TheBadgersSett
TheBadgersSett's picture

Porn is the lonely traders friend.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:16 | 1101043 Antarctico
Antarctico's picture

Porn is everyone's friend.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 17:46 | 1101312 TheBadgersSett
TheBadgersSett's picture

True, true.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 18:04 | 1101374 prole
prole's picture

Yeah if you don't have a gf.

(37x-25=)Math question cannot be longer than 3 characters but is currently 4 characters long.WTF.over.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 19:56 | 1101659 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

sometimes Tyler just wants to fuck with somebody - nothin' personal. it's a little relief gimmick for him - avoids burn-out

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 20:37 | 1101757 Antarctico
Antarctico's picture

And, what if your GF likes the pr0n too? :D

Sat, 03/26/2011 - 17:21 | 1103717 TheBadgersSett
TheBadgersSett's picture

She kisses the children with that mouth.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:20 | 1101058 chet
chet's picture

Barely related, but a "Get Motivated!" event rolled through town the other day with a bunch of guest speakers like Colin Powell, Laura Bush, Steve Forbes, Bill Cosby and quite a few others.  All day motivational event.

I didn't go but I guess in between speakers there were plugs for various other seminars and products, including a couple of guys pushing a momentum trading "system" on all the newly motivated schmucks.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:28 | 1101082 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I dont get it, Im an Imac user. :(

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:35 | 1101108 newstreet
newstreet's picture

Nice to see you Robot.  You're one of the few on this site worth more than a rat's ass.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 16:58 | 1101172 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

I just found a video of Bernanke explaining why perpetual QE is infallible. 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/a-beautiful-mind-12-year-old-boy-genius-...

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 17:12 | 1101210 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Kid looks like he needs a good beating.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 17:23 | 1101244 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

He must have Aspergers. The filter in the brain that decides what information should be retained as being beneficial for human survival is broken which is why he will be a social misfit but the kid is a pretty functional genius.

   He is not MIT PHD but hey...he is getting there.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 17:52 | 1101333 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Clippy!

omg...

Giblert Gottfreid is available!  (He did the voice for clippy back in the day).

Bring back Clippy!

These, are funny:

Clippy Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa4YKZB6jG0&feature=player_embedded

Clippy Undercover:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzy_oKggo3I&feature=related

Clippy Faces Facts:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp2X3KX9iCs&feature=related

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 18:44 | 1101484 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Tyer, take a day off. Too, to much. Rest well. We need you.

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 18:59 | 1101531 whatz that smell
whatz that smell's picture

thank god robotTrader stated the obvious cause i was worried my puts might expire worthless.

god bless the bernank and his dandy put(z).

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 19:30 | 1101599 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

I didn't know generic traders had Bloomberg terminals.

...that is a bloomberg screengrab of the SSE correct?

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 20:18 | 1101704 JackES
JackES's picture

good

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 20:21 | 1101716 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Cheer up guys, it's all good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqlafaGZyr8

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