Presenting The Upcoming Bestseller: Quantitative Ponzinomics For Dummies

Soon appearing on the Bernie Madoff Book to the Month club:

Why is Global Ponzinomics such a hot topic? Here's why, courtesy of world leaders who just can't get enough:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND
WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM
January 28, 2009

KLAUS SCHWAB, FOUNDER OF WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM ANNOUNCES SURPRISE PANEL

GLOBAL PONZINOMICS: THE VIEW FROM WALL STREET

The following are excerpts from today's surprise panel discussion:

KLAUS
SCHWAB: Distinguished guests, today we have arranged a surprise panel
to lead us through the cutting edge of Global Ponzinomics. As you all
know, the modern day version of Ponzinomics has its origins on Wall
Street. I know you are all keen to hear directly from the leaders of
Wall Street as well as the regulators all of whom made this remarkable
feat of financial wizardry possible. The organisers of the Forum have
spared no expense in bringing you a first rate panel. I would like to
thank the United States Marshall Service for its cooperation in making
it possible for Mr. Madoff to attend the Forum. That is a custom
designed Cartier bailout bracelet Bernie is wearing. It is designed to
explode if he gets within 50 yards of any UBS Branch in Davos. Mr.
Madoff requires no introduction. His genius and modesty is well known.
We thought it would be appropriate for Bernie to lead today's panel
discussion. At this time I would also like to thank Citigroup for
providing special air transport services to bring the panel
participants straight to Davos on such short notice. Without further
delay, I turn the discussion over to Bernie.

BERNIE MADOFF: "I
would like to express my sincere gratitude to many of the participants
in this forum. Without their undying support for so many years, my
achievements would not have been possible. They deserve much of the
credit for making the modern paradigm of this fascinating art possible.
As you all know, Ponzinomics were invented by Charles Ponzi some 100
years ago. Who would have thought that the genius of this humble man
would become the driving force behind today's global financial markets.
Dick, before I forget, would you please be good enough give me the
number of that Real Estate lawyer in Palm Beach."

DICK FULD: "We
thought we had all the bases covered. We were hedged up the wazoo. I
was certain that we managed to make ourselves too big to fail. In the
end I was wrong. I underestimated the financial tsunami of 2008. My big
mistake was not finding a way to put a Lehman banker in the Treasury
Department. Lloyd you snookered me on that one."

JOHN THAIN: "I
would like to start by saying three things: First, I have posted my
French Commode along with my resume on Craig's list and Monster.com,
Second, Ken you can take that faux hand Grenade sitting on your desk
and shove it you know where. As we shall see, BAC is one big live hand
grenade and Ken has already pulled the pin, Third, can anyone tell me
where I can find a reputable antique dealer in Davos? Oh, and one more
thing, Stan O Neal owes me my bonus."

KEN LEWIS: "John, you and
I both know that I'm the CEO of BAC and you are not. You did not jump
on the bailout hand grenade like a good bailout soldier. For this you
must suffer the consequences. If this is not good enough, I will meet
you on the top of the Weissfluhgipfel at O-700 hours for a Chinese
downhill. The downhill will decide everything."

HANK GREENBERG: "You are all a bunch of rascals, give me back my Company so I can lose it fairly!"

LLOYD
BLANKFEIN: "As I have said on many occasions, the Goldman investment
banking model remains sound. We concentrated our efforts on putting men
of Gold in the halls of power. This has paid off handsomely. Hank
Paulsen saved us from the AIG explosion. The primary purpose of TARP
was to save Goldman Sachs and this goal was achieved magnificently.
Hopefully, the hiccups we are experiencing will dissappear in due
course. Then we can all get back to business as usual."

VIKRAM
PANDIT: "In response to yesterday's negative press we have decided to
divide the Citigroup jet fleet into two halves consisting of good jets
and bad jets..."

JIMMIE CAYNE: "Anyone know where I can find a decent bridge game around here?"

STEPHEN
SCHWARZMAN: As you all know, I am CEO of the Flintstone Group, a
humongous (2big) financial (systemic) juggernaut ready to (fail)
implode (risk). I don't mean to sound self serving or pedantic, but the
reason we are in this mess is very simple, not enough leverage.
Remember--Flintstone Group, not enough leverage, systemic risk.

PHIL GRAMM: "If we could just stop all the whining."

ALAN GREENSPAN: "Where am I?"

BOB RUBIN: "Shut up Al, your giving me a headache."

CHRISTOPHER COX: "I just did what I was told to do."

VLAD
PUTIN: Gentlemans, you are all cordially invited to spend a few days
with my Dacha in Chita Sibera, following this Summit. We Russians would
like to thank you (the Russian way) for the financial Chernobyl
engineered by your kind selves and the damage to Vodkanomics.

Courtesy of William Banzai

Comments

[ambrosiac]

BRUCE COCKBURN:  If I had a rocket launcher

[Dburn]

[phone]

[sgt_doom]

I'm kinda surprised Vikram didn't mention about securitizing the toilet seat on that plane.

[gridlock]

+ 1MM ;)

[williambanzai7]

AGE OF IMPUDENCE:

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/05/age-of-impudence.html

[tip e. canoe]

banzai, you should really submit your toxic AIG design to Howard to make a shirt.

[williambanzai7]

Howard, if you are reading this, I am happy to provide any of my work to support this site.

Wb7

[Howard_Beale]

Now that's what I wanted to hear. Thank you so much. This is fantastic work and going on mugs and T-shirts immediately!

Shirt: http://www.zazzle.com/quantitative_ponzinomics_for_dummies_tshirt-235936909521389688

Mug:  http://www.zazzle.com/quantitative_ponzinomics_for_dummies_mug-168817674561338832

NIGHTMARE ON WALL STREET:
http://www.zazzle.com/a_nightmare_on_wall_street_tshirt-235268768380736813

Remember, you can customize the style of the mug/shirt or size and color. Ladies, it comes in shapely women's shirts too!

See the whole store at www.zazzle.com/Howard_Beale

Thanks everyone...it's starting to get going. Send more ideas anytime, anywhere, here or at Zazzle.

[Astute Investor]

HB:  Just created a Ben Bernanke "ZIRP 4EVA!" t-shirt on your website.  Hopefully, somebody, somewhere didn't beat me to it.....

http://www.zazzle.com/ben_bernanke_zirp_4eva_tshirt-235093632478025073

[Howard_Beale]

Thanks!

[Howard_Beale]

WB,

What's the link for the toxic AIG design? And if you have any work in progress (or in your mind) for the PIIGs--I'd be thrilled if you could help. I am working on another old movie design today of the 3 stooges. One man can only do so much and my goal is for 100 original designs/slogans/etc. in a month. It's been less than a week. 

Hope everyone saw Larry Summers and Timothy Geithner in drag posted last night from It's a MAD MAD WORLD! It's at the store and a full wrap around picture mug. And now thanks to WB, we are going to get even stronger to help ZH.

Thank you again--your work is absolutely brilliant. We need to talk off blog--may need larger image sizes and talk about which is copyright, etc . Contact me at howardbeale72 at gmail.com.

[Hulk]

Banzai, I do hope you are making a good living off this talent of yours!

[velobabe]

YEAH, we have a connection, Houston.

thank you thank you thank you†

quite frankly i haven't laughed this hard in a really long time, you are seriously brilliant.

your busting my balls, here WB7.

the daily show staff should hire you out. you got great material.

copyrights?

[williambanzai7]

If I catch someone using the stuff without proper attribution or permission, I'll send em a lawyer's letter they'll never forget.

I have not used any of my stuff for commercial purposes so I have not worrired about infringement. I have not received any DMTD notices from Goldman Sachs ;-)

[Howard_Beale]

You know, GS messed with the www.goldman666.com guy and it was just about the use of the logo.

[williambanzai7]

Then I'd change it to Godmen Squid!

[Howard_Beale]

No, not necessary....it was the use of the Actual Logo. I just all it the Squid.

[susiesss]

just wanna tell,China has just announced to increase the bank reuquired reserve rate by 0.5%

[LarryKudlow]

BEN BERNANKE: I highly recommend this book.

The Federal Reserve will stand behind any effort aimed at stimulating the economy, no matter what what brand of economics is used in doing so.

[gimli]

JIM CRAMER: I'm here to expose my secret:

Booyah! --- in actuality is a mutated form of Pig Latin -- and means. Hi you boobs! It is the secret welcome for those entering the game of Ponz.

I'm sure all present here today will keep this confidential. Because, as you know, my audience is trained to act -- not think

[AssFire]

Yes, all boobs and it burns my ass.

[williambanzai7]

DICK FULD'S REPO 105 WORKBOOK:

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/05/repo-105-work-book-for-dummie...

[Howard_Beale]

See my comments above--:)

[glenlloyd]

where can i get a copy?????

[williambanzai7]

POWER CORRUPTS:

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/05/blog-post.html

[sgt_doom]

Blankfein  =  jail time

Make it so.